Archive for the ‘alternative realities’ category

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Pee-Wee’s Big Holiday…

September 14, 2024

With Paul Reubens sadly deceased, there remains one chance to see his Pee-Wee Herman character in a lesser-known movie that I wasn’t aware existed until recently. Pee-Wee’s Big Holiday (2016), while not in my opinion his best movie, gives the actor-comedian and his defining character a fitting send-off…

It seems that Pee-Wee, the man-boy in his trademark too-small suit, has settled nicely in the town of Fairville, a wholesome place where he is known and loved by all, and works as a cook in a local diner where his masterfully-prepared meals are the delight of all. When not working, Pee-Wee may be seen motoring about in his sporty miniature convertible.

While Pee-Wee professes that he “doesn’t want to go anywhere, and doesn’t want to try anything new,” this changes when Joe Manganiello motorcycles into Pee-Wee’s town, craves a milkshake in the diner, and bonds with Pee-Wee over their mutual love of root beer barrels. Joe invites Pee-Wee to his upcoming birthday party in the Big Apple, and the film then essentially becomes a road trip movie as Reubens makes his way to NYC, encountering misadventures along the way.

These occurrences include captivity by a trio of female bank robbers who steal his car, an overnight with a farmer who curiously intends to marry one of his nine daughters off to Pee-Wee, and a memorable sojourn with an Amish community! Arriving in New York City, Pee-Wee manages to fall into a well in Central Park, necessitating his rescue. While trapped, Pee-Wee has some apparently delusional encounters with Abraham Lincoln and Queen Elizabeth…

While Pee-Wee and Joe seem to be an extremely unlikely duo, their attraction is supposedly based on shared interests and is a friendship, nothing else. This is a children’s movie, after all, or at least a child-friendly one. The Pee-Wee character is supposedly a boy in latency, although he did seem to show interest in the opposite sex in Big Top Pee-Wee. Anyways, Pee-Wee’s Big Vacation may be seen on Netflix, and is recommended viewing for fans of the character, admittedly an acquired taste for some that others never acquire…

RIP, Paul Reubens. His Pee-Wee character always reminded me of a demented composite of all the kiddie show hosts that I grew up watching…

Categories: absurdities, alternative realities, Brilliant but twisted, movies
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Comments: 2 Comments

Buffalo Wild Wings “Box Out” Commercial…

September 11, 2024

The buffalo in the Buffalo Wild Wings commercials appears to be a party animal, and as he shows in the Box Out ad, is a bit of the “bull in the china shop” beast as well, not that a pub equates to a china shop! The buffalo spokes-animal still manages to trash stuff pretty impressively, and that’s without being mad!

I’ve always kinda admired the Wild Wings buffalo as a rather well-rendered and impressive chimera, and he’s certainly articulate and expressive to the point of being brash or domineering. I doubt that his wings would be adequate, however, to enable flight, and support his massive bulk. They’re nice wings, nonetheless...

The buffalo, whose name is Hank, is voiced by Beck Bennett. Crafted for the March Madness event, the commercial is certainly mad and wild. Hank, who thinks that he knows a bit about playing defense, goes into a demonstration by unintentionally knocking people about, even breaking out the window, complete with a bodily ejection and flying glass. One would certainly want to be on this bison’s team, as his opponents might not survive him!

I’ve never posted about a buffalo before, but Hank does cut an impressive and imposing furry figure in this ad; you’d just want to think twice about inviting him to your apartment, however! Unanswered are the questions of whether Hank will be held liable for damages…

And BTW, this fox was born in Buffalo, New York!

And by the way, I just happen to have been born in Buffalo, New York! My university mascot was a bison!

Categories: absurdities, advertising, alternative realities, animal spokepersons, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, commercials, furry, furry commercials, humor, television, twisted reality
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Comments: 4 Comments

I Blog Because …

August 31, 2024

Daily writing prompt
Why do you blog?
View all responses

Why do I blog? Good writing prompt, BTW, and I rarely respond to these things. – – I blog because it’s so much cheaper than therapy! Thinking about it, however, I blog because it affords me a sense of community, of knowing that somewhere out there in internet-land there are a few people who are interested in the same things that I am, and perhaps share elements of my weirdness. This can make it a bit easier to take the daily masquerade that we all engage in, of preparing a face to meet the faces that we meet…

