Archive for the ‘animals’ category

A Goat Walked Into a Music Store…

April 20, 2011

 – – It sounds like a set-up line for a really bad joke, but it actually happened at a piano store in the southeastern Idaho town of Ammon!  The goat is reported to have followed a woman and her child into the Piano Gallery on Monday.  The staff corralled the goat in a bathroom until animal control arrived.

Dubbed “Beethoven” for its apparent love of music, the goat is being held at the Idaho Falls Animal Shelter;  if it isn’t claimed, someone is ready to adopt it.

We would suspect that the goat was just looking for some sheeeet music for his kids


Werefoxes…

April 18, 2011

 – – On this night of the full moon, I find it appropriate to post about my fave were-animal, the werefox.  Now don’t get me wrong, I love werewolves dearly…some of my best friends, and all!  With the understandable excitement over werewolves, however, the other were-animals tend to be neglected a bityet fall into the same furry shapeshifting family.

Werefox stories are common to northern China, where they are seen to inhabit the netherworld between the material plane and the unseen dimensions.  They can take human form and mate with normal humans, although such people tend to turn into a zombie-like slave of the werefox;  (–heh, gotta get me some of those!).  Even while in human form, the werefox retains his or her fox tail, which can be a dead give-away when it pops out of clothing!  The werefox can also lose control of its human form when it sleeps or gets good and drunk.  This can pose a major embarrassment.

Werefoxes are not the strongest of the were-animals, and are accordingly not as likely to rip deserving individuals to shreds.  They are rather more inclined to mess with the heads of their intended victims, playing heavy-grade tricks on them or perhaps laying a curse on their sorry asses.  For this reason werefoxes are often associated with sorcery, and in Native American legends sorcerers preferred to shapeshift into this form. – – Can’t say that I blame them!

So support and respect your friendly neighborhood werefox, and give him his due…you may have found a clever and resourceful new friend!


Grin and Bear It!

April 16, 2011

– – During medieval times, animals were at times tormented as public entertainment through such displays as bear-baiting and what was termed the “horse and ape” spectacle; dogs were also trained to fight bears and bulls confined in a pit.  To add insult to injury, animals were occasionally even put on trial!   In 1499, a bear was charged with terrorizing villages in Germany.   Defense lawyers cried foul (not bruin), and pleaded that the defendant should be tried by a jury of its peers…peer bears, that is!

If,  however,  Yogi Bear is ever put on trial, I’d volunteer to be judge, jury, and Lord High Executioner…sorry, Boo-boo!

Stun Gun Hunting?

April 14, 2011

– – As technology continues to advance, it can lead us into ethical considerations previously unconsidered and perhaps unexplored that were in the past gray areas at best.  One such area is that posed by the possibility of the stun gun hunting of animals...

The value of Tasers and other electronic stun devices has been well established in police work and security applications as a non-lethal way of subduing and controlling non-compliant suspects.  Likewise, one can readily see the potential value of a Taser Wildlife Electronic Control Device such as has also been developed as a non-lethal way of immobilizing wildlife that has perhaps blundered into a human habitation area where its presence poses potential danger both to the animal itself as well as to humans present.  This non-lethal weapon can temporarily incapacitate moose, bears, and other large animals, and could be helpful to park rangers and wildlife officials; it’s a heavy-duty device which packs quite a wallop and costs about $2,000.

A disturbing question that has arisen is whether such a weapon might be used deliberately by private individuals seeking to practice “catch-and-release” hunting.  While it is unclear whether stun guns have already been used for this purpose, the potential for such abuse is real.  While stunning an animal without need is preferable to shooting it, such an action could easily be considered cruelty.  Human test subjects who have experienced stun guns almost universally describe the experience as painful and unpleasant, and the United Nations considers stun guns instruments of torture as they inflict pain.

The state of Alaska is accordingly moving to proactively outlaw the use of stun guns to zap wild animals for “catch and release” hunting in the state.  The weapon may still be used defensively, in emergency situations, or for purposes of further research by trained professionals.  State biologists have been using electronic animal control devices in Alaska since 2005.  Additionally,  while wild animals usually flee when hit with the current, there is no guarantee that they will do so…and one does not want to severely aggravate a grizzly!


Furry Celebrity Namesake

April 12, 2011

– – Barack O’Llama is a llama from ShangriLlama whose stable mates include Dalai Llama, Pajama Llama, and Bahama Llama.- -No, I am not making that up, and yes, that’s the most fun that I’ve had saying something in some time!

The family which owns the llamas specializes in offering hands-on llama tours in Yorba Linda, California where visitors may learn to walk and feed llamas and hang out with the peaceful, gentle animals.  Walking with a llama is said to be calming and even therapeutic, and the animals are popular with special needs groups…perhaps Congress could benefit!

“Sheep-Dog” Offspring Not Likely…

April 10, 2011

– – We all know that there are sheep and there are dogs as well as sheepdogs, of the Old English variety among others…but could a sheep and a dog produce an offspring?

