Archive for the ‘television’ category

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“Overworked Elf” Dean Winters Allstate/Walmart Commercial…

December 2, 2024

Aww!–It’s Xmas season again! And what could be a better antidote for that than Dean Winters playing an overworked elf!? Doesn’t the above scene look Christmas-y? A coating of snow, seasonal yard decor, and…gasp!– –Santa and his sleigh on the rooftop!

But there’s a rub…the Mayhem dude is playing Santa’s overworked assistant, and he’s ready to call it a night! Mayhem is wearing his suit, but clearly the worse for the wear. There’s soot on his face, maybe some bruises,and his tie is askew…it’s been a long night! Clearly, the elves need to unionize..

But I’ve always disliked elves of the relentlessly-cheerful variety. I like my elves world-weary, and a bit sarcastic, and Winters fits that bill perfectly! He’s already had a hard night, and so when he hands Santa his pack (“here you go, Boss!”), he fumbles, and the gifts go tumbling down the chimney! It gets worse, too, ’cause there a fire burning in the hearth! An expensive Apple laptop impacts and is broken open, and other gifts ignite! If you have ever dropped electronic devices even a short distance much less ignited them, you’ll know that this does not bode well for their functionality. Yuppers, Allstate insurance sure is needed for protection of these electronics, or as as our elf tells us, you’ll be “Ho-ho-SO out of luck!“

I also love the fact that Winters apparently has names for the reindeer other than what we are used to, referring to one of them as “Cliffton.” I’d be in favor of re-naming most of the reindeer, giving them relatable names such as Frank, Harry, and Clyde. This reindeer looks somewhat startled by the spectacle that he has just witnessed…

Dean Winters has given us Xmas elves before, memorably playing The Elf on the Shelf just a few years back. That elf was dressed in traditional elfish attire, and as human-sized, brought the shelf down that he was sitting on due to his weight. “Elf down!- -Elf down!,” he alerted from the floor…

So enjoy Dean Winters in this year’s holiday offering…he’s a national treasure, really!

Categories: absurdities, advertising, alternative realities, Brilliant but twisted, comedy, commercials, furry, holidays, television
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Comments: 5 Comments

NJM’s “Unicorn” commercial…

November 25, 2024

“I’m not a “rainbows and unicorns” kinda guy, but this brief NJM commercial features a well-rendered unicorn in a very Arthurian atmosphere…

When two guys go traipsing through a pristine and dense unspoiled forest talking about the one’s car, ethereal fantasy-type music plays, and a majestic white unicorn appears between some trees! He’s anthropomorphic and so can speak, of course, so he comments that the most magical things about NJM insurance is that they put their customers first. When asked by one of the two guys if he’s a mascot, the unicorn adamantly denies it, and proclaims that he’s just a fan of the insurance. Unicorns, if memory serves, could best be tamed by a virgin…

I guess that we could all use an occasional unicorn in our lives, which beats a pesky insurance salesman any day…

https://youtube.com/shorts/OnNVjAAD-fI?si=ZYptwHGkMigM81vP

Categories: advertising, furry commercials, imaginary animals, Mythological, television

Comments: 2 Comments

The Gospel According to “Felix…”

September 26, 2024

Exploding Kittens on Netflix is a hoot, although not for those who prefer their religion unpilloried…

It seems that God is felt by a divine council to need to be rehabilitated, and so He is sent to Earth in the form of a talking cat, devoid of his most useful but not all powers. He is to help a human family who prayed for his assistance, all the while contending against a similar demonic cat sent to thwart him… 🙀

This is pretty wild stuff that plays like Sunday School on heavy psychoactive medication. God-Cat has not long arrived on Earth before He is corralled by an animal control officer, and sedated. He escapes confinement, and goes on as a strange mixture of deity, human, and feline, railing against his cat incarnation while gradually embracing it. He learns the ways of man, and has frequent epic but hilarious battles against the opposing Devil-Cat.

You might say that God becomes a better fur-son because of all this, but you’ll just have to watch Exploding Kittens to learn of all the enabling details… Meow! 😸

(Foxsylvania proudly endorses Harris-Walz in 2024!)

Categories: absurdities, alternative realities, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, cartoons, furry, furry television, humor, television
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Comments: 14 Comments

A gritty, believable “Penguin…”

September 20, 2024

I didn’t like the version of Riddler or Batman that we saw in the movie The Batman, but I did like the version of Catwoman and The Penguin that we saw. We saw a bit of “Oz Cobb”(Oswald Cobblepot) in The Batman, enough to make me want to see more. Fortunately, Colin Farrell is back as The Penguin, and he makes the role both gritty and believable…

(Don’t hate him because he’s beautiful!)

