Archive for the ‘absurdities’ category

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Mythology and Dr. Pepper…

January 16, 2012

 – – Some Diet Dr. Pepper commercials have recently featured mythological characters, including Sasquatch, Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, a leprechaun, an alien, a merman, and others.  The stop-motion features evoke the Rudolph specials of old.  The underlying notion is that it’s as hard to get people to believe in a satisfying diet drink as it is to sell them on the notion of the existence of legendary or mythological figures.

In one version, the unlikely and fantastic characters are seated in a circle of chairs as part of an “I Exist!” support group, listening to Santa complaining about not being believed in by his core constituents…another version re-unites this cast, also bringing forth a unicorn and a merman, the latter introduced as the boyfriend of the tooth fairy…the merman gets so taken with the flavor of Diet Dr. Pepper that he breaks his aquatic container with an enthusiastic rap of his trident!

Perhaps I can find a local chapter of the I Exist support group…heaven knows I need the validation! 



Categories: absurdities, Brilliant but twisted, furry commercials, television
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The Yodeling Cat…

December 28, 2011

— Some have referred to the Yodeling Cat as being “creepy” or “disturbing” or even “horrifying,” but the holiday season seems to spawn such things,  and one may see the creepy and disturbing prowling the aisles at Walmart anyways, so I welcome this white-furred warbler as a twisted commentary on where the excesses of Xmas can lead us. It’s also perhaps the most significant intrusion of yodeling into pop culture since the late great Andy Kaufman  yodeled to an African drum rhythm,  or yodeling was used as a potent weapon against alien invasion in the movie,  Mars Attacks!  

As one who loves dementedly random things as well as juxtaposition,  by extension I’m also led to wonder if perhaps by yodeling we who are furry might also also use it as a force for societal change, or at least by yodeling cause Donald Trump’s head to explode as those of Tim Burton’s aliens did.- – It’s worth a try…

We’ve come a long way since the 1955 novelty hit, “Jingle Bells” by the Singing Dogs, right?– No, I didn’t think so either…

Categories: absurdities, animals, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, furry, furry commercials, television
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Cabela’s “Big Game Hunter” Buck

December 13, 2011

 – – I don’t like hunting, even in its video game incarnations since the goal is killing the most helpless, majestic animal that you possibly can.  The commercials for the PS3 version of the product, however, are a hoot, featuring as they do a sentient and articulate buck who sits on the couch while playing the game and winging comments at his human host as he does so.  In one commercial version (not depicted) the buck even mocks an outrageous sweater that the host is wearing!

While it’s arguably creepy that a deer would be depicted killing other animals including his own kind, perhaps he’s just imitating his human models…and I’ll take as much of a deer trash-talking humans as I can get!

Categories: absurdities, animals, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, furry, furry commercials, television
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Fox Guarding the Chicken House?

December 2, 2011

 – – People are forever saying don’t let the fox guard the chicken house, presuming that if such occurs we are going to eat our charges.  Not all foxes like to eat chicken, however, I myself greatly preferring pizza, cheese steaks, Chinese food, or even a nice peanut butter and jelly sandwich!  The notion that mayhem will ensue when a fox guards a hen house is just another of those vicious stereotypes, and you know that we all are subject to them in some way, shape, or form…tell me about it!

What then usually happens when a fox guards a hen house? – -Well, we often wind up playing board games, usually simple ones as chickens are relatively mundane creatures not celebrated for their intellect.  I also find that I occasionally have to let the chickens win at the games lest they become unduly frustrated, and then I’ll have to listen to their knock-knock jokes, or something equally abhorrent!

…now you know, and perhaps one of you will be kind enough to send in a relief for me the next time that I’m called upon to guard a chicken house…it’s really no picnic!

Categories: absurdities, fantasy, feathered friends, furry
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The Mario Tanooki Suit Controversy…

November 22, 2011

 – – It’s best not to look to the long-running Super Mario Bros. video game series for biological authenticity, or you may stomp on a turtle’s head and anticipate seeing a coin materialize out of its behind.  I confess to having played Mario Bros. in my day, and I also confess to liking the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, and agreeing with many of their positions.  There are times, though, when PETA can become a bit, err, overdone.

The point of being over the top may have been reached in PETA’s opposition to the Tanooki suit as worn by the character of heroic plumber Mario in Super Mario 3D Land.  Now an actual tanuki is an animal native to Japan that looks like a raccoon but is more closely related to a dog, and by wearing a “Tanooki” suit, PETA feels that Mario is sending the message that it’s OK to wear fur.  While at points in the video game Mario dons a raccoon-ish looking “Tanooki” suit that enables him to float in the air and swat bad guys with his tail, he is never shown slaughtering an animal to get the suit; rather, Mario acquires the suit magically from hovering squares in the air. 

In protest irregardless, PETA has created its own game called “Super Tanooki Skin 2D” in which a skinless Tanooki chases a sinister-looking Mario who is in a fur suit dripping with blood and adorned with a raccoon-like head.

Nintendo’s response to PETA’s claims has been that Mario often takes the appearance of certain animals and objects in his games, with such things having included a frog, a penguin, a balloon, and even a metallic version of himself.  The whimsical transformations are intended  to give Mario different abilities and to make the games fun to play, with no statement intended beyond the games themselves…

Categories: absurdities, animals, furry, strange
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Mainstream Misfit Toy?

