“Sasquatch Planet” on Monsters & Mysteries Unsolved

Posted July 26, 2016 by vulpesffb
Categories: anomalies, anthropomorphic, cryptozoology, furry, speculation, unexplained, unidentified
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The subject of Bigfoot is well-worn terrain on most paranormal shows, and the third episode of the Monsters and Mysteries Unsolved series sought to take us there yet again by examining Sasquatch evidence and encounters, and wound up taking a rather skeptical overall tone.  Steven Kulls, a former private investigator, had his own personal encounter with a supposed Bigfoot in 2011.  Returning to the location of his sighting in the Adirondack Mountains of New York with thermal cameras, a “bionic ear,” and a digital video recording system, Kulls and his team established a security perimeter but failed to discover anything.  They were quick to point out that their failure to discover Bigfoot didn’t mean that he wasn’t out there…

In Pocatello, Idaho a group of high school students saw what they thought to be a Bigfoot at a distance, taking video footage of the same as well as a photo of a footprint.  Their footage was examined by biological anthropologist Dr. Kathy Gonder, who thought that the creature filmed was massive and reflected fluid body movement, although she rather thought that the thing filmed was a bear.  One of the students in the group claimed familiarity with bears, however, and disputed that the sighting was that of a black bear.

Another sighting briefly covered was that of a Canadian woman who in 2007 heard a screaming creature off a deer trail, hearing it running and breaking branches.  She fled to her vehicle following this uncomfortably close encounter.  A mammalogist and anatomist pointed to such aggressive behaviors as being typical of the great apes.

Dr. Joe Nickell, an author and investigator, felt that Sasquatch and Bigfoot are basically major myths that show analogues in other cultures, and have basically migrated between cultures.  Mammalogist and anatomist Dr. Sarmiento echoed this, feeling that belief in Bigfoot fills a void, a need to believe.  In summation, most of the experts presented felt that available evidence for Bigfoot’s existence falls far short of the standard of proof required.  Needed are bones, a carcass, or clear and convincing camera trap evidence…

Comments: 4 Comments

Crop Circles on “Monsters and Mysteries Unsolved”

Posted July 15, 2016 by vulpesffb
Categories: aliens, anomalies, speculation, television, the plant kingdom, unexplained
Tags: ,

 

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The second episode of “Monsters and Mysteries Unsolved” again hit on mysteries rather than monsters with an installment on crop circles, about 100 of which are sighted each year around the world, but usually in the United Kingdom and most often in fields of wheat and barley, appearing overnight.

Now about 90% of crop circles are fake, but a small percentage are not man-made. It’s possible to tell if they are not caused by human effort by damage done to the crop, which is thought to be from some sort of energy which causes nodes on the plants to expand and ultimately explode. Several different mechanical methods can also cause such damage, however.

Some UFO sightings have been reported in the vicinity of crop circles, and video footage exists. A video analyst examined one such tape, and pronounced it original without the object having been externally added. The specialist could not, however, identify the object depicted, which appeared in the footage as a glowing orb.

Midwestern U.S. formations appear to show a connection to one another, with the circles linked geographically in a straight line pointing directly to other crop circles. It might appear that such circles are not singular, isolated events, but rather parts of a series.

So what does this all mean? An explanation was not advanced, other than to say that crop circles were a phenomena which could not be pigeonholed. Questions were raised, but few were answered…

Comments: 4 Comments

“Alien Encounters” on “Monsters and Mysteries Unsolved”

Posted July 1, 2016 by vulpesffb
Categories: aliens, speculation, strange happenings, television, Uncategorized, unexplained, unidentified
Tags: ,

 

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The good news is that at last there’s a new paranormal show airing new episodes, but the jury is still out on “Monsters and Mysteries Unsolved,” which debuted on the Destination America channel with a first episode titled, “Alien Encounters.”

