Hail, Halloween!

Posted October 31, 2022 by vulpesffb
Categories: alternative realities, furry, furry perspectives
Tags: ,

Awash in Halloween here, and even though I haven’t worn a costume other than my partial fursuit in decades, I still as an adult get excited about Halloween. Now there are those who are already putting up Xmas decorations, but I feel that they should be taken out and maimed…we predators can do that!

Ahh, who can forget the giddy delight of slapping on a cheap store-bought Ben Cooper Halloween costume, and staggering half-blind around your neighborhood in the cold and dark to extort candy from the neighbors? The above leopard model was my last true Halloween costume, kind of a gateway to the furry fandom. I think that another kid just about pulled my leopard tail off, too. Are you not terrified of me?- -RAWR! Fear the cheesy leopard!

Nowadays, I have much better options to wear.- – Err, mask?- – WHAT mask?! I kinda look more like a werefox in this photo, but you know how unruly your fur can be when you first get up in the morning, right? Gotta do some grooming, plus drink that all-important cup of coffee before I scare small children by my appearance. But to you, good readers, I show my true self…

So blessed Halloween, come! I’m much more comfortable in your world than in mine, anyways…and everyday can be Halloween, if you truly believe! 🦊

Comments: 3 Comments

Amazon’s “Red Riding Hood” Ad…

Posted October 28, 2022 by vulpesffb
Categories: advertising, Brilliant but twisted, commercials, fantasy, furry, furry commercials, television
Tags:

We seem to be posting a lot about wolves lately, but hey, Halloween is coming, and we gotta run with the pack, so to speak. So much has been written about Little Red Riding Hood that it’s practically a cottage industry, which may be appropriate since Grandma kinda lived in a cottage, don’t ‘ya know?

Well, Little Red here might be little, but she’s kinda hawt as well, and she sure ain’t no fool…no Big Bad Wolf is gonna pull one over on her. Going through those creepy old woods to Grandma’s house, this Little Red (Mikayla Roberts) fears no evil. So when she reaches Grandma’s house, she whips out her cell phone and places an Amazon order, which miraculously arrives almost instantaneously in time for deployment.

The Big Bad Wolf arrives, too…a magnificent, snarling version in white. But when Red deploys the dog toy that she has purchased, Wolfie becomes a good boy, jumping and playing with the toy in total delight! We’ve seen a similar transformation in such films as The Bad Guys, when Mr. Wolf just can’t help wagging his tail when called a good boy. There’s no such thing as a bad boy, really, right?

The actress playing Grandma isn’t exactly an elderly, bedridden-cripple either, but looks to be a pretty hip and vital lady. Well-played update on an old timeless classic, Amazon!

(tip o’ the pen to carycomic…)

Comments: 5 Comments

“The Real Cost” TV Spot, “Straw City”

Posted October 25, 2022 by vulpesffb
Categories: advertising, alternative realities, animals, anthropomorphic, commercials, furry
Tags: ,

The Big Bad Wolf continues to find new life in fresh incarnations, and this minute-long anti-smoking promo, while five years old, may have passed most of us by, and so bears visitation…

The Wolf here is kind of a pathetic figure, living a solitary existence is an apartment with a bare refrigerator. Seeking food, he gets in in his car, guided by his GPS, and goes to Straw City, which is populated by…surprise, pigs!

Now the Wolf used to be a seriously bad dude, you can tell by his leather jacket…but alas, years of smoking have so depleted his lung power that he now is incapable of blowing down their straw dwellings. Initially afraid, the pigs now look at him with a mixture of wonder and almost pity. Old Big Bad ain’t so bad anymore. One pig is so unconcerned that they walk past the Wolf while wearing headphones….

It’s too late for this Wolfie. He extracts a pack of cigarettes as he walks away, self-defeated. So toss the cigarettes…they ain’t no good for you! We preds have to keep our game up, ‘ya know… 🦊

https://youtu.be/9FKaJTV-0T0

Comments: 3 Comments

Fluzone TV Spot: The Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing…

Posted October 21, 2022 by vulpesffb
Categories: advertising, animal presence, anthropomorphic, commercials, furry, furry commercials, television
Tags: ,

In a Sandofi commercial for Fluzone, the disease is personified as a ravenous wolf stalking people in various settings with ill intent. The notion of “the wolf at the door” is historically a longstanding one often used to represent all kinds of hardships and deprivation, from war to famine to disease.

The attempted predations of the realistic and sizeable wolf depicted here are repeatedly frustrated in this commercial by the simple fact that his intended victims have been immunized. Eventually he becomes a wolf on the run, rendered impotent by the simple fact that the people he surveys and passes have been protected…

And so we finally see our wolf retreating to the extent that he’s looking out the rear window of a bus. I don’t know what fare he was charged, but think that being immunized is a good idea lest you be visited and victimized by the flu wolf…

I’ve had my vaccine this year…have you?

Comments: 6 Comments

“The Munsters;” Brittle Bones?

