Archive for the ‘television’ category

South Park’s “Woodland Critters” Return!

December 15, 2025

We haven’t seen the Woodland Critters on South Park in 21 years, and although many thought that we’d never see them again, they make a roaring return to the finale of South Park’s Season 28!

Now the Critters were originally created as part of a Xmas story dreamed up by 4th grader Eric Cartman for a twisted Xmas story that he wrote, and while they appear cute, lovable, and child-like are really satanic creatures with dark powers including the ability to summon demons and hellfire. They engage in murderous and sadistic acts, including the torture and murder of Strawberry Shortcake.

There are a dozen Woodland Critters that include a bear, deer, rabbit, squirrel, and a fox. All are named simply by adding a “y” to their species name, so here we have Foxy the fox. (We foxes do struggle to control our dark side, you know.) Despite their apparent innocence, the Critters are quite sadistic, and use their dark powers to engage in violent and despicable acts that I don’t wish to even describe in a blog that tries hard not to venture beyond PG-13 territory. This time, the Critters are all excited because Donald Trump has impregnated Satan, who is going to give birth to the Anti-Christ. Things get very strange in a show that includes a talking towel prone to getting high, Towelie…

I know of no other show that has an anthropomorphic, marijuana-addicted talking towel as a recurring character. In Towelie’s defense, however, the government created him, and he’ll do the right thing when he knows what’s going on. He’s actually saved the boys from an evil towel on one occasion…

South Park at its best reverses and confounds our expectations, and the re-appearance of the Woodland Critters after a long absence from the series is an example of that, mixed in with the saga of satirizing the Trump administration and its key players for several seasons.- – Y’all have a Merry Xmas now, ‘ya hear?

NJM’s Backlot “Mascots” Commercial…

December 3, 2025

NJM Insurance had earlier in a commercial shown us a tourist tram pulled aside in a backlot to observe a mascot commercial being filmed that involved costumed shark mascots, and now we are shown the same busy backlot where a number of mascot commercials are being filmed, necessitating a kind of traffic control function to stop pedestrians in order to allow mascots to pass…

…and a glorious and diversified mascot parade it is, too! There’s some kind of roller skating flamingo, what appears to be a catfish, my favorite, a fox, and a number of others. The mascot handler shouts corrections and admonishments to the mascots as they pass, such as “missing a fin,” and “get to it, fox!” Normally, we foxes would consider such comments rude, but work is hard to find…

The NJM commercial of course is to proclaim the fact that their company does not have mascots or jingles, but just great insurance…

Xfinity’s “Imagine That: Rabbits

November 27, 2025

Rabbits sure can multiply; employ algebra and calculus, not so much. And so when Papa Rabbit enters his home, he finds it jam-packed with his progeny, all moving about and enjoying internet-dependent activities like gaming, streaming, and on-line learning. Papa Rabbit desperately needs to run an internet search on “birth control…”

When Papa Rabbit manages to weave his way around the legion of offspring and trudge upstairs to see his missus, she is knitting tiny infant outfits, a universally-understood sign that she has a “bun (pun intended) in the oven,” three actually…but then, Momma Rabbit flips the top row to show that she has prepared six tiny outfits!

Papa Rabbit is devastated, his eyes big as saucers and his jaw dropping! Guess it’s too late for a vasectomy now. Good thing that Xfinity will lock in his internet price for five years, because he’ll need every bit of money he can muster to maintain his growing brood…

The commercial is rendered in the stop-motion style of Fantastic Mr. Fox, which lends a certain charm. Other ads in the Imagine That series have featured the Frankenstein monster and Jeff Goldblum. The song playing is The Green Grass Grows All Around, performed here by Louis Jordan…

“Drive Like An Animal” Progressive Commercial…

November 15, 2025

In a CGI Progressive Insurance commercial, we are shown animals driving. Human nature is seldom seen at its best when behind the wheel of a car, and the roadways can truly be seen as a jungle of sorts. The question that then emerges is, What kind of animals will you encounter while driving? And inevitably, What kind of animal are YOU when driving?!