Now don’t get me wrong…I really want to like this show, but I’m not sold yet.  There are some things that I liked, such as the inclusion of actual astronomers, astrophysicists, and other credentialed people on the show.  The episode simply didn’t have a great flow or direction to it, bouncing around episodically and unevenly from one UFO sighting to another without much unity to it in a manner I found unsatisfying.  Some of the material was old, familiar stuff; considerable time was spent on Roswell, for example, without adding anything new to what we’ve already heard many times before.

Reference was made to the “Phoenix Lights” sightings in 1997 when a large, delta-shaped object was witnessed flying in a mile-wide formation by hundreds of people in Arizona, with more individual lights later seen.  Aspersion was cast upon the official explanation of the lights as being “military flares.” Also covered was a December 1980 incident at Rendlesham Forest in England where strange lights were seen on successive nights and investigated by the military. Another 1975 incident from Pensacola, Florida involved a former U.S. Marine pilot on a training flight who observed a round, red object with defined edges that moved unlike anything he had seen before or since.

To me the most interesting segments of this show involved the efforts of special effects photographer and movie maker Doug Trumbull, who is taking powerful investigative equipment in a specially modified vehicle to locations deemed favorable to UFO sightings. Perhaps through his efforts and others like himself, more credible investigations may be performed.

In my area, Monsters and Mysteries Unsolved airs Thursday at nine p.m. on the Destination America channel, which is kind of paranormal central for shows of this type. Spread the word, and hopefully upcoming episodes will be more satisfying…  

Comments: 3 Comments

Mooscles Jr. Applegate Commercial…

Posted June 28, 2016 by vulpesffb
Categories: absurdities, animal spokepersons, animals, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, furry, furry commercials, television
Tags: ,

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Cows seem to be going through an advertising renaissance lately.  There are the CGI cows of the Lactaid commercials, or if you prefer, the disturbing man-cows in minimal bovine fursuits who frequent the meat department of supermarkets in the Applegate “the cleaner weiner” ads.

Now I hope that they pay these guys well…I really do! The bodybuilder cow shuffles out and asks a female shopper if she’s “looking for quality meat.” Surprised, she looks up, beholds the manly cow, and gasps, “Ahh…I think I found it!”

“Yeah, you did,” responds the cow with a grin, alternately flicking his pecs in confirmation. At this point, you begin to feel that you are watching some kind of exceedingly strange, naughty movie. It’s stuff like this that can give furries a bad name…

“Wow…my family prefers our beef all-natural,” adds the woman shyly. “Yeah, mine too,” agrees the cow. “Right, son?,” he adds. At this point, the camera angle changes to show another equally beefy cow barely fitting into the seat of a shopping cart. “All natural,” he chimes in.

“They grow up so quickly!,” comments the first cow about his offspring, “Mooscles Jr.” All that remains is for the announcer at the end of the commercial to add, “Moo!” The advertising world has truly grown stranger than we can imagine…

Comments: 3 Comments

Traumatizing, But Hilarious…

Posted June 25, 2016 by vulpesffb
Categories: absurdities, anthropomorphic, famous furries, strange happenings, television
Tags: ,

Barney, a human-sized purple dinosaur who looks like an iguana with dentures and is the syrupy-sweet regular on a kiddie show, became the temporary captor of a 15-year-old Alabama girl who tried on the character’s head to scare her friends at church.  It seems that the church’s pastor had acquired the dino’s suit a few years back but lost the body component, leaving the head lying around;  religion is full of mysteries.

Well, when the teen tried the oversized Barney head on, it slipped down past her shoulders, giving her hilarious short little T-Rex arms. Unfortunately, neither the girl nor her friends could remove the Barney head when the fun was over.  Seeking to spare the girl further embarrassment, she was driven to a fire department where forty-five minutes and a lot of Vaseline later, the head was finally removed.  The event, of course, was properly commemorated and immortalized on social media.

