Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ category

Lizard Demon of Wood County…

May 29, 2014

 

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The lizard demon in question is a reptile-human hybrid featured in S1/Ep06 of Mountain Monsters who is bipedal, water-based, has gills, three toes, and a triple eyelid.  Yet another cryptid indigenous to West Virginia, he has also been seen in Kentucky, with sightings reported going back to the early 1900’s.  Standing about seven feet tall and weighing in at 300 to 400 pounds, the lizard demon travels up the Ohio River using it to move closer to farm ponds, eats cows and similar livestock, and has even been reported to chase cars!  Similar “lizard men” have been profiled on other paranormal shows.

The AIMS crew first interviewed an eyewitness called “JayBob” who reported seeing something about 7′ tall of dark green coloration that moved quickly.  He produced a trail camera photo that showed a side image of something that appeared scaly.  In their first night’s investigation, the West Virginian investigators saw a track made by something large and heavy.  Part of the team while investigating a cave saw movement above the cave which caused rock to become dislodged and fall.

A large snap door trap was then built by the next day, and baited with chicken.  A second eyewitness, a farmer named Mark, reported seeing a large scaly humanoid, later finding a triangular print.  A third eyewitness, an auctioneer called Bob, reported seeing an upright green creature with a lizard-type head.  He also saw a dead cow in the river with a chunk taken out of it, and movement was discerned although the creature disappeared in seconds.

On the second night and time of the final hunt, the team tried to flush the creature towards their trap by both land and water, finding a track almost a foot long on the land and the rib cage of some consumed animal in the water.  They supposedly spotted red eyes ahead in the water, shortly after seeing thermal images by a farmer’s barn.  A nest of sorts was found in the upper loft of that barn, and thermal imagery taken from the barn then showed something going into the creek.  Pursuing that amid the usual confusion and bad camera angles, noise was heard in the vicinity of the trap, which caused the team to pursue there and fire numerous rounds at something they felt they had heard in the water; so much for capturing it alive.  Predictably, nothing was hit…

…neither had their trap been sprung.  Trying to put a positive spin on things, the investigators claimed that they had scared the Lizard Demon off; macho posturing rules!  One can imagine the creature shaking in his green scaled boots over his narrow escape…

 

Mountain Monsters: “Uncaged”…

May 17, 2014

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Those who tuned in to Destination America’s “Mountain Monsters: Uncaged” show expecting a new episode instead got a repackaged and reheated old episode with so-called “bonus footage,” “insider facts,” “Behind the Scenes Secrets,” producer interviews with cast members, and on-screen written commentary as old footage rolled. The episode so rehashed was the “Kentucky Hellhound of Pike County” installment that we’ve commentated previously on in April, and reference is made to that posting should the reader desire information on it.

We’ve seen this kind of trick pulled before where old material is paired with some augmentation and commentary, and pushed back on viewers as a “special edition” or something similar.  In “Behind the Hunt” conversations, the show’s executive producer interviewed cast members, who were seated as a group in a cozy-looking hunting lodge setting that was complete with a bearskin rug on the floor. These conversations yielded such gems as team leader Trapper saying in reference to the Hellhound, “We kinda put fear in that creature’s heart.”  

To me, what was touted as an “enhanced episode” showed little actual enhancement, except for perhaps die-hard fans.  It was perhaps appropriate to refer to the show as “Uncaged,” however, since these guys haven’t been able to cage and maintain captivity of anything unknown so far…

 

The Wampus Beast…

May 14, 2014

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The Wampus Beast sounds almost made-up; if memory serves, there was even an early video game called, “Hunt the Wampus.”  The Wampus Beast in question, however, is a massive feline about five to six feet long that weighs in at five to six hundred pounds. The big cat is muscular, has eyes that are fiery in appearance, and has excellent night vision.  The pursuit of said beast became personal for the Mountain Monsters crew because their trap builder, Willy, had suffered the loss of pigs to the creature in Pleasants County, West Virginia.  Willy had also reportedly seen the Wampus Cat at the age of nine, the memory lingering with him since. 

On their first night’s hunt, the AIMS crew found scratch marks and urine high on a tree.  Team member Willy left the hunt convinced that his pigs were in danger, and sure enough three young pigs were taken and later found slaughtered.  In kind of a neighborhood interview, Nettie, a bus driver, described having a huge black beast jump in front of her vehicle on the road.  Fred, a handyman, described feeling a sensation of being watched.  A dark video supposedly showing the big cat was submitted by a cattle farmer, Nolan, who had reportedly lost cattle to the creature.

It then became “Hunt the Wampus” time! 

