Archive for the ‘twisted reality’ category

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A gritty, believable “Penguin…”

September 20, 2024

I didn’t like the version of Riddler or Batman that we saw in the movie The Batman, but I did like the version of Catwoman and The Penguin that we saw. We saw a bit of “Oz Cobb”(Oswald Cobblepot) in The Batman, enough to make me want to see more. Fortunately, Colin Farrell is back as The Penguin, and he makes the role both gritty and believable…

(Don’t hate him because he’s beautiful!)

Sure, Danny DeVito and Burgess Meredith gave us memorable versions of The Penguin that were fun, but so cartoonish that they couldn’t possibly exist in reality. Colin Farrell’s Penguin is no outrageous freak show with a pointed beak-like nose and flipper fingers, but rather a master gangster-like figure, perhaps what Tony Soprano could have been if he were far nastier and battle-scarred. Colin Farrell is a good-lookin’ actor who plays Penguin under heavy latex modifications that gives him a larger (but not beak-like) nose, extra pounds, and facial scarring. His hairline is receding and slicked back, and he walks with a pronounced side-to-side limp, perhaps a nod to the character’s waddle in previous incarnations. We see his bare foot in one scene, and it’s hideously deformed. This Penguin (who doesn’t like to be called that) knows his way around a knife and a machine gun, and wouldn’t be caught dead tooling around in a giant rubber ducky like Danny DeVito in the role…

Robin Lord Taylor got the role of the young Penguin much better and more realistic in the series Gotham, in my opinion. This guy was intelligent, adaptable, and ruthless…

So I’m glad to see this re-imagining of Penguin, and see the character given proper respect. No, he’s not my favorite Bat-villain, coming in my hierarchy after The Riddler and Joker. The limited HBO/HBO Max series takes up right after Riddler has flooded parts of Gotham in The Batman flick, and Oz Cobb is looking to fill in the gap in the power vacuum following the death of his boss with a mixture of shrewdness and brutality. No, you won’t see Batman in this, but he is out there, and no one knows just where. This is a crime drama told from the point of view of The Penguin himself…

Only the first episode of the series has aired as of this posting, and there are nods to the character’s comic roots in his gait and his use of an umbrella in the episode. Involved in the drug trade, this is Penguin as a tough, ruthless crime boss looking to climb the ladder, and this bird just might fly… 🐧

Categories: alternative realities, classics, television, twisted reality
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Buffalo Wild Wings “Box Out” Commercial…

September 11, 2024

The buffalo in the Buffalo Wild Wings commercials appears to be a party animal, and as he shows in the Box Out ad, is a bit of the “bull in the china shop” beast as well, not that a pub equates to a china shop! The buffalo spokes-animal still manages to trash stuff pretty impressively, and that’s without being mad!

I’ve always kinda admired the Wild Wings buffalo as a rather well-rendered and impressive chimera, and he’s certainly articulate and expressive to the point of being brash or domineering. I doubt that his wings would be adequate, however, to enable flight, and support his massive bulk. They’re nice wings, nonetheless...

The buffalo, whose name is Hank, is voiced by Beck Bennett. Crafted for the March Madness event, the commercial is certainly mad and wild. Hank, who thinks that he knows a bit about playing defense, goes into a demonstration by unintentionally knocking people about, even breaking out the window, complete with a bodily ejection and flying glass. One would certainly want to be on this bison’s team, as his opponents might not survive him!

I’ve never posted about a buffalo before, but Hank does cut an impressive and imposing furry figure in this ad; you’d just want to think twice about inviting him to your apartment, however! Unanswered are the questions of whether Hank will be held liable for damages…

And BTW, this fox was born in Buffalo, New York!

And by the way, I just happen to have been born in Buffalo, New York! My university mascot was a bison!

