Archive for the ‘fantasy’ category

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“Feed The Pig” Chase Commercial…

July 6, 2024

I find the “Feed The Pig” PSA commercial creepy, surreal, and oddly disquieting in that it features a human-sized pig, the walking and riding embodiment of a piggy bank, going about with a gaping slot in his head! The pig’s eyes are disturbingly human, while his face is frozen, and plastic-looking.

There is something terribly wrong here! With the gash in his head, the commercial makes me wonder who did this to the pig?! Is there some kind of Dr. Mengele or Dr. Moreau who goes about performing brain surgery on porcine members of the furry fandom, or what? What is the purpose of this mutilation? This pig walks, but is he brain-damaged? For some insane reason, this pig appears happy, and is just going about his business…does the pig even know what’s been done to him, or is he too neurologically-damaged?!

In the commercial, a young man shopping receives a text message that his bank balance is low, spots the pig walking along, and then hastily pursues him through a variety of scenes, the pig at one point riding a motor scooter, riding on an escalator, and in another appearing on a subway. The chase continues through the food prep area of a fine dining facility, and through the restaurant itself. The young man is in hot and frantic pursuit, dodging traffic, and even vaulting over a yoga class in a park to the sound effect of the Bionic Man, Steve Austin, jumping…

Eventually, the guy catches up with the pig outside a residence, tackles him, and stuffs a currency bill into the slot on his head! They are surprisingly polite to one another. “Same time next week?,” asks the dude of the the pig. “Well of course!,” the pig obligingly replies…

Created by the American Institute of CPAs and the Advertising Council in in the U.S., the Feed The Pig series of commercials is designed to get young people saving. I get it…but it’s also nightmare fuel! (*shudders*)

Categories: absurdities, advertising, alternative realities, anthropomorphic, commercials, fantasy, furry, furry commercials, furry television, television
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Comments: 3 Comments

“There’s Something In The Barn“ on Netflix…

March 24, 2024

Yes, there’s something in the barn, and it’s not a moo-cow but rather a Norwegian barn elf in this black horror comedy that plays like the movie Gremlins run through National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation…

It seems that a rather annoying American millennial-type family has inherited a Norwegian farm estate where their distant relative died trying to expel or exterminate the barn elf, succeeding only in dying a fiery death. Oblivious to Norwegian traditions and mythology, the Griswold-type family tries to impose gaudy American holiday traditions on the estate in the process of converting it to a bed-and-breakfast type inn…

This serves to make the barn elf angry, as they are creatures that despise change, bright lights, noise, and modernism in general. Only the family’s pre-teen son Lucas understands this, solely believing in the entity, and forging an alliance with the being by giving it cookies. If you are nice to such an elf, they will do service to you such as remove snow and split and stack firewood. Offend an elf, however, and open warfare results, with the mythical beings being able to call in reinforcements of their fellows…

You wouldn’t like such elves when they are truly angry. They are tribal, not adverse to killing, and will use primitive and environmental weaponry. When they stumble into your liquor cabinet, they’ll indulge themselves, and throw raucous parties…

The Americans are guided in their struggles by an expert in Norwegian folklore, who chides them with such admonitions as “This isn’t America. We don’t go about shooting each other in the faces!” A sensible people, Norwegians prefer negotiation.

Cookies are also powerful negotiation chips, if used in a timely fashion. Proper respect for folkloric beings is always in order, too. So be nice to your barn elf, should you have one… 🦊

Categories: absurdities, alternative realities, anthropomorphic, fantasy, horror, humor, movies, Mythological
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Comments: 10 Comments

The Robotic Ghost Furries of “Five Nights At Freddy’s”

March 16, 2024

There is now a 2023 movie based on the popular video game, Five Nights At Freddy’s. For those who have been living in a cave, Freddy’s envisions a closed and decaying 1980’s kiddie pizza emporium much like Chuck E. Cheese’s where the animal-resembling members of the house robotic entertainment band continue unnaturally to lumber around, stalking and killing intruders on the premises…

Now I’ve seen one of these animal robot bands performing in Florida, and it was creepy, because budget-level animatronics do not approach Disney World standards, and the robotic animal performers don’t move fluidly. Because of this, cartoon-like animal robots make suitable fodder for horror movies, kind of like Jason or Freddy with creaky hydraulics…

