Archive for August 2012

Bear Mauling Fatality

August 29, 2012

– – A lone hiker was mauled to death by a grizzly bear on Friday in Alaska’s Denali National Park.  It was the first fatality from a bear attack in the park’s nearly 100 year history. 

Forty-nine-year-old Richard White of San Diego had been photographing the bear from a distance of about 50-yards away for about eight minutes when he was killed; a grizzly running at full speed could cover that distance in a matter of seconds, according to the Park’s superintendent.  The regulation distance between a hiker and a bear is a quarter mile. 

Other hikers found the victim’s backpack and bloodied clothing, and alerted park rangers.  A wildlife trooper shot and killed the bear on Sunday, and rangers recovered Mr. White’s remains.  A portion of the Park was closed following the attack…

 

Red Bull’s “Hunter” Commercial…

August 27, 2012

– – Man, the hunters hate this commercial with a passion, calling it anti-gun, anti-hunter, and even “sacrilegious.”  I could tell you other things they’ve called this ad, but we strive to be mostly family friendly here.  It’s the Red Bull “Hunter” commercial, alternately referred to as “Animal Killer!”  In the commercial, a hunter that could make Elmer Fudd look good goes into the woods, wearing a ludicrous outfit that includes a feathered cap, and whistling a tune.  There’s a bit of a commotion in the woods that we don’t see, but it undoubtedly involves a reversal of fortunes…

…next, the hunter is high-tailing it out of the woods, effortlessly pursued by a wild hog or boar.  It’s an easy chase; the buck-toothed hunter loses his gun then his pipe, and trips over a rock and falls flat, the boar not even breaking a sweat.  The hog, looking mildly amused, taps the prone hunter extracting his face from the ground on the back with his hoof.  “Hey, animal killer!,” says the hog, who continues to offer the hapless Nimrod a Red Bull energy drink.  “Then what?,” asks the clueless mighty hunter.  “Then run faster!,” patiently explains the victorious hog.- -Red Bull, you see, gives you wings!

I haven’t seen such a masterful rout and lambasting of a hunter since Bugs Bunny’s many humiliations of Elmer…  😉

Cheetos “Break Bot”

August 24, 2012

– – Science fiction has long warned us that technology is a double-edged sword with the potential to be used for either great good or great evil, and we see a little bit of both emerge in the Cheetos “Break Bot” commercial.   We are witness to a scene where two nerds/geeks together with the iconic Chester have constructed a robot apparently on their lunch break to feed them Cheetos when given the command of, “Cheese me!“- -Well and good, right?  The problem is that the homemade robot bitch slaps the recipient in the face following the delivery of the Cheeto…

…being that Cheetos are delivered, however, the one inventor tells the other, “I can live with it!,” and his companion is in full agreement.  We all suffer for our arts and passions, I suppose…

Cat People…

August 23, 2012

– – We’ve noted often the frequent presence and use of animals as commercial spokesmen; they’ve also made inroads into the world of fashion, with animals making increasing appearances as accessories for photo shoots of models.  Felines in particular are used, often held by or draped around the model.  

Then again, cats are elegant and stylish enough that they don’t really require a human presence.  When it comes to clothes, I think that cats can wear it well…don’t you? 

Giant Python Caught in Everglades

August 20, 2012

– -Burmese pythons are not native to the Florida Everglades but rather South East Asia; that fact, however, has not stopped them from becoming comfortable in South Florida, living long lives and growing to enormous size.  Such was recently demonstrated by the capture of a Burmese python measuring 17 feet, 7 inches and weighing in at 164 pounds.  The python was a female, who also is believed to have set a record by being pregnant with 87 eggs! 

What does a 17-foot long python eat?- –Anything it wants!  The snake in question had feathers in its stomach, and the species has been known to swallow animals as large as deer and even alligators.  With nothing stopping such a non-indigenous species, native wildlife are stressed and in trouble…

New Loch Ness Monster Photo?

August 17, 2012

– – I would be ever so happy if definitive, verifiable proof of any of the major cryptids were found during my lifetime that I could die happy!  Certainly the Loch Ness Monster is one of the major players in this field, with George Edwards recently submitting a new picture alleged to be the elusive creature.  Now Edwards, a sixty-year-old Scottish sailor, spends about 60 hours a week on the loch, providing tours on his boat, the Nessie Hunter IV.  He has been searching for the Loch Ness Monster for the past 26 years.  

