– – Even when you are out in the woods in the darkness of night, you can apparently find attached to a tree a convenient brightly-illuminated medicine cabinet, filled with a wise, zen-like squirrel who will counsel the gastric-afflicted that “many hot dogs are within you,” and provide pepto bismol to go, in a convenient use-anywhere vial!
Such is the Pepto 2 Go TV commercial, “Squirrel.” Would you refer to such a squirrel as, “your nutty buddy?”–Nah, I’m not gonna touch that one…
– – Have you ever seen anything look this sad and cute at the same time?–Don’t you just want to take it home with you?–Well, you may not want to, because it’s a venomous primate, a type of slow loris species called Nycticebus kayan newly discovered in Borneo.
Now the slow loris (which sounds like a Dr. Sseus character) is a nocturnal primate found across Southeast Asia that is closely related to a lemur and is characterized by unique fur coloration on its face and body. The creatures are poorly understood due to their lifestyle of nighttime activity and slow movements.
To access its poison, a slow loris rubs its hands under glands near its armpits, then applies the poison to its teeth. The resulting bite can put a person or predator into potentially fatal anaphylactic shock. Despite its toxic defense, the species is threatened due to deforestation and poaching. Sadly, the cuteness of the species may lead to its undoing, making it a prime candidate on the illegal pet-trade market in Asia. Due to the toxicity of its bite, captive animals often have their canine and incisor teeth pulled out, which puts them at risk since they then can’t chew properly, ultimately resulting in death…
– – In Minnesota, a dwindling moose population has prompted the state’s Department of Natural Resources to recommend that the moose be labeled a “species of special concern” under the state’s endangered species protections. This designation could clear the way for the Minnesota moose to eventually be listed as threatened or endangered should the population fall further.
We might expect this to be a cause of concern as well to one Bullwinkle J. Moose, who resides in the fictional small town of Frostbite Falls, Minnesota, a parody of the real-life American town of International Falls, Minnesota. Bullwinkle has trouble enough, after all, being plagued by the nefarious schemes of spies Boris and Natasha Badenov. I’m sure, however, that Bullwinkle and the “plucky squirrel” will prevail against any and all difficulties…
– – Hundreds of Humboldt squid beached themselves this past weekend near Santa Cruz, California. Attempts to save the squid by placing them back into the water were futile; the squid simply swam back onto the shore!
“Twenty washed up right in front of me,” said one onlooker. “It was like they were committing suicide.”
Suicidal squid…wouldn’t that unplug your heating pad?! While we may never know with certainty what drove the squid to this extreme act, some scientists speculate that squid may accidentally beach themselves when they migrate to a new area. As the Humboldt squid is rarely seen in northern California, scientists believe that global warming may play a factor in driving the squid from their normal, equatorial habitat. When squid feed at night, they surface from the depths to explore more shallow areas, possibly getting trapped while feeding, not knowing where to go, and washing up…
– – It’s challenging, but not impossible to be a Halloween-centered person during Xmas season as I am; it’s all a matter of perspective. Many of you have probably seen the classic Campbell’s Xmas commercial when a friendly fir tree gently opens the window of an invitingly warm kitchen, extends a branch through the opening to the delight of a cherubic boy inside, helps itself to some green bean casserole, withdraws with it, and then essentially becomes ablaze with light as the perfect Xmas tree.- -All is calm, all is bright, right?
Those of us who are Halloween-centered prefer other kinds of trees and vegetation, however, of the more malevolent variety…like the carnivorous plant in Little Shop of Horrors, the trees in the enchanted forest of The Wizard of Oz or Poltergeist, or the consuming alien vegetation that Stephen King has crafted in a number of tales. So we need to ask ourselves some questions, and perhaps re-engineer this commercial a bit…
…for example, isn’t the act of a fir tree consuming green bean casserole vaguely cannibalistic? And what if instead of calmly opening the window, the pine tree smashed through it, grabbed the kid by the neck, hauled him screaming outside into a shrieking black storm, and inserted the hapless victim into some kind of unspeakable tree orifice to consume later?
Now you’re thinking the way that I do! I worry about myself, sometimes…but make my vegetation evil and otherworldly, please…buwahahaha!
– – Too often, fish are regarded as dumber than a sack of hammers. This may not be true of all of our finned friends, however. In France, researchers at the University of Toulouse have observed catfish hunting pigeons as prey in a development scientists are calling evidence of adaptive behavior.
