Archive for April 2011

New Aflac Duck…

April 30, 2011

 – – Say it ain’t so…the Aflac duck’s been canned!  Or at least the voice of comedian Gilbert Gottfried is following jokes he made on Twitter about the earthquake and tsunami in Japan.  Aflac, incidentally, gets 75% of its revenue from Japan, so Gilbert was history.

The new voice of the Aflac duck is Daniel McKeague, an advertising sales manager from Minnesota.  He reportedly will be getting a sum in the low six figures for a one year contract, one which is likely to be renewed

…maybe I could sing opera for a J.G. Wentworth commercial!

Obscure Cartoon Foxes…

April 28, 2011

 – – A character called Sly Fox appeared in a Warner Bros. cartoon produced in 1957 called Fox Terror.  Also appearing in this ‘toon and featured in it was Foghorn Leghorn, who thanks to Geico has been enjoying a bit of a renaissance lately.  Now Sly Fox was after some chickens for dinner, and sought to bypass the barnyard security system of Barnyard Dog by having Foghorn Leghorn distract and annoy the dog (–Foghorn annoying?–Now that’s a stretch!).  Anyhow, the fox never does get the chickens due to the interventions of a hyper little black rooster, and at the end Foghorn and the dog get wise to the fox, and run him out of the yard.  He’s shot, which fortunately is seldom fatal in the ‘toon world; the fox does dynamite both Foghorn and the dog, which has no long-term affects, either.

I love the way that Sly Fox is drawn, and you can see hints in the treatment of the figure of Wile E. Coyote.  Voiced by the great Mel Blanc, the fox wears several disguises and at times even sounds somewhat like Bugs Bunny.  One good lookin’ fox this, Sly regrettably only appeared in a single cartoon but should have been featured in his own show… 

The Urban Woodsman from Honda’s “To Each Their Own”

April 26, 2011

 – – Well, actually it’s called “Date With a Woodsman,” and it concerns a bearded lumberjack picking up his date in his new Honda Civic hybrid.  As the girl is walking up to the car, he has to tell his pet fox to ride in the back seat so that the girl can ride in the front passenger seat!   We then follow the couple as they shop in a general store for hiking boots and outdoor gear before going to a river or lake.  Later, we see the fox poking his head out of the car window, apparently enjoying the ride.  Last of all, the fox is seen reposing on a rock in the background of the woods (shown) while his master(?) is making a rather impressive wood sculpture for his date.

While the woodsman appears a bit on the err, rugged side (birds nest in his beard, for cripes sake!),  anyone who has a fox for a companion is keeping good company…now I wanna see the fox driving the Civic!

(…tip o’ the pen to carycomic for alerting me to this commercial!)


Goldfish Racing…

April 24, 2011

 – – Not to be confused with cat juggling, dwarf bowling, or submarine races, goldfish racing is one of those strange pseudo-sports activities that bars seem to be host to, alcohol making such things just that much more amusing.

In goldfish racing, cheap “feeder”-type goldfish normally sold to be fed to other pets are guided and encouraged by bar patrons to swim down water troughs the length and general width of plastic gutters with bottles and water guns.  This practice has brought complaints from the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, who contend that the loud noises and bright lights used during the practice scare the bejesus out of the fish.  In addition, some fish have reportedly been impaled with soda straws or even swallowed alive by the same notorious bar patrons.

PETA’s protests have caused one Tacoma, Washington bar to cancel its weekly goldfish races, while other similar establishments are still having fish start their engines…

Horning In…

April 22, 2011

 – – On the outer fringes of the bodily modification culture are those such as the “Vampire Woman” pictured who has had titanium horns embedded in her skull.  The woman, Maria Jose Cristerna, is a 35-year-old former attorney turned tattoo artist who resides in Guadalajara, Mexico.  Cristerna believes humans have only one life and should live it the way they want; she chose to reinvent herself as a warrior following an abusive marriage, seeing the horns as a symbol of strength.

Elsewhere, Eril Sprague, also known as Lizardman, had horns implanted in his head as part of a body-based art project to explore the idea of what it means to be human.  Horn implants are characteristically done by body-modification artists rather than doctors, who are reluctant to implant in the forehead as objects put there are likely to erode through the skin and pose infection risks…

…But wouldn’t a horned attorney be really intimidating?!

A Goat Walked Into a Music Store…

April 20, 2011

 – – It sounds like a set-up line for a really bad joke, but it actually happened at a piano store in the southeastern Idaho town of Ammon!  The goat is reported to have followed a woman and her child into the Piano Gallery on Monday.  The staff corralled the goat in a bathroom until animal control arrived.

