The Dogs of War…

Posted June 10, 2011 by vulpesffb
Categories: animals, cool things, furry, furry stories, historical perspectives

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 – – I think it was Shakespeare who in one of his history plays (possibly Julius Caesar) had a main character utter a line about “…cry havoc, and let slip the dogs of war.“–Well, the dogs of war are with us, they are valuable supports for our troops, and are doing really cool things, all the while looking great while doing it!  They do furry proud!

Consider that a canine commando came with the Navy SEALs team that nailed Osama bin Laden, arriving strapped onto one of the assault team members.  While the composition of that team is understandably kept secret, most likely the canine  involved was a German shepherd or a Belgian Malinois, although Labrador retrievers are also becoming popular.

There are over 2,700 canines in the military dog program who may function as specialized search dogs or combat trackers, moving ahead of the humans to find explosives or people that are hidden.  Dogs have seen military service for more than 100 years, seeing combat in the Civil War and World War I.  It was only beginning in 1942 that canines were officially inducted into the U.S. army, and today they are a central part of U.S. efforts in Iraq and Afghanistan…

Furry Friendly: The Stanley Steemer Man

Posted June 8, 2011 by vulpesffb
Categories: absurdities, Brilliant but twisted, television

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 – – Alright, he’s not the Green Lantern, but the Stanley Steemer technician is quietly awesome, a man who goes beyond dedication to outright fanaticism.  He is absolutely passionate about his job, in one spot throwing himself upon a trashed carpet by the curb and bewailing its fate.  “Why, WHY?!,” he moans with anguished soul.  I could have saved this one!- -I could have SAVED this one!,” he sobs as if in a Shakespearean tragedy. 

In another spot, the dedicated cleaner asks an associate if he’s ever cleaned up after an alpaca.  “It was awesome!,” he enthuses.  Evidently the carpet-cleaning needs of a home with multiple preschoolers, free-range chickens, and an alpaca are all in a day’s work for this unsung hero.

More recently, the Stanley Steemer man is regarding a carpet stain, and mentions that no mammal in the household will accept ownership of it.  “But now is not the time for blame,” he philosophizes, “now is the time for action!” 

He’s probably deranged, but I’m so glad that the Stanley Steemer man is on our side!

It Don’t Smell Like Roses!

Posted June 6, 2011 by vulpesffb
Categories: animals, furry, strange happenings, weird

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 – – A Minnesota man recently deployed a fox product against pranksters who had been toilet papering his property; he hit them with fox urine!–Hey, we didn’t ask to be a biological weapon!

After discovering 15 to 20 people on his soybean field armed with, err, toilet paper, the property owner ordered the teenagers to leave, swore at them, and finally unleashed a Supersoaker squirt gun filled with fox urine upon the group!

…now fox urine has a rather distinctive and putrid smell, so much so that it is used to discourage rodents and other pests from trespassing.  It may therefore be judged equally unpleasant as an aftershave or body spray for young people.  The fox pee gunslinger now faces charges of fifth degree assault and disorderly conduct related to the incident.

Fox urine, by the way, is also a good repellent for rabbits, skunks, squirrels, possums, and woodchucks, and is also available as a less messy shake away powder which works longer, smells stronger, and won’t evaporate, freeze, or soak into the ground the way regular fox urine does…better living through chemistry, right?


Strange Corpse Identified

Posted June 4, 2011 by vulpesffb
Categories: scalies, science, strange, strange happenings, weird

 – – Something weird and disgusting that washed ashore near New York’s famous Brooklyn Bridge on May 21st has at last been identified…

…”What?,” you’re probably saying, “Did Fat Tony forget to weigh down a body again?!”

Not at all!  The over six-foot long body that was pulled from the East River in New York City has been identified by experts from the Riverhead Foundation for Marine Research and Preservation as a bony-plated Atlantic sturgeon...

…informers and other rats, however, will continue to sleep with the fishes!

Bears – “That’s Amazing” Geico Commercial!

Posted June 2, 2011 by vulpesffb
Categories: absurdities, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, cool things, furry commercials, humor, television

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 – – Worldly philosophers have long pondered the question, “Do bears (defecate) in the woods?”

Well, this one shown by Geico does…respectably, using a privy, of course!  And this bear is also equipped with a newspaper tucked under his arm and reading glasses!  Realizing that others may be waiting to use the facility, he leaves when his business is done.- -What more can the observing biker say other than, “That’s amazing!”

While perhaps not as brilliant but twisted as the gecko, caveman, or question guy commercials, this “amazing” furry commercial bears a look!– -With Geico, you never know what’s bruin

New Bigfoot Footage?

Posted May 31, 2011 by vulpesffb
Categories: anomalies, cryptozoology, unexplained, unidentified

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 – – Once again Bigfoot has reportedly been sighted, this time by hikers in Spokane, Washington.  The good news is that the sighting was filmed, the bad news is that the footage is again grainy,  unclear, and taken from a distance.   The hikers hadn’t even realized what they had come across until they went home and examined their footage, which was taken on an iPhone at Downriver Park along the Spokane river.  The unexplained…creature?…appears in the background at some distance from the hikers.

