Wrath of the Feline…

Posted May 21, 2011 by vulpesffb
Categories: animal behavior, animal occurrences, animals, furry
Tags: , ,

 – – Within even your common domestic house cat there continues to reside something  feral, something so awesome that we trifle with it at our own risk…and at least one man taken to the hospital might now tend to agree with me…

…while the details of the case are not well presented, it would appear that a man in Cleveland, Texas got into an altercation with a 20-pound feral cat that he found sitting in the living room of his house upon returning to it.   Scared, police said, the man grabbed a knife to try and protect himself from the cat, who seconds later is reported to have attacked the man in the bathroom.  Things got nasty then, with the 40-year-old man admitting that he stabbed the cat multiple times and the cat apparently giving back as good as she got, perhaps exploiting the man’s ineptitude with the knife and reportedly getting his pinkie really well; a claw and chaw operation!  When medics arrived, the man was bleeding profusely, and was rushed to the hospital in critical condition.  The cat was also in bad shape, but undaunted (“–Gonna mess you up bad!,” said the cat, “Bring it on,  pinkie!- -You blink, you bleed!- -Is that the best you got, suckah?- -You ain’t worth my time!”).

The feral cat was taken by animal control officers, tested for rabies, and was then euthanized…some say that as the lethal chemicals dripped into her veins, the cat seemed to be enjoying herself…she died a warrior, having fought bravely and well against another life form armed with a weapon who was about ten times her size!

“It is a far better thing that I do than I have ever done,” thought the cat as sleep took her, “it is a far better rest that I go to than I have ever known!”

“Welcome to paradise!,” roared Tatiana the tiger in greeting…

Comments: 2 Comments

– -The Fiendish Plot of Chuck E. Cheese?

Posted May 19, 2011 by vulpesffb
Categories: absurdities, furry, strange
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 – – from our ridiculous furry lawsuits dept:   I’ve always found there to be something vaguely disquieting about Chuck E. Cheese; maybe it’s in the eyes or the teeth, or maybe it’s just the idea of a giant rodent…is he allowed in the food preparation areas?  I’m not sure I’m comfortable with that… anyways, according to one mother suing the restaurant chain for a cool five million, Chuck E. has a darker agenda; promoting gambling addiction!

Yes, according to a San Diego mother of two, many of the games at Chuck E. Cheese locations are actually illegal gambling devices because they take 25 cent tokens which dependent on the score dispense tickets that can be redeemed for prizes.  The higher the score, the greater the number of tickets dispensed, and the better the prize.  The games often take only a few seconds to play, and some of them feature a roulette-type wheel.   Pretty soon, you’ve got a serious habit, and are betting away the lunch money…it’s a slippery slope, right?

Chuck E. Cheese attorneys are moving for a dismissal of the lawsuit on the basis that the games are legal and that the California legislature never intended to make operating a children’s arcade game a criminal act…and at least one gambling expert sees a difference between a game that awards tickets and one that pays out in cold hard cash.  

Comments: 4 Comments

Animal Smuggling…

Posted May 14, 2011 by vulpesffb
Categories: animal abuse, animal rights, animals, deplorable practices, endangered species, furry
Tags: ,

 – -We’ve posted previously here on Foxsylvania about the illegal trade in wild and exotic animals, including animal smuggling.  While it’s fairly common for one type of animal to be smuggled (snakes, spiders, etc.), some smugglers diversify and try to take a variety of different species out.

Take for example the case of a man arrested at Thailand’s international  airport May 13th after he was caught trying to smuggle wild animals out of the country.  The man, identified as a citizen of the United Arab Emirates, was trying to board a flight to Dubai when investigators found a baby bear, two leopards, two panthers, and at least two monkeys stuffed into his luggage!  Don’t ask me how…must have been some pretty big luggage!

