American Horror Story: Freak Show

Posted October 24, 2014 by vulpesffb
Categories: Brilliant but twisted, horror, noteworthy, strange, television
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The Fx series American Horror Story: Freak Show is remarkable dark television horror, combining good writing and superb acting on a bizarre subject in a fashion rarely seen on the small screen. Inspired by Tod Browning’s Freaks and Herk Harvey’s Carnival of Souls and set in Florida in the early 1950’s, the show details the relationships between a closely-knit colony of sideshow freaks in a dying profession, and the often harsh outside world of gawkers and exploiters who constitute the real monsters. Every subtype of human oddity is represented, including a brilliantly-portrayed tormented “bearded lady (Kathy Bates),” a “lobster boy,” “pinheads,” and the stars of the show, a pair of stunning conjoined female twins with radically different personalities. Paranormal elements are injected, and there is also about the most scary predatory clown that you are ever likely to see, “Twisty” (pictured).

This is disturbing but mesmerizing stuff, definitely not for the kiddies due to gore and sexual content. It’s perfect, however, for horror fans, and those of us who enjoy Halloween themes year-round…

Comments: 5 Comments

SubterAlien on”Monsters Underground”

Posted October 15, 2014 by vulpesffb
Categories: aliens, anthropomorphic, cryptozoology, sci fi, speculation, television, Uncategorized, unexplained, unidentified
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The Destination America network has become a kind of mecca for shows on cryptic creatures and the paranormal, and a series airing there called Monsters Underground follows in the shoes of such shows as Mountain Monsters.  One episode of the former series covered a creature called the SubterAlien, a reputedly intelligent, armed, and hostile being that is both a kind of alien and a hidden life form as well, providing something for the fanciers of both genres.  

The essential format of the show is familiar, and time-tested on similar series.  An investigative team under the leadership of Bill Brock in the episode mentioned went to the supposed habitat of the SubterAlien, an abandoned mine system in Calaveras County, California.  In the 1840’s, the Shadow Mine was a working gold mine which closed when 13 men perished there.  It has since been believed that the SubterAlien was responsible for a series of bizarre occurrences, including the disappearance of electronic equipment.  This burrowing alien stands upright, has huge black eyes, and likes to tinker with the electronics to make other devices of unknown purpose.  At least this guy recycles and re-purposes human technology, kind of like The Thing.  I like to see aliens keep stuff out of landfills!

Well, the exploratory team set up trail cameras, and went into the depths of the winding caverns armed with radiation detectors as the creature’s presence is said to spike radiation levels.  The team did find electronics inexplicably strewn in the tunnels, and heard strange noises.  Radiation levels appeared to be rising, and an alarm was triggered on one of their trail cameras.  Tremors in their location about 200 feet underground caused the team to fear being trapped in an unstable, collapsing mine, and they accordingly beat a hasty retreat, pausing only to recover their trail cameras.  When safely outside, the alarm-sounding camera was scrutinized, and found to contain a blurry image of something passing before the camera lens and obstructing it…a scenario we’ve again seen repeated elsewhere!

Comments: 3 Comments

Geico’s Tasmanian Devil “Energy Drink”Commercial…

Posted September 30, 2014 by vulpesffb
Categories: animals, anomalies, anthropomorphic, furry, furry commercials, television
Tags: , , ,

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I’ve always had a soft spot for the Tazmanian Devil character in the Warner Bros. cartoon family.  Like a whirlwind on speed, he rips through the environment as a blur of motion, an animated tornado.  Only the formidable Bugs Bunny can outwit and subsequently control this hyperkinetic force of nature.  Giving such a creature an energy drink would be like putting out a fire with gasoline, but we can only imagine the devastation that such an act would create.  

Thanks to another Geico commercial, we no longer have to imagine such mayhem.  A couple are shown reposing in bed, with one musing about how Geico insurance can save a customer 15% on their insurance.  As the partner is aware of this, the follow-up stumper question posed is whether the partner knows that some cartoon characters should never be given an energy drink…

…cut to a production studio, where against a white screen the Tazmanian Devil is chugging an energy drink! – – Uh oh, his eyes drift out of proportion to one another, and soon Taz’s body dissolves into the whirling blur of motion we know so well, crashing through the walls of an adjoining production studio where fine china collector’s plates of the fifty state birds are being touted!  Predictably, Taz decimates the plates and their display stands, leaving the studio a shambled ruins.  

I do so love seeing a master of mayhem like Taz at work, and fine china and crystal make such delightful sounds when decimated, don’t they?  Long may the Tazmanian Devil rage, and reign!