On their final hunt, the team found skeletal carcasses and clawed trees.  They used an animal distress call in an effort to lure the beast, and heard a growl in response.  Cows on Nolan’s farm were spooked.  A snare trap had earlier been constructed, and returning to it the team found that it had been sprung and shredded.  Large tracks were found in the immediate area.  Team leader Trapper, his group again defeated, commented of the Wampus that “I underestimated his strength.”  I guess it’s hard to keep a good big cat down…so until all this is sorted out, keep your pigs safe, hold them close, and tell them what they mean to you! Tomorrow, it may be too late…

Sheepsquatch of Boone County…

May 10, 2014

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The latest episode of Mountain Monsters (S2/Ep06) proved that it continues to be a wild and wooly show with the pursuit of a Sheepsquatch in Boone County, West Virginia.  The Sheepsquatch has been profiled on a number of other paranormal shows, and is kind of a hybrid creature with goat, sheep, and possum characteristics.  It reportedly has wool-like fur, ram-type horns, claws, weighs in excess of 600 lbs., and stands about seven feet in height.  First spotted by coal miners in the 1800’s, the Sheepsquatch seems to be enjoying a rash of recent sightings and notoriety.

The AIMS team first interviewed “Mason,” a deer hunter who saw something about seven feet tall with a musky smell and dirty white color that made growling or screeching noises, and was apparently trying to get at deer feeders that he had set in the area.  In that vicinity, the investigators also found claw marks high on a tree.

During the first night’s investigation which followed, team researcher Jeff saw thermal images ahead of something on a tree which seemed to be beating its head against another tree.  Finding that tree’s location, team leader “Trapper” saw urine on the tree, and unwisely got so close to the urine source that in a moment of horror or low comedy, the caustic urine dripped into his face, blinding him temporarily and causing painful discomfort.  Knowing when they had been beat, the team retreated with their disabled leader at that point, Round One clearly going to Sheepsquatch!

The next day, “expert tracker” Wild Bill managed to get lost finding the trap construction site, arriving three hours late despite being provided with directions and a map…this was a funny episode!  A razor-wire trap 10′ tall was constructed while other team members interviewed “Rocky,” a deer hunter whose trail cameras had captured a partial image of something wooly with horns.  Rocky also had a container of supposed Sheepsquatch scat (feces), from which it was determined that the producer was omnivorous. Last interviewed was “David,” a craftsman who heard a roar like a jungle cat, and took a video showing something large coming up behind a pile of logs, which were splintered. 

On the final night’s hunt, the team split into two groups and tried to flush the creature up a deer trail area it frequented to their trap.  Fresh tracks and hot spots were found on the ground, together with claw marks on a tree.  A roar was heard, and eyes it was felt were seen about 60 yards ahead.  They tried to pursue the beast on foot, but it easily outdistanced them.  Taking to two ATV’s to even the odds, they pursued at high speeds on the rough and darkened terrain.  One ATV impacted with something that broke the windshield and stopped the vehicle’s progression.  The interpretation given was that Sheepsquatch had decided to turn and fight, with a circular hole in the ruined windshield felt to have been made by one of the beast’s horns.  The other ATV stopped to check on their comrades and continued the pursuit on foot, but Sheepsquatch or whatever was long gone…

…so you might say that the AIMS team was mauled by mutton, ahahahaha! 

 

Werewolf of Wolfe County…

May 8, 2014

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Recently I watched a marathon of Destination America shows, emerging with only a few brain cells intact but catching the original Mountain Monsters show, S1/Ep01 originally airing in 2013.  In it we see the AIMS team uniting for the first time, that standing for the Appalachian Investigators of Mysterious Sightings.  The “West Virginian Sons” go in pursuit of the Werewolf of Wolfe County, Kentucky, a bipedal cryptid canine described as being a cross between a bear and a gorilla, standing about 7′ high and weighing around 400 pounds.

Deviating little from their habitual formula, the bearded investigators first interviewed an eyewitness described only as “R,” a marksman who described seeing a large, dark-colored wolf in a wooded area.  On their first night’s investigation, the AIMS team saw claw marks on an overhang, and found a large bone pile or kill site.  “The SOB is a mountain monster, and we’re on his ass!,”  pronounced the team leader.  

A drop-cage trap was constructed out of salvaged junk yard metal, and a second eyewitness, “Turtleman,” was interviewed.  This survival specialist described seeing a wolf-like creature who walked on two legs, and presented a video of a black, hulking creature seen in the distance.  A third eyewitness, a hunter-trapper called “Jasper,” reported hearing the howl of a creature, and saw a large unfamiliar track that he photographed.

Well, the trap was baited with a poor goat called “Daisy,” and the team found additional tracks indicating that whatever made them had a 6′ stride.  On the final night’s hunt, the group split into two, with one contingent finding what appeared to be a lair, where movement was seen and fur.  Thinking that multiple werewolves were involved, team members heard a rather haunting howl, and saw movement on their thermal camera.  They went to their ATV’s and headed to their trap, finding that it was unsprung and that Daisy the goat was safe and well.  Tracks found on the site indicated that the werewolf had circled the area, with a camera left on the site giving some partial images of something having passed the camera’s lens and perturbing the goat.  It was concluded that the trap’s trigger had been set the wrong way, and as for the werewolf, “He plumb out-smarted us,” in the memorable words of one team member.