As to whether this is yet another elaborate hoax, a case of mistaken identity, or the real deal is unclear, but the walk of the unexplained creature appears well done…

Doritos “Mouse Attack” Commercial!

Posted May 29, 2011 by vulpesffb
Categories: absurdities, animals, Brilliant but twisted, cool things, furry, furry commercials, television

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 – – This commercial was actually crafted for initial display at the Super Bowl, and has been around a while but seems to be enjoying a renaissance, so we can benefit, too!  An apparently wealthy man enters his mansion-like home, wearing an immaculate suit and slicked-down hair.  As the opera “Carmen” plays in the background, this man of means baits a mousetrap with Doritos, places it before a classic mouse-hole, and then positions himself in a chair before the baited trap, presumably to enjoy the gruesome spectacle to follow.

The joke’s on Richie Rich, however.  As he stuffs his face with Doritos,  a human-sized mouse in a cheesy fursuit erupts from the wall and is briefly glimpsed bowling into the man, and knocking him and his chair completely over!  We then see the gargantuan mouse astride the prone man, pummeling him with both paws and landing some solid punches!- -Well done, oh mouse that roars!- –Furry Pride! 

 

Howl Hitler?

Posted May 27, 2011 by vulpesffb
Categories: animal oddities, animals, historical perspectives, strange happenings, weird

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 – – The Nazis weren’t much on human rights, but apparently were fond of animals and liked the idea that dogs were intelligent and could communicate with people.   According to a new book “Amazing Dogs:  A Cabinet of Canine Curiosities,”  Nazi specialists attempted to train an elite group of dogs regarded as intelligent to read, write, and speak!

Research from Cardiff University associate professor Dr. Jan Bondeson found that the Nazis collected pups from across Germany and put them through intensive training in the 1930’s at the Tier-Sprechschule ASRA (School for Dog-Human Communication) in the town of Leutenberg.  According to Dr. Bondeson, the hope was that the superior dogs would eventually communicate with their SS masters and act as the ultimate guard dogs. Where it gets really strange is in the contention that an institute-trained dog such as one named Rolf the Airedale could communicate with humans on such topics as  religion and mathematics by tapping out an elaborate code with his paw!  Another dog, Kurwenal, supposedly could crack jokes.

Hitler himself was widely recognized as a dog lover, and had two German Shepherds named Blondi and Bella.  Where talking dogs are concerned, we of course will always have Scooby-Doo…


Netflix Tiger and Bunny Commercial

Posted May 25, 2011 by vulpesffb
Categories: animals, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, cartoons, furry, furry art, furry commercials, television

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 – – In a Netflix commercial spot, a grouchy live-action grandpa intrudes into an animated world where a tiger and a bunny are cutely curled up together asleep.  “I’m not going to cry, am I?,” asks grandpa of the ‘toon characters.  “Only if you don’t believe in the power of friendship!,” responds the doe-eyed bunny sprightly.  “Really?,” counters the jaded and sarcastic tiger.  “You guys are good!,” the curmudgeonly grandpa says in parting from the cartoon duo, a ‘toon critter hanging on his back.

In the next scene, grandpa is back in the living room, begrudgingly watching the classically-styled animated cartoon movie with his wife and granddaughterThat’s so cute, it’s stupid!,” comments grandpa of the Disneyesque movie.  As we  well know, cute and stupid sells, and so does this clever Netflix ad that works on a variety of levels…

Coyote Attacks and Fear of Foxes

Posted May 23, 2011 by vulpesffb
Categories: animal behavior, animals, environmental, furry

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 – – Red foxes at times have an image problem; you know, that whole “crazy as a fox” thing and the business about leaving a fox to guard the henhouse.  In the minds of some people, foxes have also been tainted because of being incorrectly associated with coyotes, our larger canine cousins who can do some nasty things.  There were some coyote attacks in the state of New York last year.  Outweighing us handily, coyotes will also prey on foxes, and push us further into suburban subdivisions; they’re well supplied by Acme.

For the record, foxes don’t want to eat the  kids or pets of suburbanites; we do have our standards, after all!  Fox kits are born in late winter to early spring, when they come out of their dens to frolic ( lurking doesn’t come until much later with advanced training).  Because of the unpleasantness with coyotes, some people wig out when they discover fox families non grata in their yards.  Foxes adapt to suburbia quite well, and can find cover in hedges, under sheds, and in old woodchuck holes; we’ll even use more than one den.  Small rodents are a food source, although we’ll eat lots of other stuff as well. 

People needn’t panic, however; we’ll disperse if given a grace period or made uncomfortable; putting a chair or wheelbarrow near the current home might do the trick.  A State Department of Wildlife Conservation biologist suggests placing a radio near a fox den if you don’t want them about. 

Elevator music would send me packing in short order!