“Whatcha doin’,” inquires hubby of his wife in this recent NJM Insurance commercial. “Just shopping for new car insurance,” she chirps while on the internet. That’s all it takes, apparently, because then the Mascots come!
A bear is repeatedly ringing the doorbell…a rabbit is knocking on the window…the phone is ringing insistently…windows are popping up on the computer…and a pair of bird legs is struggling to emerge from the fireplace!
“We should have known!,” despairs hubby as he grabs an umbrella to jab at the bird legs, and repel the invader!
Now I, for one, have always wanted to seek out the furry mascot army, and join their hellish crusade, so I would embrace the invaders, and go off with them! Just let me grab my fox fursuit. – -My time would have finally arrived, Ahahahaha! 🦊
(What?! – –You think I’d rather watch the Trump coronation?! Not in this life! 😼 )
(Warning:visual content not suitable for children!)
As classic characters are entering the public domain, they seem to be swiftly given the horror treatment in movies. This happened to Winnie the Pooh (Blood and Honey), and Peter Pan (Neverland Nightmare). Now, sadly, it seems that beloved cartoon character Popeye the Sailor is being given the full Jason Voorhees treatment in the film, Popeye’s Revenge… 🙀
It would seem that counselors looking to explore opening a camp near the ocean are also intrigued to explore the “myth” of Popeye the Sailor and his reputed ghost, only to find that they’ve tapped into far more than they anticipated. This “Popeye” is quite the gory killer, and his preferred instrument of dealing death is, appropriately enough, an anchor…
While a fan of horror, I’m not fully on board with this kind of gore-fest, preferring more of an intelligent or psychologically-themed use of the genre. One hopes that the viewing public would soon get their fill of revised to evil cultural heroes from childhood, but I guess that the cycle must play itself out, or simply become unprofitable.– – That ought to kill the trend off!
Just in case one Popeye horror movie isn’t enough for you, a second one is coming later this year. What else would it be called other than Popeye the Slayer Man!
Spinachmay never be seen the same way again! Is he a monster? As Popeye might say, “I yam what I am!”
(Hey!– maybe I can get a piece of this evil Popeye thing! I’m Foxy…the Sailor Man…Toot-Toot!)
It’s official...coming in July 2025, we will be privy to seeing the first furry superhero on the big screen, discounting such notable characters as Rocket from Guardians of the Galaxy, of course!
When the new James Gunn Superman movie trailer opens, we see The Man of Steel as being terribly vulnerable, in a world of hurt, actually…cut, bleeding, spitting up blood, and actually in dire need of help! Fortunately, Supes has his best friend Krypto available to save his tail, taking the injured superhero from his frozen crash site home by the cape!
Yes, Krypto in the upcoming movie is more than just a cute pet, but rather an underrated powerhouse…and he promises to have significant roles in other upcoming DC movies as well! Thankfully, Krypto will not speak in the movie as he has in some of the animated cartoon versions, but only bark. He’s a dog, but one with formidable powers…
The new Superman movie seeks to further humanize the titular character, making him more relatable. Yes, this Superman is an alien, but his heart is human. He can shoot beams from his eyes, but you don’t have to be afraid of him. The entire tone of the movie is brighter, reflected in the color schemes.Allin all, I think that this is a good course correction…
The ambitious scope and nuances of the upcoming movie are too vast to cover in a single post, so this blog will probably return to it. For now, enjoy the official trailer, and the upcoming holiday, no matter how you may celebrate it…
In a government public service promo, we are taken to a taxidermy shop where I suspect that the proprietor has not quite mastered his art, because the taxidermied animals there look creepy, more like road kill than a recreation of life…
These poor specimens present that vape smoke can contain formaldehyde, the same chemical used to preserve dead animals like themselves…badly! The talking animals banter among themselves, struggling to pronounce the word formaldehyde…
The promo is darkly comic and even disturbing, but conveys a serious message that vaping fumes are not simply harmless water vapor, but can contain toxic and damaging chemicals that will be conveyed to the lungs…and that’s a thought even more unnatural than these badly-preserved animals!
Now this is toxic taxidermy, and I feel sorry for my poor cousins for whom death was not the final insult!
Aww!–It’s Xmas season again! And what could be a better antidote for that than Dean Winters playing an overworked elf!? Doesn’t the above scene look Christmas-y? A coating of snow, seasonal yard decor, and…gasp!– –Santa and his sleigh on the rooftop!
But there’s a rub…the Mayhem dude is playing Santa’s overworked assistant, and he’s ready to call it a night! Mayhem is wearing his suit, but clearly the worse for the wear. There’s soot on his face, maybe some bruises,and his tie is askew…it’s been a long night! Clearly, the elves need to unionize..
But I’ve always disliked elves of the relentlessly-cheerful variety. I like my elves world-weary, and a bit sarcastic, and Winters fits that bill perfectly! He’s already had a hard night, and so when he hands Santa his pack (“here you go, Boss!”), he fumbles, and the gifts go tumbling down the chimney! It gets worse, too, ’cause there a fire burning in the hearth! An expensive Apple laptop impacts and is broken open, and other gifts ignite! If you have ever dropped electronic devices even a short distance much less ignited them, you’ll know that this does not bode well for their functionality. Yuppers, Allstate insurance sure is needed for protection of these electronics, or as as our elf tells us, you’ll be “Ho-ho-SO out of luck!“
I alsolove the fact that Winters apparently has names for the reindeer other than what we are used to, referring to one of them as “Cliffton.” I’d be in favor of re-naming most of the reindeer, giving them relatable names such as Frank, Harry, and Clyde. This reindeer looks somewhat startled by the spectacle that he has just witnessed…
Dean Wintershas given us Xmas elves before, memorably playing The Elf on the Shelf just a few years back. That elf was dressed in traditional elfish attire, and as human-sized, brought the shelf down that he was sitting on due to his weight. “Elf down!- -Elf down!,” he alerted from the floor…
So enjoyDean Winters in this year’s holiday offering…he’s a national treasure, really!