The image is regarded by most skeptics to be a large sturgeon, although it appears to lack a serrated spine like the sturgeon.  Unfortunately, there is nothing in the picture to measure size against, such as a building or island in the background.  The photo, captured by Edwards towards the end of last year, is believed by him to show the back of one of the creatures…

The Aussie Hair Care Company Purple Kangaroo…

August 15, 2012

– – She’s a purple marsupial, has big doe-eyes, and almost resembles a muppet or Claymation creation…the Aussie Shampoo kangaroo, that is!  Despite the name, Aussie Shampoo products are made in Cincinnati, Ohio by Proctor and Gamble.  The manufacturing process for the floral-scented product includes use of the Australian Kangaroo Paw Flower extract.

Australian aboriginal legends have existed about a purple kangaroo since ancient times, and in 1924 a biologist named Le Souf made the claim to the amusement of the scientific community that he had found such a  creature, even sending specimens to be studied that turned out to be run of the mill wallabies.  In 2001 through DNA testing and photographic evidence a purple-necked rock wallaby was identified as a new species.  It seems that these animals have a purple dye that they secret from glands in their skin around their neck and face.  The dye quickly fades after death, a fact which made the animal hard to identify…

The Meshworm Chronicles…

August 13, 2012

– – I, for one, will sleep more easily tonight knowing that engineers have finally built a better worm!  Your tax dollars have been hard at work as engineers have created a robot that mimics a worm’s movements, and is capable of crawling along surfaces by contracting segments of its body.

This is not a genetic engineering thing as the creation, called the Meshworm, has no organic components; rather, it is a machine constructed of soft materials that can squeeze through tight places and mold its shape to rough terrain.  The Meshworm can also absorb heavy blows without sustaining damage with the worm-like motion reducing noise, making it suitable for reconnaissance purposes.

Work on the machine was carried out by researchers at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology and Harvard University in the U.S., and Seoul National University in South Korea.  The Pentagon’s Darpa research unit supported the Meshworm project, suggesting a potential military use!

Robotic military worms!–What won’t they think of next?!  As this mechanical worm uses an artificial muscle made out of nickel and titanium wire designed to stretch and contract with heat, don’t expect it to be an effective fish bait…but wouldn’t Robotic Worms be a great name for a band, or a Dark Horse comic?

Along Came A Spider…

August 10, 2012

– – If you are an arachnophobe, this tale is not for you!  It seems that a woman went to China’s Changsa Central Hospital complaining of itching in the left side of her face.–Well, it turned out that the source of her irritation was a spider which had been residing inside the woman’s ear canal for five days!  It had probably set up housekeeping.   The picture shows the actual spider before its removal…

Doctors used a saline solution to flush the spider out in order to avoid having it bite the woman, or burrow deeper into her ear!  Fortunately, the flushing technique was successful.  Speculation was that the spider crept into the woman’s ear as she slept,  brought in while her house was undergoing renovations.  Spiders can be quite the opportunists…

Spiders and insects are appearing in greater numbers this summer due to the warm weather and drought conditions across much of the United States.  As cold-blooded creatures, insects develop faster in heat conditions, producing more generations in a shorter time.   The Orkin folks and other exterminators ought to be able to get some memorable commercials out of this one!  And you thought the giant talking ants were creepy…

News With Bite, Too!

August 7, 2012

– – Talk about having a terrible, no good, really bad day!   Wallace Weatherholt, a 63-year-old airboat captain in the Florida Everglades, was giving a tour of the area on June 12th to an Indiana family and hanging fish over the side of his boat when a nine-foot alligator sank its teeth into his wrist, severing his hand.

The mutilated captain drove the boat back to its dock with one hand, and was promptly taken to the hospital.  His severed hand was found in the alligator’s stomach, but could not be reattached.  Six weeks later, the airboat captain was charged with feeding an alligator, a second-degree misdemeanor.  Arrested, Weatherholt faces a fine of up to $500 and a possible jail sentence.  He posted $1,000 bail since his arrest, and will appear in court later in August. 

The alligator was tracked down by officers of the Florida Wildlife Commission, and put to death shortly after the attack.  Laws against feeding alligators are intended to protect both animals and humans, as alligators when fed lose their fear of humans…