Archive for the ‘furry’ category

AAA “Accident Rewind” Commercial With Beaver…

February 17, 2014

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– –  Beavers are known for being industrious, and apparently at times they’re a bit evil as well!  In an AAA insurance commercial, we are shown a family of four riding along in a red SUV as birds chirp when they spy a beaver gnawing at a tree.  “Daddy, Daddy, look…a beaver!,” cries one girl from the back seat.  “Oh, he’s so cute!,” chimes in the mother, riding shotgun in the front seat.  “Oh, no no no no no!,” redundantly corrects the father.  

Father knows best, apparently.  We are given a close-up of the beaver, who emits a sound between a growl and a hiss, and drops the tree directly at the family’s SUV!  Fortunately, it’s technology to the rescue!  Dad hits a switch inside the vehicle, and the car is instantly protected by a surrounding, shimmering shield, like those deployed by Star Trek spacecraft against enemies.  The tree is halted harmlessly by the energy field!- – I’d give anything to have one of those!

Sadly, though, 24th century technology isn’t here yet.  “Until there’s an impenetrable force field to protect your car from woodland creatures, there’s the next best thing…insurance from AAA!,” declares the announcer.  I don’t understand why we woodland creatures are getting a bad rap here, but if I can’t get a force field, I’m willing to settle for a Jetson’s flying car.  The future is taking too long to get here…*sighs*

Body Slammed By A Lowland Gorilla!

February 10, 2014

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– – In another of their memorable and comic commercials in which one event leads to another, DirecTV tells us the sad tale of someone who pays too much for cable, causing him to feel down.  When you feel down, you stay in bed…and when you stay in bed, they give your job (in this case, zoo keeper) to someone new.  When your job is given to someone new, that someone has a lot to learn…and when someone has a lot to learn, mistakes are made…like failing to secure a cage, which results in a gorilla escaping behind the new keeper’s back.  When mistakes are made, you get body slammed  by a lowland gorilla when you leave your bed to get the paper….a gorilla named “Jimbo!”

We are admonished not to be body slammed by a lowland gorilla, but rather get rid of cable, and upgrade to DirecTV.  Depression is a terrible thing, and so is being mowed down by a rampaging gorilla.  – -I’ll take their word for it!  One can, I am told, profit from the mistakes of others…

Mr.Peabody & Sherman…

February 8, 2014

Peabody– – I suppose that I shouldn’t be surprised that a movie is being made of Mr. Peabody & Sherman, since movies and sequels have been made of The Smurfs and The Chipmunks.  If there’s a chance that parents are familiar with the original subject, a movie treatment serves to introduce children to the character, and film makers hope that a profitable franchise is born.  

Now The Rocky and Bullwinkle Show was a gem in the 1960’s, and has already been subjected to a movie treatment.  Besides introducing us to Rocket J. Squirrel and Bullwinkle Moose, the Rocky and Bullwinkle Show had other unrelated ‘toon features that included Dudley Do-Right and Peabody’s Improbable History segments.  Mr. Peabody was a talking, bespectacled, intellectual white dog who in a role reversal had an adopted boy, Sherman.  Through use of a time machine, Peabody and Sherman would travel back in time in episodes to encounter memorable historical figures, teaching Sherman of their significance and at times benevolently influencing the turn of events.  

Based on these memorable offbeat characters, Mr. Peabody & Sherman is an American 3D computer-animated adventure-comedy produced by DreamWorks Animation, and involves Sherman’s misuse of the WABAC time machine with subsequent efforts by Peabody and Sherman to put things back on track before the space-time continuum is destroyed, a problem common in science fiction.  As with the original shorts, the film is described as sweet-natured and amusing, with enough witty touches to keep adults entertained as well.  In theaters March 7th…

Doritos Breakroom Ostrich…

February 4, 2014

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The 2014 Superbowl was not especially memorable for either football or commercials, but the Doritos ad featuring an ostrich was cute.  The  short spot began with an office boss dressing down two employees for eating all of the Doritos in the breakroom, plus making an awful mess.  One of the two employees just so happens to be be a full-sized ostrich…

…the crime scene itself is then recreated, as we are shown the balding male employee scarfing down every Dorito in sight, and indeed making quite a mess in the process; he would seem from the wrappers to prefer the nacho flavor variety.  The ostrich appears in the doorway and observes the spectacle, casting a disapproving gaze and then backing out; the man says nothing.  When the boss is then confronting the duo and telling them that the offense has been narrowed down to one of them, the human shamelessly says that the ostrich is “obviously” the culprit, at which point the ostrich does a memorable and wide-mouthed gasp!  Obviously, some humans are capable of anything

…and darned if I don’t have an incredible desire to eat some Doritos right now, although I prefer the ranch flavor…ranch, Mmm!