Barney’s no raptor and this was hardly a Jurassic World sequel, but we now have another reason to dislike the big purple dinosaur, who still loves everyone…


Comments: 1 Comment

Lactaid’s “Karate Cow” Commercial

Posted June 8, 2016 by vulpesffb
Categories: absurdities, animal spokepersons, anthropomorphic, furry commercials, television
Tags: ,

She’s back, and she’s udderly wonderful…the Lactaid’s “mess with you” lactose cow for the lactose-intolerant, that is!  

Our scene begins with a couple eating ice cream in a dimly-lit living room.  From out of nowhere, we hear a martial arts cry. — Why, it’s the Lactose Cow ready to mess with the lactose-intolerant!  She strikes a pose, and then there is a flurry of flailing and karate-chopping hooves as she advances dramatically to the ice cream eaters on the couch.  “Right…in…your…STOMACH!,” the cow announces as the guy visibly recoils.  But alas, the cow is unable to resist a bit of showmanship.  “Watch this!,” she declares as she launches into a vaulting maneuver, at the exact second that the Lactaid Cow opens the French doors, sending the charged up bovine tumbling outside.  Once again, she was unable to mess with the lactose intolerant; pity!  

Now I think that this energetic cow might be the ideal running mate for Hillary Clinton.  She’d bring excitement and charisma to Hillary’s campaign, and could settle Donald Trump’s hash.  We’d have a furry a heartbeat away from the presidency…works for me! 

Comments: 7 Comments

The Lactaid Cow in, “Annoying Milk”

Posted June 1, 2016 by vulpesffb
Categories: absurdities, animal spokepersons, animals, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, furry commercials, television
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Anthropomorphic cows  so seldom appear in commercials that I’m glad to see one make an appearance, especially when they are a bit crazed.  In a recent Lactaid commercial, we are treated to an all too brief appearance from the Lactaid Cow’s deviant sister, Lactose Cow.

Now the Lactaid Cow is a beautiful blue and white creature, and as sweet as pie; she’s lovely, and I have nothing against her.    Her “annoying milk” alter ego, as pictured above, is black and white and quite hyper, full of energy and questions that she fires off in rapid fashion at her human company.  These are questions such as, “Why do people have eyebrows?  And why do they put milk on their cereal?  Are you reading about why people put milk on their cereal right now? And why does your stomach go, ‘rumbly, rumbly, rumbly?’”  Unfortunately at that moment, this marvelous creature is lassoed and hauled off by the Lactaid Cow, who takes her place and won’t give the lactose-intolerant anything but serenity and dietary support; she won’t “mess with you.”  

Well and good, but where others see annoyance, I see opportunity.  This so-called annoying milk cow would fit in with Warner Bros. creations, and could make a wonderfully demented childrens’ show host, kind of like Pee-Wee Herman in cowhide.  She just needs the proper vehicle to propel her to stardom, and they don’t need to change a thing about her!  Heck, give her a sitcom, called something like “My Neighbor the Cow” or “The Cow that Came To Dinner”( wait, scratch that second one)!  Anyways, I’d pull up a chair to watch this bovine comedian.  I hope we haven’t seen the last of her, ’cause this cow’s no milk dud…the Lactaid Cow may have your back, but her twisted sister’s got my funnybone…

Comments: 3 Comments

Progressive’s Flo Meets the Kool-Aid Man…

Posted May 29, 2016 by vulpesffb
Categories: absurdities, anomalies, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, television
Tags: , ,

I, for one, have always found the Kool-Aid Man vaguely disturbing. I mean, if you’re not even safe in your own home or at a gathering from having your walls battered down by an enormous pitcher of red fruit drink who accompanies his wanton mayhem with a cry of “Oh, yeah,” where are you safe?  He even stands there inexplicably grinning afterward, as if massive property damage was somehow amusing.  Let others worry about Hillary Clinton’s e-mails, I’m far more concerned about home invasions by product icons…

