“Chipmunk Family Reunion” from Progressive’s “Good Night, Flo”

Posted September 7, 2012 by vulpesffb
Categories: absurdities, animals, anthropomorphic, furry, furry commercials, television

– – Be brave, and enter by commercial into the dream world of Progressive’s iconic “Flo,” an already otherworldly lady.  We are shown in the commercial the racing car bed that she sleeps in, and are witness to her dreams, appearing in a cartoon-like “thought bubble” appearing above her head.  Flo, perhaps not surprisingly, counts insurance discounts rather than sheep in her sleep state.

Then the parade of discounts is interrupted, and we are shown a dream deviation of a chipmunk family reunion!  They are as cute as the  dickens…but alas!  A dastardly squirrel steals the chipmunk’s nuts!  Despair not, however, for in Flo’s dream, the squirrel is apprehended, and winds up in “Squirrel Jail.”  Even in her dream state, Flo exults “Justice!,” and we are shown a victorious chipmunk holding aloft a liberated nut!   Wonder what a therapist would make of this one…

But don’t ‘ya just love happy endings, even though reunions tend to be nutty? 

Comments: 4 Comments

Gonna Need A Bigger Boat?

Posted September 4, 2012 by vulpesffb
Categories: animal occurrences, animal presence, animals, aquatic, unexplained

– – Well, isn’t this a fine kettle of fish?  A male Great White shark weighing about 1,600 pounds washed up on a New England beach this weekend on the border of Rhode Island and Massachusetts, prompting officials to close down two nearby beaches spanning 10 miles of oceanfront.

Officials are not sure why this great white died, or how it wound up in this location.  Tests will be conducted to determine the probable cause of death for the 13-foot predator…speculations  on possible causes have included orcas, environmental toxins, or perhaps Chevy Chase…

Comments: 3 Comments

Strange Furry Cinema…

Posted September 1, 2012 by vulpesffb
Categories: absurdities, animals, anthropomorphic, feathered friends, furry, furry film classics, strange

– – Nearing Labor Day as this blog reaches the 300,000 hits mark, we pause to thank our readers for making this possible.  And as we consider dubious achievements, we will also make mention of possibly the worst furry-themed movie ever made…Howard the Duck! 

Widely panned by critics as being one of the worst movies ever, Howard the Duck was actually produced by George Lucas, but wasn’t exactly, ahem, a feather in his cap.  The screenplay was originally intended to be an animated film based on the Marvel comic book of the same name, but contractual obligations required Lucas to provide his then-distributor with a live action film.  The satirical and surrealist strengths of the original source material were then abandoned with a script which altered the personality of the title character.  The uneven 1986 science fiction comedy film which resulted was largely too juvenile for adults but inappropriate for children, exposing us in one scene to anthropomorphic duck breasts; yes, you heard that right!  Some have commented that the scene mentioned has alone created legions of avian furry afficionados.

So whether Howard failed due to deviating from the source material, a poor script, or from featuring a title character presented by actors in a duck suit, one fact remains…at the box office, this turkey didn’t fly!  Daffy Duck would have been a far more compelling male lead…

Comments: 4 Comments

Bear Mauling Fatality

Posted August 29, 2012 by vulpesffb
Categories: animal behavior, animal occurrences, animals, furry

– – A lone hiker was mauled to death by a grizzly bear on Friday in Alaska’s Denali National Park.  It was the first fatality from a bear attack in the park’s nearly 100 year history. 

Forty-nine-year-old Richard White of San Diego had been photographing the bear from a distance of about 50-yards away for about eight minutes when he was killed; a grizzly running at full speed could cover that distance in a matter of seconds, according to the Park’s superintendent.  The regulation distance between a hiker and a bear is a quarter mile. 

Other hikers found the victim’s backpack and bloodied clothing, and alerted park rangers.  A wildlife trooper shot and killed the bear on Sunday, and rangers recovered Mr. White’s remains.  A portion of the Park was closed following the attack…

 

Comments: 2 Comments

Red Bull’s “Hunter” Commercial…

Posted August 27, 2012 by vulpesffb
Categories: animals, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, furry, furry commercials, television

– – Man, the hunters hate this commercial with a passion, calling it anti-gun, anti-hunter, and even “sacrilegious.”  I could tell you other things they’ve called this ad, but we strive to be mostly family friendly here.  It’s the Red Bull “Hunter” commercial, alternately referred to as “Animal Killer!”  In the commercial, a hunter that could make Elmer Fudd look good goes into the woods, wearing a ludicrous outfit that includes a feathered cap, and whistling a tune.  There’s a bit of a commotion in the woods that we don’t see, but it undoubtedly involves a reversal of fortunes…

…next, the hunter is high-tailing it out of the woods, effortlessly pursued by a wild hog or boar.  It’s an easy chase; the buck-toothed hunter loses his gun then his pipe, and trips over a rock and falls flat, the boar not even breaking a sweat.  The hog, looking mildly amused, taps the prone hunter extracting his face from the ground on the back with his hoof.  “Hey, animal killer!,” says the hog, who continues to offer the hapless Nimrod a Red Bull energy drink.  “Then what?,” asks the clueless mighty hunter.  “Then run faster!,” patiently explains the victorious hog.- -Red Bull, you see, gives you wings!

