Archive for the ‘furry’ category

Chupcabra Video?

August 12, 2008

–Another Chupacabra video has recently surfaced, this one supposedly made by a sheriff’s deputy.  Most of the alleged Chupacabra videos and pictures viewable so far on the internet are either so out of focus as to be anything, or they are laughable fakes.  Something may yet come of the roadkill specimen preserved in a freezer in Cuero, Texas.  I saw a brief snippet of the video on the news in which I only saw the life form from the rear as it retreated; definitely a canid.  Some say that the creature is a gray fox with a bad case of mange, or a strange coyote…

…if the “strange coyote” is equipped with an assortment of Acme products, we’ll probably be seeing more of him… 😉

Python in Your Pants?

August 9, 2008

–Is that a giant Burmese python in your pants, or are you just glad to see me? –Well, it was a giant python, and it did enter the pants of a meteorologist doing a broadcast at the Des Moines Iowa state fair.  The python was originally placed on the weatherman’s shoulders, but of course didn’t stay there, crawling at first to the man’s head and giving him a “kiss,” then entering one leg of the guy’s shorts and exiting the other.  The broadcast was cut off as the snake was, err, extracted…

New England Vampires

August 7, 2008

MonsterQuest reports that New England, in addition to giving us the Salem witchcraft trials and the Kennedys, also had quite a vampire scare in the 18th and 19th centuries.  Some of those suspected of being vampires even had their mortal remains dug up and mutilated, as in the case presented of J.B., whose femurs (thighbones) were crossed in an “X” over his chest in addition to having his head removed from his spinal column and his ribs broken.  This was all in an effort to break the supposed “grasp of the vampire,” their alledged curse upon and conversion of the living.  Many of the poor souls thought to be vampires in actuality had “consumption,” which we now refer to as tuberculosis. In the late stages of that highly infectious disease, blood would be coughed up and appear on the lips, leading to speculations of blood-drinking.

The show also presented many other aspects of vampirism, including a discussion on the so-called “psychic vampires,” who supposedly don’t drink blood but rather feed off life and psychic energies.  I, for one, can vouch that being in the presence of some individuals leaves me feeling utterly drained

But as for me, give me a good ole werewolf over a vampire anyday!

Deep Philosophical Furry Questions…

August 6, 2008

–There are great imponderable furry questions, such as who would win a race between Speedy Gonzales and the Road Runner?–The answer to that one is moot, since Speedy Gonzales would these days be judged politically incorrect, and possibly deported to Mexico as an illegal alien.  The question that we consider here is who would win a fight between Dracula and a Werewolf.

My speculation is that it would be a Battle Royale, worthy of respectful review and analysis for decades to come.  I believe, however, that The Werewolf would prevail.  For a visual portrayal of just such a battle, I recommend the under-rated movie Van Helsing with Hugh Jackman (“Wolverine”) in the title role and also portraying a werewolf…he captures the torment of being a werewolf, illustrating that most are not really bad individuals but souls unwillingly under a curse…and the climatic Dracula v. Werewolf battle scene I never tire of seeing, with glorious, no-holds barred, high-flying kinetic combat portrayed!–Two paws up, and they couldn’t be higher!–Makes me proud to be furry!

The Afflicted…

August 6, 2008

–The gypsy chihuahua Sylvia regarded the sweating man who sat before her in the small enclosed wagon that served as her home.  “So, Mr. Talbot,” inquired the chihuahua, “what can I do for you?”  The question was at best a formality as the gypsy already knew, just as she knew all things that were to come.

“Great gypsy,” said a very anxious Lawrence Talbot, “I know that you have awesome powers!”

“This is true,” responded the petite chihuahua, looking modestly at her paw but pleased at the compliment.  “Please continue…”

“Gypsy, I bear the mark of the werewolf!–I cannot endure another cycle!–Free me, I beg you, of this curse!”

“What you ask requires powerful magic,” cautioned the gypsy, “and is not without its price!”

“No price is too great, Gypsy!,” assured the anguished Lawrence Talbot.  “Hurry, I beg you, before the moon rises!”

“As you wish, then,” proclaimed the gypsy, working herself into a trance-like state and raising her saxophone.  Her mouth then gaped open and she uttered the following spell, each verse punctuated by bluesy licks on her saxophone:

“When moons shall rise,/ and bring you dread/ take you my curse/I yours instead!”

The mysterious gypsy recovered from her trance as Lawrence Talbot jolted and twitched as if in a seizure.  He then was still, opened his eyes, and exulted “I’m free, gypsy woman!–Your remarkable spell has freed me of this curse at last!–But suddenly I understand all mysteries, and can foresee the future!”

“And the down side, is?,” asked Sylvia with a dismissive wave of her paw.  “So go take your new powers and make a fortune in the stock market, or perhaps at the racetrack!”

