I find screaming goats, at the very least, disconcerting. Although such goats are not actually screaming but bleating or calling, their vocalizations are loud, and can sound eerily like a human in extreme duress, say being tortured.– -Why, you might ask, do some goats make these verbalizations? It could be a sign of hunger, distress, or simply an attention-getting device. It sure would get my attention and displeasure, pronto.You could build a low-budget horror movie around these goats!
In a recent Allstate commercial Check First Neighbors, a couple is celebrating their first night in a new house. They hear a muffled shriek in the background. Looking out the window, they find goats clamoring all over their neighbor’s yard! Then the goats become invasive…one even loudly screams at the new occupants from within their house! Why is the goat shrieking?- -Possibly he wants fed, or more grain in his diet; the scream is certainly an attention-getting device. Goat farmers have noted that the goatssometimes will keep up this behavior for half to three-quarters of an hour before giving up…
You see, our new homeowners had neglected to check out the neighbors before buying the property, and you really should do that. Allstate can then save you hundreds on your homeowners insurance…
About the only thing I can think of that might be worse than living next door to a herd of screaming goats would be residing next to a family of howler monkeys…
While Mr. Ed gets most of the attention, he was preceded by Francis the Talking Mule. The original Francis movie was released in 1950, and would go on to appear in a total of seven, yes seven movies! Elvis had not yet hit the scene, and people in the 50’s needed something to do, so they translated to film from three short stories written by David Stern for Esquire magazine about a talking army mule who would only talk to a dimwitted lieutenant, helping him in his military and other ventures…
NowFrancis was actually a female donkey named Molly, selected because she was easy to handle. She supposedly cost $350 to buy, but made millions from the film series. To create the illusion that the mule was actually talking, thread would be fed into the animal’s mouth which would cause the mule-actress to try and remove it by moving her lips. The same technique would later be used for Mister Ed! Francis would also appear in a 1952-53 comic strip, Francis, the Famous Talking Mule.
A talking donkey, however, preceded Francis in The Bible! In the Biblical Book of Numbers, Chapter 22, verses 21 – 39 we are given an extraordinary account of an Old Testament furry, a female donkey who had her mouth opened by the Lord to the extent that she was able at least temporarily to talk to her abusive master and engage in a dialogue with him!
It would seem that Balaam was a pagan non-Israelite prophet and diviner who was commissioned by Balak, King of the Moabites, to lay a curse on the Israelites. After divining and seeing that the Lord was really with the Israelitesand that they could not be cursed, Balaam relayed his message to Moabite king, who would not take no for an answer. Yahweh then instructed Balaam to to follow the Moabite delegation to the hill upon which Balak thinks Isreal would be cursed…
On route, Balaam rode his donkey, who alone perceived an angel standing in the road with a drawn sword in his hand, and turned off the road into a field. Balaam beat the donkey to get it back on the road. Then the angel stood in a narrow path through vineyards with walls on both sides. The donkey pressed close to the wall, crushing Balaam’s foot against it. The louse beat the poor donkey again…
So the donkey moved ahead, and this time the angel appeared in a narrow place where there was no room to turn either to the right or the left. The donkey simply lay down at that point under Balaam, and the crud became angry and beat the poor animal a third time!
Then the transformation happened. The Almighty opened the donkey’s mouth, and it said to Balaam, “What have I done to you to make you beat me these three times?” Balaam answered his pack animal, telling her that she had made a fool out of him, and that had he a sword in his hand, he’d kill the poor thing right then! The donkey’s words revealed that it had been trying to warn Balaam about the angel, to which Balaam finally bowed and admitted his sin. Sadly, the donkey kinda drops from the Biblical narrative at that point, but is an early example of an anthropomorphic being, as well as an early animal rights advocate. One can imagine them being voiced by Eddie Murphy as in Shrek…
So guys, if you come across a talking mule or donkey, give them a listen…you just might become a believer!
