Archive for the ‘anthropomorphic’ category
January 2, 2019
It’s hard to think of a less appealing figure in a commercial than Mr. Mucus. We’ve seen bodily organs with minds of their own such as the Myrbetriq bladder and the Halos stomach, but this guy is a bodily product, for crying out loud, basically animated phlegm! He’s even a revolting green color, so we think less than kindly of him, and basically want him gone, ASAP; it isn’t easy being green, as Kermit the Frog observed, and Kermit had redemptive qualities. The repulsiveness of Mr. Mucus is why we are glad to see some insult or harm come to him, and will remember any product that can further that end. You’ll never see stuffed likenesses of Mr. Mucus flying off store shelves.- – It’s snot gonna happen, ahem! (laughs maniacally)
The brief ad begins with a man asking his wife where her cough is. The woman responds that she’s fine because she took Mucinex DM, which sent the cough far away. – – How far away? We are then shown Mr. Mucus in the jungle, complete with a safari jacket and pith helmet. Coming across a gorilla, he asks the ape if he’s seen a nice woman with a cough, to which the simian responds Hulk-like by smashing Mucus-boy with a mighty fist that sends him flying swiftly out of sight. No tears are shed on Mr. Mucus…sad!
Mucinex DM, the voiceover then tells us, releases swiftly and lasts 12 hours, not 4, leaving Mr. Mucus to bungle in the jungle…”Well, that’s alright by me.” (Jethro Tull).
(“I’ll write on your tombstone, I thank you for dinner/This game that we animals play is a winner.” —Jethro Tull, Bungle In The Jungle)
Categories: absurdities, advertising, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, commercials, furry, furry commercials, television
Tags: Mucinex "Mr. Mucus"
Comments: 2 Comments
November 25, 2018
A comedy-horror series is a rare and wonderful thing, especially if it’s done well. If you’ve missed this gem, you may want to check out Stan Against Evil, now in its third season on the IFC network. The show takes place in the fictional New Hampshire town of Willard’s Mill, which was the site of witch burnings in the late 17th century. As a result of that history, strange and creepy supernatural things continue to emerge there which are dealt with by the town’s former sheriff, Stan Miller (John C. McGinley) and it’s current one, Evie Barrett (Janet Varney).
Now Stan Miller is a delight as an aging, cynical, slovenly antihero who just wants to be left alone, but can’t even manage to 
do that! Teamed reluctantly with the young and beautiful woman who is his successor, Stan is pressed into service to battle legions of demonic monsters that include witches, vampires, evil puppets, and even a were-pony! Although he’d much rather be drinking and watching television, Stan uses traditional and improvised weaponry to devastating effect, repeatedly bludgeoning for example a large winged skeleton-bird wraith creature (at right) with a shovel until it moves no more .- – You gotta love this guy!
The show parodies horror in a loving fashion, and manages nods to The X-Files and other traditions from which it has drawn. I’m glad to see something like this still in active production…long may its demonic beasties thrive!
Categories: animals, anomalies, anthropomorphic, bizarre, creature features, furry, furry horror, horror, noteworthy, television, twisted reality
Tags: comedy horror, Stan Against Evil
Comments: 3 Comments
November 22, 2018
Being a big fan of Halloween, I love images of early Thanksgiving parades because they had balloons and floats back then that were, well, creepy! Animals have had a long association with Thanksgiving Day parades since their inception, with the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade beginning in 1924 and including live animals, many of them actually borrowed from the Central Park Zoo for the occasion.
The early Thanksgiving Day parades often had a circus orientation, and hence the animal elements. Actual lions, tigers, and bears were trucked down city streets, traumatizing them and causing the elicitation of roars and growls that frightened observing children. Wisely, the use of living animals was abandoned after a few years, with animal balloons and floats substituted, together with some great vintage cartoonish stuff that was rather surreal. Felix the Cat was an early parade favorite.
In the 1930’s, Macy’s actually released their balloons at the end of the parade for a few years, with rewards of $25 offered for their return, a princely sum in depression-era America. Macy’s wasn’t the only Thanksgiving Day parade on the block, either, with Newark, New Jersey having memorable ones as well as other cities in diverse locations.
So while you enjoy that traditional Thanksgiving feast, remember those poor souls who marched, danced, and performed in frigid twenty-some degree weather this year in parts of America dressed among other things as fried eggs and sticks of butter. As I said, I like my holidays surreal, which makes them and family easier to take…
Categories: animal presence, animals, anthropomorphic, furry, twisted reality
Tags: Thanksgiving Parade Animals
Comments: 4 Comments
November 6, 2018
I’m no stranger to Worry Monsters; we’re intimate associates, actually. It’s just that I never imagined them looking quite as they are depicted in commercials for POM Wonderful juices. Managing to look both disturbingly human and grotesquely cute at the same time, these monsters look like rejected prototypes from a Disney/Pixar movie, or perhaps toys for children that you hate. They’re covered in pastel-colored fur, have distorted or exaggerated facial features, and monster appendages like horns and pointy ears. There are scarier monsters in real life American politics, nudge-nudge, wink-wink!
