Gecko’ s “Really Literal” Genie…

Posted November 9, 2014 by vulpesffb
Categories: absurdities, animal presence, animals, Brilliant but twisted, television
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Two women begin this Geico commercial eating outside with the usual conversation about how spending 15 minutes with Geico can save you 15% on your car insurance.  “Everyone knows that!,” dismisses one woman.  “Well, did you know that some genies can be really literal?,” retorts the other.

Cut to a mock-sitcom called, “Genie and Me,” complete with laugh track.  A man is unpacking boxes, and comes upon a brass lamp, which he polishes. — Poof!  A genie appears, who has a wonderfully disaffected, almost bored expression.  His master is granted a wish, and greedily if predictably wishes for a million bucks.  The genie gestures, and the house and grounds are suddenly populated with a million bucks…the four-legged, antlered variety!  Be careful what you wish for, as it is said…

…there are other “Genie and Me” episodes available for viewing, all in the style of a 1950’s – 1960’s sitcom, complete with hokey humor.  In one, the mother of the genie’ s master mistakes the magical lamp for a gravy boat.  “Good gravy!,” comments the genie, who is wonderful to watch.  It’s fake television, but still better tongue-in-cheek viewing than much of the drek actually airing on the tube…Ray, Genie! 

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Comments: 2 Comments

Searching for Bigfoot…

Posted November 5, 2014 by vulpesffb
Categories: aliens, anomalies, anthropomorphic, controversial, cryptozoology, speculation, television, unidentified
Tags: ,

 

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It’s hard not to like Georgio Tsoukalos, he of the wild hair who investigates the paranormal.  While Georgio is most interested in aliens, in S1/Ep05 of In Search of Aliens, Georgio goes Searching for Bigfoot, but of course manages to work in possible connections with extraterrestrials.  Unlike too many similar shows, Georgio actually meets with researchers and scientists, but puts his own unique spin on what he learns.  Going out with the Olympic Project Team into Washington’s Olympic Peninsula, Georgio learns of how the team has recorded vocalizations that cannot be matched with any identifiable species, heard “wood knockings,” and made molds of 16″ footprints.  He quickly goes off into wild speculations, however, on possible linkage between UFO sightings and Bigfoot appearances, further seeking to tie both in with animal mutilations in the area.  This in turn is seen to tie in with genetic manipulations by aliens, a favored theme.

After touching on Bigfoot sightings and additional speculations on whether sasquatch is possibly some kind of skinwalker or shape-shifter, Georgio wound up consulting with a biological anthropologist in San Diego, who deemed that undetected subspecies were indeed possible.  Bigfoot after all might be a surviving strain of Gigantopithecus.  Georgio would like to think that aliens manipulated primate genes to create humanity, and since Georgio seems to have tamed his hair a bit since hosting this series, I suppose all things are possible…

Comments: 5 Comments

American Horror Story: Freak Show

Posted October 24, 2014 by vulpesffb
Categories: Brilliant but twisted, horror, noteworthy, strange, television
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The Fx series American Horror Story: Freak Show is remarkable dark television horror, combining good writing and superb acting on a bizarre subject in a fashion rarely seen on the small screen. Inspired by Tod Browning’s Freaks and Herk Harvey’s Carnival of Souls and set in Florida in the early 1950’s, the show details the relationships between a closely-knit colony of sideshow freaks in a dying profession, and the often harsh outside world of gawkers and exploiters who constitute the real monsters. Every subtype of human oddity is represented, including a brilliantly-portrayed tormented “bearded lady (Kathy Bates),” a “lobster boy,” “pinheads,” and the stars of the show, a pair of stunning conjoined female twins with radically different personalities. Paranormal elements are injected, and there is also about the most scary predatory clown that you are ever likely to see, “Twisty” (pictured).

This is disturbing but mesmerizing stuff, definitely not for the kiddies due to gore and sexual content. It’s perfect, however, for horror fans, and those of us who enjoy Halloween themes year-round…

Comments: 5 Comments

SubterAlien on”Monsters Underground”

Posted October 15, 2014 by vulpesffb
Categories: aliens, anthropomorphic, cryptozoology, sci fi, speculation, television, Uncategorized, unexplained, unidentified
Tags: ,

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The Destination America network has become a kind of mecca for shows on cryptic creatures and the paranormal, and a series airing there called Monsters Underground follows in the shoes of such shows as Mountain Monsters.  One episode of the former series covered a creature called the SubterAlien, a reputedly intelligent, armed, and hostile being that is both a kind of alien and a hidden life form as well, providing something for the fanciers of both genres.  

