Archive for the ‘fantasy’ category
October 4, 2019
In the next installment of The Masked Singer, viewers were treated to an arachnid, an avian, and two mammals competing. The Black Widow’s costume was the stuff of nightmares, and she would have been an appropriate villainess on the 1960’s Batman show. One can imagine Burt Ward’s Robin spouting a line like, “Holy entanglement Batman, it’s the Black Widow!” Then those multiple arachnoid limbs would wrap around the Boy Wonder, causing Batman to whip out the Bat-Spray from his utility belt…
But Black Widow did have the vocal chops to best The Leopard in voting for their initial sing-off, belting out a Whitney Houston number to Leopard’s “Somebody to Love” by Queen. Leopard sported kind of a queenly medieval royalty outfit, but was surprisingly a guy!
Then there followed Flamingo, a rather cheesy costume but a good female performer who belted out Sucker by the Jonas Brothers. She outvoted Panda, another female who sang “Stronger (What Doesn’t Kill You)” by Kelly Clarkson.
In the “Smackdown” second chance match-off of previous round losers, Leopard with a performance of Aretha Franklin’s “Respect” bested Panda’s rendition of “All I Do Is Win.” Unmasked at the end of the show, Panda was revealed to be Laila Ali, Muhammad Ali’s daughter! Had this been another kind of smackdown, Ali undoubtedly would have won…
The Masked Singer continues to present a weird and wacky mixture of American Idol with The Gong Show, and is furry-friendly. As too much sanity can be madness, I like this warped concoction, with off-the-wall comedian Ken Jeong as one of the judges and a whipped-up audience enthusiastically egging on the performers…
Categories: absurdities, anthropomorphic, avian, Brilliant but twisted, fantasy, furry, television
Tags: The Masked Singer
Comments: 4 Comments
September 27, 2019
The Masked Singer is back for a second season on Fox, that show which plays like American Idol on psychotropic drugs. Contestants wear full body costumes head to toe which totally conceal their identity, and perform popular musical numbers for which they are judged over intervening weeks in an elimination contest. The show is hosted by Nick Cannon, and also features celebrity panelists including Robin Thicke and Dr. Ken Jeong. Shamelessly weird, the show also incorporates “security personnel” who dress like the Men in Black attired in black suits and ties and wearing sunglasses at all times. I’m OK with all of this, as I prefer my fantasy worlds to reality, anyways…weird is good, and works for me!
Episode 1 for the second season commenced with a contestant called Butterfly performing Bang, Bang in competition with Egg who performed Just Dance. The costume worn by Butterfly was suitably dazzling and iridescent, and coupled with a good set of pipes enabled her to emerge victorious over Egg, who was later unmasked to reveal Johnny Weir. In a second matchup, Thingamajig (don’t ask) performing I’m Easy defeated Skeleton who performed Rappers Delight. A third pairing pitted Ladybug who sang Holding Out for a Hero against Rottweiler, who won with Maneater performed against a chain link fence that also appropriately housed a fire hydrant, which thankfully he didn’t use during the performance. Rottweiler was my furry fave for the night, working with backup dancers who wore canine masks and featured a rather sensuous and lithe female worth howling over. This was one fine bitch, and I’m not using the word in the pejorative sense!
The final pairing was even more surreal, with a contestant Tree dressed as a Xmas Tree performing High Hopes and defeating Ice Cream who sang Old Town Road. Ice Cream was unmasked as Tyler “Ninja” Bleving following a second chance “smackdown” defeat by Ladybug, who appropriately won singing Hit Me With Your Best Shot.
With two insect costumes and only one identifiable mammal, I was a little disappointed although an upcoming episode features a feline performer and one of personal interest called Mr. Fox, who appears to have steampunk stylings. Until we see their performances, I’m putting my paws up for Rottweiler…he’s such a good boy, even if he does remind me of Homer Simpson in an episode of The Simpsons where he voiced Poochie the dog…
Categories: anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, fantasy, furries, furry, television, twisted reality
Tags: Rottweiler on Masked Singer, Season 2, The Masked Singer
Comments: 3 Comments
August 18, 2019
(Advisory: some mature content)
AMC’s show Preacher is one of the most over-the-top shows on television, outrageous yet compelling, and definitely not for children, those easily offended, or squeamish about blood and violence. The series is complex and twisted, and so I won’t begin to attempt to explain it here; it even has Hitler and a likable vampire as recurring characters! At any rate, in the Deviant episode of the current season (Season 4, Episode 3), central character Jesse Custer enters DeSade’s House of Entertainment to rescue a child, and winds up fighting and prevailing against a small army within that included furries, people costumed as anthropomorphic animals.