I haven’t seen such a masterful rout and lambasting of a hunter since Bugs Bunny’s many humiliations of Elmer…  😉

Comments: 4 Comments

Cheetos “Break Bot”

Posted August 24, 2012 by vulpesffb
Categories: absurdities, animals, Brilliant but twisted, famous furries, furry, furry commercials, television

– – Science fiction has long warned us that technology is a double-edged sword with the potential to be used for either great good or great evil, and we see a little bit of both emerge in the Cheetos “Break Bot” commercial.   We are witness to a scene where two nerds/geeks together with the iconic Chester have constructed a robot apparently on their lunch break to feed them Cheetos when given the command of, “Cheese me!“- -Well and good, right?  The problem is that the homemade robot bitch slaps the recipient in the face following the delivery of the Cheeto…

…being that Cheetos are delivered, however, the one inventor tells the other, “I can live with it!,” and his companion is in full agreement.  We all suffer for our arts and passions, I suppose…

Comments: 2 Comments

Cat People…

Posted August 23, 2012 by vulpesffb
Categories: animal presence, animals, furry, furry commercials

– – We’ve noted often the frequent presence and use of animals as commercial spokesmen; they’ve also made inroads into the world of fashion, with animals making increasing appearances as accessories for photo shoots of models.  Felines in particular are used, often held by or draped around the model.  

Then again, cats are elegant and stylish enough that they don’t really require a human presence.  When it comes to clothes, I think that cats can wear it well…don’t you? 

Comments: 3 Comments

Giant Python Caught in Everglades

Posted August 20, 2012 by vulpesffb
Categories: animal behavior, animals, conservation, environmental, scalies, science

– -Burmese pythons are not native to the Florida Everglades but rather South East Asia; that fact, however, has not stopped them from becoming comfortable in South Florida, living long lives and growing to enormous size.  Such was recently demonstrated by the capture of a Burmese python measuring 17 feet, 7 inches and weighing in at 164 pounds.  The python was a female, who also is believed to have set a record by being pregnant with 87 eggs! 

What does a 17-foot long python eat?- –Anything it wants!  The snake in question had feathers in its stomach, and the species has been known to swallow animals as large as deer and even alligators.  With nothing stopping such a non-indigenous species, native wildlife are stressed and in trouble…

Comments: 2 Comments

New Loch Ness Monster Photo?

Posted August 17, 2012 by vulpesffb
Categories: animals, anomalies, aquatic, cryptozoology, mysteries, unexplained, unidentified

– – I would be ever so happy if definitive, verifiable proof of any of the major cryptids were found during my lifetime that I could die happy!  Certainly the Loch Ness Monster is one of the major players in this field, with George Edwards recently submitting a new picture alleged to be the elusive creature.  Now Edwards, a sixty-year-old Scottish sailor, spends about 60 hours a week on the loch, providing tours on his boat, the Nessie Hunter IV.  He has been searching for the Loch Ness Monster for the past 26 years.  

The image is regarded by most skeptics to be a large sturgeon, although it appears to lack a serrated spine like the sturgeon.  Unfortunately, there is nothing in the picture to measure size against, such as a building or island in the background.  The photo, captured by Edwards towards the end of last year, is believed by him to show the back of one of the creatures…

Comments: 2 Comments

The Aussie Hair Care Company Purple Kangaroo…

Posted August 15, 2012 by vulpesffb
Categories: animals, anthropomorphic, cryptozoology, furry, furry commercials, television

– – She’s a purple marsupial, has big doe-eyes, and almost resembles a muppet or Claymation creation…the Aussie Shampoo kangaroo, that is!  Despite the name, Aussie Shampoo products are made in Cincinnati, Ohio by Proctor and Gamble.  The manufacturing process for the floral-scented product includes use of the Australian Kangaroo Paw Flower extract.

Australian aboriginal legends have existed about a purple kangaroo since ancient times, and in 1924 a biologist named Le Souf made the claim to the amusement of the scientific community that he had found such a  creature, even sending specimens to be studied that turned out to be run of the mill wallabies.  In 2001 through DNA testing and photographic evidence a purple-necked rock wallaby was identified as a new species.  It seems that these animals have a purple dye that they secret from glands in their skin around their neck and face.  The dye quickly fades after death, a fact which made the animal hard to identify…

Comments: 6 Comments

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