I’m usually not a fan of video games turned into movies, but this one is not without its moments, probably because I am a damn furry, and likely wouldn’t mind spending my afterlife as Foxy, the robot pirate-fox. Just be kind to him, because he’s been knocking around since the 1980’s unattended and without proper maintenance. Foxy is the worse for the wear, much like I myself…

The robots, ‘ya see, are inhabited by the spirits of deceased children who mysteriously vanished. While they are murderous, their mayhem is not graphically rendered on screen, and one reviewer termed this an introduction to horror movies for the video game generation, “baby’s first horror movie.” There are some novel concepts here, even if the film itself is not especially scary. This probably would have been better suited for presentation on the SyFy channel instead of the big screen, but it did play well in theaters. Similar themes were developed in The Banana Splits Movie, which didn’t have a video game pedigree. But catch this one on Amazon Prime if you have it. It’s fun, but won’t haunt your dreams. It just can’t be taken seriously, but there’s nothing wrong with that, and robotic furries are a kick…

(Foxy’s looked better, but haven’t we all?! And I could definitely get into the Robo-pirate fox scene, yarr! Lower yer flag and stand by to be boarded by the scourge of the Seven Seas, Matey!) 🦊

See y’all at Freddy Fazbear’s…or maybe the funny papers!

*Laughs hysterically and is taken away by nice young men in clean white coats* 🤪

Categories: absurdities, alternative realities, anthropomorphic, biomechanical, Brilliant but twisted, fantasy, furries, furry, furry films, furry movies, horror, humor, Questionably creepy, twisted reality
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Comments: 6 Comments

Adam Sandler and the Space Spider of “Spaceman”

March 4, 2024

If you’re an arachnophobe, you’d better steer clear of Adam Sandler’s movie Spaceman on Netflix, because Sandler, as an astronaut in deep space, winds up sharing his spacecraft with an intelligent, human-sized creature that strongly resembles a gigantic spider, complete with multiple eyes and jointed appendages…

The movie isn’t a comedy, but might remind some of either an extremely good or bad acid trip, depending on your personal perspective. When Sandler gets over his initial shock and horror over the uninvited stowaway, he doesn’t reach for the can of Raid or Black Flag, finding instead that the arthropod is an explorer like himself who has studied Earth languages, and is more than capable of carrying on a thoughtful conversation…

The spidery alien assures Sandler that he doesn’t want to harm or consume him, and is adept at probing into Sandler’s mind where he finds that Sandler has what might be termed “relationship problems” with his wife on Earth. The empathetic “Spider-Man” has a soothing voice, is endlessly patient, and frankly appears to be a natural therapist who wants to help Sandler with his feelings, emotionality, and relationship. I swear that I am not making this up…

Sandler’s character, a Czech astronaut on a solitary mission to the purplish Chopra Cloud, is a morose and gloomy individual. The spider-alien, while repellent in appearance, becomes rather endearing, providing who he calls the “skinny human” with psychotherapy. The movie has an identity crisis, becoming an oddball psychological drama rather than traditional science fiction. As such, it may leave many viewers confused and unsatisfied, with an ambiguous, “write your own ending” resolution. The movie may change your opinion of spiders, however, terrestrial or otherwise. I just doubt that I’ll ever want to give one a big ole hug. This is high weirdness, indeed…

Categories: aliens, anthropomorphic, fantasy, furry, horror, sci fi, twisted reality
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Comments: 4 Comments

“Disenchantment;” the Middle Ages as Buddy Comedy

January 30, 2024

As Monty Python and the Holy Grail memorably showed us, the Middle Ages were not totally dead and dreary times, especially if approached with a sense of wry humor. Simpsons creator Matt Groening does exactly that in Disenchantment on Netflix, and the series works on many levels, especially if you like history, myth, and satire…

While too complex to adequately cover in a single blog post, the series concerns the life and exploits of a medieval princess, Tiabeanie (Bean for short), a teenaged hellion adept at gambling and barroom-style fighting who has modern sensitivities, and rebels against medieval conventions such as arranged royal marriages…

Seeking to chart her own way through life, Bean is accompanied by mythic medieval companions that mirror the duality of her own nature; an innocent, idealistic elf appropriately named Elfo, and a black demon straight from Hell called Luci (short for Lucifer)…

Luci is my standout favorite in the series, a 9,000-year-old demon as inky-black as the original Felix the Cat, and thought by most who encounter him to be a weird, talking cat. Yes, Luci is the furry character in the series, having horns, fangs, and a forked tail, who despite his denials often postures bodily and presents like a cat. Sent from Hell to guide the Princess towards chaos, indulgence, and destruction, Luci proclaims himself to be “the guy who makes you feel good about doing bad.” This is one cool, laid-back, savvy demon!