Evil Gnomes, Bigfoot Wars, Hell Hounds…

January 13, 2014

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– – On Monsters and Mysteries in America as recently aired on the Destination America channel, we were treated to a full banquet consisting of segments on Bigfoot Wars, Evil Gnomes, and Hell Hounds. Much of this good stuff was reported in the vicinity of the Sierra Mountains in California, where according to legends, Bigfoot guards certain areas and defends them as his own. It seems that in prehistoric times, Native Americans and Bigfoot creatures came to blows when Bigfoot invaded Native American settlements, stealing and reportedly eating a child. In the culture clash wars which ensued, Native American spear and arrow technology was apparently sufficient to cause negotiation of a peace between the two groups, and the establishment of separate territories, boundaries of which are respected and enforced to this day.

In 2011, an expedition ventured into a Sierra Mountains canyon, where howling and screams were heard at night and audio was recorded of the same. The next day, one of two trucks used by the expedition became mired in the mud, and the expedition party departed in their one usable vehicle. When they returned for their second truck days later, the access road was barricaded in four locations, with the last obstructions so massive as to barely be movable; it was speculated that these barricades were warnings to the expedition members that their presence wasn’t wanted in that territory. Finally making their way back to the abandoned truck, the investigators found a large smudge on the vehicle’s windshield of a beast’s face. DNA was later extracted from the slobber, but showed human contamination. Might this finding possibly reflect a possible partial human heritage to Bigfoot as some have speculated?

A second segment reflected events in Porterville, California where a family was supposedly plagued by an “evil gnome.” No, I am not making this up! Reports of gnome-like creatures come from diverse locations around the world. The Thomas family in 1999 heard running noises and cackling laughter around their home prior to a face-to-face encounter returning home one night from a shopping trip; on that occasion, the panicked mother ran into her house. Later, the gnome reportedly came up to a window, cheeky devil! Two nights later, the gnome trashed the family garden, and repeated vandalisms occurred thereafter. Eventually the family moved, but later contacted a former resident at the property who had experienced similar problems. The gnome was thought to have lived in a shed on the property which was later demolished. He was probably distraught over that; there’s no place like gnome…

Finally in Palm Springs, California there are reports of hell hounds, which are described as being black with glowing eyes and razor fangs. In 2013 a retired guy reports having seen a pack of them, saying that they looked like dogs with the head of a wolf, and larger in size than these species. A neighboring man had his car cover and bumper ripped up pretty impressively, presumably by these beasties…

Wendigo, Dogman, and Wolfman…

January 6, 2014

– – Things went to the dogs or at least the canids on a recent episode of Monsters and Mysteries in America. For those partial to werewolves, the first segment presented the Beast of Bray Road, a wolf-like creature seen more than 100 times in Wisconsin since the 1940’s. Incidents involving the beast seemed to peak in the 1980’s, when a Lori Endrizzi encountered an upright creature consuming road kill along a road that she was traveling home; it appeared to be developing interest in the woman as a second course before she managed to get her stalled car started and escape. A later encounter was also profiled that occurred in 2006 when a Steve Krueger was picking up deer carcasses when something rocked his truck and helped itself to both a deer carcass and an ATV ramp in the bed of his pickup! He gunned his truck and also escaped, although the missing ramp later couldn’t be located.

A second segment profiled the Dogman, more of a spirit-based creature seen near Holly, Michigan with more than 100 sightings of similar cryptids across the world. A 2005 incident was presented where a repo man was driven off by a man-dog type hybrid which drove him off the property he had entered to reposess a Cadillac.

Lastly and perhaps most terrifying were the accounts of the Wendigo, a rather nasty entity with a taste for human flesh rooted in North American legends and said to frequent the North Woods of the Great Lakes region. The Wendigo takes over people like an infection, possessing them with a cannibalistic hunger so intense that the creature is said to chew off its own lips and gnaw on its fingers. A case was presented where a Cree Indian in the 1870’s had killed and eaten his own family, claiming at his own hanging that he was no longer a man but rather possessed by a Wendigo. In a modern case from 2008, a border on a Greyhound bus attacked a fellow traveler, decapitated him, paraded around the bus with his victim’s head like a trophy, and supposedly ate pieces of flesh from his victim…again supposedly possessed by the Wendigo, which in its true form appears as a frozen, cadaverous monster…truly scary stuff!

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“Goat Man, Goat Sucker, and Zombie Soldiers”

December 17, 2013

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– – A recent episode of Monsters &  Mysteries in America as viewed on the Destination America channel lured viewers in with the assorted collection of paranormal and unexplained curiosities listed in our post title, unified only by their Texas location.  The segments were entertaining with content mostly seen elsewhere but mounted differently here, and healthy scientific skepticism is encouraged due to the speculative nature of the topics.  Their appearance in this blog does not mean personal endorsement of the viewpoints or explanations given by such programs.