We can largely imagine how a sloth might drive, but how about a deer? They freeze in headlights, of course! A lion drives ferociously, roaring and embodying road rage. Hyenas laugh as they zip across lanes. A ram drives true to his name…

And not to be forgotten, Progressive’s own spokesperson Flo voices a llama safely from curbside, reassuring that with Progressive that you won’t be held responsible for other people’s mistakes. In a reference to another llama commercial featuring a llama at a hairstylist, she asks also if people are staring at her because of her hair…

A Halloween Nod to “Witch Hazel…”

October 30, 2025

With Halloween nigh, I thought it might be appropriate to pay a Foxsylvania tribute to Witch Hazel, one of Warner Bros. mildly darker characters lightened by her humor and self-parody of witches in general. Witch Hazel is almost reminiscent of the Warner Bros. character of Granny, but turned slightly to the dark side…

Created by Chuck Jones in 1956, Witch Hazel was reportedly inspired by the witches of Shakespeare in Macbeth, but considerably more comic. Viewers knew that Witch Hazel would never actually eat children, nor defeat Bugs Bunny. Hansel and Gretel did actually appear in Bewitched Bunny featuring Witch Hazel, but Bugs handily thwarted her, masquerading as a truant officer to gain access to the witch’s abode. Hazel then tried to feed Bugs a poisoned carrot, but that didn’t go as planned for her, either…he’s apparently unintentionally rescued by Prince Charming in another crossover from fairy tales!

At the end of that episode, Bugs employs an accessed magic powder to turn the witch into a rather winsome female rabbit, walking off arm in arm with her. Breaking the fourth wall to address the viewing audience, Bugs informs us that he knows that this is a witch, but asks us if they (females) aren’t all witches inside! (*breath-taking gasp!*) Dialogue like this would probably not pass muster in today’s politically correct age…

( I don’t care, the female rabbit is still hawt! )

In Praise of “Gossamer…”

October 10, 2025

With Halloween coming, our attention turns (more than usual) to monsters, and an underrated cartoon monster is Gossamer, a creation of Chuck Jones who first appeared in the 1946 Warner Bros. cartoon, Hair-Raising Hare. Gossamer has a heart-shaped head and face, and is completely covered in reddish-orange hair, his only clothing a large pair of white or gray-white tennis shoes…

Now Gossamer is a creature of indeterminate species and sex, originally intended as an antagonist to Bugs Bunny, who quickly exploits Gossamer’s attraction to girly-type things like manicures and hair make-overs. Gossamer is also handily defeated even by Porky Pig in his space-cadet identity in service to Daffy Duck, calmly using a monster hair-clipper…of Acme manufacture, of course! And surprise…Porky’s clipper reveals that Gossamer is entirely made of hair!

Gossamer is essentially a paper tiger, so to speak, and while usually a hulking giant seen lurking in Gothic-type castles or even on Mars, he actually has a hidden shy and sensitive nature, and is more scared of people than you are of him. Enjoy the following compilation of Gossamer’s greatest moments that follows, and watch for a cartoon version of Peter Lorre right at the beginning!

The Werewolf of “Wednesday…”

September 14, 2025

To my knowledge, there hasn’t been an on-going werewolf character in a regular TV series since Oz on Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Josh in Being Human. Fortunately, the Wednesday series on Netflix has introduced a leading werewolf character, a female no less, in the person of Enid, the roommate of Wednesday Addams.

Now Enid is not your typical dark and tormented werewolf character, but instead a rather cheerful and bright-spirited young lady who is just at the start of her werewolf journey, in the process of discovering herself and experiencing her first transformations. She contrasts almost completely with the darkness of Wednesday, having her half of their shared room in bright colors whereas Wednesday’s half is black and gothic. When asked at one point how she feels, Enid responds, “warm and fuzzy!”

Her upbeat nature initially causes Wednesday to keep Enid at some distance, but their relationship grows during the series, and in the second season now completed it’s revealed that Enid is not only a werewolf but an Alpha, capable of changing into her wolf form willfully without a full moon. Should she do so at this point, however, she will be permanently locked into her werewolf form, unable to transform back to human status…

Well, it turns out that when Wednesday is prematurely buried by a series villain and in danger of death by suffocation, Enid’s powerful werewolf form is needed to excavate Wednesday from her grave just in time. Fearless and unshaken, Wednesday declares “I enjoyed that” of her burial experience; you gotta love this dark girl! Enid, however, is locked in her werewolf form and feral, and goes on the lam. She is pursued by (hooray!) Uncle Fester and Wednesday at the end of the second season, with Wednesday riding in the sidecar of Fester’s motorcycle, and Fester ecstatic about the fun they’ll have pursuing such a dangerous creature!