November 7, 2011

– – As most of you are probably aware, kids have an almost endless fascination with bodily functions, so I suppose it was almost inevitable that a game was developed that involved a plastic dog and, err, bodily function number two.- – I swear that I am not making this up!  Contestants feed the dog plasticene, work a pump, the plasticene is processed through the plastic dog, exits the appropriate end with flatulent sounds, and the player who winds up with the most doggie doo’s wins the game!- -Won’t that be a great preparation for adult life?- -Should be a real winner at church functions and below the old Xmas tree this year!

 

The concept for the game has been in existence for about 15 years, although rudimentary standards of taste and questions of corporate image kept it from being further developed and marketed in the U.S. until recently.   Europe, however, knew how to appreciate a toy dog with excremental functions, and the game has been a runaway hit there.  Now you too can buy Doggie Doo in this country, and the game featuring a poopy dachshund is poised to be an American hit, available at major retailers this year…

Categories: absurdities, animals, furry, strange, trends
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Giant Robot Attack!

November 4, 2011

 – – I, for one, have always been concerned about my vulnerability to attacks by giant robots, and therefore am comforted that State Farm has me covered in this contingency. 

Perhaps inspired by rival Allstate’s Mayhem commercials, State Farm in its “State of Chaos” spot depicts some poor devil called Dwayne whose house is getting torn apart by a giant robot which bears a suspicious resemblance to “Atlas” from the video game,  Portal 2.   First his car gets decimated, followed by his house, and then Dwayne himself is plucked up in his Lay-Z-Boy!  His friends stand by and act like the spectacle is the coolest thing that they’ve ever seen.  And fear not, Dwayne is safely deposited in his easy chair atop a neighbor’s SUV…”Nice landing!,” comments one friend.


I’d consider being offed by a giant robot a suitable way to go, if aliens or legendary monsters were not available.  A great sequel to this commercial might match the robotic colossus against Allstate’s Mayhem guy in a death match…I’d buy a ticket to that!


Categories: absurdities, Brilliant but twisted, cool things, sci fi, television
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Invasion Imminent?

October 27, 2011

 – – I wish to inform you of this in order that you might make proper preparations; a giant LEGO man has washed up on a beach in southern Florida!  This is not just some kid’s toy lost in the surf; no, this sucker is eight feet tall!  I regard this to be the advance vanguard of a possible invasion force, and accordingly it is something to be taken at least as seriously as a zombie apocalypse.  And just look at the expression on his face; LEGO man knows something, but he ain’t talkin’…and I doubt that you’ll be able to get the truth out of him!

Even more alarming is the fact that several years back, another giant LEGO man washed up in the Dutch resort of Zandvoort…the same figure also appeared at a Brighton beach in the United Kingdom.  The Assistant Brand Relations Manager at LEGO has declined to comment, but did say that the “stunt” was “in no way endorsed or sponsored by the LEGO group or its affiliates.” 


Of course not!  The League of Nefarious Intent may be involved…

Categories: absurdities, strange, strange happenings, unexplained
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Of Amphibian Tongues and Arby’s…

September 21, 2011

 – – A recent Arby’s “Chicken Cravin'” commercial features a guy sitting with two friends who whips forth a frog-like tongue several feet in length to lap sauce from one friend’s face; I’m unable to find an image of the act presently, so have done the best simulation that I can.  Following the act, the two friends of the tongue-endowed wonder understandably draw their chairs away from him. 

General reaction to the commercial has been negative, with some denouncing the ad as “nasty” and “gross,” and others declaring their intention not to patronize Arby’s until the offending commercial has been removed!   Licking food from anyone’s face would generally not endear you to the person licked, and be considered a major social faux pas in polite and less-than-polite company; when such an act is committed with a tongue of amphibian dimensions, it becomes unappetizing if not seriously creepy…

Categories: absurdities, television, weird
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Old Spice “Swagger” Sea Captain and Squid…

September 16, 2011

 – – He’s self-described as not being a “well decorated sea captain who battles monsters on a large nautical vessel,”  but thanks to Old Spice’s Swagger, he smells like one!  The character we see depicted kind of plays out like Jules Verne’s Captain Nemo as seen on a bad acid trip…he walks into a room with a patently fake killer squid attached to his left shoulder at which the captain throws half-hearted punches throughout the commercial while endless gold treasure pours from his pants, quickly filling the room!

Apparently, Old Spice is trying a variety of spokesman, and this bizarre sea captain is part of a new ad campaign to “smell better than yourself.”  Smelling better than yourself may be fairly easy if you routinely smell like squid, and the squid in this one is wonderful, looking like a low budget creature feature creation from 1950’s or 60’s Chiller Theater type offerings.  I like the little guy, who features moving eyes, teeth, and flailing tentacles…the punches thrown at him don’t seem to faze the persistent squid much, and I keep waiting and hoping for him to remove a chunk from the captain.  Failing in this, perhaps we could arrange a steel cage death match for him with SpongeBob…

Categories: absurdities, furry commercials, humor, Invertebrates, strange, television
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