Comments: 3 Comments

“Gotham’s” Catwoman…

Posted September 23, 2014 by vulpesffb
Categories: anthropomorphic, furry, television
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I’m always glad to see portrayed the character of Selina Kyle, aka Catwoman.  In the new series Gotham airing on the Fox network, we are introduced to a young version of the character, depicted as a street urchin and thief with impressive gymnastic skills and of course, cat-like moves.  Played by 15-year-old San Diego native and dancer Camren Bicondova, the young Selina Kyle is a witness to the murder of young Bruce Wayne’s parents and kind of shadows the action during Gotham’s first episode, equally at home on a rooftop, observing undetected at the funeral of Bruce Wayne’s parents, or perched on the wall of stately Wayne Manor. Although she is not yet costumed and speaks not a word during the series premier (cat got her tongue?), we are promised that the teenage Catwoman will have plenty of dialogue during the second episode.  Her appearance is even similar to that of a young Michelle Pfeiffer, my personal favorite in the catsuit. 

Gotham itself is an impressive prequel to the Batman franchise.  Suitably dark, the series introduces us to the pre-teen Bruce Wayne, a surprisingly vital and agile Jim (later Commissioner) Gordon, and classic Batman villains in their early formative stages.  Featured in early episodes will be the Penguin, and we’re also introduced briefly to the Riddler and even Poison Ivy!  The writing appears credible and true to the franchise, and the actors likewise while playing it seriously create believable and three-dimensional characters.

Gotham gets it right, and is likely to be a hit!  Just bring Catwoman more to the foreground, please!

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Comments: 4 Comments

The Laughing Cow, “Reinvent Snacking”

Posted September 6, 2014 by vulpesffb
Categories: animals, anthropomorphic, furry commercials, television
Tags: ,

 

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If I beheld a human-sized, red-colored, talking anthropomorphic cow on my living room sofa, I’d probably be paying more attention to her than I was to my snack or whatever was airing on the tube.  Such is not the case with the humans in the Laughing Cow “Reinvent Snacking” commercial, who go about feeding their faces, apparently oblivious to the cow.

Is this perhaps a spectral cow, visible to you and I only?  I find that thought disturbing, as I do to some extent the cow herself. – -Why is she red?- – Does she share genes with Clifford, the Big Red Dog?- – And why is she wearing earrings made of her own cheeses?  Smart product placement, maybe, but rather tacky!

Bemoaning the fact that snacking has become “predictable and unsatisfying” (much like my life), the red cow then joins a woman on her porch and later at a table, where she cheerily touts the virtues of Laughing Cow cheeses while continuing to be ignored by her human hosts.  Yes, it would appear that in matters of snacking and cross-species entertaining, humans are basically…pigs!

Comments: 3 Comments

Little Caesar’s “Wag” Commercial

Posted September 4, 2014 by vulpesffb
Categories: absurdities, animals, furry, furry commercials, television
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In this commercial spot for Little Caesar’s pizza, a father and his faithful canine companion are comfortably chilling in their living room when the lady of the house enters the dwelling.  The dog wags his tail in happy greeting.  “You got dinner already?,” asks the disbelieving Dad.  “Yeah, I swung by Little Caesar’s,” answers the woman.  “You don’t have to call in or wait.”

The guy grins happily, and momentarily his pony tail is wagging, synchronous with the dog’s tail.  I rather wish that I had a real tail, don’t you?- – I protest, I was shortchanged! 

Comments: 3 Comments

Life Imitates Art…Again!

Posted August 25, 2014 by vulpesffb
Categories: animal behavior, animal problems, animals, current events, furry, furry commercials, television
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In a memorable 2009 commercial for Sears Optical that we’ve posted about much earlier , a woman in dire need of an eye exam invites a raccoon inside her house, thinking that the raccoon was her cat.  In that commercial, the raccoon happily complies with the woman’s invitation to ‘snuggle with Momma,’ and pads into the house.

Real life encounters with a raccoon inside human habitations have not been so harmonious, however.  In February of 2014, a woman in Hingham, Massachusetts was attacked by a raccoon that entered her house through a door flap that her cat used to get inside the dwelling, biting and cutting the 73-year-old resident .   More recently in Hamden, Connecticut an 88-year-old woman was attacked August 24th by a raccoon she accidentally let into her house and then tried to pet, thinking that the animal was her cat.  The raccoon had followed the woman’s cat into the house, making scratching sounds outside a sliding glass door that the woman had thought emanated from the cat.  Thinking little of the woman’s affections, it bit her on the elbow, hand, forearm, lip, and chin.