This cat-like demon evolves, however, taking a serious liking to Princess Bean, becoming a loyal companion, fighting against her foes, and eventually dying for her…a sacrifice so noble that Luci appears before God in heaven, earning the status of ascended demon, a kind of reverse Lucifer, if you will…a bad guy who becomes good!

So catch Disenchantment on Netflix, if only to visit this fantastic, drinking, smoking, drug-ingesting cat-like thing that I’d be pleased to have in my corner, anytime! Bad boys, of course, can make you feel so good! 🦊

Categories: alternative realities, Brilliant but twisted, cartoons, fantasy, furry, humor, Mythological, television, twisted reality
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Comments: 3 Comments

Sympathy for The Grinch…

December 16, 2023

Please allow me to introduce myself, I’m the Grinch…of Mt. Crumpit!” – -(to the tune of, “Sympathy for the Devil,” by The Rolling Stones)

At this time of year, my thoughts turn naturally to The Grinch. He was, after all, a furry, and like many of us, misunderstood and much-maligned. Max was a furry too, an anthropomorphic dog, loyal and obedient to his master, even if the Ego to the Grinch’s Id. Max I suspect actually liked Xmas, and probably would have affectionately licked any Whos that he came across…

Now, can you imagine being visibly different as a child, then banished to lonely exile on the foreboding heights of Mt. Crumpit? As Kermit the Frog memorably lamented, “It’s not easy being green!”

Is there not, I say, a little bit of the pre-redemptive Grinch in all of us? Who of us has not had dark thoughts after being exposed to Xmas carols and commercials since Halloween? I mean, how many times can you suffer hearing “I Want A Hippopotamus for Xmas” before you utterly lose it?! 🙀

And let’s face it, The Whos were annoying in their relentless cheerfulness. They represented the overkill aspects of Xmas, and holding us all up to an impossible celebratory standard. Clearly, they needed taken down a few pegs, an infusion of Grinchiness…

Even pre-redemptively, The Grinch had some remarkable qualities. He was a survivor, a strong if solitary spirit who was a master strategist and a genius inventor with many skills, kind of the Wile E. Coyote of Xmas characters. His Road Runner was the Xmas overkill that is everywhere at this time of year. I submit to you that The Grinch was a cultural warrior, a tragic hero who only wanted peace and sanity, and perhaps a little Who Hash…

So respect and honor The Grinch, who meant well but whose reach exceeded his grasp. I shall celebrate The Mean One in my heart always, and save him a generous slice of roast beast…🦊

Categories: absurdities, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, famous furries, fantasy, furry, movies, seasonal, television
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Comments: 3 Comments

The Halloween Spirit Off-Season…

November 4, 2023

When you’re a Halloween spirit shocked and overwhelmed by the cloying intrusion of Xmas well-ahead of time, it ain’t easy. I mean, I turned on my car radio on Halloween to find Frosty the Snowman playing…true story! This is why Halloween-spirited foxes are tempted to attack Xmas-playlist radio stations airing in October with chainsaws. It would only be poetic Justice, after all…

Now I’m already mourning the end of spooky season, but the Xmas people were already stepping all over me in late October. If Xmas feels that it deserves to be a two-month holiday, can’t we Halloween folks demand the same? Equal rights, eh Xmas? It’s only fair, after all…

Now Thanksgiving is perhaps the last chance to slow if not stop the Xmas juggernaut, but I don’t have much hope for that, as Thanksgiving icons are basically turkeys. Thanksgiving seems to be basically about grossly overeating, then unbuttoning the pants to fall asleep while watching football, at least in the minds of many…

Christmas just doesn’t listen. Never has, never will. It’s the Godzilla of holidays, fueled by commercialism and profit, and when money talks, business listens…

This doesn’t mean, however, that we can’t at least fight the good fight…and when people wish me “Happy Holidays,” I will urge them to remember Halloween! 🦊🦇🎃