“I’m not a “rainbows and unicorns” kinda guy, but this brief NJM commercial features a well-rendered unicorn in a very Arthurian atmosphere…
When two guys go traipsing through a pristine and dense unspoiled forest talking about the one’s car, ethereal fantasy-type music plays, and a majestic white unicorn appears between some trees! He’s anthropomorphic and so can speak, of course, so he comments that the most magical things about NJM insurance is that they put their customers first. When asked by one of the two guys if he’s a mascot, the unicorn adamantly denies it, and proclaims that he’s just a fan of the insurance. Unicorns, if memory serves, could best be tamed by a virgin…
I guess that we could all use an occasional unicorn in our lives, which beats a pesky insurance salesman any day…
It’s important to realize that many cartoon characters, like ourselves, have backstories. In the 1951 cartoon Let’s Stalk Spinach, we are shown that Popeye came from an impoverishedfamily background (above). We are shown Popeye’s mother, who looked like Popeye himself, complete with a squinty eye, sporting a pipe, and sadly, suffering from the same enlargement of lower arms that was passed on to her son. From seeing the young Popeye in this cartoon wearing shorts (or knickers?), we also learn that Popeye suffered from similar enlargement of his lower legs! Clearly, medical research needs to be done on these conditions…
(Popeye and his mother…Observe the hideous bodily limb deformations!)
Well, we also are shown Popeye’s four nephews, who not only look like miniature versions of himself, but also suffer the apparent genetic abnormalities. Their names are Pip-eye, Pup-eye, Poop-eye, and Peep-eye. Such names seem to me to be uncommonly cruel, as if the physical stigmata weren’t enough…
Well, the sailor-man had prepared lunch for his nephews which consisted of spinach sandwiches. I’m not surprised by this, nor was I surprised that the nephews upon taking a bite of the sandwiches spit them out. One can hardly blame them for this! Popeye then tells the nephews the story of how he discovered the virtues of spinach, which involved confrontation with a giant who easily thrashed Popeye until he was thrown into a giant-sized can of spinach, acquiring super-strength from ingesting it . The tide of battle then predictably turned, and Popeye bested the giant!
So Popeye’s nephews upon hearing the tale then eagerly consumed their sandwiches, and the battered giant makes an appearance at the end to testify to the veracity of Popeye’s story. Giants usually do not come out on top despite their clear advantages of size and strength, and are often depicted as dim-witted. They really deserve better…
A similar revelation I experienced recently is that Yosemite Sam, who might be considered the poster-boy of the gun lobby, had a brother! This brother looks identical to Yosemite Sam, other than the fact that his bushy eyebrows and prodigious mustache are black in color rather than reddish-orange. In the cartoon Along Came Daffy (1947), Yosemite Sam and his brother are bested by Daffy Duck rather than Bugs Bunny, the usual match-up. In his role as a cookbook salesman, however, Daffy proves himself easily up to the job… and speaking of abnormalities, check out Yosemite’s four-fingered hand… 🙀
In the aftermath of the election, we may at least be glad that our parents didn’t name us, Poop-eye… 😸
It’s Election Day at last in America, and I’m sure that many of us are disgusted, exhausted, and burnt-out by the carnival sh*t-show that we’ve been forced to painfully endure for too many months.I really thought that we had put this to rest with the 2020 election, but no, it’s simmered for four years, and here we are again at a crossroads for the country…
So once more into the fray, dear friends, once more…let’s do this…you get it…let’s take out the garbage, the nightmares of neo-fascism…if you haven’t already done so, VOTE!
…and just think…if we elect the first female president, imagine having someday the first furry president…I’d vote for him (or her)!
Posted November 2, 2024 by vulpesffb Categories:furry
Alright, Halloween is sadly over, and I’m in mourning over that fact…so what better time to celebrate The Day of the Dead (El Dia De Los Muertos)! It’s more closely tied to Catholicism than Halloween, anyways… 💀 Now can someone get those kids off my back?!
So cue up your George Romero movies, everyone, and let’s have a drop-dead time! Just always remember to aim for the brain with the walkers… 🙀
Hello, Boils and Ghouls, and welcome to this special Halloween Edition of Foxsylvania! Halloween is special to me, always has been and always will be. It’s an occasion relatively free of suffocating family obligations and not awash in commercialism, a time of imagination and dipping into the dark corners of our psyche…here there be dragons!So gather ’round, kiddies, and let your Uncle Vulpes bring you items to thrill, chill, and amaze you…(well, maybe, just a little!) This is what we mean by, Cheap Thrills…
That’s it…come closer as I begin to be fired up, and my true form I share with you! For I am both man and beast, substance and shadow, flame and air…that’s really what a firefox is! I am fox, I am feral, and I am DANGEROUS!(Cue up that Michael Jackson number, please…)
(Firefoxdancing with dark animal spirits to Dangerous…)
Brief, all too brief is All Hallow’s Eve when we can take off the masks that society makes us wear to please others. Join me in this dark dance of kindred furry spirits! It is a fine kind of madness that we enjoy as we gyrate and spin faster and faster, until the dancers become the dance!
But no…soon, all too soon, the cock crows, heralding the approach of dawn, and I am drawn away by irresistible energies to another dimension to walk in boring human flesh until the calendar passes another dreary year and blessed Samhain arrives again…Best Witches, everyone, Ahahahaha!
FOXSYLVANIA 
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