Hello, Boils and Ghouls, and welcome to this special Halloween Edition of Foxsylvania! Halloween is special to me, always has been and always will be. It’s an occasion relatively free of suffocating family obligations and not awash in commercialism, a time of imagination and dipping into the dark corners of our psyche…here there be dragons!So gather ’round, kiddies, and let your Uncle Vulpes bring you items to thrill, chill, and amaze you…(well, maybe, just a little!) This is what we mean by, Cheap Thrills…
That’s it…come closer as I begin to be fired up, and my true form I share with you! For I am both man and beast, substance and shadow, flame and air…that’s really what a firefox is! I am fox, I am feral, and I am DANGEROUS!(Cue up that Michael Jackson number, please…)
(Firefoxdancing with dark animal spirits to Dangerous…)
Brief, all too brief is All Hallow’s Eve when we can take off the masks that society makes us wear to please others. Join me in this dark dance of kindred furry spirits! It is a fine kind of madness that we enjoy as we gyrate and spin faster and faster, until the dancers become the dance!
But no…soon, all too soon, the cock crows, heralding the approach of dawn, and I am drawn away by irresistible energies to another dimension to walk in boring human flesh until the calendar passes another dreary year and blessed Samhain arrives again…Best Witches, everyone, Ahahahaha!
I didn’t like the version of Riddler or Batman that we saw in the movie The Batman, but I did like the version of Catwoman and The Penguin that we saw. We saw a bit of “Oz Cobb”(Oswald Cobblepot) in The Batman, enough to make me want to see more. Fortunately, Colin Farrell is back as The Penguin, and he makes the role both gritty and believable…
(Don’t hate him because he’s beautiful!)
Sure, Danny DeVito and Burgess Meredith gave us memorable versions of The Penguin that were fun, but so cartoonish that they couldn’t possibly exist in reality. Colin Farrell’s Penguin is no outrageous freak show with a pointed beak-like nose and flipper fingers, but rather a master gangster-like figure, perhaps what Tony Soprano could have been if he were far nastier and battle-scarred. Colin Farrell is a good-lookin’ actor who plays Penguin under heavy latex modifications that gives him a larger (but not beak-like) nose, extra pounds, and facial scarring. His hairline is receding and slicked back, and he walks with a pronounced side-to-side limp, perhaps a nod to the character’s waddle in previous incarnations. We see his bare foot in one scene, and it’s hideously deformed. This Penguin (who doesn’t like to be called that) knows his way around a knife and a machine gun, and wouldn’t be caught dead tooling around in a giant rubber ducky like Danny DeVitoin the role…
Robin Lord Taylor got the role of the young Penguin much better and more realistic in the series Gotham, in my opinion. This guy was intelligent, adaptable, and ruthless…
So I’m glad to see this re-imagining of Penguin, and see the character given proper respect. No, he’s not my favorite Bat-villain, coming in my hierarchy after The Riddler and Joker. The limited HBO/HBO Max series takes up right after Riddler has flooded parts of Gotham in The Batman flick, and Oz Cobb is looking to fill in the gap in the power vacuum following the death of his bosswith a mixture of shrewdness and brutality. No, you won’t see Batman in this, but he is out there, and no one knows just where. This is a crime drama told from the point of view of The Penguin himself…
Only the first episode of the series has aired as of this posting, and there are nods to the character’s comic roots in his gait and his use of an umbrella in the episode. Involved in the drug trade, this is Penguin as a tough, ruthless crime boss looking to climb the ladder, and this bird just might fly… 🐧
The buffalo in the Buffalo Wild Wings commercials appears to be a party animal, and as he shows in the Box Out ad, is a bit of the “bull in the china shop” beast as well, not that a pub equates to a china shop! The buffalo spokes-animal still manages to trash stuff pretty impressively, and that’s without being mad!
I’ve always kinda admired the Wild Wings buffalo as a rather well-rendered and impressive chimera, and he’s certainly articulate and expressive to the point of being brash or domineering. I doubt that his wings would be adequate, however, to enable flight, and support his massive bulk. They’re nice wings, nonetheless...