Categories: fantasy, furry, humor, twisted reality
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Comments: 3 Comments

Halloween Reflections…

October 31, 2023

Unto you, good readers, I show my inner self. Halloween’s here, a time that I relish more than Xmas. Let us rejoice and be glad in it with a few things that may help you get into the spirit of the season, one that is all too brief but precious in its brevity…

From Michael Jackson’s Halloween Special of several years ago (2017) we bring you Jim Parsons (best known as Sheldon Cooper) voicing Hay Man, and channeling the dance moves of Michael Jackson, complete with a back-up cast of animals that include foxes! What could be more appropriate than some foxes bustin’ some serious moves, because we’re feral, ‘ya see…because we’re bad…because we’re dangerous!

Yes, I’m an unabashed Halloween freak! I adore it, and resist all pressures to “outgrow” the holiday. One does not “outgrow” Halloween…it grows on you, and within you.- -Xmas spirit?- -I nurture the spirit of Halloween! I think that my enjoyment of horror gives me my dosage of Halloween year-round. It’s like a nutritional requirement for me, really…

We animal-spirits are a natural for Halloween, too. We can all draw inspiration from cats. Mine are daily trying to become more human, while I’m trying to become more like them. Perhaps we could meet in the middle…

Yes, Halloween has some dark elements, but it’s also a celebration, a kind of restorative reaching within yourself to validate and liberate what might be there. We need to kick back a bit against the bonds of civilization. This can be a cathartic experience, which ties in nicely with the furry fandom, which is communal but also intensely individual. We are never more free than when we embrace our inner animal…

So enjoy your Halloween, and carry a bit of it in your heart all-year round. I know that I do… 🦊

Categories: absurdities, alternative realities, animal elements, anthropomorphic, fantasy, furry, furry television, horror
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Comments: 5 Comments

Return of…the Gorn!

August 14, 2023

It was back in the 1960’s that we first encountered the Gorn in the Arena episode of Star Trek: The Original Series. Who can forget William Shatner as James T. Kirk grappling with a hulking rubbery-suited reptilian creature intent upon killing him? Great stuff then, and a comic delight now!

The Gorn also appeared to fight with Captain Archer in the under-rated series Enterprise; he shot one multiple times, presumably to ensure that it was dead. Guess who won’t be joining The Federation any time soon? So it’s good to see the mean keen green guys revised, revamped, and updated for modern times, for the Gorn are classic Trek“ heavies…”

Unlike Kirk, the young Spock that we see in Strange New Worlds did not spare the life of an offending Gorn, but in all fairness it was either the Gorn or Spock and company who were going to be offed. Yes, the Spock of Strange New Worlds can go medieval when the situation calls for it…whoever would have thought?!

The Gorn have been reimagined, too, into a faster, far more nimble and ambulatory species reminiscent of the aliens which plagued Sigourney Weaver’s Ripley. They even implant human hosts! Captain Pike, he of the uplifting hair, considers them “monsters.”

With the season cliffhanger ending with intelligent, space-faring reptilians descending on an outnumbered Enterprise, Captain Pike will have to pull something out of his hair to defeat the lizard horde.- – What a pity we have to wait to see Part 2!

(Command hair; not everyone has it!)

Categories: aliens, fantasy, reptiles, television
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Comments: 11 Comments

Ultra-realistic Collie Fursuit…

July 25, 2023

Like many furries, I have a cheap fursuit, plus a full wearable head and a mask. They are all in shall I say the economy range, as that’s my budget. But what might be possible if you chose and could afford to throw over $15,000 into the creation of a stunningly realistic and detailed fursuit? The awesome results may be seen above…yes, that’s a suit, with a dude inside it!

The gentleman, identified only as Toko or in some locations Toco, chose to transform into a collie because of its size, the fact that it was his favorite dog, and also because he felt that a collie’s long hair would help to hide his human form. He hired the Japanese company Zeppet, known for creating sculptures and models for movies and commercials, to craft the suit. Creation of it took 40 days as numerous fittings and adjustments were made to get the best look and fit…

Now Toko-san as one might expect is somewhat limited in his movements while within the suit, and cannot move all of his limbs freely or excessively. But he is living the dream that he has had since childhood, and who are we to deny him that? The results are uncanny…

Categories: anthropomorphic, cool things, fantasy, furry, fursuits
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Comments: 8 Comments

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