Categories: absurdities, advertising, alternative realities, animal spokepersons, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, commercials, furry, furry commercials, humor, television, twisted reality
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Comments: 4 Comments

The Robotic Ghost Furries of “Five Nights At Freddy’s”

March 16, 2024

There is now a 2023 movie based on the popular video game, Five Nights At Freddy’s. For those who have been living in a cave, Freddy’s envisions a closed and decaying 1980’s kiddie pizza emporium much like Chuck E. Cheese’s where the animal-resembling members of the house robotic entertainment band continue unnaturally to lumber around, stalking and killing intruders on the premises…

Now I’ve seen one of these animal robot bands performing in Florida, and it was creepy, because budget-level animatronics do not approach Disney World standards, and the robotic animal performers don’t move fluidly. Because of this, cartoon-like animal robots make suitable fodder for horror movies, kind of like Jason or Freddy with creaky hydraulics…

I’m usually not a fan of video games turned into movies, but this one is not without its moments, probably because I am a damn furry, and likely wouldn’t mind spending my afterlife as Foxy, the robot pirate-fox. Just be kind to him, because he’s been knocking around since the 1980’s unattended and without proper maintenance. Foxy is the worse for the wear, much like I myself…

The robots, ‘ya see, are inhabited by the spirits of deceased children who mysteriously vanished. While they are murderous, their mayhem is not graphically rendered on screen, and one reviewer termed this an introduction to horror movies for the video game generation, “baby’s first horror movie.” There are some novel concepts here, even if the film itself is not especially scary. This probably would have been better suited for presentation on the SyFy channel instead of the big screen, but it did play well in theaters. Similar themes were developed in The Banana Splits Movie, which didn’t have a video game pedigree. But catch this one on Amazon Prime if you have it. It’s fun, but won’t haunt your dreams. It just can’t be taken seriously, but there’s nothing wrong with that, and robotic furries are a kick…

(Foxy’s looked better, but haven’t we all?! And I could definitely get into the Robo-pirate fox scene, yarr! Lower yer flag and stand by to be boarded by the scourge of the Seven Seas, Matey!) 🦊

See y’all at Freddy Fazbear’s…or maybe the funny papers!

*Laughs hysterically and is taken away by nice young men in clean white coats* 🤪

Categories: absurdities, alternative realities, anthropomorphic, biomechanical, Brilliant but twisted, fantasy, furries, furry, furry films, furry movies, horror, humor, Questionably creepy, twisted reality
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Comments: 6 Comments

NJM’s “Private Eye” Commercial…

March 14, 2024

Private eyes…gumshoes…private dicks….I’ve always loved ‘em, especially in retro versions, or neo-ones like Rorschach of Watchmen. So when I saw this private eye walking into a dimly-lit diner, soft jazz playing in the background, this fox was hooked…

This private eye had the full look, complete with fedora and trench coat. His client, however, was an oddball…not that I should talk…and what exactly was he? When I first glimpsed him, I thought that he looked like ALF, the Alien Life Form popular for a few years on 80’s television. He seemed at first to have an elongated snout, and was definitely a furry…

…but no, not ALF. Maybe some kinda bovine, I dunno. Anyway, the detective brought him the information he sought, but he wasn’t gonna like it. It seems, ‘ya see, that NJM only had their customer’s best interests at heart, and there was no way that the mascot client could compete with that…

And ALF, I still remember ‘ya, buddy…but don’t even think about eating my cat!

Categories: advertising, alternative realities, anthropomorphic, furry, furry commercials, television, twisted reality
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Adam Sandler and the Space Spider of “Spaceman”

March 4, 2024

If you’re an arachnophobe, you’d better steer clear of Adam Sandler’s movie Spaceman on Netflix, because Sandler, as an astronaut in deep space, winds up sharing his spacecraft with an intelligent, human-sized creature that strongly resembles a gigantic spider, complete with multiple eyes and jointed appendages…

The movie isn’t a comedy, but might remind some of either an extremely good or bad acid trip, depending on your personal perspective. When Sandler gets over his initial shock and horror over the uninvited stowaway, he doesn’t reach for the can of Raid or Black Flag, finding instead that the arthropod is an explorer like himself who has studied Earth languages, and is more than capable of carrying on a thoughtful conversation…

