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Huckleberry’s Predator…

May 16, 2017

Skipping now the “Superfan” episode of the previous week which basically served to recycle old material, S5/Ep5 of Mountain Monsters picked up with Jeff and Trapper being found in a barn by the rest of the AIMS team.  It turned out that Jeff was basically working as a double agent, working with “Harry and Stinky” of the other team to gather information.  Jeff advised his team mates to download video from a tripped trail camera, which they did only to find it password protected.  Jeff later supplied the password , and the video revealed an image of…the Black Wolf!

At a night meeting with Jeff, Buck was told that “something big” would be going on by a high rock wall.  Buck became lost in the woods, sending the rest of his teammates by phone to the designated location. Willy and Wild Bill rappelled down the wall in order to listen, with Willy managing to steal a radio of the other team to facilitate this process.  On the radio, it was heard that Jeff was down and bleeding. Fearing that he was gunshot, Willy and Wild Bill hastened to that location, finding Jeff down with one of his gradually-worsening nose bleeds.  Meanwhile still lost in the woods, Buck heard the laughter of the “Woman in the Woods,” wandering off in a daze for ninety minutes before being located by his cameraman.

Meanwhile Huckleberry shared his impression of being stalked by a creature in the woods, following it back to their base camp cabin.  He entered the cabin alone, and was later found there in a bloodied condition by his now-reunited team mates.  “It knows we’re here,” remarked Huckleberry at the end of the episode, which will be continued next week in this endlessly drawn-out saga…

Categories: animals, anomalies, anthropomorphic, cryptozoology, television, unexplained
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The “Black Wolf” Mountain Monster Saga Continues…

May 3, 2017

 

 

The Black Wolf, according to the visitor to the AIMS base camp in the previous episode, has been around for 200 years, and is the spirit of a Shawnee shaman who takes their spirits to the afterlife, kind of like a Grim Reaper.  As Jeff is apparently at least part Shawnee, it was speculated that the Black Wolf was some kind of legendary spiritual entity there to collect Jeff.  Once again, the Black Wolf was not revealed in S5/Ep4, but only more complications and plot twists.

Going out at night close to the base camp, the team found a scent post and claw marks on a tree.  They later found another tree construction (a medicine circle) with a dead black rabbit in the center of it.  The next day, Willy and Wild Bill constructed a maze trap with multiple snares within it to capture the Black Wolf.  A paw print was found in the woods that seemed to suggest an animal presence.

Meanwhile, Buck and Huckleberry went to meet Jeff in the woods, finding him standoffish.  A scuffle ensued over Jeff’s phone, which he originally claimed was turned off and had no reception in the woods, but which rang nonetheless during the encounter.  Following a scuffle over who he was talking to, Jeff stormed off.  Pursued, his nose was found to be streaming blood although no blows had been landed. 

The rest of the team decided to stake out the farmhouse where Jeff was staying that night, observing him to leave in a truck with two people.  They pursued the truck at a distance, eventually finding Jeff at the previously discovered medicine circle, which had been lit on fire together with the ill-fated deceased rabbit.  When Jeff and his companions had left, a trip wire was triggered to draw then back.  Jeff alone returned in the truck and walked around the vicinity of the trip wire while shadowed by Buck.  When Jeff doubled back it appeared that Buck would be discovered, a fate he avoided by hiding in the bed of the very pickup truck that Jeff was driving.  This truck with Buck as cargo then drove off, but was pursued by the rest of the team until it stopped by an old barn.  Deciding to venture within the barn, they discovered Jeff with team leader Trapper within, and the others wondering what was going on. – – Such high tension! –Can you stand the suspense?

This ended the episode, which again failed to reveal either the Black Wolf or the Woman of the Woods.  One hopes that this tiresome tangent of a tale isn’t dragged on too much longer…

Categories: animal elements, animal occurrences, animals, anomalies, controversial, cryptozoology, television, unexplained
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Mountain Monsters: Secrets of the Dark Forest

April 26, 2017

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There’s a lot of repetition and drawing out of story lines in this bargain basement reality show, and if you were hoping to see “the Black Wolf” or “The Woman of the Woods” in this episode, you were likely to be disappointed…

Team researcher Jeff had been acting vaguely as if possessed recently, showing the others a video with a creepy voice recording, and relating how he had awoken in the Dark Forest alone with his clothes beside him.  The team in response followed GPS coordinates to the Dark Forest in Lee County, Virginia.  There they found Bigfoot signs such as broken branches, and ran across a reticent man they questioned who denied knowledge of anything but advised them not to go into the woods.  Of course they did (at night, no less), finding a deer head hung in the woods and perceiving something to run past them.  At that point, Jeff inexplicably got a nosebleed, and the evening’s festivities were called off.

Meanwhile, team members Willy and Wild Bill had been building a base camp shelter.  In the daytime, the team heard a high-pitched squeal, and pursuing it found what appeared to be wolf tracks by a river.  A tree-structure sign marker (pictured) was found near their camp, with Jeff later collapsing and being termed a security risk by team security member Huckleberry.  