Little has changed in the episodes which have since followed, but this is how it all began! I only wish that Daisy the goat had been continued as an on-going character, however…she seems to embody the spirit of the series…

 

“Sheepsquatch”

April 30, 2013

sheepsquatch– – Mysterious shadows, screams in the night, hairy hominids, and a hair-raising sense that something is watching me…these are a few of my favorite things!  Few cryptic creatures are as laughably strange, however, as is the Sheepsquatch, a crossover between mutton and man reported throughout West Virginia and in the southwestern region of Virginia. 

Also known as “the white thing,” Sheepsquatch is described as a goat-faced, ram-horned Bigfoot clone that’s about the size of a bear with completely white, wool-like fur.  The head is long and pointed like a dog’s, sporting long saber-like teeth.  The creature has horns like those of a young goat, which some observers have mistaken for a second set of eyes.  Curiously, the front limbs of Sheepsquatch are reported to end in paw-like hands, similar to those of a raccoon but larger.  Bringing up the rear is a long and hairless tail.  As a topper, this “sheep that’s gone savage” is reported to smell like sulfur!  No wonder it’s elusive…

Chupacabra or Coyote with Mange?

December 30, 2010

– – Once again a farmer, this time in Kentucky, has shot a hideous, otherworldly-looking creature, raising speculation that it was the chupacabra, the legendary livestock killer.

Researchers and wildlife experts tend to think that this and similar creatures are most likely coyotes, raccoons, or opossums with mange, however.  Infection by tiny parasites or mites causes the infection in such cases, which results in the animal’s hair falling out and their skin becoming shriveled.

DNA testing by the Kentucky Department of Fish and Wildlife Resources is expected to solve the mystery of the pictured animal’s true identity…

The Kalanoro on “Destination Truth”

October 22, 2010

– – Madagascar is a kind of lost world that is home to a variety of unusual wildlife.  One primate-like cryptid reputed to live there is the Kalanoro, a small humanoid creature that is supposed to be yet strong enough to kill and maim;  it has been described as a “little man” less than a meter tall with hair all over its body and long potentially dangerous fingernails.   The subject of one investigation on a recent Destination Truth episode, Josh Gates and his team go into the dense jungle in Madagascar in search of the Kalanoro.   Seemingly credible witnesses there believe in the creature, including a park guide who says he was grabbed by one and Dr. Goodman of the Chicago Museum of Natural History.

They get a hit on a thermal imager and something on an IR camera, but are unable to track down the anomalies.  Footprints are also found in the soggy terrain that are too wet and deteriorated to allow for a casting to be made.   A hodgepodge of sounds are also heard from many of the animals that live in the area.

During later analysis, it was felt that the thermal hit and the IR image were the size and shape of a lemur, which a local zookeeper feels is one of the animals that the Kalanoro could easily be mistaken for.   The multiple animal noises prevalent in the area are felt to give rumors of the reported creature a larger than life reputation…

Thanksgiving Misconceptions…

November 26, 2008

thanksgiving–As with many things, we tend to have romanticized and misconstructed how the original Thanksgiving really was.  Because we enjoy the availability of a wide range of foods year-round, we present the pilgrims as having had a soup-to-nuts feast as well.  In reality, that original feast was meat-based, and was comprised largely of wild fowl and venison, with those items provided largely through the courtesy of Chief Massasoit and his Wampanoag Indians.  Indian corn was one of the few available vegetables, and the meal probably didn’t even include sweets…those were real luxuries.  So the image of Pilgrim boys and girls playing with their mashed potatoes while waiting for their non-existent desserts was generated largely by greeting card companies and hopeless romantics.  The original Thanksgiving wasn’t either the love fest suggested by popular contemporary images; the tension between the Pilgrims and Native Americans was significant, and peace was fragile.

Nor did the Pilgrims use forks.  They ate with spoons, knives, and fingers.  Food was not passed around; rather, everyone ate what was nearest to him.  Unlike the Pilgrims, the Indians came and went during the meal, often standing and using only a knife.  During the original Thanksgiving of 1621, Chief Massasoit even sent some of his braves out to harvest a few more wild fowl to supplement the feast.  This was possibly the earliest known version of sending out for dinner in America!

Pilgrims, too, have been romanticized.  In reality, their table was always set for the benefit of the most important persons there, who got the best and first servings of food.  Lesser persons (servants and children) helped cook and serve, and then ate the leavings while sitting at the foot of the table!  This was not a society of equals, or one in which children were heavily indulged.

Don’t get me wrong…I really like Thanksgiving, if for no other reason than the fact that it is devoid of the heavily commercial trappings of Christmas.  But like Xmas, Thanksgiving has in the popular mind been transformed into something rather remote from the original circumstances…

Monster Hogs!

May 29, 2008

— I found the season premier of Monster Quest rather disappointing. It was about monster hogs, giant pigs supposedly a growing problem in certain southern states like Texas. Investigative techniques were used like attaching a camera to a wild pig and releasing it in the hopes that it would lead to these giant pigs…that’s right, a hog cam! Despite amusing close-ups of pig bristles and bouncing countryside, no giant hogs were found.

And what about the people who investigate and capture wild hogs, the so-called hog wranglers? Would you like a job like that, or would you eventually get boared?

(This blogger not responsible for mental anguish caused by atrocious puns…)