Doomsday Reprieve?

Posted December 4, 2011 by vulpesffb
Categories: controversial, doomsday, strange happenings
Tags: ,

 – – Alright, it looks like you may be able to relax a bit on December 21, 2012 after all!   That was supposedly the date when the Mayan Long Count calendar ran out, and all heck was supposed to break loose, culminating in the end of the world as we know it or hopefully at least of Facebook. 

Anyways, never mind!  A revisionist Mayan archaeology expert,  Sven Gronemeyer, says that his interpretation of certain hieroglyphs on a 1,300 year old  stone tablet found at Tortuguero in the Mexican province of Tabasco indicates that the 12/21/2012 date indicates the reappearance on Earth of the Mayan god of creation and war, Bolon Yokte, who will usher in a new  era on the planet, but not necessarily a destructive one.

That’s certainly a load off my mind!  I plan on putting together a nice fruit basket for the returning god, and then maybe we can organize a friendly soccer game or something…

Comments: 1 Comment

Fox Guarding the Chicken House?

Posted December 2, 2011 by vulpesffb
Categories: absurdities, fantasy, feathered friends, furry
Tags: ,

 – – People are forever saying don’t let the fox guard the chicken house, presuming that if such occurs we are going to eat our charges.  Not all foxes like to eat chicken, however, I myself greatly preferring pizza, cheese steaks, Chinese food, or even a nice peanut butter and jelly sandwich!  The notion that mayhem will ensue when a fox guards a hen house is just another of those vicious stereotypes, and you know that we all are subject to them in some way, shape, or form…tell me about it!

What then usually happens when a fox guards a hen house? – -Well, we often wind up playing board games, usually simple ones as chickens are relatively mundane creatures not celebrated for their intellect.  I also find that I occasionally have to let the chickens win at the games lest they become unduly frustrated, and then I’ll have to listen to their knock-knock jokes, or something equally abhorrent!

…now you know, and perhaps one of you will be kind enough to send in a relief for me the next time that I’m called upon to guard a chicken house…it’s really no picnic!

Comments: 2 Comments

Red Bull’s Zebra Commercial…

Posted November 30, 2011 by vulpesffb
Categories: animals, anthropomorphic, furry, furry commercials, television
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 – – Red Bull commercials generally impart the concept that by drinking Red Bull, the consumer acquires superhuman strength and abilities that allow him or her to perform an extraordinary feat.  One such commercial puts a furry twist on this theme by introducing a female zebra who is depicted having an unfortunate encounter with an alligator after she first applies lipstick and then downs a can of Red Bull.

Things do not look good for our fashionable zebra when she goes for a splash in a nearby river and is assaulted by an opportunistic alligator who goes into his death roll with her, a usual finishing move.  We assume the worst when the combatants disappear below the water surface, but fortified by Red Bull our heroine emerges a moment later, sporting…a new alligator purse!

Red Bull, you see, gives you wings…and females are considerably tougher than they look as well!

Comments: 5 Comments

Pray That The Avenger Will Come!

Posted November 28, 2011 by vulpesffb
Categories: animals, furry, things humans do
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 – – Pennsylvania’s two week general deer hunting season opens this Monday, November 28th, and it is estimated that 750,000 hunters will be out on opening day.  Hunters “harvested” 316,000 deer last year, down from the record of more than 500,000 taken in 2002…schools actually close for this unofficial holiday, tacking it on to students’ Thanksgiving holiday weekend…well, it ain’t no holiday for the deer!

…fortunately, however, there will be Rambuck!

Comments: 3 Comments

DirecTV’s “Frozen in Time”

Posted November 24, 2011 by vulpesffb
Categories: cool things, furry commercials, television
Tags:

 – – DirecTV’s “Don’t Just Watch TV” campaign continues with a great man versus wolves battle raging in a suburban home while a casually-dressed man walks unhindered along the perimeter of the combatants, pausing the action mid-fight as he wanders from room to room to get a drink, accept a pizza delivery,  and generally get more comfortable.

The episode, “Frozen in Time,” follows a fur-clad torch-brandishing arctic explorer as he fights off a ferocious pack of wolves in the midst of a raging blizzard.  The wolves are magnificent in live action, seamlessly integrated with a CG man…

…and I’m gonna keep watching until the wolves nail that sucker good!

Comments: 2 Comments

The Mario Tanooki Suit Controversy…

Posted November 22, 2011 by vulpesffb
Categories: absurdities, animals, furry, strange
Tags: ,

 – – It’s best not to look to the long-running Super Mario Bros. video game series for biological authenticity, or you may stomp on a turtle’s head and anticipate seeing a coin materialize out of its behind.  I confess to having played Mario Bros. in my day, and I also confess to liking the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, and agreeing with many of their positions.  There are times, though, when PETA can become a bit, err, overdone.

