Archive for the ‘weird’ category

Black-Eyed Kids…

April 19, 2013

black-eyed-kids– – The Discovery Channel has a rather interesting show called, Monsters and Mysteries in America. – –Well, I prefer a monster to a mystery any day, but I’ll take a mystery if no good monsters or even laughable cheesy ones are available. A number of mysteries or unexplained phenomena fall into the category of urban myths, one of which as given a segment on the show was that of the black eyed kids, who should not be confused with the Black Eyed Peas, an American hip hop group…

…well, black-eyed kids or BEKs for short are creepy children in the pre-teen to teen age range with a disconcerting habit of appearing to motorists, homeowners, or even campers, often in the middle of the night, and who engage in the act of seeking admission to whatever the person approached occupies. As their name suggests, such children have no white in their eyes, the entire surface of which appears as black as “slices of night,” as one observer has described it. Often the BEKs appear in groups of two, although sometimes there are more, and at other times there is only one. Their appearance is additionally described as pale, and their speech rather non-inflected; they have an otherworldly quality, leading to wild speculations that these are perhaps aliens, time travelers, vampires, ghosts, or demons. More mundane explanations are that these are cultists, goths, pranksters, or people who’ve injected tattoo ink into their eyes (which is done). The black-eyed kids must be invited in, a characteristic traditionally associated with vampires, and if denied admission they supposedly become more hostile and insistent.

People who have reported a BEK encounter describe feeling filled with panic, fear, and anxiety. One who invited a pair of BEKs into her house said they told her they had come to “collect” her; after barricading herself in a room for a time, she fled the house. Typically, when the approached subject tries to view the creepy little visitors after departing the site, they are nowhere to be seen.

Black-eyed kid encounters date back to about 1988, and while likely just an urban myth, I wouldn’t invite then into your house should some come knocking in the middle of the night. They’re probably not selling cub scout candy…pleasant screams, ahahahaha!

 

 

The Petrified Cat Market…

February 15, 2013

Oddities– – It’s hard to find a good petrified cat; most are dried out and decayed, and don’t smell very good.  There are aesthetics to be considered when buying a petrified cat, or for that matter, a mummified squirrel; not just any one will do!

Enter the bizarre world of macabre memorabilia as presented through the Science Channel and the Discovery Channel documentary/reality show Oddities, which details the operations of Obscura Antiques & Oddities as they go about procuring oddball items like deformed skeletons, skulls, child-sized straitjackets, and archaic medical items for eager clients.  –Remember that one man’s trash is another’s treasure, and that there’s a market for almost everything in this world! 

The show debuted in 2010, and is now in it’s fourth season.  Operating out of the East Village in New York City (–where else?), the business has been overwhelmed by people trying to sell petrified cats and mummified squirrels that they found in their attics, and as a result is no longer in the market for them.  It’s hardly your grandmother’s antique shop…this is far more interesting!

 

Arthropod Body Parts Asphyxiation!

November 27, 2012

– – We would advise you, good readers, not to be eating anything while reading the following post.  Having given that warning, we now will reveal the sad but true tale of a West Palm Beach Florida man who choked to death in October after eating dozens of live cockroaches in a contest staged as as a promotional event by a pet store in Deerfield Beach to win an ivory ball python.- -I swear that I am not making this up!

Now you’re probably wondering who wouldn’t want in on a contest to win a python by eating live roaches, and fully thirty competitors did.  So enthusiastically did one 32-year-old guy launch himself into this competition eating 26 mostly discoid roaches that his airway became obstructed with “arthropod body parts,” and he essentially choked to death on the bizarre meal.  The Broward County medical examiner’s office found that the contestant died of “asphyxia due to choking and aspiration of gastric contents.”

The owner of the pet store was named Ben Siegel, who bore no relationship to the infamous Ben Siegel, the American gangster involved in the development of Las Vegas who bore the nickname, Bugsy

 

Cybernetic Roaches…

September 12, 2012

– – I, for one, would be freaked to find a remotely-controlled Madagascar hissing cockroach at large in my domicile.  One would wonder what kind of sinister intelligence would be behind it, and such a creation would represent an unnatural perversion of the already repugnant.

Scientists at the North Carolina State University have already created such a fun toy, however, by taking a lightweight chip with a wireless receiver and transmitter, and attaching it to a cockroach like a tiny backpack.  Madagascar hissing cockroaches are the roach of choice as they are large, heavy-duty, and already carry a significant gross-out factor.  With a microcontroller connected to the roach’s antennae and cerci (rear sensory organs), small electrical charges from the wires to the cerci trick the roach into moving in response to a perceived threat.  Charges sent to the antennae make the roach think that it’s bumped into something.  By utilizing both inputs, it’s possible to basically steer the cockroach.

Now what, you might ask, would you use a biobot roach for?  Well, they could be sent into tight spaces to search for survivors after disasters…but would you want to be found by such a rescue party?- -aieee!   Just when you thought things couldn’t get any worse, right?  Perhaps they might additionally tie small casks of brandy around the roach’s head…

Steerable roaches…that’s something new!  I think I want one for Xmas, too! 

Hannah Montana Raccoon Repellent!

