Archive for the ‘furry’ category

The Swamp Stalker of Boggy Creek…

February 20, 2009

boggy-creek-monster–Known as The Swamp Stalker of Boggy Creek or The Boggy Creek Monster, this cryptid is reportedly a large, black-haired, barrel-chested creature who walks upright and stands about 7′ high.  He was the subject of a 1972 movie titled, The Legend of Boggy Creek.

Recently profiled on MonsterQuest, sightings of The Swamp Stalker have come from Texas, Louisiana, and Arkansas, especially the town of Fouke in Arkansas.  Sightings intensified in the late 20th century.  A theory is that The Stalker may simply be a misidentified black bear, although some of the sightings have come from areas not indigenous to black bears.

MonsterQuest set camera traps with 360 degree lenses which yielded only images of known animal species and a few human hunters.  A large old scat sample (feces) turned out upon analysis to be from a wild boar.

And so as with many similar cryptid creatures, the existence of The Swamp Stalker of Boggy Creek “remains undocumented…”


Travis the Chimp Shot Dead…

February 18, 2009

travisTravis the Chimpanzee was 15 years old and weighed 200 lbs.; an animal celebrity, he had appeared in commercials for Coca-Cola and Old Navy. Travis had a stunning repertoire of human-like behaviors; he used the toilet, rode in cars, ate at the table, drank wine from long-stemmed glasses, used a TV remote to channel-surf, and even used a mouse to view pictures on the computer!

Unfortunately, Travis lost it big time this past Monday, brutally mauling a  friend of his Connecticut owner and leaving her with life-changing injuries to her face and hands. In a desperate effort to stop the attack, his owner stabbed him repeatedly with a kitchen knife and hit him with a shovel, but police ultimately had to shoot the animal dead.

While the reason for the attack may never be known, Travis was reported to have suffered from Lyme disease and had been given Xanax by his owner in light of unsettled behavior, and his aggressive behavior may have been a medication reaction.  The woman attacked had also changed her hair style and may not have been recognized by the chimp, triggering territorial instincts. Chimpanzees are wild animals, and are aggressive in their natural state despite their cutesy portrayal on television…

Animal Law

February 16, 2009

animals–Some things shouldn’t happen to a dog…but they do!

Animal Law is one of the fastest growing fields in the legal profession.  In 1993, just seven states had felony animal cruelty laws; today, all but four do…

“Animal law is where environmental law was 20 years ago.  It’s in its infancy but growing,” said Paula Frasch, who heads the National Center for Animal Law at Lewis & Clark Law School in Portland.

In 2000, only nine law schools had animal law studies; today about 100 do.   Incidents of abuse and a shifting national consciousness have made this one of the fastest growing fields in the legal profession.

Malia the Giraffe

February 7, 2009

malia-the-giraffe–A baby reticulated giraffe born at the Buffalo Zoo has been named Malia after President Obama’s oldest daughter.  Amazingly, some people have found this offensive whereas the zoo has maintained that it was intended as an honor.  Giraffes have been named after other famous people, including Clint Eastwood…one imagines that hearing of his namesake may have made Clint’s day!

“Tundra” a Winner!

February 3, 2009

tundra–Chad Carpenter’s comic strip Tundra has been around since late 1991, but has just recently found publication in newspapers in my area.  The comic usually deals with wildlife, nature, and outdoor life, and was named best newpaper panel of 2007 by the National Cartoonists Society, also receiving the Reuben Award in 2008.

One of the fastest growing comic strips on the planet, Tundra is written and drawn by Carpenter, who hails from Wasilla, Alaska.  Wolves,  bears, caribou, and snowmen may be seen in the strip, which has grown from publication in seven newspapers to around 200.  The strip’s humor is universal rather than specifically Alaskan, and its creator actually encourages readers to send in ideas, crediting them if the idea is used.

Check out Tundra if you haven’t already done so; you’ll be hooked!

The Passion of Punxsutawney Phil

February 2, 2009

philThe Passion of Punxsutawney Phil
(A micro-story re:  Groundhog Day)

–Each February 2nd, thousands of people descend on Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania, a small town of approximately 6,100 people located about 65 miles northeast of Pittsburgh to celebrate what had essentially been a German superstition.  The tradition is that if a hibernating animal sees a shadow on February 2nd (the Christian holiday of Candlemas), winter will last another six weeks.  If no shadow is seen, legend says spring will come early.

But understandably, Punxsutawney Phil had grown weary of being torn every year from his sound slumber in a warm burrow.  He accordingly decided that when the top-hat and tuxedo-wearing businessmen of the Punxsutawney Groundhog Club Inner Circle came to carry out the tradition, they would  meet with a little surprise…

Punxsutawney Phil had a friend (a mole, literally and figuratively) who was sympathetic to the groundhog’s plight.  Burrowing through the highest and most secretive branches of government, the mole had accessed some papers which the government had seized from Nikola Tesla following the death of the brilliant but eccentric inventor, engineer, and physicist in 1943,  fearing that such information might prove dangerous should it fall into the hands of the Nazis.  Many years ahead of his time, Tesla had developed among other things alternating current, remote control, the induction motor, and plans for the wireless global transmission of electrical power.   Tesla helped shape and define the 20th century, but died with little money and largely unrecognized for his contributions.

The groundhog had considerable time to pour over the papers and theories of the controversial inventor, and found them intriguing; he was even able to develop working prototypes of several devices.  And so it was when Punxsutawney Phil was again rudely dragged from his burrow and deployed a particle beam weapon, his tormentors truly never knew what hit them…

(–Happy Groundhog Day!)