The underlying notion seems to be that as you get older you worry more about your health, so you turn more to things like running in the case of the male profiled, or yoga in the case of the female. But if you drink POM Wonderful juice that boasts ingredients like pomegranate juice, you’ll worry less about your health, and your Worry Monsters won’t be either as bothersome or as potent. The blue furry monster pursuing “Jake” in our commercial is winded, not able to keep up with his running, and the only fear that he can cast to his charge is over chafing. “Julie’s” purple-hued yoga monster bewails the fact that she can’t spend quality time pouring over the Internet with her host over diseases that she might have. These are ineffective, underutilized monsters with issues, you see. Perhaps they need to see Dr. Phil; that might make for memorable viewing…
…one might fantasize about the Mountain Monsters crew plugging one of these critters during a search for Bigfoot; heck, they’d probably wear their hide as a vest to the hoots of their fellows over the pastel shades. And when it comes to inner demons, I’ve stopped fighting with mine…we’re on the same team, now! So eliminate those free radicals, people, and remember to VOTE! It’s never been more important…
Categories: absurdities, advertising, anomalies, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, commercials, creature features, furry, furry commercials
Tags: cute creatures, Worry Monsters
Comments: 7 Comments
November 1, 2018
“Hi Susan!,” greets the anthropomorphic CGI bear cheerily as he rolls back a woman’s kitchen sink window in this Robitussin commercial. The woman has been coughing, and her cough is visible as a blue spray; drat, mine never is! In her hand, the woman holds a honey container, appropriately enough one of those molded in the shape of a bear. She has been self-medicating her cough, you see, with honey, a popular home remedy for the ailment.
“Honey? I respect that,” comments this genial bear. “But that cough looks pretty bad!” He extends a helpful paw to offer a box of Robitussin. “Try this new Robitussin Honey!” This is a better bruin; articulate, affable, and helpful. We cut then to the announcer commentary…“the real honey you love, plus the powerful cough relief you need.”
Then it’s back to the woman and bear again. “Mind if I root through your trash?,” he asks the woman. It only seems a fair exchange, after all, and the bear’s been so helpful. But sadly in this brief 15 second spot, we are not told if she grants permission to this rare bear…
…in my crazed mind, I would like to see a television series that unites a number of commercial animal spokes-creatures, including this bear, Maxwell the pig, and of course the Lactaide “milk that messes with you” cow. We’ll throw in Tony the Tiger, Toucan Sam, and other guest animals. It would be just the thing to heal us from the vicious political mid-term election attack ads now dunning us at every commercial interval. And this bear? – – better than your average politician, hey hey hey hey! – – I’d vote for him!
Categories: animal spokepersons, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, commercials, furry, furry commercials
Tags: Robitussin honey bear
Comments: 11 Comments
October 22, 2018
Michael Jackson’s Halloween, an animated/CGI special which debuted in 2017, was recently dusted off for the season, airing recently. Following its first presentation, I had posted about Hay Man, a pumpkin-headed scarecrow voiced by Jim Parsons (Sheldon Cooper), who led a spirited dance of animals to Michael Jackson’s Dangerous, mimicking the King of Pop’s trademark moves to perfection. For the second airing, I wanted to post about another memorable character, the feline Franklin Stein.
Voiced by Diedrich Bader, Stein is a mad scientist, perhaps with a touch of the Nazi super science thing going on. He’s got the look, with unkempt hair, a white lab coat, and yellow protective gloves. Stein even uses a coffee mug labeled, “World’s Greatest Scientist!” With his slender limbs, fluid moves, and Jacksonian attire Stein is arguably another Michael Jackson variant who works for the villainess Conformity, having devised a machine to (gasp!) destroy music! But when overcome by the human protagonists, it turns out that Stein isn’t really a bad kitty after all, but just a frustrated musician who plays a mean guitar. He sends the humans off with his machine, which when hooked up in reverse can summon virtual Michael Jackson, who is able to defeat Conformity in a finale set to the strains of Thriller.