Looking in the woods for additional marker-type signs, the team found sharpened branches and multiple trip lines.  Headlights were seen, causing the team to hunker down, at which point Jeff wigged out further, running off and leading them on a merry chase.  They found him in a trance-like state being pointed at by a small girl, who then conveniently ran off.  Jeff became combative when they tried to bring him around, but eventually came to himself.  Another strange noise was heard, and the team headed back to their base camp, finding someone sitting there who said that the noise they had heard was the Black Wolf.  The episode ended on this note, presumably with more to follow on the big bad wolf in the upcoming installment…

Categories: animal elements, anomalies, controversial, creature features, cryptozoology, paranormal, television, unexplained

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The Rogue Team Rises: Part 2

April 18, 2017

As Part 1 of the confusing and muddied Rogue Team episode ended, team members Buck, Huck, and Jeff were roughly thrown into a van by the Rogue Team, winding up in Part 2 (S5/Ep2) in an interrogation room in a cabin deep in the woods.  Things became surreal when the masked head of a figure became visible through a window in that room, ordering the boys to capture “The Woman of the Woods,” a witch-like figure last encountered in Lee City, VA.  In return for doing this, the captor promised to deliver the identity of those who had killed “the Stonish Giant,” a Bigfoot variant.  When their captor had left, a boot knife was produced by which the trio freed themselves.  Buck threw a chair through the window where their host had appeared and found a decapitated hog’s head on a stake…eww!

Reunited with Willy and Wild Bill, the team went to team leader Trapper’ s house, and found it ransacked.  In a secure safe was found a note and cell phone video from Trapper, detailing that he was going by invitation to a cabin of the Rogue Team; GPS coordinates were found.  Going to this location the team failed to find Trapper, but rammed around the neighboring roads a bit until they found his truck.  Also finding blood in the area, police were summoned.  With a canine unit brought in, the trail led to another cabin where a bloodied Trapper was found inside.  The blood stemmed from a reopened surgical wound rather than foul play.  On the walls of the cabin were pictures of the AIMS team illustrating things that they had missed in their investigations.

Going back to the cabin where three of them had been held captive (pictured above), the gross hog’s head was examined, and coordinates were found secured in a shotgun casing found in the hog’s mouth; so glad that I wasn’t eating for this segment!  The coordinates were to a location in “The Dark Forest,” with team researcher Jeff sharing that he had gone alone to the Dark Forest, but didn’t know how he had arrived there: presumably the “Woman of the Woods ” was influencing Jeff from a prior encounter.

And what is to be found in “The Dark Forest?”- – Why, that’s where “The Black Wolf” lives, a creature to be revealed in an upcoming episode called, “Secrets of the Dark Forest.” – – Are you not entertained?!

Categories: anomalies, controversial, speculation, television, weird
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“Mountain Monsters; The Rogue Team Rises, Part I”

April 9, 2017

 

I’m not crazy about reviewing episodes of the Mountain Monsters series, but having gotten over two thousand views of my old reviews the day that the new season opened, will bow to the undeniable popularity of the series and continue to chronicle it, at least for a time.  The season opener featured not a single monster hunt, but rather picked up with the mysterious rivalry between the two teams of Bigfoot chasers that increasingly dominated and closed the previous season.  The mood was kind of like a low budget Spy vs. Spy mystery rather than a serious or directed cryptozoology show, but if you have interest in this strange series, read on.  If you’re not a follower of the series, the following will make little sense and may best be skipped.

With that disclaimer, the fourth season left us with a number of unanswered questions; would the AIMS team members ever lose weight, visit a barber, or catch up with their arch-rivals, the Rogue Team? – – Well, after a nine month hiatus, Episode 1 of the fifth season found the AIMS team reconvening minus team member Buck, who Huckleberry located and then went with to locate the truck that poachers had used to destroy one of their traps in a previous episode.  The suspicion was that the poachers were in league with their nemesis, The Rogue Team. They eventually located the truck, which had been stolen a year previously, but was now back in possession of its rightful owner, who gave Buck and Huck the name of a farm where the poachers were believed to hang out.  

Going to the referred Miller farm, Huck and Buck were given directions to the poachers’ camp.  Jeff  had by then united with them, and called team leader Trapper, who wasn’t happy that Buck had acted independently.  Team members Willy and Wild Bill then united with their associates, and they located the camp of the poachers, who said that they were hired to tear down the trap of the AIMS team, but had no connection with the Rogue Team.  

