I find anthropomorphic walruses rather unsettling, although I’ve seen some portly balding dudes with brushy mustaches who rather resembled walruses; think Wilford Brimley! NJM has brought us some rather outstanding anthropomorphic animals in the past, including a standout ferret. He was a winner, whereas this guy is just disturbing…
In the commercial, the lady announces to her walrus dinner-date who symbolizes her former insurance company that she is breaking up with him, and going with NJM, a company that the walrus notes does not even have a mascot. The walrus is disturbed, and leaves in a huff, announcing that he is not then paying for dinner! The lady says that this is fine, as she’s saving moneywith NJM.The walrus waddles off in a huff, leaving us to notice the amazing details in his costume, flippers and all. I just think that the commercial could have gotten more into some walrus behaviors, like having him throw down an entire raw fish for dinner.
It’s important to remember that no actual walruses feelings were hurt in the making of this commercial.- – Goo goo goo joob!
As the movie Lamb showed us, sheep have been, well, shorn of proper respect and attention in the animal kingdom. They have untapped potential as pets and child-surrogates. This is brought to our attention in a recent commercial for Volkswagen’s Tiguan.
So what happens when you allow a wayward sheep into your VW Tiguan, and take him home with you? Well, he or she becomes much like a dog, hanging out the vehicle’s window, and making themselves at home in your home, demanding walks, drinking from the toilet, making a mess when you’re away, and adorably taking a bath while bleating.—Ahh, the many joys of pet-parenting!
Life gets bigger, you see, when you break from the herd. So “make your own kind of music.” Who am I to judge? Just don’t call your new ovine pet Lambchop. They might get the wrong idea…🐑
The Great Wolf Lodge commercials can be somewhat disconcerting. They are enormous wolves, you see, of a size that makes even dire wolves look wimpy. Fortunately they are friendly, and you ride them like oversized horses to the Great Wolves Lodge resorts…
A mother leaves work to find a Great Wolf waiting for her, and so rides him to pick up her son at school, even though the son would be barely a morsel for the wolf should he turn predacious. But not to worry! These wolves are just the iconic mascots for the family indoor water parks, which started in Wisconsin in 1997, and now have 19 locations…
Nothing brings the pack together like a trip to one of their indoor water resorts, so the commercial’s tagline is to “strengthen the pack!” We may all be grateful that these fantasy wolves are both imaginary and quite docile… 🦊
We seem to be posting a lot about wolves lately, but hey, Halloween is coming, and we gotta run with the pack, so to speak. So much has been written about Little Red Riding Hoodthat it’s practically a cottage industry, which may be appropriate since Grandma kinda lived in a cottage, don’t ‘ya know?
Well, Little Red here might be little, but she’s kinda hawt as well, and she sure ain’t no fool…no Big Bad Wolf is gonna pull one over on her. Going through those creepy old woods to Grandma’s house, this Little Red (Mikayla Roberts) fears no evil. So when she reaches Grandma’s house, she whips out her cell phone and places an Amazon order, which miraculously arrives almost instantaneously in time for deployment.
The Big Bad Wolf arrives, too…a magnificent, snarling version in white. But when Red deploys the dog toy that she has purchased, Wolfie becomes a good boy, jumping and playing with the toy in total delight! We’ve seen a similar transformation in such films as The Bad Guys, when Mr. Wolf just can’t help wagging his tail when called a good boy. There’s no such thing as a bad boy, really, right?
The actress playing Grandma isn’t exactly an elderly, bedridden-cripple either, but looks to be a pretty hip and vital lady. Well-played update on an old timeless classic, Amazon!
The Big Bad Wolf continues to find new life in fresh incarnations, and this minute-long anti-smoking promo, while five years old, may have passed most of us by, and so bears visitation…
The Wolf here is kind of a pathetic figure, living a solitary existence is an apartment with a bare refrigerator. Seeking food, he gets in in his car, guided by his GPS, and goes to Straw City, which is populated by…surprise, pigs!
Now the Wolf used to be a seriously bad dude, you can tell by his leather jacket…but alas, years of smoking have so depleted his lung power that he now is incapable of blowing down their straw dwellings. Initially afraid, the pigs now look at him with a mixture of wonder and almost pity. Old Big Bad ain’t so bad anymore. One pig is so unconcerned that they walk past the Wolf while wearing headphones….
It’s too late for this Wolfie. He extracts a pack of cigarettes as he walks away, self-defeated. So toss the cigarettes…they ain’t no good for you! We preds have to keep our game up, ‘ya know… 🦊
In a Sandofi commercial for Fluzone, the disease is personified as a ravenous wolf stalking people in various settings with ill intent. The notion of “the wolf at the door” is historically a longstanding one often used to represent all kinds of hardships and deprivation, from war to famine to disease.