The buffalo, whose name is Hank, is voiced by Beck Bennett. Crafted for the March Madness event, the commercial is certainly mad and wild. Hank, who thinks that he knows a bit about playing defense, goes into a demonstration by unintentionally knocking people about, even breaking out the window, complete with a bodily ejection and flying glass. One would certainly want to be on this bison’s team, as his opponents might not survive him!
I’ve never posted about a buffalo before, but Hank does cut an impressive and imposing furry figure in this ad; you’d just want to think twice about inviting him to your apartment, however! Unanswered are the questions of whether Hank will be held liable for damages…
And BTW, this fox was born in Buffalo, New York!
And by the way, I just happen to have been born in Buffalo, New York! My university mascot was a bison!
There is now a 2023 movie based on the popular video game, Five Nights At Freddy’s. For those who have been living in a cave, Freddy’s envisions a closed and decaying 1980’s kiddie pizza emporium much like Chuck E. Cheese’s where the animal-resembling members of the house robotic entertainment band continue unnaturally to lumber around, stalking and killing intruders on the premises…
Now I’ve seen one of these animal robot bands performing in Florida, and it was creepy, because budget-level animatronics do not approach Disney World standards, and the robotic animal performers don’t move fluidly. Because of this, cartoon-like animal robots make suitable fodder for horror movies, kind of like Jason or Freddy with creaky hydraulics…
I’m usually not a fan of video games turned into movies, but this one is not without its moments, probably because I am a damn furry, and likely wouldn’tmind spending my afterlife as Foxy, the robot pirate-fox. Just be kind to him, because he’s been knocking around since the 1980’s unattended and without proper maintenance. Foxy is the worse for the wear, much like I myself…
The robots, ‘ya see, are inhabited by the spirits of deceased children who mysteriously vanished. While they are murderous, their mayhem is not graphically rendered on screen, and one reviewer termed this an introduction to horror movies for the video game generation, “baby’s first horror movie.” There are some novel concepts here, even if the film itself is not especially scary. This probably would have been better suited for presentation on the SyFy channel instead of the big screen, but it did play well in theaters. Similar themes were developed in The Banana Splits Movie, which didn’t have a video game pedigree. But catch this one on Amazon Prime if you have it. It’s fun, but won’t haunt your dreams. It just can’t be taken seriously, but there’s nothing wrong with that, and robotic furries are a kick…
(Foxy’s looked better, but haven’t we all?!And I could definitely get into the Robo-pirate fox scene, yarr!Lower yer flag and stand by to be boarded by the scourge of the Seven Seas, Matey!) 🦊
See y’all at Freddy Fazbear’s…or maybe the funny papers!
*Laughs hysterically and is taken away by nice young men in clean white coats* 🤪
Private eyes…gumshoes…private dicks….I’ve always loved ‘em, especially in retro versions, or neo-ones like Rorschach of Watchmen. So when I saw this private eye walking into a dimly-lit diner, soft jazz playing in the background, this fox was hooked…
This private eye had the full look, complete with fedora and trench coat. His client, however, was an oddball…not that I should talk…and what exactly was he? When I first glimpsed him, I thought that he looked like ALF, the Alien Life Form popular for a few years on 80’s television. He seemed at first to have an elongated snout, and was definitely a furry…
…but no, not ALF. Maybe some kinda bovine, I dunno. Anyway, the detective brought him the information he sought, but he wasn’tgonna like it. It seems, ‘ya see, that NJM only had their customer’s best interests at heart, and there was no way that the mascot client could compete with that…
And ALF, I still remember ‘ya, buddy…but don’t even think about eating my cat!