European catfish originated east of the Rhine River, but were introduced to the Tarn River in 1983. They adapted their natural behavior to feed on novel prey in the area, grabbing pigeons on the shore, and dragging them into the water; this behavior has not been known to occur in the native range of the species. In France, pigeons gather along the river gravel to clean and bathe as the catfish patrol the water’s edge. When the three to five-feet long catfish hunt the pigeons, they even temporarily strand themselves on land for a few seconds to grab their meal. The hunting habits of the Tarn catfish are so similar to orcas that they have been called, “freshwater killer whales…”
– – It’s time to cue up the Willard movies! While superstorm Sandy killed many rats in New York City, those which survived have been driven from flooded subway tunnels, emerging to find new sources of food that include rotting trash, pigeons, fish, and other rats. Rats will burrow beneath buildings to establish new homes, and can slide into holes as small as half an inch (the width of their skulls), even though their bodies can measure up to 18 inches long. (“Ben, you’re always running here and there…”)
Weep not for the pigeons, either. Originally cliff-dwelling birds, skyscrapers suit pigeons well. When displaced, they tend to find a safe place to get out of the wind, and then fly to new food sources.
Rats and pigeons are successful around humans as they are well-adapted to what we do…“Adapt and prevail,” as the Borg would say…
– – Sadly, even NASA has found it necessary to debunk the reputed end of the world hysteria that some believe is suggested by the Mayan calendar. The Near-Earth Objects Program at NASA has explained away many of the most frequently cited doomsday scenarios for 2012.
One scenario involves an enormous imaginary planet called Nibiru supposedly swinging in from the outer solar system just in time to collide with the Earth in December. With thousands of astronomers scanning the skies on a daily basis, such an object would have been discerned long ago. A true believer might contend that the malevolent rogue planet is invisible. If such were the case, the gravitational effects of the rogue on neighboring planets would be discernible.
Alternative doomsday scenarios involve such things as massive solar flares or planetary alignments. Earth’s magnetosphere shields its inhabitants from solar radiation, although it can damage orbiting satellites. There are no planetary alignments anticipated for December, and even if there were, there would be negligible tidal effects upon the Earth as a result. Additional speculations that the Earth’s axis is going to shift are nullified by the fact that the rotational axis of the Earth is stabilized by the orbit of the moon. While the Earth’s magnetic field does shift every half-million years or so, there is no evidence that a shift, which takes thousands of years, is in the works for December.
As the late great Carl Sagan observed, extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence. Despite hundreds of thousands of predictions for the end of the world since the beginning of human history, we’re still here…
– – With the Xmas season almost upon us and overeating indulgences likely to ensue, it might be worthwhile considering the differences between competitive eating and fad eating. While it’s debatable whether competitive eating is really a sport, there are at least rules and regulations which govern it, and the items consumed tend to actually be conventional foods, such as hot dogs. Fad or event eating in contrast tends to be less structured with at times potentially dangerous consequences to participants; the items consumed, while technically edible, tend not to be commonly found on family dinner tables, such as insects. Other fad or event consumptions have involved normally harmless and indeed vital items, although even water proved fatal to one contestant when consumed to extreme excess over a short time. Fad eating has been spurred in recent years by the advent of reality TV shows, and feed off of the gross-out factor involved. If $100 is offered to someone to eat a worm, there will be takers and those who watch.
Competitive eating has been in existence in America since the early 20th century, with the first ever “Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest” at Coney Island occurring in 1916. Some competitive eaters have won thousands of dollars for stuffing their gullets, sadly in a country where some still go hungry. Items consumed at competitive eating contests have included pies, green beans, cheesecake, chicken wings, hard boiled eggs, lobster tails, oysters, and jalapenos…
– – A prominent veterinarian is contending that Bigfoot exists, and is part human! A five-year DNA study by DNA Diagnostics, a team of scientists in Texas chaired by Dr. Melba S. Ketchum, sequenced purported samples of Bigfoot DNA, finding that mitochondrial DNA, which is maternally inherited, is identical to human mitochondrial DNA. Nuclear DNA samples, containing genetic material from both parents, appeared to involve a “novel, unknown hominin related to Homo sapiens and other primate species.”
Bigfoot may accordingly be a human relative whose origins can be traced to about 15,000 years ago when human females are hypothesized to have mated with males of an unknown primate species, according to the research. On the other hand, the DNA samples may be contaminated, and many questions about the samples remain unanswered. The study has not yet gone through the peer review process, and accordingly has no credibility in the scientific community at present…
FOXSYLVANIA 
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