Sure, Danny DeVito and Burgess Meredith gave us memorable versions of The Penguin that were fun, but so cartoonish that they couldn’t possibly exist in reality. Colin Farrell’s Penguin is no outrageous freak show with a pointed beak-like nose and flipper fingers, but rather a master gangster-like figure, perhaps what Tony Soprano could have been if he were far nastier and battle-scarred. Colin Farrell is a good-lookin’ actor who plays Penguin under heavy latex modifications that gives him a larger (but not beak-like) nose, extra pounds, and facial scarring. His hairline is receding and slicked back, and he walks with a pronounced side-to-side limp, perhaps a nod to the character’s waddle in previous incarnations. We see his bare foot in one scene, and it’s hideously deformed. This Penguin (who doesn’t like to be called that) knows his way around a knife and a machine gun, and wouldn’t be caught dead tooling around in a giant rubber ducky like Danny DeVito in the role…

Robin Lord Taylor got the role of the young Penguin much better and more realistic in the series Gotham, in my opinion. This guy was intelligent, adaptable, and ruthless…

So I’m glad to see this re-imagining of Penguin, and see the character given proper respect. No, he’s not my favorite Bat-villain, coming in my hierarchy after The Riddler and Joker. The limited HBO/HBO Max series takes up right after Riddler has flooded parts of Gotham in The Batman flick, and Oz Cobb is looking to fill in the gap in the power vacuum following the death of his boss with a mixture of shrewdness and brutality. No, you won’t see Batman in this, but he is out there, and no one knows just where. This is a crime drama told from the point of view of The Penguin himself…

Only the first episode of the series has aired as of this posting, and there are nods to the character’s comic roots in his gait and his use of an umbrella in the episode. Involved in the drug trade, this is Penguin as a tough, ruthless crime boss looking to climb the ladder, and this bird just might fly… 🐧

Categories: alternative realities, classics, television, twisted reality
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Comments: 5 Comments

Buffalo Wild Wings “Box Out” Commercial…

September 11, 2024

The buffalo in the Buffalo Wild Wings commercials appears to be a party animal, and as he shows in the Box Out ad, is a bit of the “bull in the china shop” beast as well, not that a pub equates to a china shop! The buffalo spokes-animal still manages to trash stuff pretty impressively, and that’s without being mad!

I’ve always kinda admired the Wild Wings buffalo as a rather well-rendered and impressive chimera, and he’s certainly articulate and expressive to the point of being brash or domineering. I doubt that his wings would be adequate, however, to enable flight, and support his massive bulk. They’re nice wings, nonetheless...

The buffalo, whose name is Hank, is voiced by Beck Bennett. Crafted for the March Madness event, the commercial is certainly mad and wild. Hank, who thinks that he knows a bit about playing defense, goes into a demonstration by unintentionally knocking people about, even breaking out the window, complete with a bodily ejection and flying glass. One would certainly want to be on this bison’s team, as his opponents might not survive him!

I’ve never posted about a buffalo before, but Hank does cut an impressive and imposing furry figure in this ad; you’d just want to think twice about inviting him to your apartment, however! Unanswered are the questions of whether Hank will be held liable for damages…

And BTW, this fox was born in Buffalo, New York!

And by the way, I just happen to have been born in Buffalo, New York! My university mascot was a bison!

Categories: absurdities, advertising, alternative realities, animal spokepersons, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, commercials, furry, furry commercials, humor, television, twisted reality
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Comments: 4 Comments

NJM’s “Secret” Commercial…

September 2, 2024

For a company that disavows mascots, NJM insurance presents a lot of mascots of the fictitious competition, and they frequently are pretty good! These dastardly mascots also try their best to cover up advertising copy for NJM. As this commercial begins, we are shown a peacock who spreads his tail feathers at a bus stop to cover a posted ad for NJM. Then at an office, the purple arm of some thing appears to close the lid of a laptop that might be preparing to display NJM copy. A large green” Kraken” hangs from the roof of a bus to spread its tentacles over an NJM ad. Lastly, a bear using a riding mower runs over and thoroughly shreds a delivered newspaper bearing NJM ad copy, pieces of which then float in the air like confetti around a bewildered homeowner…

It’s no “secret,” you see, that NJM insurance is so good that it stands on its own merits, and doesn’t need mascots…

Categories: advertising, anthropomorphic, commercials, furry, furry commercials, television
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Comments: 2 Comments

Toon In With Me…

August 15, 2024

There’s a strange live-action/animated anthology TV series hosted by “Bill” (Bill Leff ) , MeTV’s “cartoon curator,” along with his puppet friend, Toony the Tuna. One does not often see a fish co-hosting a TV show, much less a talking fish apparently comfortable out of water, but Toony manages. Toony even sports wardrobe changes!