Dubbed “Beethoven” for its apparent love of music, the goat is being held at the Idaho Falls Animal Shelter;  if it isn’t claimed, someone is ready to adopt it.

We would suspect that the goat was just looking for some sheeeet music for his kids


Werefoxes…

April 18, 2011

 – – On this night of the full moon, I find it appropriate to post about my fave were-animal, the werefox.  Now don’t get me wrong, I love werewolves dearly…some of my best friends, and all!  With the understandable excitement over werewolves, however, the other were-animals tend to be neglected a bityet fall into the same furry shapeshifting family.

Werefox stories are common to northern China, where they are seen to inhabit the netherworld between the material plane and the unseen dimensions.  They can take human form and mate with normal humans, although such people tend to turn into a zombie-like slave of the werefox;  (–heh, gotta get me some of those!).  Even while in human form, the werefox retains his or her fox tail, which can be a dead give-away when it pops out of clothing!  The werefox can also lose control of its human form when it sleeps or gets good and drunk.  This can pose a major embarrassment.

Werefoxes are not the strongest of the were-animals, and are accordingly not as likely to rip deserving individuals to shreds.  They are rather more inclined to mess with the heads of their intended victims, playing heavy-grade tricks on them or perhaps laying a curse on their sorry asses.  For this reason werefoxes are often associated with sorcery, and in Native American legends sorcerers preferred to shapeshift into this form. – – Can’t say that I blame them!

So support and respect your friendly neighborhood werefox, and give him his due…you may have found a clever and resourceful new friend!


Grin and Bear It!

April 16, 2011

– – During medieval times, animals were at times tormented as public entertainment through such displays as bear-baiting and what was termed the “horse and ape” spectacle; dogs were also trained to fight bears and bulls confined in a pit.  To add insult to injury, animals were occasionally even put on trial!   In 1499, a bear was charged with terrorizing villages in Germany.   Defense lawyers cried foul (not bruin), and pleaded that the defendant should be tried by a jury of its peers…peer bears, that is!

If,  however,  Yogi Bear is ever put on trial, I’d volunteer to be judge, jury, and Lord High Executioner…sorry, Boo-boo!

Stun Gun Hunting?

April 14, 2011

– – As technology continues to advance, it can lead us into ethical considerations previously unconsidered and perhaps unexplored that were in the past gray areas at best.  One such area is that posed by the possibility of the stun gun hunting of animals...

The value of Tasers and other electronic stun devices has been well established in police work and security applications as a non-lethal way of subduing and controlling non-compliant suspects.  Likewise, one can readily see the potential value of a Taser Wildlife Electronic Control Device such as has also been developed as a non-lethal way of immobilizing wildlife that has perhaps blundered into a human habitation area where its presence poses potential danger both to the animal itself as well as to humans present.  This non-lethal weapon can temporarily incapacitate moose, bears, and other large animals, and could be helpful to park rangers and wildlife officials; it’s a heavy-duty device which packs quite a wallop and costs about $2,000.

A disturbing question that has arisen is whether such a weapon might be used deliberately by private individuals seeking to practice “catch-and-release” hunting.  While it is unclear whether stun guns have already been used for this purpose, the potential for such abuse is real.  While stunning an animal without need is preferable to shooting it, such an action could easily be considered cruelty.  Human test subjects who have experienced stun guns almost universally describe the experience as painful and unpleasant, and the United Nations considers stun guns instruments of torture as they inflict pain.

The state of Alaska is accordingly moving to proactively outlaw the use of stun guns to zap wild animals for “catch and release” hunting in the state.  The weapon may still be used defensively, in emergency situations, or for purposes of further research by trained professionals.  State biologists have been using electronic animal control devices in Alaska since 2005.  Additionally,  while wild animals usually flee when hit with the current, there is no guarantee that they will do so…and one does not want to severely aggravate a grizzly!


Furry Celebrity Namesake

April 12, 2011

– – Barack O’Llama is a llama from ShangriLlama whose stable mates include Dalai Llama, Pajama Llama, and Bahama Llama.- -No, I am not making that up, and yes, that’s the most fun that I’ve had saying something in some time!

The family which owns the llamas specializes in offering hands-on llama tours in Yorba Linda, California where visitors may learn to walk and feed llamas and hang out with the peaceful, gentle animals.  Walking with a llama is said to be calming and even therapeutic, and the animals are popular with special needs groups…perhaps Congress could benefit!