Archive for the ‘strange happenings’ category

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Divine Burgers?

January 14, 2012

 – – At a restaurant aptly named Hamburger Mary’s in Tampa, Florida, an image of the Virgin Mary has been reported on a stainless steel wall near the kitchen.  Remarkably, the diner has been known for gay karaoke nights and drag queen shows. 

The mark of a superior being or saint has likewise been seen in a Walmart receipt, cheese sandwiches, candle wax, Cheetos, rocks, overturned trees, walls, pizza pans, and even on a fish stick!   Some of these items have been offered for sale on internet auction sites.  Verily, the Lord moves in mysterious ways…

The perception of religious imagery in natural phenomena is sometimes called simulacra, and studies have shown that even visual perceptions can be affected by wishes, preferences, and desires.  The human mind prefers to perceive patterns, especially the pattern of a human face, in otherwise random phenomena.  Perception of an image is additionally mediated or filtered through culture, politics, and worldview…

Categories: psychology, research, science, strange, strange happenings, weird
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Comments: 3 Comments

Feline Survival Tale…

December 23, 2011

– – A large black and white cat survived a road trip of 200 miles and four hours duration while traveling under the hood of a car in Ohio last Sunday afternoon.  The driver of the car smelled something burning when he stopped at a rest area near his Cleveland destination, and raised his hood to discover the feline hitchhiker stuck in the engine compartment!

Although the cat suffered burns to his right side, he survived his ordeal remarkably well, and a vet who checked the cat out said that he’s going to be fine.  The cat has been named “Eclipse” as that was the model of the car, and the SPCA is trying to find the cat’s owner…

Categories: animal behavior, animal occurrences, furry, furry stories, strange happenings
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Comments: 2 Comments

Doomsday Reprieve?

December 4, 2011

 – – Alright, it looks like you may be able to relax a bit on December 21, 2012 after all!   That was supposedly the date when the Mayan Long Count calendar ran out, and all heck was supposed to break loose, culminating in the end of the world as we know it or hopefully at least of Facebook. 

Anyways, never mind!  A revisionist Mayan archaeology expert,  Sven Gronemeyer, says that his interpretation of certain hieroglyphs on a 1,300 year old  stone tablet found at Tortuguero in the Mexican province of Tabasco indicates that the 12/21/2012 date indicates the reappearance on Earth of the Mayan god of creation and war, Bolon Yokte, who will usher in a new  era on the planet, but not necessarily a destructive one.

That’s certainly a load off my mind!  I plan on putting together a nice fruit basket for the returning god, and then maybe we can organize a friendly soccer game or something…

Categories: controversial, doomsday, strange happenings
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The Agony of Da Feet…

November 13, 2011

 – – This one’s a real stumper:  British Columbia has been plagued by, err, dismembered human feet washing ashore, most of them still clad in footwear including boots and running shoes!–No, they were not Bigfeet!  At least nine feet have been discovered in British Columbia since 2007,  all except the most recent found in saltwater.  The hokey-pokey seems to have gone terribly wrong…

Medical examiners believe that the feet separated from dead bodies due to natural causes, with explanations ranging from displaced “body farm” subjects to tsunami victims to pranks…but something strange sounds afoot, and someone should give those investigators a hand…ahahahahaha!

Categories: body parts, strange happenings, unexplained
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Comments: 3 Comments

Invasion Imminent?

October 27, 2011

 – – I wish to inform you of this in order that you might make proper preparations; a giant LEGO man has washed up on a beach in southern Florida!  This is not just some kid’s toy lost in the surf; no, this sucker is eight feet tall!  I regard this to be the advance vanguard of a possible invasion force, and accordingly it is something to be taken at least as seriously as a zombie apocalypse.  And just look at the expression on his face; LEGO man knows something, but he ain’t talkin’…and I doubt that you’ll be able to get the truth out of him!

Even more alarming is the fact that several years back, another giant LEGO man washed up in the Dutch resort of Zandvoort…the same figure also appeared at a Brighton beach in the United Kingdom.  The Assistant Brand Relations Manager at LEGO has declined to comment, but did say that the “stunt” was “in no way endorsed or sponsored by the LEGO group or its affiliates.” 


Of course not!  The League of Nefarious Intent may be involved…

Categories: absurdities, strange, strange happenings, unexplained
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Comments: 2 Comments

Death from the Skies?

September 23, 2011

 – – Perhaps Chicken Little was on to something after all…a dead climate satellite about the size of a school bus is expected to plummet back to Earth around Friday, September 23rd or Saturday, September 24th.  While most of it will disintegrate in the atmosphere, over two dozen pieces weighing a total of about 1,200 lbs. are still expected to survive re-entry, the largest weighing about 300 pounds.  If such were to hit you on the head, it would probably ruin your whole day!

While this is the most massive NASA satellite to make an uncontrolled re-entry into Earth’s atmosphere in more than three decades, not to worry…the odds of the big nasty hitting anyone anywhere in the world are about 1-in-3,200.  The odds of you getting hit personally are on the magnitude of 1-in-21-trillion, meaning that you are much more likely to be struck by lightning or eaten by a shark than to be hit by a piece of the UARS satellite! 

Anyways, a killer satellite might really enliven an otherwise dull weekend…so “Look to the skies!”