What I am is a strange mixture of frustrated English teacher, biologist, paranormal fancier, and red fox furry. I was a furry back in the pre-internet days before we even had a word for it, and those of us who were of that persuasion just kind of blundered around unnaturally attached to cartoons, and identifying with the animal characters depicted. I played a chicken in my 2nd grade class play and Don Quixote’s horse Rocinante in a college adaptation of Man of La Mancha, and couldn’t have been happier. Playing a horse was much better than being a chicken, however, as I got to wear a large paper mache head and pulled a draped sawhorse frame behind me to simulate a horse’s body. The rear sawhorse legs were hinged so I could sit down on stage…

I guess that experience initially led me to identify as a horse in the fandom, and I functioned acceptably that way for a while, but I could only take the identification so far. So I tried being a wolf for a whole, but wasn’t really a pack animal nor could I handle the frequently expected aggressiveness. Many of us in the fandom need to experiment and essentially try on different identities before we find the right one, and that’s fine! It’s kinda like deciding on a career field, but far deeper psychologically…

Now the furry fandom is full of vixens, but I reasoned that there must be male foxes as well to continue the species. So I accepted my identity as a male fox, and the role has fit me like a glove ever since! Sometimes, it would appear, we must wander in the desert for some time before we can finally find where we are going…

So blogging can reinforce your sense of personal identity, tie you in with a community of like-minded spirits, and it can even be a kick, to boot (pun intended). It’s also humbling to draw readers from different locations around the world. So thank you, WordPress, for giving each of us our own crazy personal niches! It may not be a second Eden, but it still beats Berwyn, right?

Back to business in my next post. But right now, it’s time for a group hug or skritch in appreciation for my readers who put up with me!

Categories: alternative realities, anthropomorphic, furry, furry fandom
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Comments: 6 Comments

Prepare for “Spooky Season!”

August 22, 2024

I’ve already seen fall and Halloween stuff in the stores for several weeks, and with August nearly over, who can blame me for anticipating a time yet two months away? It’s not like I’ll be accused of “Seasonal Spread,” which Xmas gets away with increasingly every year. Besides, what other holiday is near…and I doubt that American “Labor Day” will be offended. Christmas steps all over Halloween annually too, so we Halloween spirits might as well get our licks in early! 🎃

We Halloween heads are getting a special blessing this year with the arrival of Beetlejuice 2 (also referred to as Beetlejuice Beetlejuice in some references) opening n theaters on September 6th! I can’t think of any movie whose sequel I’ve anticipated for as many years as Beetlejuice (1988), with Michael Keaton thankfully returning in the titular role.- – This is truly the Ghost With The Most!

Set over three decades since the time of the original, Lydia, played by Winona Ryder, is grown-up and has a daughter, Astrid, played by Jenna Ortega. The actress had memorably played Wednesday Addams in the Netflix series, Wednesday. As the protagonist, Astrid discovers the model of the town in the family homestead that is the portal to the Afterlife, triggering Beetlejuice. Willem Defoe plays a new character (Wolf Jackson), a jaded movie star in life who is now a deceased police detective! We’ll be seeing a lot more of the afterlife and its denizens in the sequel, including Bob, the guy with the shrunken head we last saw sitting in the waiting room with Beetlejuice.

The original film used practical special effects rather than CGI, which gave the movie its distinctive and striking award-winning design. Michael Keaton to his credit insisted that practical or handmade special effects likewise be used in the sequel to preserve the flavor and continuity of the series.

So if you enjoy horror comedy, you may want to see the “Juice turned loose” in Beetlejuice 2. I feel like I’ve been waiting my whole life for it! It gives a whole new meaning to the expression, “spill your guts!”

Categories: alternative realities, cool things, movies, paranormal, spooky, weird
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Comments: 6 Comments

Toon In With Me…

August 15, 2024

There’s a strange live-action/animated anthology TV series hosted by “Bill” (Bill Leff ) , MeTV’s “cartoon curator,” along with his puppet friend, Toony the Tuna. One does not often see a fish co-hosting a TV show, much less a talking fish apparently comfortable out of water, but Toony manages. Toony even sports wardrobe changes!