I suppose, however, that an enormous anthropomorphic pitcher of fruit drink fits right in with the surreal universe inhabited by Progressive Insurance’s Flo.  The Kool-Aid Man is portrayed, after all, as a next-door neighbor type who just happens to enter through walls rather than doorways.  Ever the perky Pollyanna, Flo tries to put a positive spin on things by pointing out to her neighbor how fortunate she is to have tied her homeowners and other insurance together through Progressive so as to maximize savings.  Flo walks among us, but is not really one of us. While also disturbing, she at least does not walk through walls.  In his favor, perhaps, is the fact that the Kool-Aid Man has a far more limited vocabulary, and never blathers about insurance, which is never my favorite topic of conversation.  Now product icons seldom fight among themselves; they presumably belong to the same union.  In a fight, however, Flo might possibly hold the Kool-Aid guy at bay with her “set your own price” gun.  With her omnipresent white garb, I suspect that Flo is actually some kind of annoying deity.

Still, unanswered questions remain.  Why does the Kool-Aid Man sport only four fingers on each hand?  Is he some kind of yet unidentifiable life form, or might there be an alien connection?  Did the Reptilians breed the Kool-Aid Man just to torment us, or is he some kind of trans-dimensional being?  Might Flo actually be the alien overlord, and the Kool-Aid guy her unspeakable experiment?  There are many possibilities here, none of them good.  I leave it to far greater minds than mine to ponder such things.  I am, after all, but a secret government experiment on a woodland creature gone terribly awry.

Perhaps the Mountain Monsters guys could be put on the trail of this one.  They might find him easier to catch than Bigfoot…

 

Comments: 1 Comment

Camping with Flo’s Family…

Posted May 6, 2016 by vulpesffb
Categories: Off-topic, television, Uncategorized
Tags: ,

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I’d probably feel strangely at home with the commercial family of Flo from Progressive Insurance; there’s not a normal person among them.  Take sister Janice, for example; she’s so bored camping that (in her own words) she’s dead!  Who among us has not shared that sentiment at a family gathering, at least some of the time?  Then there’s Mom, as cheerfully upbeat as always.  She thinks camping with the family (“Fampling”) is the greatest thing since S’mores! Grandpa is swatting bugs and trying to enjoy peace and quiet; that doesn’t mean talking, and disappointing him more!  Flo’s brother and sister are tormenting one another (“I hate it wherever you are!”) while Dad appears too liberal with lighting fluid at the grill.  

Flo as usual is surreal in her spotless and wrinkle-free white uniform that she wears everywhere, complete with name tag, ever a fish out of water as she babbles about insurance…and by the way, it takes an hour to do Flo’s retro hairstyle for these commercials, and another hour to apply her make-up.  Beauty is hard work, apparently…

Comments: 8 Comments

“Penny Dreadful” Returns…

Posted May 1, 2016 by vulpesffb
Categories: anthropomorphic, furry, furry horror, furry literature, television
Tags: , ,

 

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After a long hiatus, John Logan’s Penny Dreadful is returning for a third season on Showtime May 1st.  The superbly well-written and handsomely mounted dark horror show features a killer cast (heh, in more ways than one!), and is set in a gloriously gritty, richly atmospheric 19th century English setting.  In the series, classic Victorian literary characters (Victor Frankenstein and his creations, for example) meet Gothic horror conventions, and it’s all bloody good fun!

Mention of the series occurs here because there is a compelling werewolf character, Ethan Chandler as played by Josh Hartnett.  Now poor Ethan is an American expatriate in London who is being pursued both by Scotland Yard and American bounty hunters, but when his back is up against the wall or a colleague is in danger pulls off a werewolf transformation, and lays the baddies out right proper.  Ethan in the new season has finally been captured and is being dragged back to the American southwest, but likely will again use his powers to devastating effect. Tortured and conflicted, we learned in the past season that Ethan is actually the disguised Lawrence Talbot, none other than the Wolfman…

The powerhouse ensemble cast includes Timothy Dalton as Sir Malcolm, and Eva Green as powerful medium and witch Vanessa Ives…and this season, Dr. Henry Jekyll will be coming around to help Victor Frankenstein (Harry Treadaway) with his drug addiction problem.  This is horror with a pedigree and a college education…

Comments: 2 Comments

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