Categories: science, space, strange happenings
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Gumby Goes Hardcore…

September 9, 2011

 – – I, for one, hate it when Claymation figures go bad…and so it was when a person dressed as Gumby walked into a 7-Eleven store in Southern California over Labor Day dressed as Gumby, claimed to have a gun, and demanded money!  I swear I am not making this up…I couldn’t write stuff this good!

Since Gumby tends to be slightly less than intimidating (while the Eddie Murphy version is clearly not to be trifled with), the store clerk treated the surreal customer as a lame joke, and essentially ignored him, telling Gumby that she didn’t have time to waste (No one really has time for Gumby these days, which might be at the root of the problem)! Disrespect from a convenience store clerk seemed to drive Gumby to extremes, causing him to counter, “You don’t think this is a robbery?  I have a gun!”  At that point the clay avenger fumbled inside his costume as if looking for a weapon, but alas his green gloves seemed to get in the way.  Instead of pulling out a gun, Gumby only dropped 27 cents on the floor, which won’t buy you much of anything these days.  Gumby’s apparent sidekick who had entered with the green dude then left the store, reappearing with a minivan which retrieved Gumby and departed…

…the clerk was unfamiliar with the Claymation icon, describing him to her boss as a “green SpongeBob SquarePants.”  Clearly, a major re-education program is necessary so that our young people can distinguish Gumby from SpongeBob.- -Pokey the horse would have been so mortified on all counts!  The police line-up for this one should be very interesting, and a $1,000 reward is being offered for the apprehension of the suspect!


And what lies ahead for our benighted society?- -Drive-by shootings by the Banana Splits characters?- -The Trix Rabbit going postal?  Some things are better left unconsidered…


Categories: absurdities, cartoons, strange happenings
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Comments: 4 Comments

Fugitive Cow…

August 17, 2011

 – – I’ve always felt empathy for fugitive cows, those bovines that feel the bloodline of the aurochs stir in them, and so do not go quietly to the slaughter… 

…and so to Yvonne, the six-year-old German cow, I say, You go, girl!  No milk dud, Yvonne escaped in May from a farm in Muehldorf, Germany where she was being prepared for the slaughter.  She made a new home for herself in the Bavarian woods, gaining the notice of authorities when Yvonne jumped in front of German police cars.  Deemed a traffic threat, hunters were then authorized to shoot the cow, which outraged animal rights activists.  An Austrian animal protection group then either offered or has already bought Yvonne from her original farm for 700 euros. 

While receiving much attention, Yvonne remained on the lam, prompting efforts to lure her in by sending bovine family members and friends into the wild.  A bull was even brought in by animal rights activists in an effort to romance the cow, but the bull turned out to be castrated, and Yvonne wasn’t fooled by this flimsy deception.  Things got weirder still when an animal psychic was consulted by the animal rights activists.  The psychic reported having contacted the cow by telepathy, saying that Yvonne was fine but didn’t feel ready to come out of hiding, fearing that the humans would lock her up and that she’d lose her freedom!

Meanwhile, the Hindu community recently issued a statement calling for German authorities to withdraw permission for hunters to shoot Yvonne, saying that the decision was ill-advised.  A German newspaper has also created a Facebook page, and offered a reward of over $14,000 to anyone who can capture Yvonne…

…my sympathies are on the side of the cow on the run, who has probably connected with the underground and awaits the furry revolution…long life and good fortune to you, counter-culture bovine!- -Fight the power, Yvonne!

Categories: animal rights, animals, furry, furry causes, furry heroes, strange happenings
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Comments: 3 Comments

Waiter, There’s a Fly…

August 12, 2011

 – – People are forever finding flies and other repulsive foreign objects in their food, in some cases putting such objects in the food item themselves in the hopes of pursuing profitable litigation or at least getting a free meal.  I’ve found hair in restaurant food on numerous occasions.  Well, along these lines a woman in China recently bought some yogurt, ate half of it in the morning, and put the remainder in her refrigerator, returning that afternoon to consume the rest of it.  When the afternoon’s yogurt tasted funny, the woman spat it out to find…a dead fly!

 

We hope you weren’t eating, gentle readers.  Anyways, when the woman complained to the yogurt manufacturer, Bright Dairy & Food Co., company officials didn’t apologize or offer the customer a refund.  Rather, they asked her to autopsy the fly to make sure that it had gotten into the yogurt before she had opened it.  This rather put an end to the matter, as there aren’t many medical examiners offering fly autopsies.

Instances of food adulteration like this have given rise to use of the term mealbreaker to refer to a nasty, non-edible surprise found in food while it is being eaten.   Examples might include the bloody bandage reportedly found baked into a pizza, and of course the overalls found in Mrs. Murphy’s chowder…


Categories: insects, strange happenings, unexplained, weird
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Wash and Wear Kitty…

August 4, 2011

 – – Sometimes even being cute isn’t enough to save you from being put through the ringer, or at least the washer.  Maybe it was one royal wedding too many, but something drove Princess, an eight-week-old kitten in the UK city of Aberdeen, into a washing machine where undetected, she survived a one hour washing cycle. 

The kitten was found after the wash cycle concluded, clinging for dear life to a pair of jeans. Rushed to a vet following her ordeal, the kitten was shaken, shivering,  and had  a nose bleed and sore eyes but suffered from no lasting damage.  Cats like to hide in small, dark, and sometimes warm places such as washers and dryers, and such appliances should accordingly be checked by feline owners for occupants prior to use …

Categories: animal behavior, animals, strange happenings
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