If you’re an arachnophobe, you’d better steer clear of Adam Sandler’s movie Spaceman on Netflix, because Sandler, as an astronaut in deep space, winds up sharing his spacecraft with an intelligent, human-sized creature that strongly resembles a gigantic spider, complete with multiple eyes and jointed appendages…
The movie isn’t a comedy, but might remind some of either an extremely good or bad acid trip, depending on your personal perspective. When Sandler gets over his initial shock and horror over the uninvited stowaway, he doesn’t reach for the can of Raid or Black Flag, finding instead that the arthropod is an explorer like himself who has studied Earth languages, and is more than capable of carrying on a thoughtful conversation…
The spidery alien assures Sandler that he doesn’t want to harm or consume him, and is adept at probing into Sandler’s mind where he finds that Sandler has what might be termed “relationship problems” with his wife on Earth. The empathetic “Spider-Man” has a soothing voice, is endlessly patient, and frankly appears to be a natural therapist who wants to help Sandler with his feelings, emotionality, and relationship. I swear that I am not making this up…
Sandler’s character, a Czech astronaut on a solitary mission to the purplish Chopra Cloud, is a morose and gloomy individual. The spider-alien, while repellent in appearance, becomes rather endearing, providing who he calls the “skinny human” with psychotherapy. The movie has an identity crisis, becoming an oddball psychological drama rather than traditional science fiction. As such, it may leave many viewers confused and unsatisfied, with an ambiguous, “write your own ending” resolution. The movie may change your opinion of spiders, however, terrestrial or otherwise. I just doubt that I’ll ever want to give one a big ole hug. This is high weirdness, indeed…
A Happy Valentine’s Day to all of my readers! Valentine’s Day holds a variety of bittersweet memories for me, and perhaps some of you can relate…
There were those cheesy, pun-laden Valentines I used to exchange with other kids in elementary school…and just look at this guy’s face! Cool and creepy at the same time. The flower in the mouth is a nice touch, adding to the “come hither” look… 💕
…and there were those many years when Valentine’s Day was a torment, leaving me yearning for a vixen when I didn’thave one. They sure didn’t go for the smart, nerdy types.Forever alone… *sighs*. 😩
But let us remember that not all kisses are romantic ones, as Bugs Bunny illustrates in a number of his classic ‘toons. After thoroughly humiliating and mocking an enemy such as Elmer Fudd, he often bestows a big, smoochy kiss on him, the insulting kiss, right before sprinting away…
The insulting kiss is an art form and a sublime expression, perhaps rendered to confuse as well as mock an adversary, leaving him befuddled so as to permit ample time for escape while also conveying the message that “you’re not a serious threat…you’re not even worth my time, and I grow weary of you!”
Wouldn’t you like to see an insulting kiss planted on the face of a certain Republican presidential candidate?And a Happy Valentine’s Day, one and all!
As Monty Python and the Holy Grail memorably showed us, the Middle Ages were not totally dead and dreary times, especially if approached with a sense of wry humor. Simpsons creator Matt Groening does exactly that in Disenchantment on Netflix, and the series works on many levels, especially if you like history, myth, and satire…
While too complex to adequately cover in a single blog post, the series concerns the life and exploits of a medieval princess, Tiabeanie (Bean for short), a teenaged hellion adept at gambling and barroom-style fighting who has modern sensitivities, and rebels against medieval conventions such as arranged royal marriages…
Seeking to chart her own way through life, Bean is accompanied by mythic medieval companions that mirror the duality of her own nature; an innocent, idealistic elf appropriately named Elfo, and a black demon straight from Hell called Luci (short for Lucifer)…
Luci is my standout favorite in the series, a 9,000-year-old demon as inky-black as the original Felix the Cat, and thought by most who encounter him to be a weird, talking cat. Yes, Luci is the furry character in the series, having horns, fangs, and a forked tail, who despite his denials often postures bodily and presents like a cat. Sent from Hell to guide the Princess towards chaos, indulgence, and destruction, Luci proclaims himself to be “the guy who makes you feel good about doing bad.” This is one cool, laid-back, savvy demon!
This cat-like demon evolves, however, taking a serious liking to Princess Bean, becoming a loyal companion, fighting against her foes, and eventually dying for her…a sacrifice so noble that Luci appears before God in heaven, earning the status of ascended demon, a kind of reverse Lucifer, if you will…a bad guy who becomes good!
So catch Disenchantment on Netflix, if only to visit this fantastic, drinking, smoking, drug-ingesting cat-like thing that I’d be pleased to have in my corner, anytime! Bad boys, of course, can make you feel so good!🦊
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