The anti-animal trafficking group FREELAND said the man is believed to be part of a far-reaching animal trafficking network…

Comments: 2 Comments

Geico’s Stopping Buck…

Posted May 12, 2011 by vulpesffb
Categories: absurdities, furry commercials, television
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 – – It’s short, sweet, and effective:  Geico’s Buck commercial.  Asking whether switching to Geico can save us 15% or more on auto insurance, our announcer poses whether the buck stops here…then out on cue advances a magnificent buck, who stops precisely on the plain, unadorned stage; the buck turns his fully-racked head towards us, and the announcer, who expected nothing less, shrugs slightly.  There’s not a lot of special effects artistry here as in some of its others, but with its play on the familiar expression, Geico again makes it work…

Comments: 2 Comments

Hail the Mighty Thor!

Posted May 10, 2011 by vulpesffb
Categories: absurdities, Brilliant but twisted, cool things, humor, movies, strange, strange happenings, weird
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 – – There’s something strangely cool about dressing up in Viking gear and then going to dine in a fine restaurant or attending the opening of Thor so attired;  besides, who am I to judge, since I am, after all, a furry…whatever floats your boat!

Anyways, the Norse Hollywood Dining Vikings did exactly that, attending a screening of the movie in Glendale, California in a variety of chain mail and horned helmet regalia.  They usually do a restaurant gig, but a little change kinda keeps things fresh, and besides, what could be more appropriate?  Tony Swatton, de facto leader of the Dining Vikings, is a master blacksmith who designs custom-made weapons, armor, and props for television and film, including Thor.

So what if they look like they just made a Capital One credit card commercial?–I say may their cup of mead be always full!

Comments: 2 Comments

“Mongo-D” for Short…

Posted May 8, 2011 by vulpesffb
Categories: anomalies, creature features, cryptozoology, unexplained, unidentified, weird
Tags: , ,

 – – I, for one, find it easy to obsess over Mongolian Death Worms;  they are reputedly large,  homicidal red worms that spew fiery acid, burrow in one of the world’s largest and coldest deserts,  can reportedly electrocute unlucky things like camels and goat-herders from a distance, and for a finale, explode when they get angry! –What’s not to like, Mongo-D has it all!

Certain aspects of the biology of the Mongolian Death Worm are not unfamiliar; big worms are not uncommon, with Australia hosting earthworms that can reach five foot lengths.  Spitting acid is also fairly common among arthropods, to say nothing of my former supervisors.  Intestinal worms can also bring down an animal, although they need to be inside it to perform that feat.  It’s when you combine all of these attributes that you get a really cool, otherworldly-type of cryptid!

The subject of investigations by Destination Truth and even National Geographic,  the Mongolian Death Worm has never been found, leaving us only with eyewitness testimonies about them and at least one really bad movie…

Comments: 1 Comment

Advance Auto Parts Speed Training…

Posted May 6, 2011 by vulpesffb
Categories: absurdities, animals, Brilliant but twisted, furry, furry commercials, television
Tags: ,

 – – Failure is not an option for those participating in Advance Auto Parts Speed Training, at least not if you value your backside!  Imagine sprinting briskly across the African plain while hoisting a muffler to your shoulder…no picnic that, but it gets worse when you’re wearing a meat suit of raw steaks around your waist, and being pursued by a pack of at least five lions very interested in a luncheon!  That ought to get the employees to beat feet!  The performance of the guy first depicted is apparently at least adequate; he lives to draw salary another day, and earns a “not bad” comment from his boss waiting to pick him up in a jeep.  We are not shown the fate of the girl who follows next, a garland of meat around her neck…hope she ran track and field!