The fight scene was extended, epic, and spectacular, beginning with fists and progressing from there to blunt objects, then knives, and finally guns. Preacher Jesse was victorious, of course, because it is after all, his show! I’m not quite comfortable with the portrayal of furries on the episode and I’ve seen far better fursuits, but it was all intended to be outrageous in keeping with the general tone of the series, which has previously given us the divinity in a Dalmatian suit…
Categories: anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, fantasy, furries, strange, television, twisted reality
Tags: Preacher "Deviant" episode
Comments: 4 Comments
July 10, 2019
The iconic KFC founder and spokesman Colonel Sanders has enjoyed a lively if bizarre post-mortem career, melding into Robocop, being portrayed by Reba McEntire, and even tripping the light fantastic with Mrs.Butterworth. Now the Colonel has morphed once again to be portrayed by Chester Cheetah, retaining the original’s trademark white suit, beard, and tie. Frankly, this spokes-cat wears the garb well!
And so it comes to pass that Cheetos mascot Chester Cheetah becomes Colonel Chester to mark the launch of a new Cheetos Sandwich, even skateboarding in his commercial outing. The popular anthropomorphic mascot is but the latest in a kind of rotating spokesperson concept for the franchise. Time will tell if he continues to be “dangerously cheesy…“
Categories: absurdities, advertising, animal spokepersons, animals, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, commercials, fantasy, furry, furry commercials, twisted reality
Tags: KFC's Colonel Chester
Comments: 9 Comments
April 22, 2019
Watching a commercial of the Chantix turkey camping, I wonder if the vest that he’s wearing is goose down filled, and if so whether the wearing of it isn’t some kind of crime against birds in general. Don’t get me wrong, he does look good in it, kind of like an avian Eddie Bauer. One almost expects to see Elmer Fudd emerge from those woods in the background in his ludicrous hunting outfit, toting a long gun and announcing, “I’m hunting wabbit…but you’ll do!” Then in my crossover fantasy, previous Chantix spokesman Ray Liotta emerges from those same woods, engaging Elmer in a firefight since one corporate spokesman might reasonably be expected to defend another. Ray would easily win the fight, having played tough guys in Mafia-inspired films. Elmer is hardly known as being a marksman…
Other questions lurk, too…since the Chantix turkey represents the slow turkey approach to smoking cessation, might we someday expect to see his cousin, cold turkey? That bird might be imagined as being cold to the point of chattering, and to have really jittery nerves. As we view the Chantix turkey hiking in the woods, we’re sorry that he’s mute. Perhaps in the future he could be given a voice, even singing the Happy Wanderer song as he hikes. With just a little refinement, this turkey could really take off. He even cooks over a campfire, and I’d toast marshmallows with him..we’re all forest friends here!
Categories: absurdities, advertising, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, commercials, fantasy, feathered friends, furry, furry commercials
Tags: Chantix turkey camping
Comments: 9 Comments
April 12, 2019
Human-sized anthropomorphic cats can be a wonderful fantasy or a chilling nightmare, depending on the individual’s perspective. Arm and Hammer Cloud Control cat litter brings us one such feline family in a brief recent commercial, with Mama cat relating how in her house things would get out of control fast, especially in the litter room. So she uses Arm and Hammer Cloud Control litter to be in control of the “cloud of nasties” that otherwise might be a problem around a cat litter box. No one wants their bathroom to stink, after all…
The dressed, human-sized cats are both whimsical and surreal, and would probably be an improvement over some neighbors that I’ve had…
Categories: absurdities, advertising, animals, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, fantasy, furry, furry commercials, television
Tags: Arm and Hammer Cloud Control cats
Comments: 3 Comments
March 29, 2019
I had thought that last November’s KFC commercial featuring a Colonel Sanders impersonator dancing with a human-sized bottle of Mrs. Butterworth syrup was a once-and-done thing, but in a companion piece commercial airing currently, the Colonel is back, complete with a misty, bedroom-eyes type expression as he meets Mrs. Butterworth in a marble hallway while a Celine Dion ballad plays. I know that they say “the South shall rise again,” but this is ridiculous!
Mrs. Butterworth appears to make the first move as the impossible couple stare into each other’s faces and the Colonel caresses her molded plastic cheek, probably thinking of all the syrupy goodness contained within…then the couple lean towards one another as a preliminary to a kiss which thankfully, we don’t get to see!