Think what you will of him and his music, but Michael Jackson was someone who liked scary things, and that perhaps makes this oddball family-friendly special appropriate for the season…
Categories: anthropomorphic, furry, furry horror
Tags: Franklin Stein, furry halloween characters, Michael Jackson's Halloween
Comments: 3 Comments
October 5, 2018
Back in the halcyon days of my youth, we had Captain Kangaroo, a benign and kindly grandfatherly-like gentleman who sported a haircut like Moe of The Three Stooges, and held sway in a place called The Treasure House. He is shown in the presence of Mr. Green Jeans (a farmer stereotype), and three of the regular furry cast members, Dancing Bear, Mr. Moose, and Bunny Rabbit. In their day, they were quite iconic…
Now this was all low tech stuff but could be strangely surreal at times, perhaps a distant echo of the Peewee’s Playhouse that would follow decades later. I mean, there was even a talking Grandfather Clock that viewers were expected to call to and wake up! And while his face was incapable of rendering any range of emotion, one wouldn’t want to wake up at night to find Dancing Bear hovering over you. There’s something creepy and unnatural about that cheap fursuit that makes him look like Yogi Bear on a party drug…
Bob Keeshan the titular host previously was Clarabell the Clown on the Howdy Doody show, and his show ran for almost thirty years from 1955 to 1984…
Categories: animal presence, anthropomorphic, furry, television
Tags: Captain Kangaroo, childrens' television, early furry
Comments: 3 Comments
July 22, 2018
Imagine performing dentistry on a Great White Shark…now that’s a toothy business! This shark is reclining on a dental chair, too, although there’s no need to tell him to open wide…his maw gapes enormously, and is full of razor-sharp teeth. In the Kayak commercial, you can even see the shark’s tail moving slightly. The attending dentist doesn’t appear too worried about his unusual client, however, just going about business as usual. An observing guy in the background comments that the dentist appears confident. A woman also in the background agrees, but adds that he doesn’t appear Kayak confident as she is, with Kayak having searched hundreds of sites for her to find the best flight. It’s “search one and done,” you see…
Now being offbeat, I fantasize about crossover commercials. Picture one featuring the Kayak shark, and the Aspen Dental dentist. “You really should take better care of your teeth,” the Aspen Dentist might lecture the Kayak shark, who perhaps deliberately in spite ate a whole box of Oreos before visiting the dentist. “Cancel the rest of my appointments for this afternoon!,” our Aspen guy might add before settling undaunted into the task of cleaning the hundreds of teeth before him. Dentistry soldiers on…our unsung heroes.
Or imagine Progressive Insurance’s agent Flo trying to sell insurance to the shark, who would only listen so long before snapping at Flo in frustration. Cobra-like, Flo would whip safely away before chiding the shark that he didn’t have to snap her head off. Flo has impressive survival skills, you see, enduring being marooned on a desert island with only a “name your own price” tool in a commercial that recalls a Tom Hanks film…
Categories: absurdities, animals, anthropomorphic, aquatic, commercials, furry, furry commercials, television, twisted reality
Tags: Kayak "Shark" commercial
Comments: 5 Comments
June 21, 2018
I’ve always loved Tim Burton’s work for his dark, twisted, and even macabre take on things. When Burton joins with Disney, we tend to get a less saccharine and darker vision of a great story with surreal, frequently animal elements, and so Tim Burton’s upcoming 2019 version of the Disney classic Dumbo promises to be a real treat.
We had last seen Dumbo as a two dimensional cartoon image in Who Framed Roger Rabbit?, and his upcoming outing will be as a far more realistic CGI elephant that is flawlessly integrated with a stellar live-action cast that includes such diverse talent as Michael Keaton and Danny DeVito. And yes, the hauntingly sad lullaby Baby Mine from the 1940’s classic will be incorporated, so get those tissues ready for when mother elephant is chained up and separated from her baby…
The flying baby elephant with the endearingly enormous ears will be soaring across a big top circus tent in your neighborhood around March 2019. He works for peanuts, after all…
Categories: animal presence, animals, anthropomorphic, furry, furry film classics
Tags: classics, Disney, Dumbo, Tim Burton
Comments: 3 Comments
May 22, 2018
All good things must come to an end, and so The Terror wrapped up its tenth and final season episode (“We Are Gone”) with more than a bit of Grand Guignol, complete with cannibalism and the Tuunbaq ripping into Hickey and his rebellious men, literally tearing the sadistic psychopath in two before succumbing to its poisonous diet. You are what you eat, after all…
We were given more of a close-up of the Inuit monster in this conclusive episode, his countenance a disturbing mixture of human and bestial elements, almost resembling someone’s crazy old uncle; maybe Uncle Fester of The Addams Family. A “spirit who dresses itself as an animal,” the mythological creature was said to consume not only the flesh but also the soul of its victims.
Where human flesh eating was concerned, there are suggestions in the historical evidence that some cannibalism occurred in the actual Franklin Expedition, although it was ramped up for horrific effect in the Dan Simmons novel as well as the series adaptation of it. In this television adaptation, surgeon Goodsir poisoned himself unknown to his captors and slit his wrists, his body then becoming a fatal feast for them. Other subtle differences between the book and the screen adaptation occurred as well, and without issuing spoilers I did find the novel’s ending more satisfying. If you were captivated by the televised series, check out the book as well as a really well done and worthwhile horror tale…
Categories: anomalies, anthropomorphic, creature features, cryptozoology, furry, historical perspectives, horror, sci fi, television
Tags: The Terror "We Are Gone"
Comments: 2 Comments
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