The spidery alien assures Sandler that he doesn’t want to harm or consume him, and is adept at probing into Sandler’s mind where he finds that Sandler has what might be termed “relationship problems” with his wife on Earth. The empathetic “Spider-Man” has a soothing voice, is endlessly patient, and frankly appears to be a natural therapist who wants to help Sandler with his feelings, emotionality, and relationship. I swear that I am not making this up…

Sandler’s character, a Czech astronaut on a solitary mission to the purplish Chopra Cloud, is a morose and gloomy individual. The spider-alien, while repellent in appearance, becomes rather endearing, providing who he calls the “skinny human” with psychotherapy. The movie has an identity crisis, becoming an oddball psychological drama rather than traditional science fiction. As such, it may leave many viewers confused and unsatisfied, with an ambiguous, “write your own ending” resolution. The movie may change your opinion of spiders, however, terrestrial or otherwise. I just doubt that I’ll ever want to give one a big ole hug. This is high weirdness, indeed…

Categories: aliens, anthropomorphic, fantasy, furry, horror, sci fi, twisted reality
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Valentine’s Day, and the Insulting Kiss…

February 14, 2024

A Happy Valentine’s Day to all of my readers! Valentine’s Day holds a variety of bittersweet memories for me, and perhaps some of you can relate…

There were those cheesy, pun-laden Valentines I used to exchange with other kids in elementary school…and just look at this guy’s face! Cool and creepy at the same time. The flower in the mouth is a nice touch, adding to the “come hither” look… 💕

…and there were those many years when Valentine’s Day was a torment, leaving me yearning for a vixen when I didn’t have one. They sure didn’t go for the smart, nerdy types. Forever alone… *sighs*. 😩

But let us remember that not all kisses are romantic ones, as Bugs Bunny illustrates in a number of his classic ‘toons. After thoroughly humiliating and mocking an enemy such as Elmer Fudd, he often bestows a big, smoochy kiss on him, the insulting kiss, right before sprinting away…

The insulting kiss is an art form and a sublime expression, perhaps rendered to confuse as well as mock an adversary, leaving him befuddled so as to permit ample time for escape while also conveying the message that “you’re not a serious threat…you’re not even worth my time, and I grow weary of you!” 

Wouldn’t you like to see an insulting kiss planted on the face of a certain Republican presidential candidate? And a Happy Valentine’s Day, one and all! 

Categories: cartoons, famous furries, furry, twisted reality
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“Disenchantment;” the Middle Ages as Buddy Comedy

January 30, 2024

As Monty Python and the Holy Grail memorably showed us, the Middle Ages were not totally dead and dreary times, especially if approached with a sense of wry humor. Simpsons creator Matt Groening does exactly that in Disenchantment on Netflix, and the series works on many levels, especially if you like history, myth, and satire…

While too complex to adequately cover in a single blog post, the series concerns the life and exploits of a medieval princess, Tiabeanie (Bean for short), a teenaged hellion adept at gambling and barroom-style fighting who has modern sensitivities, and rebels against medieval conventions such as arranged royal marriages…

Seeking to chart her own way through life, Bean is accompanied by mythic medieval companions that mirror the duality of her own nature; an innocent, idealistic elf appropriately named Elfo, and a black demon straight from Hell called Luci (short for Lucifer)…

Luci is my standout favorite in the series, a 9,000-year-old demon as inky-black as the original Felix the Cat, and thought by most who encounter him to be a weird, talking cat. Yes, Luci is the furry character in the series, having horns, fangs, and a forked tail, who despite his denials often postures bodily and presents like a cat. Sent from Hell to guide the Princess towards chaos, indulgence, and destruction, Luci proclaims himself to be “the guy who makes you feel good about doing bad.” This is one cool, laid-back, savvy demon!