Well, a farmer in western China’s Shaanxi province is claiming that such a miracle of nature happened, with the, umm, puppy-lamb having a white woolly coat with a mouth, nose, paws, and tail that look very similar to a dog’s features.   Experts say, however, that the animal is just an abnormal lamb, or perhaps a fuzzy-furred young canid that was found born near sheep.– It’s also as cute as the dickens!

Sheep and dogs are of different species that diversified about 80 million years ago from a common ancestor, and they are in separate orders or taxonomic designations.  They have been isolated genetically for so long that they differ greatly in their chromosome numbers.  While hybrids can occur such as the ligers possible between lions and tigers, dogs and sheep are just too genetically different for an offspring to be biologically possible…





Foghorn Leghorn Does Geico!

April 6, 2011

– – Foghorn Leghorn is not the best known Looney Tunes character, but deserves a bit more attention.  He’s about to get it in one of the on-going Geico commercials, where it is posed whether Foghorn Leghorn would make a really bad book narrator…

The answer is, extremely! Foghorn is an anthropomorphic rooster with a Central Virginia accent and a “good ol’ boy” speaking style who is full of bluster, hot air, and himself.  He starred in 28 cartoons in the Golden Age of  American animation, first appearing in 1946.  We are shown the rooster narrating A Tale of Two Cities in his own inimitable way, offering much irritating commentary along the way.  So irritating is Foghorn that Henry the  Hawk, also present in the recording booth for the session, just can’t take it anymore, and picks up a bat to explain the situation to the extremely verbose rooster…it’s classic stuff!

Most of us know someone who is at least somewhat like Foghorn Leghorn, and have been tempted to deal with them in a similar fashion…just resist, because assault and battery is illegal!

One of Us?

April 4, 2011

– – Imagine a surreal TV series about a guy, the girl next door, and her mixed breed dog, Wilfred. The twist is that the dog is played by a comic in a rather mediocre fursuit, complete with a drawn-on black nose!  That’s right, there may be a furry cult classic in the making here!

Wilfred will be aired on FX, and is based on a successful award-winning Australian series.  Not all foreign shows translate well to American television, although there have been notable exceptions such as Being Human. The premise of this show is exciting as we who are furry generally have to content ourselves on television with anthropomorphic animal ‘toon characters such as Brian in Family Guy, or occasionally catch glimpses of fursuited actors such as Bill Murray’s dog character Frisbee all too briefly portrayed in the movie, Scrooged. Such tantalizing tastes only leave us hungry for more, and here in Wilfred we have the promise of a major, on-going furry character!

Family Guy alum David Zuckerman is adapting the quirky comedy for FX, and will write and exec produce.  Jason Gann, who co-created and starred in the Australian series, plays the title character.- -Coming your way in  June!

The Bridgestone Beaver

April 2, 2011

– – What goes around, comes around…or so we are shown in the karmic Bridgestone beaver saga, generally regarded as probably the best of this year’s Superbowl commercials.  We are shown an industrious beaver hard at work in a wooded area, dutifully carrying a branch across a road with a bridge spanning a river visible in the background.–Oh no!–A car is then shown zipping down the road towards the beaver, who throws his paws up in anticipation of becoming roadkill.  The guy driving, however, calls upon the excellent handling characteristics of his Bridgestone tires, and is able at the last second to swerve around the threatened beaver, avoiding a messy tragedy.

For the beaver, life is one dam thing after another…and we cut to six months in the future, when the same motorist is shown traveling down the same road during a storm.  This time, a tree across the road halts the driver’s progress.  It’s a good thing, too, because the bridge the motorist must cross has been swept away by a raging torrent of water!  The beaver and the motorist spot one another, and exchange salutes…it’s a great moment!

A parable for our time…now that’s car-ma!

To Be Young, Elusive, and Serpentine…

April 1, 2011

– – She’s young, beautiful, quite deadly, and on the lam; the Bronx Zoo Egyptian cobra, that is!  A mere 3 ounces and just twenty inches long, the missing adolescent cobra has more than 135,000 followers on Twitter, some of whom suggest possible hideouts for her or relate supposed communications.

Staffers at the zoo believe that the elusive snake is still holed up in some warm spot at the Reptile House such as a heating duct or under a large appliance.  Unless discovered, the missing reptile could spend months in hiding before eventually emerging for water or something to nosh.

The snake’s toxins can cause respiratory failure, and is probably the type of asp that Cleopatra used to commit suicide; the venom is lethal to humans in 15 minutes.   Snakes tend to seek out confined spaces where they feel safe, where I rather imagine that she’s listening to some White Snake…

Addendum:   The Egyptian cobra has now been located by zoo staff coiled in a dark corner of the Reptile House during a sweep of the premises.  She is in good condition, but her Twittering days may be over…