The attempted predations of the realistic and sizeable wolf depicted here are repeatedlyfrustrated in this commercial by the simple fact that his intended victims have been immunized. Eventually he becomes a wolf on the run, rendered impotent by the simple fact that the people he surveys and passes have been protected…
And so we finally see our wolf retreating to the extent that he’s looking out the rear window of a bus. I don’t know what fare he was charged, but think that being immunized is a good idea lest you be visited and victimized by the flu wolf…
I’ve never had an emu work on my vehicle, but I could argue that some gorillas have. We’ve all been at the mercy of garages and mechanics. Even the venerable Plymouth Duster chariot used by the dynamic duo of Doug and the LiMu Emu occasionally needs work, and in the Liberty Mutual “Tools” commercial, we are taken inside a garage housing a BatCave’s worth of assorted vehicles, all the brand’s trademark “banana yellow” color. I mean, there’s a motorcycle, some kind of utility vehicle, and even Skidoo-type things…
Doug is hard at work beneath the chassis of his Duster, but is he up to the job? – – Nope, and neither is the Emu, who hilariously brings his human partner the wrong tool specified for each step of the job. When asked for a socket wrench, the Emu brings a hammer. When a blowtorch is requested, LiMu deposits a stuffed animal into Doug’s hand…
At the end of his efforts, Doug somehow manages to extract what appears to be a distributor from the bottom of the vehicle! “LiMu,call a mechanic” are Doug’s closing words. Clearly one is needed to prevent this Duster from entering the dustbin…
The LiMu Emu and Doug are best buddies who dress identically, and have a long-standing history, the details of which we someday may learn…or perhaps it’s best not to ask!
Jurassic World Dominion, the sixth film in the franchise, is set to open June 10th, and so it’s timely that Progressive Insurance’s iconic Flo and Jamie characters are shown at a drive-in screening the film. What makes this viewing different, however, is that the dinos are apparently able to walk off the screen and into the real world, a T-Rex doing just that, smashing and flipping vehicles at the outdoor movie event…
Chaos ensues…Flo and Jamie, however, are totally nonplussed as they stand by their RV, trading quips about how stinky dinosaurs are. With home, auto, and RV insurance bundled, they’ve got the situation covered, and will handle the cleanup. It’s all cool, they’ve got it taken care of , and it’s just part of a day’s work for your insurance professionals. They’ve been there, and done that…
Jamie notes how this shows why you should always go to the bathroom before the movie begins…and Flo is probably scarier than any T-Rex, anyways… Rawrr! 🦖
In a series of Progressive commercials, we are introduced to a sagely and much-needed therapist, Dr. Rick, who counsels people how not to become their parents. He’s kinda like Dr. Phil, but with a specialty practice, and more hair…
Now parentomorphosis is a terrible but common disease. No one wants to become like their parents, but let’s face it, your genes predispose you that way, and you’re environmentally shaped. If you’re not careful, you may some day be seeking out Early Bird specials at restaurants, and looking to buy comfortable, practical shoes...
Dr. Rick both conducts group therapy, and takes his clients into real life situations. It is there that he can stop his charges from giving unwanted advice, telling the waiter their name, or gawking at people with their hair dyed blue. “We all see it,” Dr. Rick tells the staring client…
So if you have a bag containing bags (and oh God, I do!), you may be in need of Dr. Rick’s help lest you transform into your parents. I do hope that it’s not too late for me… 🙀
We’ve seen the fairy tale-inspired commercials of Nature’s Own breads before, and they’re great, spinning off from the Goldilocks saga with the Three Bears, and the Three Little Pigs tale, enjoying a french toast breakfast with the Big Bad Wolf. Well, now we have a version of Little Red Riding Hood, and it’s equally good and memorable…
The wolf that traipses to the cottage door here is large, muscular, and formidable in appearance. Granny inside is clearly no match for him. Entering the dwelling, the wolf licks his chops…is he anticipating an easy meal of Granny?
But no…it’s an easy meal with Granny! When Little Red makes her way to the house wearing her signaturegarb, the wolf is seated peacefully at the tablewith Granny, the perfect gentleman! Why kill Granny when she’s the perfect sandwich-maker, after all? Little Red enters the door and beholds the unexpected scene, her eyes wide. “What big eyes you have!,” comments the wolf to Red, in a perfect role-reversal.
See, isn’t this nice? Granny, Little Red, and the Wolf all seated amicably at the table. Why make war when you can make a sandwich? Perhaps Putin could heed this counsel…
FOXSYLVANIA 
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