– – The Aflac Duck had seemed almost indestructible up to this point…after all, he’s been bonked by soccer balls, whacked with logs, singed by flames, and even dropped into the Grand Canyon. Now the daredevil duck has suffered the unthinkable, involved in an undisclosed accident with ensuing injuries to his wing and beak! In a new series of television commercials, a “doctor” discusses the duck’s disaster in front of reporters, and we only see the familiar fowl as a small fixed image on the screen.
The campaign is to illustrate that if the iconic duck can run afoul of fate, anyone can get hurt. Of course, his Aflac insurance is going to take care of the hospitalized duck’s expenses.- -What else is he gonna do, put them on his bill?!
– – The month-long python purge is in progress in Florida, with about 800 intrepid hunters in pursuit of the estimated 15,000 to 20,000 Burmese pythons who live in the Everglades where they are an invasive species and decimate natural populations. The pythons are elusive, however, and not that many carcasses have been turned in to date. Recommended methods of dispatching them include shooting or cutting off their heads with a machete; the “captive bolt” method is also mentioned if the device can be attached to their heads to destroy their brains as one would a zombie. 
– – Seems like everyone’s a critic these days, even Fancy Bear from the FreeCreditScore commercial! It appears that you’re just not safe from having a home invasion by a bowler-hat wearing, cane and moustache-sporting bear in a dress jacket who criticizes your taste in home decor. “May I respond negatively about your porcelain poodle?,” interjects the well-dressed ursine intruder, disdainfully holding up the objectionable artifact. “This should be in the trash!,” he huffs. The commercial closes with Fancy Bear playing a piano piece while the properly scolded human couple sit listening on the couch. 
– – We all know about the 2006 Samuel L. Jackson film, Snakes On A Plane (sample repeatable line: “Why exactly are there snakes on this plane?”), but in another case of life imitating art(?), a scrub python hitched a ride on the wing of a plane on a flight from Australia to Papua, New Guinea. A woman supposedly pointed outside the plane and told the cabin crew, “There’s a snake on the wing,” recalling William Shatner’s memorable performance in the classic Twilight Zone episode, Nightmare at 20,000 Feet. 
– – We’ve all heard the heroic dog stories, typified by something like Lassie alerting folks to Timmy having fallen in a well.–Well, cats can do some rather helpful things, too! 
– – It may alarm some to hear that hundreds of blob-like squid are invading California; on the other hand, some might think that this was inevitable, or that they might just be assimilated to become Californians. The squid are big suckers known as Humboldt squid, who can reach up to six feet and weigh as much as 100 pounds. They normally live at depths of 660 to 2,300 feet in the eastern Pacific.
– – A cat being used as a “mule” for contraband was detained on the grounds of a Brazilian prison on New Year’s day as it crossed the main gate! Strapped to the cat’s body with tape were drill bits, a saw, files, and a mobile phone with charger and memory chip, all intended for use by prisoners. 
– – If Batman and Catwoman had a child, the offspring might look something like this magnificent creature whose image originally came from Reddit and was popularized by the Huffington Post before spreading like wildfire throughout the Internet. Thought by a number of commentators to be a Maine Coon cat, this Batcat might not have a Robin, but could probably bring you one…Meow!
– – We’ve had the movie, Snakes on a Plane, and now we have Maxwell the Pig in a commercial set on a plane, where two flight attendants are after him to turn off what they think is his “little word game.”- -Well, it turns out that Maxwell is actually using his Geico application to pay his bill, detailing a host of other potential functions which the flight attendants can’t quite swallow, one remarking that she’ll believe the accounting of the app’s functionality “when pigs fly.” 
– – Even when you are out in the woods in the darkness of night, you can apparently find attached to a tree a convenient brightly-illuminated medicine cabinet, filled with a wise, zen-like squirrel who will counsel the gastric-afflicted that “many hot dogs are within you,” and provide pepto bismol to go, in a convenient use-anywhere vial! 
FOXSYLVANIA 
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