This cat-like demon evolves, however, taking a serious liking to Princess Bean, becoming a loyal companion, fighting against her foes, and eventually dying for her…a sacrifice so noble that Luci appears before God in heaven, earning the status of ascended demon, a kind of reverse Lucifer, if you will…a bad guy who becomes good!

So catch Disenchantment on Netflix, if only to visit this fantastic, drinking, smoking, drug-ingesting cat-like thing that I’d be pleased to have in my corner, anytime! Bad boys, of course, can make you feel so good! 🦊

Categories: alternative realities, Brilliant but twisted, cartoons, fantasy, furry, humor, Mythological, television, twisted reality
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NJM’s “Snowman” Commercial…

December 6, 2023

What could be more Christmas-y than a cute, smiling snowman? The one in this NJM insurance commercial is even rather pint-sized, so he’s not particularly menacing. Two kids are crafting the snowman, one of which looks a bit like Ralphie in A Christmas Story. And wouldn’t ‘ya know it, once they put Dad’s ball cap on said snowman, he’s comes to life in the best Frosty the Snowman tradition…

Rather than lead the kids in a parade, this snowman begins to sing about Polar insurance, “the coolest around,” He waves his stick-branch arms cheerfully about. The kids scream, and run away; Mom and Dad are still standing there, however, and the insurance-shilling snowman asks them if they have any hot chocolate. One wonders if the snowman has a death wish…

For a company that prides itself in having no mascots, NJM has produced for us some of the best mascots around…a variety, no less!

Categories: absurdities, advertising, alternative realities, Brilliant but twisted, commercials, humor, television, twisted reality
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Mountain Dew…”Your Soul Needs Dew” Commercial

November 6, 2023

This commercial for Mountain Dew blew me away…totally! It’s definitely furry-friendly. Three persons figure in it. A guy is working on his computer in a large office. He stares at his complexion on his monitor, and he is reptilian. A young woman in a diner happens to stare out the window, and sees her reflection as an exotic bird. A third guy is throwing out garbage in an alley, looks up, and sees his image as feline. This furry trio has gotta do the town, and they do!

We see these guys individually and collectively, the reptile viewing his reflection in an elevator glass and the big cat viewing his paw appendages. They go places, too, like a pool hall, making a fine entrance and getting admiring glances. The reptilian is shown performing in some kind of trendy club, playing to a receptive audience. Two of them are shown in an off-road vehicle. There’s no stopping these guys as they make the world their own in their idealized furry forms…

So enjoy…I think that someone out there in commercial-land finally understands the furry experience, and the inner self! And I’d drink a boatload of Mountain Dew if it would transform me… 🦊

Categories: absurdities, advertising, alternative realities, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, furries, furry, furry commercials, furry fandom, furry television, television, twisted reality
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The Halloween Spirit Off-Season…

November 4, 2023

When you’re a Halloween spirit shocked and overwhelmed by the cloying intrusion of Xmas well-ahead of time, it ain’t easy. I mean, I turned on my car radio on Halloween to find Frosty the Snowman playing…true story! This is why Halloween-spirited foxes are tempted to attack Xmas-playlist radio stations airing in October with chainsaws. It would only be poetic Justice, after all…

Now I’m already mourning the end of spooky season, but the Xmas people were already stepping all over me in late October. If Xmas feels that it deserves to be a two-month holiday, can’t we Halloween folks demand the same? Equal rights, eh Xmas? It’s only fair, after all…

Now Thanksgiving is perhaps the last chance to slow if not stop the Xmas juggernaut, but I don’t have much hope for that, as Thanksgiving icons are basically turkeys. Thanksgiving seems to be basically about grossly overeating, then unbuttoning the pants to fall asleep while watching football, at least in the minds of many…

Christmas just doesn’t listen. Never has, never will. It’s the Godzilla of holidays, fueled by commercialism and profit, and when money talks, business listens…

This doesn’t mean, however, that we can’t at least fight the good fight…and when people wish me “Happy Holidays,” I will urge them to remember Halloween! 🦊🦇🎃

Categories: fantasy, furry, humor, twisted reality
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