In a related commercial, we are shown battery installations practiced while free-falling from a plane; it’s almost as brutal as the performance reviews I used to undergo.   One suspects that Advance has a really interesting retirement plan…


Comments: 4 Comments

Language Applied to Animals…

Posted May 4, 2011 by vulpesffb
Categories: animal rights, animals, controversial, furry causes, psychology, science
Tags: , ,

– – I most resent the word “varmint” when applied to foxes and other animals; it’s degrading and disrespectful, and dates back to a time when animals were treated unkindly as little better than things; sadly, some still hold this viewpoint.  Language is a curious and powerful thing, and the label that we apply to a living creature shapes how it is permissible to treat them.  As a tool of classification, language then also becomes a device of control.

Researchers from the Oxford Center for Animal Ethics along with the University of Illinois and Penn State University suggests that using such words as “varmints,” “critters,” and “beasts” to describe animals degrades the relationship that can exist between them and humans by contributing to a mindset of animals being trivial, unfeeling, and inconsequential.   Instead, a language should be cultivated that shows mutually respectful relationships between humans and the animals which live among them.  I’m fully on board with all of this…

…where we separate the sheep from the goats (so to speak) is in the beliefs of some animal rights academics that pets should be renamed “companions,” and that rats are just “free-living;”  pigeons are simply “free-roaming.”   While I do consider my co-habiting animals as companions, this is my personal choice, and I happen to be an animal myself (this is not necessarily a bad thing)!  When political correctness kicks in, however, it’s often time to take a holiday before things get silly and I’m expected to garb my animal companions in clothing, which they would hate anyways.

What can perhaps be taken away from all of this is the thought that words are powerful, not because an animal understands the nuances of language or cares what you call them but because words can influence how your mind works, with language choice subsequently affecting human behavior towards animals as well as countless other things.  If you doubt this, consider that psycholinguistics has been at the core of every successful political campaign for the last number of decades, with labels determining perceptions and serving as a substitute for independent critical thought for many…

Comments: 2 Comments

Cartoon Cryptids

Posted May 2, 2011 by vulpesffb
Categories: animal oddities, anomalies, cartoons, furry, imaginary animals, weird
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 – – Gossamer is a hulking, hairy reddish monster somewhat reminiscent of Bigfoot who is part of the Looney Tunes/Merrie Melodies universe.  He wears enormous tennis shoes,  and has a heart-shaped face in which may be seen oval eyes and a wide mouth.  Beyond these features and dirty clawed fingers, little else may be discerned about Gossamer, whose primary characteristic is the trademark hair; indeed, Gossamer may be made entirely of hair!   He is anything but gossamer, a name referring to a delicate type of spider silk.

First appearing in the 1946 film Hair-Raising Hare, Gossamer was the henchman of a mad scientist who bears a strong resemblance to Peter Lorre; if you don’t know who that is, you don’t watch enough old classic films !  Anyways,  Bugs Bunny is lured by a mechanical female rabbit to the lair of the mad scientist to be a meal for Gossamer, but makes merry sport of the monster instead (“I’m always interested in meeting interesting people!,” Bugs tells the creature while working on his nails).  Gossamer is revealed to be frightened of people, who it must be admitted can be pretty frightening. 

Originally nameless, Gossamer was referred to as Rudolph in a 1952 short, and didn’t land the name Gossamer until such was bestowed on him by none less than Marvin the Martian in the 1980 Duck Dodgers feature.  Gossamer has enjoyed small roles in a number of Warner Bros. productions since…

Comments: 1 Comment

New Aflac Duck…

Posted April 30, 2011 by vulpesffb
Categories: animals, anthropomorphic, controversial, furry commercials, television
Tags:

 – – Say it ain’t so…the Aflac duck’s been canned!  Or at least the voice of comedian Gilbert Gottfried is following jokes he made on Twitter about the earthquake and tsunami in Japan.  Aflac, incidentally, gets 75% of its revenue from Japan, so Gilbert was history.

The new voice of the Aflac duck is Daniel McKeague, an advertising sales manager from Minnesota.  He reportedly will be getting a sum in the low six figures for a one year contract, one which is likely to be renewed…

…maybe I could sing opera for a J.G. Wentworth commercial!

Comments: 3 Comments

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