The encounter didn’t go well for the raccoon, either. When police were summoned to the residence, it gamely charged two officers, who caught and euthanized the animal.  The outcome could have been vastly different with Rocket Raccoon, however, who could have taken those guys out without breaking a sweat, demonstrating his profound mastery of weaponry in the process! – – Oh, yeah!

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Comments: 4 Comments

Verizon’s “More Birds” Commercial…

Posted August 17, 2014 by vulpesffb
Categories: absurdities, animals, avian, feathered friends, furry, furry commercials, television
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People who seek to lure birds can sometimes get too much of a good thing…or so seems to be the underlying message of a recent Verizon commercial, More Birds.  “There’s good more, and there’s not so good more,” intones the announcer.  Hubby is outside while the wife is inside, plinking away on a computer tablet and happy that she’s accumulating  Verizon bonus rewards points.  

“Honey, look!  I got one to light on me!,” babbles the guy to his largely-oblivious wife as a small bird lands on his extended arm.  “Uh huh,” notes the wife.  “You’ve got a buddy!,” says the guy as a second bird lands on his other extended arm.  While the woman continues to be completely involved with her Verizon bonus rewards points, birds continue to land on the man’s extended arms.  “I’m like a statue!,” he intones, not wishing to scare them away. Trouble is, the birds continue to come, including an owl; things are getting out of hand.  The last bird to come appears to be a large bird of prey, and it grabs the guy from behind, literally carrying him away with his work.  The woman either doesn’t notice, or perhaps doesn’t care.  Familiarity breeds contempt, after all.

Perhaps Alfred Hitchcock was onto something in his classic thriller, The Birds.  Then in mythology we also have tales of the giant Roc, said to be large enough to carry cattle and even elephants away.  At the very least, birds can poop on you and your newly-washed car, which is horrible enough…

 

Comments: 2 Comments

Jack Links “Feed Your Wild Side” Animals…

Posted August 13, 2014 by vulpesffb
Categories: absurdities, animals, furry, furry commercials, television
Tags: ,

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Things that erupt from one’s chest cavity are extremely cool, especially if their doing so doesn’t prove fatal to the host, as occurred in the Aliens movies.  The Jack Links “Hangry Moments” (hungry + angry) beasties include a puma, an eagle, and a wolf.  The wolf appears at a dull business meeting, with the host’s boss complaining that the appearance was the second time that week!  Once the ferocious, snarling wolf head is fed some Jack Links jerky, however, it becomes quite docile, nuzzling the man’s face and then retreating back into his shirt, which miraculously isn’t even torn!  In the other spots, an eagle comes from a woman’s chest on an airline, while the puma appears from the chest of a student taking an exam.  

I’d do almost anything to be able to have a fox head erupt from my chest cavity as kind of a co-joined twin!  The uses and applications would be endless, and I could be my own best friend, revealing my inner self almost at will…(sighs longingly)…

Comments: 3 Comments

Wooden Personalities?

Posted August 1, 2014 by vulpesffb
Categories: anthropomorphic, bizarre, movies, the plant kingdom
Tags: , ,

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I’ve always found it fairly easy to ascribe to the notion of sentient plant life.  I swear that the weeds are implementing a master plan to take over my lawn and garden, and mock me when I seek to eradicate them.  “If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you can imagine!,” cry their tiny voices in my ears, echoing old Obi-Wan Kenobi from Star Wars.  If you would look for examples of intelligent plant life in movies or on the small screen, consider the carnivorous alien Audrey II plant from Little Shop of Horrors, the Triffids, the Jolly Green Giant, and a host of others.  We just haven’t had a good sentient plant around recently.

Fortunately, we have the character of Groot from Guardians of the Galaxy coming to our rescue!  Yeah, I know he’s essentially a sentient tree, but he does appear with a raccoon, so he merits mention here.  Furthermore, Groot is voiced by none less than Vin Diesel, so you know that this is a plant to be reckoned with!  While Groot is integral to the action of Guardians, he isn’t much of a talker, saying only one three-word line in the entire movie (“I am Groot!“).  Still, Vin Diesel voiced that line in several languages for movie outtakes, and even wore stilts coming in to the recording studio so as to better assume more of the character’s stature…and you thought that method acting was dead!

I’ve always liked the actor as an action hero, although some might say that his performance here is a bit…wooden, ahahahaha!

Comments: 4 Comments

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