The point of being over the top may have been reached in PETA’s opposition to the Tanooki suit as worn by the character of heroic plumber Mario in Super Mario 3D Land.  Now an actual tanuki is an animal native to Japan that looks like a raccoon but is more closely related to a dog, and by wearing a “Tanooki” suit, PETA feels that Mario is sending the message that it’s OK to wear fur.  While at points in the video game Mario dons a raccoon-ish looking “Tanooki” suit that enables him to float in the air and swat bad guys with his tail, he is never shown slaughtering an animal to get the suit; rather, Mario acquires the suit magically from hovering squares in the air. 

In protest irregardless, PETA has created its own game called “Super Tanooki Skin 2D” in which a skinless Tanooki chases a sinister-looking Mario who is in a fur suit dripping with blood and adorned with a raccoon-like head.

Nintendo’s response to PETA’s claims has been that Mario often takes the appearance of certain animals and objects in his games, with such things having included a frog, a penguin, a balloon, and even a metallic version of himself.  The whimsical transformations are intended  to give Mario different abilities and to make the games fun to play, with no statement intended beyond the games themselves…

Comments: 2 Comments

McDonald’s Supplier Animal Abuse?

Posted November 19, 2011 by vulpesffb
Categories: animal abuse, animal rights, animals, deplorable practices
Tags: ,

 – – Regardless of how you look at it, chickens do not live enviable lives.  They should not, however, be forced to live their entire lives in cages so small that they can barely turn around, or be swung around by their feet by their caretakers.  The animal rights group Mercy for Animals recently released video illustrating such conditions that was filmed over three months by an undercover investigator posing as an employee for Sparboe Farms, the fifth largest egg producer in the country and a major egg supplier for McDonald’s.   The FDA has also said that it discovered serious violations of a federal rule designed to prevent salmonella at five egg production facilities of Sparboe.

McDonald’s has dumped the supplier, who has said that the actions illustrated in the video are in direct violation of their animal care code of conduct and dismissed the workers involved.  McDonald’s is further studying the merits of traditional versus cage-free hen housing systems, which are already used by the company in Europe…

 

 

Comments: 3 Comments

Don’t Ask Santa For One…

Posted November 17, 2011 by vulpesffb
Categories: animal occurrences, animals, furry, furry stories
Tags: ,

 – – You might not want a hippopotamus for Christmas, regardless of what the irritating novelty song tells you.  Consider the case of South African farmer Marius Els who adopted at five months of age a male hippo rescued as a calf during a flood, and added him to his collection of 20 different exotic animals including giraffe and rhino that he kept on his farm.  Naming the hippo Humphrey, the former army major built a bond with the animal, considered him harmless, and was videotaped riding him.  Els was repeatedly warned that the hippo was still a wild animal and had to be treated with caution; incidents occurred where the hippo was blamed for killing calves and also broke out of his enclosure, chasing golfers at a nearby club.

The mutilated body of Marius Els was recently found in a river running through his property after the man was bitten several times by the hippo and then dragged underwater.  Hippos, you see, are highly territorial, and are considered one of the world’s most dangerous animals, commonly attacking humans with no apparent provocation, and usually using their enormous canine teeth to gouge their victims. 

The hippopotamus can weigh up to three tons, and travel at speeds of up to 30 mph…

Comments: 2 Comments

Over A Quarter Million Served!

Posted November 15, 2011 by vulpesffb
Categories: blog business, Off-topic
Tags:

 

– – Sweet fancy Moses, we’ve now had in excess of 250,000 hits here on little ole Foxsylvania!  Thank you, esteemed readers, for enabling us to reach this milestone for this quirky little blog, where we endeavor to be, still crazy after all these years!

Comments: 2 Comments

The Agony of Da Feet…

Posted November 13, 2011 by vulpesffb
Categories: body parts, strange happenings, unexplained
Tags:

 – – This one’s a real stumper:  British Columbia has been plagued by, err, dismembered human feet washing ashore, most of them still clad in footwear including boots and running shoes!–No, they were not Bigfeet!  At least nine feet have been discovered in British Columbia since 2007,  all except the most recent found in saltwater.  The hokey-pokey seems to have gone terribly wrong…

Medical examiners believe that the feet separated from dead bodies due to natural causes, with explanations ranging from displaced “body farm” subjects to tsunami victims to pranks…but something strange sounds afoot, and someone should give those investigators a hand…ahahahahaha!

Comments: 3 Comments

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