Each show contains four to six animated shorts taken from classic cartoon shows, including Looney Tunes/Merrie Melodies, Tom and Jerry, Betty Boop, Popeye, Woody Woodpecker, and a number pf others. The shows featured mostly aired from the 1950’s through the 1990’s. In between cartoons, Bill and Toony banter about what the cartoons illustrate, as well as issues around the studio. The show can be mildly educational at times…

While the MeTV show airs early weekdays in many areas for just an hour, a more comprehensive 24-hour a day version called MeTV Toons began in late June, and is available through subscription, or if you’re fortunate enough may be available through your cable package in your local area. Several complete episodes are available for free through YouTube. At any rate, it’s nice to see a series dedicated to the airing of classic ‘toons, and we’ll just hope that Toony doesn’t wind up in a casserole or someone’s sandwich…

Categories: alternative realities, animal spokepersons, anthropomorphic, aquatic, cartoons, fish, television, Vintage
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Comments: 15 Comments

“Feed The Pig” Chase Commercial…

July 6, 2024

I find the “Feed The Pig” PSA commercial creepy, surreal, and oddly disquieting in that it features a human-sized pig, the walking and riding embodiment of a piggy bank, going about with a gaping slot in his head! The pig’s eyes are disturbingly human, while his face is frozen, and plastic-looking.

There is something terribly wrong here! With the gash in his head, the commercial makes me wonder who did this to the pig?! Is there some kind of Dr. Mengele or Dr. Moreau who goes about performing brain surgery on porcine members of the furry fandom, or what? What is the purpose of this mutilation? This pig walks, but is he brain-damaged? For some insane reason, this pig appears happy, and is just going about his business…does the pig even know what’s been done to him, or is he too neurologically-damaged?!

In the commercial, a young man shopping receives a text message that his bank balance is low, spots the pig walking along, and then hastily pursues him through a variety of scenes, the pig at one point riding a motor scooter, riding on an escalator, and in another appearing on a subway. The chase continues through the food prep area of a fine dining facility, and through the restaurant itself. The young man is in hot and frantic pursuit, dodging traffic, and even vaulting over a yoga class in a park to the sound effect of the Bionic Man, Steve Austin, jumping…

Eventually, the guy catches up with the pig outside a residence, tackles him, and stuffs a currency bill into the slot on his head! They are surprisingly polite to one another. “Same time next week?,” asks the dude of the the pig. “Well of course!,” the pig obligingly replies…

Created by the American Institute of CPAs and the Advertising Council in in the U.S., the Feed The Pig series of commercials is designed to get young people saving. I get it…but it’s also nightmare fuel! (*shudders*)

Categories: absurdities, advertising, alternative realities, anthropomorphic, commercials, fantasy, furry, furry commercials, furry television, television
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Comments: 3 Comments

NJM’s “Basement Storage” Commercial…

May 23, 2024

It’s kinda like the “Island of Misfit Toys” from the 1960’s Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer Xmas classic…NJM’s “Basement Storage” commercial, that is!

From their “No Jingles or Mascots” campaign, we see a rather remarkable animatronic elephant wheeled in, complete with a well-articulated trunk.  Activating once his human depositor leaves, the elephant wonders if he’s in mascot heaven.  He’s not in mascot heaven or hell, but purgatory might be more like it…the elephant has landed in a basement storage area for mascots unwanted and unused by NJM, mascot-companions for the elephant that include a gorilla and lion… 🙀

Unfortunately, the rejected would-be mascot elephant appears to short out, then repeating his initial query about whether he’s in mascot heaven.  ” Oh boy!,” comments the gorilla…

It’s not easy being robotic…

Categories: advertising, anthropomorphic, commercials, furry, furry commercials, television
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Comments: 4 Comments

Parasyte: The Grey…Tentacled Horror!

April 13, 2024

I’ve always loved SyFy horror, and the Netflix series Parasyte: The Grey is of that tradition. We’ve seen bits and pieces of like materials before, in such films as Invasion of the Body Snatchers and even Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan. You can watch the spiny little pods descend, and their worm-like spawn wiggle their way into people‘s ears, causing their brains to be consumed, and the hosts to become imitations of the people they once were…but with the capability of emanating deadly tentacles from their heads!

There’s something about tentacles that are Lovecraftian, alien, and deeply disturbing, especially when they’re topping off a human body!  These tentacles are powerful, capable of extending themselves to great lengths, moving heavy objects, and cutting through or slicing through flesh.  It‘s 100% nightmare fuel…

But one young woman assaulted by a psychotic slasher has her assailant terminated by an alien, and is unable to be assimilated because the alien expends too much of its time and energy healing her wounds, leaving her brain and humanity intact while conferring alien powers, and kind of co-habiting with the alien in her body. She uses these otherworldly capabilities to work with the humans (Korean) to fight against the aliens, and some glorious tentacled fights ensue…

The special effects are good, and oddly compelling...and who doesn’t enjoy a good tentacled fight, anyways? 🦊

Categories: aliens, alternative realities, horror, sci fi, television
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Comments: 10 Comments

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