The production crew team had caught an image of the Rogue Team vehicle, indicating that they were still being watched.  A message was received to meet the Rogue Team at designated coordinates, which they elected to do despite being unable to reach Trapper.  At an after-dark meeting, the Rogue Team appeared, wearing hooded jackets and halloween-type masks.  With Willy and Wild Bill watching from concealed positions at some distance, the team members who directly met with the Rogue Team representatives had their hands zip tied, hoods placed over their heads, and were hustled into a truck to be taken to an undisclosed location.  Part II to be aired in a week will presumably detail their fate, together with that of team member Trapper, whom previews suggest went off to a meeting with the Rogue Team independently…

Categories: cryptozoology, television
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Nigel the Wise Owl…

March 28, 2017

 

Owls have long held our respect and are associated with wisdom, and they are increasingly being used as advertising icons.  Their presence in the Harry Potter movies further spiked their popularity to the extent that some misguided people sought them as pets…bad idea, at least for most people!  

Recently used memorably to sell eyewear for one company, owls have now entered the rather competitive allergy medication OTC market.  Enter then Nigel the Xyzal Wise Owl, pictured above.  This feathered guy has class; in one spot, he’s shown in a library with books, wearing a natty jacket, a monocle, and speaking with a British accent! Clearly, this guy is no flyweight, and knows his stuff; he appears to have the right credentials.

With many allergy medications having transitioned from prescription to over-the-counter status, recruiting a feathered sage with the voice of authority like Nigel might help carve out a niche for another product…

Categories: animal spokepersons, animals, anthropomorphic, avian, feathered friends, furry, furry commercials, television
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Hail, Caesar Salad!

March 3, 2017

 

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— Don’t you just hate it when this happens to you?  You order soup at a restaurant, but get the Caesar salad instead, complete with Julius Caesar?!  

In a recent Geico commercial, we are treated to this very scene at a serene and nice looking Italian restaurant.  Four dinners are about to enjoy their repast, but there stands Julius Caesar on the table, complete in period costume. He’s a right proper Shakespearean, too, complete with passionate oratory about how cowards die many times before their deaths, but the valiant only taste of death once.

“Waiter, I ordered the soup!,” complains a proper-looking sweet old lady to the staff.  The waiter apologizes profusely, and then guides Caesar from the table.  I don’t blame the older lady for complaining.  I wouldn’t want Caesar’s sandal-clad foot near my salad either.–  Hygiene, please, how about it?!

So Caesar is led off, a fish out of water, or salad as the case may be.  This time his conversation centers about getting his parking ticket validated.  And as for valor, we foxes know that discretion is the greater part of it…

Categories: absurdities, bizarre, Brilliant but twisted, television

Comments: 3 Comments

Deer Motorists…

February 2, 2017

 

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It’s an all-too-familiar scenario; out driving late at night, when suddenly deer appear on the road, blundering into the way with negative consequences to both the deer and the vehicle.  Since turnabout is fair play, we are shown a reverse case safety promo where two deer are motoring when a clueless human walks onto the road, totally absorbed in his texting.  The deer are forced to brake sharply, and honk their horn.  The clueless human looks up from his texting, startled, and hastens to finish his transit across the road.  The deer couple look at one another, and shake their heads.  A moment later, a trio of texting humans perform the same stunt before the now-stopped vehicle. They often travel in groups, you know…

“Don’t text while on the road,” the public service announcer then intones.  “It’s bad for deer, and for humans”.  Some humans are every bit as self-absorbed, location inappropriate, and clueless as those portrayed, too…

Categories: absurdities, animal behavior, anthropomorphic, furry, furry commercials, television
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Ram-Tough Vikings…

January 29, 2017

I like surreal and anachronistic humor, so commercials featuring the History Channel’s “Vikings” hawking Dodge Ram trucks are right up my alley.  In one commercial spot airing during the “Vikings” series, the burly warriors are hauling one of their longboats with a truck, the topper being that they are singing a variation of “The Wheels On The Bus” kiddie song classic lustily at the top of their lungs as they do so.  

Complete with their weapons and authentic period clothing, we are treated to several spirited choruses of the kid favorite by the Vikings, who probably would have been even more vexing to the Saxons on their raids of England had they driven pickup trucks onto the battlefields…



Categories: absurdities, Brilliant but twisted, television
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Lactaid “Balloons” Commercial…

December 10, 2016

She’s baaack, and becoming a bit crude…the Lactaid “Annoying Milk” cow, that is!  Sitting in a respectable-looking kitchen with a woman, the Lactose Cow makes inquiry about how that lady’s cafe au lait is, and then sits there with inflated balloons (first red, then yellow) making flatulent noises.  After the first balloon is deflated, the Cow appears contrite, asks seriously how the woman’s coffee is, then produces another balloon, continues her show, and laughs maniacally! I guess we’ve got to expect this kind of thing, what with the Trump presidency looming and all…

…but not to worry!  The very proper and demure Lactaid Cow appears, propels her ill-mannered sister roughly to the side, and launches into a subdued conversation with the woman about how that milk was really messing with her.  You see, Lactaid is real milk that won’t mess with you.  For entertainment value, however, I continue to prefer the Annoying Milk cow, who wears red lipstick and appears slightly demented but very capable of doing a manic stand-up comedy routine… no use crying over a little spilled milk, right?


Categories: absurdities, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, furry, furry commercials, television
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Comments: 12 Comments

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