Mourning Becomes Bunny…

January 31, 2009

funny-bunny-funeral— More surrealism in life:  A recent episode of Howie Do It featured a singing telegram delivered by a performer in a white bunny fursuit at a funeral! The gag was on the performer, who didn’t know that they were performing at a bogus funeral.

The “mourners” looked suitably grieved, and the singer (who performed, “For He’s a Jolly Good Fellow”) was understandably shocked during an encore performance to the corpse when the deceased sat up!–Got ‘ya!

And just think…Stinky Pig is coming on another episode!

(and many thanks to my great readers for taking this blog to 20,000 hits!  🙂

Simon Cowell Hugged by Bunny!

January 29, 2009

simon-hugged–It was kind of a surreal moment for American Idol; competition judge Simon Cowell, known for his sharp tongue, was hugged by a man in a pink bunny suit during the Salt Lake City auditions!

The guy in the rabbit suit was big, bearded, and bespectacled, and was brought to the auditions as a lucky charm sidekick by a contestant, who did not advance to Hollywood.  The bunny, in a cheesy and ludicrous pink fursuit, was not deterred by his partner’s rejection from hugging Simon, vigorously enough in fact to pick up the Englishman from the ground!

One of the more memorable strange Idol auditions since a contestant wore a cow suit complete with udder in a past season…

Colosseum

January 27, 2009

Colosseum  gladiator1
by ff_b

“See Rome and die,” Roger’s mother had always said.  That was hopefully not to say that the visit would be lethal, but rather that Italy boasted so much for a visitor that one could be fully content just seeing the great city.  Well, like most first-time tourists Roger decided to hit the heights of Rome, and that included an obligatory visit to the Colosseum.  Loving ancient Roman history, the American was rather looking forward to it but was at the same time apprehensive about entering a place where so many had died so needlessly, and all for the cruel entertainment of others.  Roger had heard it said that the spirits of those slain sometimes continued to dwell in places where they had met their demise.

–Perhaps the visit would be lethal after all!–These Italians drove like maniacs, and seemed to regard it as a competitive sport.  Roger closed his eyes at times but trusted to the sturdy tour bus, and so arrived safely at the Colosseum, listening to the standard informative guide spiel but later wandering off by himself through the ruins in search of a little quiet reflection on the events that transpired there so long ago.

Did you think that only humans died here?,  slammed a voice into Roger’s consciousness with a force that almost knocked him off his feet.  Reeling, Roger looked about but saw only other tourists some distance away. Many thousands of furred and feathered creatures also died here most cruelly!, continued the voice insistently.  History is seen through human eyes!,  declared Roger’s unseen informant.– Come see what horrors transpired here from a feline perspective!

His consciousness was clouded, and when Roger’s mind cleared he was on all fours in a wooden cage with bars being pulled towards a light; emerging into it, the American was dazzled by its intensity, as if he had been in a dim place for a long time. There were noises, thousands of voices blending together into a roar.–Many were shouting at Roger; why? He staggered into a large open space, and saw that all of these people were sitting in an arena, above and all around him.–God, the stench!–Didn’t these people use deodorant?  There were other smells, too…smells of food, blood, sweat, feces, and a variety of animals.– Roger couldn’t ever remember having smelled so many odors at one time!  He sensed that he was far from home…yes, captured, and brought here against his will!–Maybe this gentleman in gladiator costume could direct him how to get out of here, he’d apparently stumbled into a show of some kind…

Oww!,” screamed Roger.–“Hey buddy, you could hurt someone with that sword!–I don’t want to be here, I tell you!–There’s been some kinda mistake…Hey!–You’re making me mad here!–This is the worst Martin Luther King Day ever!–Aieee!”  With those words, Roger was run through, never understanding his brief sojourn in a feline body.

The mind and consciousness of the tourist being thus obliterated in another time and place, his body was free to be inhabited by the transmigrated soul of the leopard whose body had been slain in the Roman Colosseum centuries before. The leopard flexed his human limbs, looking with some distain upon his largely hairless skin.

“Ah well!,” sighed the soul of Felis the leopard.  “I’ve been waiting a long time, so I should be happy with whatever body I can get, I suppose!–Let’s see what this 21st century is about, shall we?”

Felis boarded the tour bus, drawing strange stares fom the elderly woman seated next to him as he licked the back of his hand in preparation to grooming himself…

The Bunny Man!

January 22, 2009

the-bunny-man1–After the Civil War,  Fairfax County, Virginia became more populated, and eventually an insane asylum was built there.  This tends to lower property values, and eventually due to public outrage the asylum was shut down. — Well, during the transfer of patients circa 1904 via bus, some of the patients escaped and hid in the surrounding woods and forest.   Most of the wandering psychos were found, except for two who remained itinerant.  Local authorities found a trail littered with…this is not for the squeamish…half eaten mutilated bunnies! Hence, an urban legend was born.

The trail led deep into the woods to a tunnel bridge crossing a wide creek where one of the asylum inmates was found hanging from the tunnel entrance.  A note was reportedly attached to his foot saying, “You’ll never find me no matter how hard you try!” The note was signed The Bunny Man, and the bridge has been called Bunny Man Bridge ever since.

The legend maintains that if you walk all the way down the tunnel at around midnight, the Bunny Man will grab you and hang you from the entrance of the bridge.  This is usually not to be desired even by thrill-seekers.  Strange deaths and phenomena have been connected with the Bunny Man Bridge since, with a 2001 investigation by six local youths and a guide finding mutilated bunny parts during their search…

It should be noted that most bunnies are more sinned against than sinning, and that if you see an enormous rabbit, it’s probably someone into fursuiting…