Posted October 2, 2022 by vulpesffb
Categories: absurdities, art imitating life, furry, furry horror, horror, movies, retro cool, television, Vintage
Tags: ,

With October and spooky season here, it’s great to get into a Halloween-related post or two. I have to admit, however, that I was never a great fan of the 1960’s TV sitcom The Munsters, far preferring The Addams Family, which not only survived but thrived in its transition to movies, and brought us Wednesday Addams as a breakout character.

Now Rob Zombie absolutely loved The Munsters, and his film is a labor of love to them, described as a prequel that brings the characters of Herman and Lily together. Herman, a Frankenstein monster clone, is sewn together from body parts that include those of a bad comedian. Lily, a vampire, becomes romantically involved with the big guy much to the dismay of her vampiric father. This all becomes tiresome rather quickly, and the film is criticized as being overly-long and thin on plot.

Endeavoring to make a family-friendly horror movie is a difficult mission, and it tends to ultimately become more irksome than successful. The genres are not readily compatible, and the bright colors used in much of the film are hardly gothic. Filmmaker Rob Zombie is best known for far gorier cinematic fare, and he is rather out of his element here, even if he does love The Munsters. The characters here are all fish out of water, masquerading as everyday citizens whereas they are in reality stock-monster types. This plays better as a brief TV sitcom than it does as an extended movie where it gets wearisome.

From a furry perspective, I do like Lilly’s brother, Lester the Werewolf, portrayed here as an entrepreneurial werewolf who confidently makes really bad business decisions. Lester’s recessive genes are why Eddie Munster is a werewolf rather than a vampire or Frankenstein clone…

At any rate, diehard loyalists may find The Munsters a treat, whereas to many of us the movie is a pointless ordeal. Sometimes, dead television should be allowed to rest in peace…

Comments: 3 Comments

National Comic Book Day!

Posted September 25, 2022 by vulpesffb
Categories: alternative realities, comics, fantasy, furry, twisted reality
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I would be remiss if I failed to remind you that September 25th is National Comic Book Day! ‘Fess up now…how many of you grew up lingering over the pages of a comic book, and fantasizing about how great your life would be if you had a superpower…like, any one of them!

I had the rare kind of father who would actually bring me home a comic book or Mad Magazine occasionally when he came home from the store with the Sunday paper. It wasn’t just any comic book, either. Nope, it had to be a superhero one! My early years were spent paging through DC comics icons like Superman and The Green Lantern. Later, I would learn of the backstories of more obscure comic heroes like The Phantom and even Mandrake the Magician! “The Phantom is rough on roughnecks,” old jungle saying…

This led me down the rabbit hole in adulthood of discovering even more notable precursors such as The Shadow. When special effects reached a level where superhero movies were better than laughable, we were really off to the races with DC and Marvel characters, some more memorable than others, and renewing or finding new fan bases in the adult population…

And it all started with comic books, so remember this holy day. And I still have my Green Lantern ring, folks, two actually. If only the darn things worked, if only! Well, hope springs eternal, so they say…gotta keep trying! “In brightest day, in blackest night…”

Comments: 5 Comments

“I’m Looking at a Werewolf,” from Terror in the Woods

Posted September 9, 2022 by vulpesffb
Categories: anomalies, anthropomorphic, cryptozoology, furry, horror, legends and folklore, paranormal, speculation, unexplained
Tags: ,

Terror in the Woods isn’t a bad show, although it’s largely for entertainment value, with documentation sparse and scientific rigor non-existent. The episodes vary from ho-hum to compelling, and if you select the episodes of your viewing carefully, you may find them worthwhile and even compelling to watch…

Season 3, Episode 3 of the series first aired in September 2021, and it’s hard to resist the luring title of one segment, “I’m looking at a (bleeping) werewolf, and it’s trying to kill me!” Well, it turns out that the werewolf in question is kind of the Louisiana bayou variety, which stands about 7′ to 8′ tall, and has larger-than-human-like features with a wolf-like head. Known as a Rougarou, such shape-shifting creatures appear human if sickly in the daytime, reverting to a werewolf form at night with a thirst for blood. ..

Now there are as many ways to become a Rougarou as there are ways to spell it, with methods involving the classic bite to a witch’s spell. The cultural background of the creature is rich and diverse, originating from tales told by French Canadians in Louisiana to keep their kids in line, and out of the woods at night! – – Gotta keep the little buggers scared to get them compliant, ‘ya know!

While Rougarou have some commonalities with both vampires and traditional werewolves, they differ as well. They’re unbothered by silver bullets or religious artifacts, and to kill one usually requires decapitation and preferably burning or severe mutilation of the body.