July 7, 2012

– – In case you are ever assaulted by a  flesh-biting raccoon, you may want to have a bottle of Hannah Montana perfume spray with you!  A recent video going viral on YouTube shows a kind of redneck Santa Claus, a white-bearded and shirtless man with a pet raccoon by his side that has an annoying habit of biting him painfully on the upper arm and back, which we see happening.–Well, the mountain man resourcefully snatches up a spray bottle of a Hannah Montana branded product, spritzes himself with it, and viola!  The ‘coon wants nothing more to do with him, and is held at bay!–Problem solved!

This is American ingenuity at its finest!  One wonders, however, if the same effect might have been achieved if the gentleman had begun singing Hannah Montana songs…and might this spray be a viable alternative to Mace and the Taser?  (“Sir, calm down and comply or I’ll have to Hannah Montana spray you!”)

Dead Cat Helicopter?

June 9, 2012

– – Me-ouch!  Call me old fashioned, but I’m not too keen on the idea of turning a deceased cat into a mini-helicopter, finding the idea unsettling and perhaps gruesome; I like bizarre and creepy, but in a good way.   PETA likewise dislikes the notion, with a spokesman calling the postmortem transformation “…a macabre way to honor a beloved family member.”  The artist, however, sees the visual exhibit as paying tribute to his cat, who now can soar with the birds that he loved.

The male cat appropriately named Orville died following a less than positive encounter with a car about six months ago.  His Dutch artist owner taxidermied the skin, encased it in polyester, and put a propeller on each of the four outstretched paws.  A remote control device enables the cat-quadcopter to fly.  The end product has been called creepy, sick, or hilarious, depending on one’s perspective.  The Orvillecopter has been on display at an art fair in Amsterdam, although Dutch animal lovers and the Dutch animal welfare party have heavily criticized the exhibit…

…the late cat, Orville, has a brother, Wilbur, who is still alive.  Both  animals were named after the Wright brothers of aviation fame.

Divine Burgers?

January 14, 2012

 – – At a restaurant aptly named Hamburger Mary’s in Tampa, Florida, an image of the Virgin Mary has been reported on a stainless steel wall near the kitchen.  Remarkably, the diner has been known for gay karaoke nights and drag queen shows. 

The mark of a superior being or saint has likewise been seen in a Walmart receipt, cheese sandwiches, candle wax, Cheetos, rocks, overturned trees, walls, pizza pans, and even on a fish stick!   Some of these items have been offered for sale on internet auction sites.  Verily, the Lord moves in mysterious ways…

The perception of religious imagery in natural phenomena is sometimes called simulacra, and studies have shown that even visual perceptions can be affected by wishes, preferences, and desires.  The human mind prefers to perceive patterns, especially the pattern of a human face, in otherwise random phenomena.  Perception of an image is additionally mediated or filtered through culture, politics, and worldview…

“Beetlejuice” Resurrection?

October 15, 2011

 – – One of my fave movies of all time and one which contributed to my love of over-the-top weirdness was the 1988 Tim Burton production of Beetlejuice, with Michael Keaton as the title character.  A new sequel is coming at an undetermined date, the movie will not be a re-make, and it may be called, Beetlejuice 2 or Beetlejuice Begins…it’s far too early to tell, or even what form the movie will take.  The original producer David Katzenberg and writer Seth Grahame-Smith will be making the sequel.

It’s also unknown at this stage whether all or part of the original cast will return, but one hopes that at least Michael Keaton will.  He shines in dark movies, whether comedy or drama, and his inspired, gleefully demented portrayal of Beetlejuice is what made the classic original a great gothic comedy…

…if we chant “Beetlejuice” three times, maybe we will again hear the great bio-exorcist say, “It’s showtime!

Of Amphibian Tongues and Arby’s…

September 21, 2011

 – – A recent Arby’s “Chicken Cravin'” commercial features a guy sitting with two friends who whips forth a frog-like tongue several feet in length to lap sauce from one friend’s face; I’m unable to find an image of the act presently, so have done the best simulation that I can.  Following the act, the two friends of the tongue-endowed wonder understandably draw their chairs away from him. 

General reaction to the commercial has been negative, with some denouncing the ad as “nasty” and “gross,” and others declaring their intention not to patronize Arby’s until the offending commercial has been removed!   Licking food from anyone’s face would generally not endear you to the person licked, and be considered a major social faux pas in polite and less-than-polite company; when such an act is committed with a tongue of amphibian dimensions, it becomes unappetizing if not seriously creepy…

Waiter, There’s a Fly…

August 12, 2011

 – – People are forever finding flies and other repulsive foreign objects in their food, in some cases putting such objects in the food item themselves in the hopes of pursuing profitable litigation or at least getting a free meal.  I’ve found hair in restaurant food on numerous occasions.  Well, along these lines a woman in China recently bought some yogurt, ate half of it in the morning, and put the remainder in her refrigerator, returning that afternoon to consume the rest of it.  When the afternoon’s yogurt tasted funny, the woman spat it out to find…a dead fly!

 

We hope you weren’t eating, gentle readers.  Anyways, when the woman complained to the yogurt manufacturer, Bright Dairy & Food Co., company officials didn’t apologize or offer the customer a refund.  Rather, they asked her to autopsy the fly to make sure that it had gotten into the yogurt before she had opened it.  This rather put an end to the matter, as there aren’t many medical examiners offering fly autopsies.

Instances of food adulteration like this have given rise to use of the term mealbreaker to refer to a nasty, non-edible surprise found in food while it is being eaten.   Examples might include the bloody bandage reportedly found baked into a pizza, and of course the overalls found in Mrs. Murphy’s chowder…