Archive for May 2012

Owl Abandonment…

May 29, 2012

– – Too many people tend to adopt exotic animals as part of a spur-of-the-moment craze, only to abandon them when the realities of their ownership hits home.  Sadly owls are one of the latest examples of this trend, with their popularity spurred by the Harry Potter movies and Harry’s owl, Hedwig. 

Now owls can live for twenty years and take a lot of care, including ideally a 20 foot aviary.  They need to be able to flap their wings multiple times before landing on a perch, or they may get a chest infection.  In spite of this, some have tried to keep them in apartments, becoming additionally distressed at the amount of feathers and droppings generated by the birds.  The result has been that in England and elsewhere, hundreds of pet owls have been abandoned and released into the wild, where they either starve to death or at best take over territory inhabited by smaller wild owls.  Owls are also winding up at animal sanctuaries in significant numbers where normally they would be relatively rare.

Harry Potter author JK Rowling has pleaded with fans not to keep an owl as a pet, urging them instead to sponsor an owl at a bird sanctuary where they may be secured a healthy and happy life…

 

Jack and Foxy on Frontier Airlines…

May 25, 2012

– – The course of true love did never run smooth, especially if your intended is of a different species than yourself, and a predator to your prey.  Such is an on-going story on Frontier Airlines ads, where Jack the rabbit has been hitting unsuccessfully on Foxy the fox.  In an offering airing recently, Jack asks other “spokesanimals” what his breath smells like (answer:  carrots…”Good, that’s what I was going for!,” responds Jack), and then inquires of the winsome vixen if she’d like to have dinner with a rabbit…

…”No,” replies the red fox, “I’d like to have a rabbit for dinner!”

“Waiter, check please!,” reconsiders the hapless rabbit…

FedEx’s “Enchanted Forest!”

May 22, 2012

– – The Enchanted Forest as envisioned by Psyop in a recent commercial is a wondrous place indeed, filled with sprites, smiling trees, and a variety of dancing, costumed anthropomorphic animals.  There’s even a fox, a remarkably tall and slender specimen wearing shorts and a top hat!  It’s essentially an environmental plug for FedEx clad as a fairy tale, and when those conventions are stripped away, we’re then left with electric trucks, recycled shipping materials, and lower-emission planes as FedEx’s contribution to the environment. 

The spot is 80% live action and 20% CGI at the onset, with an actual forest having been filmed in Washington state on the northern Pacific Coast.  The look is magical but not overly cartoonish, with a sing-songy soundtrack composed by a musical collective called Human which would be “perfectly at home in a 1950’s-era animated film,” according to the spot’s Senior Creative Director/Copywriter.  The animated characters are all fully CGI, and a wealth of fine detail may be seen in successive viewings of the spot, such as the fox character modestly covering himself when his outfit is taken away…

Vonage “Puppy Bundle…”

May 17, 2012

– – It’s like a scene from The Twilight Zone; two incredibly wholesome-looking people come knocking at the door of their new neighbors to welcome them to the neighborhood.  She looks like a Stepford Wife, and he looks like Enzyte Bob, or perhaps Rick Santorum…they ask the newcomers if they are ready for their new “bundle,” namely a service package for phone, TV cable, and internet; their smiles are so radiant as to be scary.  The twosome hold forth a bundled group of objects representing these services, and this grouping also includes a puppy, with the woman at the door holding out an adorable Golden Retriever puppy.  The commercial’s message is, “Don’t get bundled, get Vonage!”


The commercial has already drawn the ire of some Golden Retriever fanciers, who point out that the proper way to hold a puppy is not by its rib cage, dangling it in mid-air…

MiO “Croc Block” Commercial…

May 12, 2012

– – In yet another MiO Energy Drink commercial staged at the legendary Watering Hole bar, we are shown a lemur trying to make time with the giraffe girl previously seen in another commercial of the series.  With the world’s worst timing, the lemur’s efforts are ruined by the unwelcome intrusion of the hapless, unlucky-in-love crocodile character, who ruins the set-up by commenting that he thought he smelled the lemur in there, and asking the primate if he’s still living with his parents

…”You just totally croc-blocked me!,” complains the irate lemur.  “Oh!,” responds the clueless crocodile, who upon close inspection may be seen to be wearing a Lacoste shirt!  I live for stuff like that…sad, isn’t it?

MiO “Naked Mole Rat…”

May 10, 2012

– – I, for one, prefer not to see naked mole rats, especially when they’re in an obvious state of intoxication.  Strange sights are known to appear with some regularity at the Watering Hole, however, a bar or pub frequented by anthropomorphic animals in a series of MiO Energy Drink commercials.  

In this brief segment, previously-seen Rhino and Zebra characters are discussing how convenient the small water additives are to carry anywhere when the mole rat appears, naked but with certain mole rat, err, parts tastefully pixillated out.  The mole rat slides up onto the bar, wearing a checked hat and little red sneakers, and proceeds to shake his booty.  Where does the mole rat carry his MiO, asks the Zebra…the Rhino prefers not to think about it.- -One can hardly blame him!  Other characters from previous episodes such as the Cheetah are seen in the background…

Dairy Queen Bears…

May 5, 2012

– – Bears are sociable, party animals who enjoy indulging in a good Dairy Queen Blizzard…or so we might think from a DQ commercial which opens with a kid’s softball team called (- -what else?) the Bears who are in celebratory mode at a Dairy Queen following an apparent team victory.  They hold aloft a trophy in testimonial to this, and moments later we are shown a trio of bears who are likewise indulging in the same treat…

…these bears, however, effortlessly hold aloft a uniformed officer who had apparently been sent to seek them out! 

Attack of the Killer Shrimp!

May 2, 2012

– – Some people have bucket lists of things that they want to do before they “kick the bucket,” that is, die…but I have a list of things to be worried about or afraid of, and I’ve just added something to that list…Run, ’cause there’s an invasion of Asian Tiger Shrimp!  I can see a Saturday night movie on the SciFy channel coming out of this, folks…

Now Asian Tiger Shrimp are not hideous mutants or skilled in the martial arts, although I could see them developed as potential adversaries for the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. They are, however,  jumbo shrimp, which as George Carlin pointed out was an oxymoron.  These are big suckers, measuring up to thirteen inches long and weighing up to a quarter pound, and they are cannibalistic…that’s right, shrimp that eat other shrimp.- -Isn’t that redundant?

Also known as tiger prawn, the black-and-white striped creatures are showing up in the Gulf of Mexico and Southeast coast, and are preying on smaller, native sea life as well as competing for resources and carrying  diseases…a triple threat, if you will.  Scientists don’t know exactly how the Asian variety got to the Gulf Coast, but marine ecologists are looking into the shrimp’s DNA for clues, with breeding in the local waters or conveyance by ocean currents possibilities.

And if Asian Tiger Shrimp team up with Asian Carp, we could have seafood that would eat you…or at least take your computers for their young!  I’m paying protection money while I still can…