The Goat Man segment concerned reported appearances of a large, hair-covered cryptic creature six to seven feet tall estimated to weigh 300 to 400 pounds in the Lake Worth area of Fort Worth, Texas.   In some accounts, the beast is reported to have scales on its face and horns on its head about six to eight inches long.  Also known as the Mud Man, appearances of the creature were multiple in the summer of 1969, after which time it seemed to go into hiding until being seen again in summer of 1990.   In one encounter portrayed, the Goat Man came out of trees to land on top of a car parked in a lover’s lane in the Lake Worth area, trying to grab the arm of the woman within.

A second segment of the hour episode concerned the chupacabra sightings in the Cuero, Texas area.  Some reported footage of an unidentified beast with a massive head and ears was presented that was filmed from a pursuing sheriff’s car in 2008; canid-like, this creature escaped further pursuit and identification by running off the road.  A nutritionist, Dr. Phylis Canion, was then portrayed whose ranch had experienced chicken slaughter incidents.  A deceased specimen of the beast was found on a nearby road, and actually maintained by the woman in a home freezer before being sent out for testing; DNA results did not match the creature with known animals such as dogs or coyotes, with the conclusion made that it was an unknown species.  Some have concluded that the Cuero chupacabra is a hybrid creature, possibly with a skin condition such as mange.  The segment differentiated the Cuero sightings from those associated with chupacabra sightings and encounters in Puerto Rico, where the creature is more alien in appearance and apparently capable of at least some degree of bipedalism.

Lastly and perhaps with least credibility was a report of “zombie soldiers” in the Brownsville area of southern Texas, with the suggestion made that such appearances are associated with fighting in the area which occurred in the Mexican-American or Civil War.  The shorter segment detailed an incident in summer of 1985 when a young couple in a truck pulled off on a side road at night to pursue some sleep.  A knock came at the truck door with the couple exiting the truck cab to investigate, following a light seen ahead, and subsequently being encircled by zombie-like individuals attired in similar fashion, as in “Walking Dead”episodes.  The couple managed to make their way back to the safety of their truck, and gunning the vehicle escaped in it back to the main road.  Handprints were later discovered all over the truck’s exterior. A bloody battle of the American Civil War had supposedly taken place on the grounds of their encampment in 1865.

Hinging just on the account of the couple involved, the third segment had the flavor of an urban myth, although the area involved has a history supportive of ghostly encounter tales…pleasant screams!

Bear at a Bar!

December 9, 2013

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– – I’m always sad to see an animal turn to strong drink, although lord knows bears have good reason to; they’re hunted, exploited, and subjected to Yogi Bear type portrayals.  Still, the bear portrayed in the brief Jim Beam honey bourbon whiskey commercial seems to be holding it together pretty well, even if he is monopolizing the stock of Jim Beam Honey at a bar where a customer asks the barkeep if there’s any left of it; you know how bears are reputed to be with honey and all, they’ve got that Winnie-the-Pooh thing going on…

…well, the bartender slides a glass down to the unnamed bruin, who apparently is a well-known customer at the establishment.  He obviously knows his way around the bar, and also the stringed instrument that he is shown strumming at the end of the commercial. – – Remember, bears, know your limits, and drink responsibly!

 

Geico “Pig in a Blanket” Commercial

December 3, 2013

maxwell football– – Geico’s Maxwell the pig is back in a commercial spot again, this time at a football game where he is again demonstrating the capabilities of his Geico app to a friend, even in the midst of a a crowded stadium.  It’s evidently a chilly day prompting some extra covering in the outdoor facility, and pretty soon the stadium cam zooms in on Maxwell, causing his image to appear on a giant screen, together with the legend, “Pig in a blanket!” For the uniformed, this refers to a recipe for hot dogs prepared wrapped in crescent rolls.  We’ll overlook the additional fact that footballs were once referred to as “pigskins.”

“Guess I walked into that one,” quips Maxwell, who at this point could use some better material…

DirecTV Spot, “Attack of the Squirrels”

November 24, 2013

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– – Squirrels seems to have come into their own lately, appearing in more and more commercials. We’ve seen squirrels engage in kind of a sweat shop revolt in an earlier Sears commercial, and once again, the small rodents are combining in numbers to overwhelm and freak out hapless humans. Sure, they’re cute…but would you want large numbers of them hanging on you, as with this gentleman?

We are shown an adult man named”Dave” crossing a park who is converged upon by multiple squirrels, and verbally orders them to go away. The narrator tells us that the squirrels aren’t listening to Dave, and just don’t seem to care what he says. How very different this is than the DirecTV system, which can be verbally ordered to find kiddie movies, and is fully compliant. Meanwhile, poor Dave is left agitated and spinning about in the park with a myriad of squirrels hanging onto him in a scene reminiscent of the rat attacks from the movie, “Ben.” — The horror, the horror!

We are not shown the ultimate fate of Dave, and the squirrels aren’t talking, either. — What is their agenda? Vigilance is accordingly advised!