I don’t know what will happen next, and frankly prefer not to go there. Some things are best left to the imagination, and I cringe to think of a Sanders/Butterworth union. Perhaps in the aftermath, however, a horror writer could pen an installment called Children of the Syrup. It would not be suitable for children or sensitive individuals, and viewer discretion is advised…
Categories: absurdities, advertising, bizarre, Brilliant but twisted, commercials, fantasy, humor, television, twisted reality
Tags: Colonel Sanders and Mrs.Butterworth, The Most Delicious Union
Comments: 8 Comments
March 26, 2019
In a hokey but charmingly surreal commercial, Johnsonville Jeff is eating his breakfast sausage out in the deep woods when he is approached by a talking raccoon asking about his meal. In the shorter version of the ad, Jeff also interacts with a wolf and a turkey, whereas the longer version additionally adds a squirrel and a porcupine. Most notably the wolf asks the man in the longer version where he learned how to talk to animals. “Books,” replies Jeff in a deadpan fashion, as if there was really nothing remarkable about the encounter; he’s kind of like Dr. Doolittle in hunting garb. They all have a good laugh together at the end, with the wild turkey practically loosing control of himself…
Johnsonville Sausage incorporates employee input in all phases of their operation, including this commercial which was conceived and is starred in by an actual long-term company employee. Since without the animal presence this commercial would consist of ho-hum talk about sausage, we’ll listen to anything if an animal presents it!
Categories: advertising, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, commercials, fantasy, furry, furry commercials, television, twisted reality
Tags: Johnsonville forest animals, Johnsonville Jeff and Forest Friends
Comments: 1 Comment
March 11, 2019
I have often walked past the lobster tank in my local supermarket, pitying the poor doomed creatures within and wishing that I could set them free, like some kind of crustacean messiah. In a recent Geico commercial, I can imagine one such liberated lobster enjoying his freedom, sitting in the corner of a hot tub, his claws spread wide as he enjoys the tub jets. There are also two newlywed humans in the far corner of the tub with him.
“I can’t believe it!,” says the guy as he looks at his phone. “That there’s a lobster in the tub with us?,” questions his new wife. It seems that the guy is more incredulous about how much they saved on car insurance with Geico, and how easy it was to do it. The mellow lobster, voiced by H. Michael Croner, asks if the couple is staying at the hotel, and congratulates them when he learns they’re newlyweds. Marriage is not for him, however, as he’s afraid of committment…he’s been boiled alive! The hotel chef appears at this point, looking for the lobster and causing him to duck underwater. We can understand when the lobster reappears, and proclaims that the chef is “the worst!” If you look carefully, the lobster appears to redden somewhat as the commercial progresses…
This cool crustacean can hang out in my bathtub anytime, and should the Lobster Liberation Army ever stage it’s move, I’m maintaining my innocence…
Categories: advertising, animal elements, anthropomorphic, aquatic, Brilliant but twisted, commercials, fantasy, Invertebrates, television
Tags: lobster hot tub party
Comments: 3 Comments
February 28, 2019
After nine episodes, The Masked Singer concluded its first season on February 27th, that episode clocking in at an inflated two hours. The first hour was a recap of the contestants previously unmasked and eliminated, leading down to the three finalists of Monster, Bee, and Peacock. My enthusiasm for the series dwindled when Rabbit (Joey Fatone) was eliminated in the semi-finals, which I think was caused by his later selection of materials, none of which generated the excitement of his first performance of “Livin’ La Vida Loca.” No one really wanted to hear Rabbit sing “My Girl” or perform a country number, although he reportedly remained in character even when on breaks during rehearsals, and I felt that he and Peacock best incorporated dance and stage presence into their performances. Perhaps these guys could continue to perform as their costumed characters; I’d go to a psychotic Rabbit concert!
I was rather surprised that Bee (Gladys Knight) came in third, with the Peacock (Donny Osmond) coming in second…this guy is an underrated performer! Monster (T-Pain) won the top honors with his soulful croonings, and seemed to be a sentimental favorite despite being nearly eliminated in an early round.
The series was weird stuff, but we are living in strange times for which the antidote may be this kind of freaky escapism…and by the way, The Masked Singer has been renewed for a second season, to begin at an unspecified date…
Categories: anthropomorphic, fantasy, furry, television, twisted reality
Tags: "Masked Singer" finale
Comments: 3 Comments
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