Each show contains four to six animated shorts taken from classic cartoon shows, including Looney Tunes/Merrie Melodies, Tom and Jerry, Betty Boop, Popeye, Woody Woodpecker, and a number pf others. The shows featured mostly aired from the 1950’s through the 1990’s. In between cartoons, Bill and Toony banter about what the cartoons illustrate, as well as issues around the studio. The show can be mildly educational at times…

While the MeTV show airs early weekdays in many areas for just an hour, a more comprehensive 24-hour a day version called MeTV Toons began in late June, and is available through subscription, or if you’re fortunate enough may be available through your cable package in your local area. Several complete episodes are available for free through YouTube. At any rate, it’s nice to see a series dedicated to the airing of classic ‘toons, and we’ll just hope that Toony doesn’t wind up in a casserole or someone’s sandwich…

Categories: alternative realities, animal spokepersons, anthropomorphic, aquatic, cartoons, fish, television, Vintage
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Comments: 15 Comments

“Feed The Pig” Chase Commercial…

July 6, 2024

I find the “Feed The Pig” PSA commercial creepy, surreal, and oddly disquieting in that it features a human-sized pig, the walking and riding embodiment of a piggy bank, going about with a gaping slot in his head! The pig’s eyes are disturbingly human, while his face is frozen, and plastic-looking.

There is something terribly wrong here! With the gash in his head, the commercial makes me wonder who did this to the pig?! Is there some kind of Dr. Mengele or Dr. Moreau who goes about performing brain surgery on porcine members of the furry fandom, or what? What is the purpose of this mutilation? This pig walks, but is he brain-damaged? For some insane reason, this pig appears happy, and is just going about his business…does the pig even know what’s been done to him, or is he too neurologically-damaged?!

In the commercial, a young man shopping receives a text message that his bank balance is low, spots the pig walking along, and then hastily pursues him through a variety of scenes, the pig at one point riding a motor scooter, riding on an escalator, and in another appearing on a subway. The chase continues through the food prep area of a fine dining facility, and through the restaurant itself. The young man is in hot and frantic pursuit, dodging traffic, and even vaulting over a yoga class in a park to the sound effect of the Bionic Man, Steve Austin, jumping…

Eventually, the guy catches up with the pig outside a residence, tackles him, and stuffs a currency bill into the slot on his head! They are surprisingly polite to one another. “Same time next week?,” asks the dude of the the pig. “Well of course!,” the pig obligingly replies…

Created by the American Institute of CPAs and the Advertising Council in in the U.S., the Feed The Pig series of commercials is designed to get young people saving. I get it…but it’s also nightmare fuel! (*shudders*)

Categories: absurdities, advertising, alternative realities, anthropomorphic, commercials, fantasy, furry, furry commercials, furry television, television
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Comments: 3 Comments

Parasyte: The Grey…Tentacled Horror!

April 13, 2024

I’ve always loved SyFy horror, and the Netflix series Parasyte: The Grey is of that tradition. We’ve seen bits and pieces of like materials before, in such films as Invasion of the Body Snatchers and even Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan. You can watch the spiny little pods descend, and their worm-like spawn wiggle their way into people‘s ears, causing their brains to be consumed, and the hosts to become imitations of the people they once were…but with the capability of emanating deadly tentacles from their heads!

There’s something about tentacles that are Lovecraftian, alien, and deeply disturbing, especially when they’re topping off a human body!  These tentacles are powerful, capable of extending themselves to great lengths, moving heavy objects, and cutting through or slicing through flesh.  It‘s 100% nightmare fuel…

But one young woman assaulted by a psychotic slasher has her assailant terminated by an alien, and is unable to be assimilated because the alien expends too much of its time and energy healing her wounds, leaving her brain and humanity intact while conferring alien powers, and kind of co-habiting with the alien in her body. She uses these otherworldly capabilities to work with the humans (Korean) to fight against the aliens, and some glorious tentacled fights ensue…

The special effects are good, and oddly compelling...and who doesn’t enjoy a good tentacled fight, anyways? 🦊

Categories: aliens, alternative realities, horror, sci fi, television
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Comments: 10 Comments

“There’s Something In The Barn“ on Netflix…

March 24, 2024

Yes, there’s something in the barn, and it’s not a moo-cow but rather a Norwegian barn elf in this black horror comedy that plays like the movie Gremlins run through National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation…

It seems that a rather annoying American millennial-type family has inherited a Norwegian farm estate where their distant relative died trying to expel or exterminate the barn elf, succeeding only in dying a fiery death. Oblivious to Norwegian traditions and mythology, the Griswold-type family tries to impose gaudy American holiday traditions on the estate in the process of converting it to a bed-and-breakfast type inn…