The essential format of the show is familiar, and time-tested on similar series.  An investigative team under the leadership of Bill Brock in the episode mentioned went to the supposed habitat of the SubterAlien, an abandoned mine system in Calaveras County, California.  In the 1840’s, the Shadow Mine was a working gold mine which closed when 13 men perished there.  It has since been believed that the SubterAlien was responsible for a series of bizarre occurrences, including the disappearance of electronic equipment.  This burrowing alien stands upright, has huge black eyes, and likes to tinker with the electronics to make other devices of unknown purpose.  At least this guy recycles and re-purposes human technology, kind of like The Thing.  I like to see aliens keep stuff out of landfills!

Well, the exploratory team set up trail cameras, and went into the depths of the winding caverns armed with radiation detectors as the creature’s presence is said to spike radiation levels.  The team did find electronics inexplicably strewn in the tunnels, and heard strange noises.  Radiation levels appeared to be rising, and an alarm was triggered on one of their trail cameras.  Tremors in their location about 200 feet underground caused the team to fear being trapped in an unstable, collapsing mine, and they accordingly beat a hasty retreat, pausing only to recover their trail cameras.  When safely outside, the alarm-sounding camera was scrutinized, and found to contain a blurry image of something passing before the camera lens and obstructing it…a scenario we’ve again seen repeated elsewhere!

Comments: 3 Comments

Geico’s Tasmanian Devil “Energy Drink”Commercial…

Posted September 30, 2014 by vulpesffb
Categories: animals, anomalies, anthropomorphic, furry, furry commercials, television
Tags: , , ,

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I’ve always had a soft spot for the Tazmanian Devil character in the Warner Bros. cartoon family.  Like a whirlwind on speed, he rips through the environment as a blur of motion, an animated tornado.  Only the formidable Bugs Bunny can outwit and subsequently control this hyperkinetic force of nature.  Giving such a creature an energy drink would be like putting out a fire with gasoline, but we can only imagine the devastation that such an act would create.  

Thanks to another Geico commercial, we no longer have to imagine such mayhem.  A couple are shown reposing in bed, with one musing about how Geico insurance can save a customer 15% on their insurance.  As the partner is aware of this, the follow-up stumper question posed is whether the partner knows that some cartoon characters should never be given an energy drink…

…cut to a production studio, where against a white screen the Tazmanian Devil is chugging an energy drink! – – Uh oh, his eyes drift out of proportion to one another, and soon Taz’s body dissolves into the whirling blur of motion we know so well, crashing through the walls of an adjoining production studio where fine china collector’s plates of the fifty state birds are being touted!  Predictably, Taz decimates the plates and their display stands, leaving the studio a shambled ruins.  

I do so love seeing a master of mayhem like Taz at work, and fine china and crystal make such delightful sounds when decimated, don’t they?  Long may the Tazmanian Devil rage, and reign!

Comments: 3 Comments

“Gotham’s” Catwoman…

Posted September 23, 2014 by vulpesffb
Categories: anthropomorphic, furry, television
Tags: , ,

I’m always glad to see portrayed the character of Selina Kyle, aka Catwoman.  In the new series Gotham airing on the Fox network, we are introduced to a young version of the character, depicted as a street urchin and thief with impressive gymnastic skills and of course, cat-like moves.  Played by 15-year-old San Diego native and dancer Camren Bicondova, the young Selina Kyle is a witness to the murder of young Bruce Wayne’s parents and kind of shadows the action during Gotham’s first episode, equally at home on a rooftop, observing undetected at the funeral of Bruce Wayne’s parents, or perched on the wall of stately Wayne Manor. Although she is not yet costumed and speaks not a word during the series premier (cat got her tongue?), we are promised that the teenage Catwoman will have plenty of dialogue during the second episode.  Her appearance is even similar to that of a young Michelle Pfeiffer, my personal favorite in the catsuit. 

Gotham itself is an impressive prequel to the Batman franchise.  Suitably dark, the series introduces us to the pre-teen Bruce Wayne, a surprisingly vital and agile Jim (later Commissioner) Gordon, and classic Batman villains in their early formative stages.  Featured in early episodes will be the Penguin, and we’re also introduced briefly to the Riddler and even Poison Ivy!  The writing appears credible and true to the franchise, and the actors likewise while playing it seriously create believable and three-dimensional characters.

Gotham gets it right, and is likely to be a hit!  Just bring Catwoman more to the foreground, please!

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Comments: 4 Comments

The Laughing Cow, “Reinvent Snacking”

Posted September 6, 2014 by vulpesffb
Categories: animals, anthropomorphic, furry commercials, television
Tags: ,

 

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If I beheld a human-sized, red-colored, talking anthropomorphic cow on my living room sofa, I’d probably be paying more attention to her than I was to my snack or whatever was airing on the tube.  Such is not the case with the humans in the Laughing Cow “Reinvent Snacking” commercial, who go about feeding their faces, apparently oblivious to the cow.