It will be interesting to see the further development of Enid’s werewolf character, who Wednesday promised to pursue and restore. One hopes that Season 3 of Wednesday will not be long in coming…

NJM “Tour Tram” Commercial…

September 9, 2025

Perhaps the older souls among us can remember the classic “land shark” routine played on the original season of Saturday Night Live…a voice would come to your door, announcing a delivery of perhaps a telegram or candy gram, and when you answered the door, a large rubbery shark head would descend over the tenant and drag them outside, another tragic victim of The Land Shark! Yea, verily, it is written that when the oceans are full, the sharks will hunt on dry land!

Well, just when you thought that it was safe to leave your house or apartment, the land sharks, courtesy of NJM Insurance, are at it again! They appear to have evolved, however, and are much more genteel, having developed legs and even wearing ties and carrying briefcases, probably to lure us into a false sense of security before they strike and glom down on people…

Now a tourist tram train appears to be visiting a Hollywood set, where their on-board host tells the passengers that they’re in luck, an insurance commercial is being filmed! One lady talks to her companion, wondering if they’re shooting an action feature. The video director calls for action,, and we see our genial shark, walking along just like any businessman…then the director calls for a stunt shark, who appears, changes places with shark #1, and gets blasted with water!

Our touring lady appears disappointed, commenting that nothing blew up…but perhaps Chief Brody should be put on alert, just in case! Maybe they’ll need a bigger boat…

We’ve heard of The Wolf of Wall Street…why not The Land Shark of Hollywood?

Allstate “Check First Neighbors” Commercial…

August 22, 2025

I find screaming goats, at the very least, disconcerting. Although such goats are not actually screaming but bleating or calling, their vocalizations are loud, and can sound eerily like a human in extreme duress, say being tortured.– -Why, you might ask, do some goats make these verbalizations? It could be a sign of hunger, distress, or simply an attention-getting device. It sure would get my attention and displeasure, pronto. You could build a low-budget horror movie around these goats!

In a recent Allstate commercial Check First Neighbors, a couple is celebrating their first night in a new house. They hear a muffled shriek in the background. Looking out the window, they find goats clamoring all over their neighbor’s yard! Then the goats become invasive…one even loudly screams at the new occupants from within their house! Why is the goat shrieking?- -Possibly he wants fed, or more grain in his diet; the scream is certainly an attention-getting device. Goat farmers have noted that the goats sometimes will keep up this behavior for half to three-quarters of an hour before giving up…

You see, our new homeowners had neglected to check out the neighbors before buying the property, and you really should do that. Allstate can then save you hundreds on your homeowners insurance…

About the only thing I can think of that might be worse than living next door to a herd of screaming goats would be residing next to a family of howler monkeys…

It’s “Wednesday” Again, and Full of Woe!

August 9, 2025

It’s been a long time waiting until Season 2, but Wednesday Addams is finally back on Netflix, which has added nicely to the series. For one thing, Wednesday’s brother Pugsley is now in the cast, and is far more fleshed out as a character than in previous imaginings of him…for one thing, he stands taller than Wednesday, although she remains dominant, and Pugsley has the ability to cast bolts of electricity from his hands, an electrical affinity that he shares with Uncle Fester…

Now the ability to readily tolerate and produce electrical current is a gene that apparently skipped father Gomez, who can boast no such powers. But thankfully Fester is back and wonderful, and we see him enjoying electroshock treatment in a psychiatric hospital, where he begs for more treatments! “They used to call it a Funny Farm!,” Fester reminds us about the institution where he self-admits to gather information for Wednesday. Warned that he may be tortured, Fester gleefully exults, “Oh, this is gonna be FUN!” You gotta love the guy…

Wednesday has a number of psychic gifts including precognition, and she can envision the past or future of an object or person by touching them. When her gifts are used too much, however, black tears stream from her eyes. At the Nevermore school (like Hogwarts but darker), Wednesday has become an icon for her fellow students, but despises that role. “Put me on a pedestal,” she counsels, “and I’ll burn it down!” Wednesday is kind of at odds with her mother Morticia in Season 2, at one point engaging in a blindfolded duel with her in the woods after dark (a family tradition, we are told)…

Unfortunately Season 2 thus far is just Part 1 of 2, and we must wait until September to see the remaining four episodes, but I’m sure that it will be worth the wait for Wednesday, a force of nature or perhaps the unnatural…