FOXSYLVANIA

I wish that I could be a beatboxing fox like Charlie Puth’s version in this Doritos commercial, but that’s not my part of the forest. I live in the literary section, a place of writers and dreamers…

Still, I respect their work. It means that my people have arrived, and that we are among you, gradually making inroads despite being a subculture. Our influx will be subtle but catchy, and you’ll hardly notice that we’re gonna Push It, as in this 2022 Doritos commercial that debuted during the Super Bowl.

A number of years ago, hardly anyone bothered with sloths, regarding them as boring, slow-moving shirkers who were about as interesting as watching grass grow. Today, they are regarded as hip, cute, and cool, almost in the vanguard of pop culture…and so it is that in this commercial, the sloth is kind of a headliner.

When a nature-watching young woman up in a tree drops bags of Doritos and Cheetos, they fall to the forest floor, and are cautiously crept up on by a sloth, who tastes one and finds it good, followed by a deer, a bear, water buffalo, and other animals, each providing a vocalization of their pleasurable surprise. When a crocodile comes along and opens his mouth to reveal a vocally talented red and black bird (Megan Thee Stallion), we have a full complement to perform the Salt ‘N Pepa “Baby Baby” refrain from “Push It…”

When the nature watcher descends from the tree to retrieve the scattered snacks, the sloth distinctly exclaims “Nope!,” and absconds with the Doritos, moving with surprising speed. A barely visible note at the bottom of the screen reads, “Do not feed to animals.” I prefer the ranch or nacho flavors, myself… 🦊