Is this perhaps a spectral cow, visible to you and I only?  I find that thought disturbing, as I do to some extent the cow herself. – -Why is she red?- – Does she share genes with Clifford, the Big Red Dog?- – And why is she wearing earrings made of her own cheeses?  Smart product placement, maybe, but rather tacky!

Bemoaning the fact that snacking has become “predictable and unsatisfying” (much like my life), the red cow then joins a woman on her porch and later at a table, where she cheerily touts the virtues of Laughing Cow cheeses while continuing to be ignored by her human hosts.  Yes, it would appear that in matters of snacking and cross-species entertaining, humans are basically…pigs!

Comments: 3 Comments

Little Caesar’s “Wag” Commercial

Posted September 4, 2014 by vulpesffb
Categories: absurdities, animals, furry, furry commercials, television
Tags: , ,

 

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In this commercial spot for Little Caesar’s pizza, a father and his faithful canine companion are comfortably chilling in their living room when the lady of the house enters the dwelling.  The dog wags his tail in happy greeting.  “You got dinner already?,” asks the disbelieving Dad.  “Yeah, I swung by Little Caesar’s,” answers the woman.  “You don’t have to call in or wait.”

The guy grins happily, and momentarily his pony tail is wagging, synchronous with the dog’s tail.  I rather wish that I had a real tail, don’t you?- – I protest, I was shortchanged! 

Comments: 3 Comments

Life Imitates Art…Again!

Posted August 25, 2014 by vulpesffb
Categories: animal behavior, animal problems, animals, current events, furry, furry commercials, television
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In a memorable 2009 commercial for Sears Optical that we’ve posted about much earlier , a woman in dire need of an eye exam invites a raccoon inside her house, thinking that the raccoon was her cat.  In that commercial, the raccoon happily complies with the woman’s invitation to ‘snuggle with Momma,’ and pads into the house.

Real life encounters with a raccoon inside human habitations have not been so harmonious, however.  In February of 2014, a woman in Hingham, Massachusetts was attacked by a raccoon that entered her house through a door flap that her cat used to get inside the dwelling, biting and cutting the 73-year-old resident .   More recently in Hamden, Connecticut an 88-year-old woman was attacked August 24th by a raccoon she accidentally let into her house and then tried to pet, thinking that the animal was her cat.  The raccoon had followed the woman’s cat into the house, making scratching sounds outside a sliding glass door that the woman had thought emanated from the cat.  Thinking little of the woman’s affections, it bit her on the elbow, hand, forearm, lip, and chin.

The encounter didn’t go well for the raccoon, either. When police were summoned to the residence, it gamely charged two officers, who caught and euthanized the animal.  The outcome could have been vastly different with Rocket Raccoon, however, who could have taken those guys out without breaking a sweat, demonstrating his profound mastery of weaponry in the process! – – Oh, yeah!

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Comments: 4 Comments

Verizon’s “More Birds” Commercial…

Posted August 17, 2014 by vulpesffb
Categories: absurdities, animals, avian, feathered friends, furry, furry commercials, television
Tags: ,

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People who seek to lure birds can sometimes get too much of a good thing…or so seems to be the underlying message of a recent Verizon commercial, More Birds.  “There’s good more, and there’s not so good more,” intones the announcer.  Hubby is outside while the wife is inside, plinking away on a computer tablet and happy that she’s accumulating  Verizon bonus rewards points.  

“Honey, look!  I got one to light on me!,” babbles the guy to his largely-oblivious wife as a small bird lands on his extended arm.  “Uh huh,” notes the wife.  “You’ve got a buddy!,” says the guy as a second bird lands on his other extended arm.  While the woman continues to be completely involved with her Verizon bonus rewards points, birds continue to land on the man’s extended arms.  “I’m like a statue!,” he intones, not wishing to scare them away. Trouble is, the birds continue to come, including an owl; things are getting out of hand.  The last bird to come appears to be a large bird of prey, and it grabs the guy from behind, literally carrying him away with his work.  The woman either doesn’t notice, or perhaps doesn’t care.  Familiarity breeds contempt, after all.

Perhaps Alfred Hitchcock was onto something in his classic thriller, The Birds.  Then in mythology we also have tales of the giant Roc, said to be large enough to carry cattle and even elephants away.  At the very least, birds can poop on you and your newly-washed car, which is horrible enough…

 

Comments: 2 Comments

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