This serves to make the barn elf angry, as they are creatures that despise change, bright lights, noise, and modernism in general. Only the family’s pre-teen son Lucas understands this, solely believing in the entity, and forging an alliance with the being by giving it cookies. If you are nice to such an elf, they will do service to you such as remove snow and split and stack firewood. Offend an elf, however, and open warfare results, with the mythical beings being able to call in reinforcements of their fellows…

You wouldn’t like such elves when they are truly angry. They are tribal, not adverse to killing, and will use primitive and environmental weaponry. When they stumble into your liquor cabinet, they’ll indulge themselves, and throw raucous parties…

The Americans are guided in their struggles by an expert in Norwegian folklore, who chides them with such admonitions as “This isn’t America. We don’t go about shooting each other in the faces!” A sensible people, Norwegians prefer negotiation.

Cookies are also powerful negotiation chips, if used in a timely fashion. Proper respect for folkloric beings is always in order, too. So be nice to your barn elf, should you have one… 🦊

Categories: absurdities, alternative realities, anthropomorphic, fantasy, horror, humor, movies, Mythological
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Comments: 10 Comments

The Robotic Ghost Furries of “Five Nights At Freddy’s”

March 16, 2024

There is now a 2023 movie based on the popular video game, Five Nights At Freddy’s. For those who have been living in a cave, Freddy’s envisions a closed and decaying 1980’s kiddie pizza emporium much like Chuck E. Cheese’s where the animal-resembling members of the house robotic entertainment band continue unnaturally to lumber around, stalking and killing intruders on the premises…

Now I’ve seen one of these animal robot bands performing in Florida, and it was creepy, because budget-level animatronics do not approach Disney World standards, and the robotic animal performers don’t move fluidly. Because of this, cartoon-like animal robots make suitable fodder for horror movies, kind of like Jason or Freddy with creaky hydraulics…

I’m usually not a fan of video games turned into movies, but this one is not without its moments, probably because I am a damn furry, and likely wouldn’t mind spending my afterlife as Foxy, the robot pirate-fox. Just be kind to him, because he’s been knocking around since the 1980’s unattended and without proper maintenance. Foxy is the worse for the wear, much like I myself…

The robots, ‘ya see, are inhabited by the spirits of deceased children who mysteriously vanished. While they are murderous, their mayhem is not graphically rendered on screen, and one reviewer termed this an introduction to horror movies for the video game generation, “baby’s first horror movie.” There are some novel concepts here, even if the film itself is not especially scary. This probably would have been better suited for presentation on the SyFy channel instead of the big screen, but it did play well in theaters. Similar themes were developed in The Banana Splits Movie, which didn’t have a video game pedigree. But catch this one on Amazon Prime if you have it. It’s fun, but won’t haunt your dreams. It just can’t be taken seriously, but there’s nothing wrong with that, and robotic furries are a kick…

(Foxy’s looked better, but haven’t we all?! And I could definitely get into the Robo-pirate fox scene, yarr! Lower yer flag and stand by to be boarded by the scourge of the Seven Seas, Matey!) 🦊

See y’all at Freddy Fazbear’s…or maybe the funny papers!

*Laughs hysterically and is taken away by nice young men in clean white coats* 🤪

Categories: absurdities, alternative realities, anthropomorphic, biomechanical, Brilliant but twisted, fantasy, furries, furry, furry films, furry movies, horror, humor, Questionably creepy, twisted reality
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Comments: 6 Comments

NJM’s “Private Eye” Commercial…

March 14, 2024

Private eyes…gumshoes…private dicks….I’ve always loved ‘em, especially in retro versions, or neo-ones like Rorschach of Watchmen. So when I saw this private eye walking into a dimly-lit diner, soft jazz playing in the background, this fox was hooked…

This private eye had the full look, complete with fedora and trench coat. His client, however, was an oddball…not that I should talk…and what exactly was he? When I first glimpsed him, I thought that he looked like ALF, the Alien Life Form popular for a few years on 80’s television. He seemed at first to have an elongated snout, and was definitely a furry…

…but no, not ALF. Maybe some kinda bovine, I dunno. Anyway, the detective brought him the information he sought, but he wasn’t gonna like it. It seems, ‘ya see, that NJM only had their customer’s best interests at heart, and there was no way that the mascot client could compete with that…

And ALF, I still remember ‘ya, buddy…but don’t even think about eating my cat!

Categories: advertising, alternative realities, anthropomorphic, furry, furry commercials, television, twisted reality
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Comments: 2 Comments

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