His eyes opened, the former Wolfman enthusiastically shook the gypsy’s paw.  “You’ve given me a new life, Sylvia!,” he proclaimed.  “I can never thank you enough!”

“Which doesn’t mean that you should stop trying,” counseled the gypsy.  Nodding his head, the reborn man left the small wagon and vanished into the night.

As the moon rose, the gypsy began a startling transformation into a were-chihuahua, a snarling beast with menacing claws and savage teeth.  A slight smile crossed the face of the transformed gypsy.  “What is one man’s curse is another’s fondest dream!,” she observed before flinging herself into the night to begin the first of many successful hunts…

(…with thanks to Lon Chaney and John Dilworth!)

The Hairy Man

August 5, 2008

–No, the Hairy Man is not a guy in desperate need of a back waxing, but rather a Native American Bigfoot analogue dating back in their art and descriptions for a thousand years.  Sightings and reported destruction have occurred in Canada.

Native American sentiments are positive towards the Hairy Man, who is seen as being a benign protector dangerous only if crossed or opposed.  Very cool are associated myths that humans and animals once shared communicative capabilities, circumstances which ended when man began to think of himself as better than the animals…

The Montauk Monster!

August 3, 2008

–This washed up on a beach off New York’s Long Island, smelling of rotten flesh.  Dubbed The Montauk Monster, it looks like a bloated hairless dog or big rodent but with an eagle-like beak; the specimen wasn’t really large in size, kind of a mini-monster.  It has been compared to a large turtle without its shell, though some think it’s a decomposed raccoon.  Comparisons have also been made to hell-demons and aliens, with some opting to believe that it’s a previously unknown marine mammal or something produced by a nearby genetics lab.  Still other think that this was just a clever Photoshop creation.

The remains have been spirited away, some say by an old man who planned to mount and display it in his den.  Others claim two young dudes have it in a large zippered case such as a bedspread would come in, pending further examination.

I hope we see this again, but doubt that we shall…

Disney Animal Sidekicks

August 1, 2008

Disney cartoon movies follow a formula which almost always includes an amusing animal sidekick; an example of such would be the raccoon Meeko in the film, Pocahontas. There are many other examples which can readily be cited; the meerkat and warthog to Simba in The Lion King, to name others.  The sidekicks are usually funny, and may at times provide comic relief for a serious situation, guide the main character, or serve as alternative “selves” to that character.  The Disney formula has been both popular and successful, but may portray the animal sidekicks as lightweights rather than stand-alone characters.  This can kind of reinforce the “kiddy character” of animated Disney flicks, although they often may be the only films with furry characters that many adults see, and that to please or entertain their kids.

My favorite Disney film?–Why, Robin Hood, of course, featuring as it does a fox properly portraying the title role…

Jurassic Fight Club!

July 29, 2008

–God, I am psyched!–Jurassic Fight Club debuts on the History Channel Tuesday night at 9:00, at least in my area.  Using scratches found on dino fossilized remains, paleontologists and other experts hypothesize on what fights might have lead up to evidence of those injuries, and reconstruct the fights with computer technology.  There will be consideration of dino tactics, techniques, and even psychology.  As usual, we’ll have to listen to windbags pontificate, but that comes with the territory.

This ain’t gonna be Barney the Dinosaur stuff, although Barney could probably kill most species by inducing sickening nausea. The first episode is reported to include cannibalism, dead young ones, and blood.–Alright, I’m in!!!–While the show probably won’t live up to its hype, Jurassic Fight Club might be fun, at least for a time…’cause in the first Ultimate Fights, there wasn’t any “tapping out!”  I’ll update when I’ve actually seen the show…

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I was disappointed in the show; most of what you wanted and expected to see occurred in the last five minutes in terms of the actual dino fighting scenes.  As Dr. McCoy once commented to Mr. Spock in Star Trek (The Original Series), “A little less talk, and a little more action…that’s what we need around here, Mr. Spock!”    😉

The Jersey Devil

July 26, 2008

–The Jersey Devil, also known as The Leeds Devil, is a cryptic animal reputed to inhabit the Pine Barrens in southern New Jersey.  The creature was first described in the 1700’s, with sightings reported as recently as 2008.  Most accounts describe the Jersey Devil as having a long neck, wings, and hooves.  The long neck has brought comparisons to the giraffe, while the head is elongated and horse-like.

Legend is rich surrounding the origins of the Jersey Devil, with a Mother Leeds in colonial times reputed to have had twelve children while learning that she was pregnant with a thirteenth child.  “Let it be a devil!,” the woman is reported to have said with understandable exasperation, and so it was!  The product of Mother Leeds’ thirteenth pregnancy ate its mother and siblings, and then burst into the outside world.

By some accounts, the Jersey Devil is said to have red eyes with hypnotic or paralyzing impact.  Some locals regard the Devil affectionately as a protector or kind of area mascot, and it is a source of attraction for tourists and related merchandising...