In the series episode, a young guy hits on a strangely feral girl at the clothing store where he works, booking a date with her that evening. The hours pass but the girl never appears at the appointed site, so the guy plays basketball with other guys at the site for four hours before leaving with them at midnight when the court automatic lights go off. Hearing an unnatural noise behind them, the guys perceive something threatening and inhuman, and attempt to run away. One slips and falls, and the creature is upon him. Seeking to save their comrade, one of the others pulls a .38 from his pack and fires at the beast, because this is ‘Merica, after all! The presumed Rougarou is driven off but not killed, and the narrator of the tale suffers from nightmares thereafter…

So if you’re Louisiana-bound, enjoy some cool jazz and hot Cajun cookin’…but beware of the Rougarou, especially if you unknowingly arrange a date with one!

Comments: 4 Comments

Pee-wee Herman Turns 70!

Posted September 1, 2022 by vulpesffb
Categories: furry

You tend to either love or hate Paul Reubens as his character Pee-wee Herman, and I have to confess being a fan. His character is a man-child, and falls into that category of people you might call cheerfully demented. Pee-wee is to me an amalgamation of all of the strange kiddy show hosts that I grew up watching, being drawn into their world, and accepting their twisted reality.

Pee–wee’s Playhouse ran for several years in the 1980’s, and was always a refreshing departure from reality. With his too-small gray suit, red bow tie, and white shoes, Pee-wee helped us navigate his twisted, surreal world of anthropomorphic chairs, pterodactyls, and iconic sidekick stereotypes such as Cowboy Curtis, Captain Carl (a grizzled sea captain), and Miss Yvonne, The Most Beautiful Woman in Puppetland. “We’re all mad here,” as the Cheshire Cat might say...

Paul Reubens is not just a one-trick pony. He has played a number of other roles, including a cameo as a waiter in The Blues Brothers, “The Spleen”in the movie Mystery Men, and the father of Batman villain The Penguin (above). He is scarcely recognizable in the latter role…

As The Spleen (above) in Mystery Men, Paul Reubens’ character had the superpower of, err…powerful flatulence, sufficient to render people unconscious…

So happy 70th birthday, Paul Reubens! And when you hear the Magic Word for the day, remember as Pee-wee reminds us, to scream real loud! 🙀

Comments: 6 Comments

Paws of Fury: The Legend of Hank

Posted July 22, 2022 by vulpesffb
Categories: alternative realities, anthropomorphic, fantasy, furries, furry, furry heroes, furry movies
Tags:

The furries of summer are here! Originally conceived as an animated sequel to 1974’s Blazing Saddles comedy, Paws of Fury: The Legend of Hank took a long time coming to fruition, and was originally planned with the less cumbersome title of Blazing Samurai. At last we have our Wild West saga with a Japanese tilt that retains the legacy of Mel Brooks, who even voices the character of the Shogun!

Now if you’ve seen Westerns (or “Easterns’), there’s a little bit of many things you’ve seen before here, with elements drawn and blended from Kung Fu Panda, The Karate Kid, The Magnificent Seven, and Zootopia. An evil cat warlord (voiced by Ricky Gervais) seeking to destroy a town of cats sends an inept canine (Michael Cera) to be their defender, knowing full well that cats and dogs tend not to get along, and anticipating to sow internal chaos and destruction. Canine Hank, however, truly aspires to be a samurai, and finds a trainer and mentor in the unwilling, grumpy person (furson?) of Samuel L. Jackson’s character. Overcoming feline xenophobia against dogs, the aspiring canine samurai gradually acquires their acceptance and cooperation while developing his own skills, and the rest is history…

Paws of Fury is already playing in theaters, and I may borrow a kid as an excuse to go see it….

Comments: 16 Comments

Liberty Mutual’s “Tools” Commercial…

Posted July 17, 2022 by vulpesffb
Categories: absurdities, advertising, alternative realities, animal presence, animal spokepersons, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, commercials, feathered friends, furry, furry commercials, television
Tags:

I’ve never had an emu work on my vehicle, but I could argue that some gorillas have. We’ve all been at the mercy of garages and mechanics. Even the venerable Plymouth Duster chariot used by the dynamic duo of Doug and the LiMu Emu occasionally needs work, and in the Liberty Mutual “Tools” commercial, we are taken inside a garage housing a Bat Cave’s worth of assorted vehicles, all the brand’s trademark “banana yellow” color. I mean, there’s a motorcycle, some kind of utility vehicle, and even Skidoo-type things…

Doug is hard at work beneath the chassis of his Duster, but is he up to the job? – – Nope, and neither is the Emu, who hilariously brings his human partner the wrong tool specified for each step of the job. When asked for a socket wrench, the Emu brings a hammer. When a blowtorch is requested, LiMu deposits a stuffed animal into Doug’s hand…

At the end of his efforts, Doug somehow manages to extract what appears to be a distributor from the bottom of the vehicle! “LiMu,call a mechanic” are Doug’s closing words. Clearly one is needed to prevent this Duster from entering the dustbin…

The LiMu Emu and Doug are best buddies who dress identically, and have a long-standing history, the details of which we someday may learn…or perhaps it’s best not to ask!

Comments: 3 Comments

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