Archive for the ‘anomalies’ category

Bigfoot of Lee County: Raven Mocker, Parts I and II

March 16, 2016

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Once again, we are off to the Bigfoot races on the S4/Ep08 installment of Mountain Monsters, the Raven Mocker. First seen by Cherokees in the early 1700’s, this Bigfoot variant is described as standing 7′ tall, weighing 500 lbs., and having black fur with all-white eyes. Where it gets freaky is that this Bigfoot is a kind of shape-shifter that can enter the soul of a raven, seeing from the aerial perspective of that bird, like the warg or “skin shifter” on Game of Thrones. Furthermore, they could change into any animal. Before a kill, the Raven Mocker is said to call out like a raven. They are said to consume the hearts of men. — Creepy, huh?

Well, our “hard-core hunters and trackers” first interviewed “Mike,” an outdoorsman who reported seeing a wrenched-off deer’ s head hanging in a tree. In the same vicinity, he reported seeing 16″ footprints, plus smaller ones apparently those of a human female! This raised the unanswered questions of whether the Bigfoot shape- shifted to a human female (a really bad date), or traveled with a human female who had a thing for big, hairy guys.

During their first night’s hunt, the team saw a tree structure, heard humming and then an “evil laugh,” perceived something running, and saw a number of humanoid-shaped stick constructions hanging.  The next day, they found raven prints, and when team member “Buck” made a raven call, tree knocks were heard in apparent response.  A bow hunter named “Scott” was interviewed who reported seeing a dead buck with a broken neck.  He produced a photo showing a blurry dark object against a dark background.  During the daylight hours, “Willy” with the assistance of “Wild Bill” had constructed a “steel cage raven wing trap” which was baited with deer meat.

During their final night’s hunt, the team followed their familiar tactic of dividing into two groups with the hopes of driving their quarry from different directions towards their trap.  One group found broken tree limbs and apparent wear to logs.  Things became freaky and the usual confusion ensued when team member “Huckleberry” claimed to feel the touch of hands on his back, and heard “Buck’s” voice imitated; the Mocker mocking, I presume.  A nasty foot trap was encountered in the ground, together with a deer head lodged in a tree, and a constructed structure on the side of that tree.  Team member “Jeff” claimed that he saw a face in front of him, with a ball of fire coming out of its mouth.  This was supposedly captured on a thermal camera image, which was again less than revealing…

Contending that they had found something that was “not human” and “supernatural,” the Raven Mocker saga was continued in another episode airing two weeks after the first.  Seeking guidance from recovering team leader “Trapper,” the team was admonished to go back to their “Native American roots,” and seek answers from where there was physical evidence of the Raven Mocker.  Returning to the woods in Lee County, Virginia at night, the team encountered again the “burning man” style tree structures, as well as footprints in the mud that were smaller and appeared to be those of a woman.  They heard mocking-type laughter, and then team member “Huckleberry” was brought down by a grapevine-type snare trap.

The following day, the team met with local researcher “Jeff,” who told them tales of the “Woman in the Woods,” an old barefooted woman who wears a cloak, and is supposedly followed by death.  They were advised to confront her in a Native American way.  As a lure, the team decided to take from the woman some of her possessions, and they rounded up some of the tree structure figures.  After gaining possession of these, a handprint was found on “Willy’s” arm, meaning that he, like “Jeff” and “Huckleberry” who had earlier been touched, had presumably been marked for death by the “Woman in the Woods.”

Well, the team then constructed several Native American styled huts, protecting them with sage and accessories like dream catchers, snake skins, and turtle shells. They put on “warrior faces and battle uniforms,” which meant quasi-Native American garb and rather badly applied “war paint.”  The men marked for death assumed places in separate huts and performed protective ceremonies, after which time a Bigfoot roar was heard together with tree knocks.  “Jeff” the team researcher seemed to be targeted, with his dream catcher jerked and the roof of his hut brought down upon him.  In a daze he was led off by someone in a cloak, and found by the pursuing team members at the base of a tree, bloodied and freaking out.  Following a bit of a hysterical reaction, “Jeff” related that the “Old Woman of the Woods” had shown him how and when he was going to die, and then told him that he was free.  This presumably got the rest of the marked men off the hook, and his associates seemed to feel that “Jeff” had taken one for the team. – – Are you not entertained?

Perhaps more merriment and mystery will follow in the next episode, when we are promised the Phantom of the Woods…

Bigfoot of Wirt County; The Ash Man

March 8, 2016

  

The Bigfoot Edition of Mountain Monsters continued on Ep07 of S4 with the Ash Man, a 600 lb. Bigfoot who stands about 7′ tall, is 3′ wide at the shoulders, and has blackish gray fur.  The creature was first described in the 1700’s by the Shawnee Indians, with the label Ash Man attached as the Native Americans described him as seen through the smoke and ashes of their cooking fires.  Team member Huckleberry had an encounter with the creature 46 years ago in 1969, and felt himself shaken and scarred by the encounter and its aftermath.

The team went to Wirt County, West Virginia, conducting the investigation and hunt on Huckleberry’s lands and farm.  During their first night’s investigation, the team found a nesting area and multiple piles of stacked rocks, a Bigfoot sign.  Huckleberry felt shaken by such discoveries, and couldn’t continue further at that time.  The following day, Huckleberry and Jeff were out in the woods when a small log was thrown at them, and they found a footprint and handprint, presumably those of the creature.  Rob, a hiker, was interviewed, reporting an encounter with a 7′ tall creature with black hair.  The eyewitness produced a picture showing something large and blackish seen through trees.

Meanwhile, trap maker Willy and “Wild Bill” had constructed a rather large “wooden fortress” trap.  That night, bacon was cooked as bait, with “Wild Bill” serving as cook for the affair, complete with a ludicrous chef’s hat that he managed to catch on fire during the proceedings yet wore the remnants of during the following hunt.  The team split into two groups at that time to flush the Ash Man out, and Huckleberry’s group found itself the recipients of large branches and rocks thrown from above in their general direction.  While dashing through the woods in pursuit, “Wild Bill” managed to get himself knocked to the ground by a blow from a tree limb.  “Do I still have all my teeth?,” he asked.  “Yep, they’re both still there,” quipped a team mate.   Via radio they called for reinforcements from Willy’s group, and the usual yelling, waving of guns, bad camera angles, and wild ATV ride followed as the creature was flushed in the direction of the trap.

Arriving back at the trap, the team found that the Bigfoot had apparently been caged only temporarily, with a large hole torn through the 14″ logs of its construction.  “We shook him up,” proclaimed Huckleberry.  One might say, however, that their plans to catch the Ash Man had gone up in smoke…

The Great Fire Ape…

March 1, 2016

  

The Bigfoot Edition of Mountain Monsters on The Discovery Channel continued with the AIMS team minus recovering leader Trapper heading to Pendleton County, West Virginia is search of the Fire Ape, an 8-1/2 foot tall, 700 pound Bigfoot variant with reddish fur first spotted over 200 years ago by Native Americans.  This creature is drawn and enraged by fire, with mythology maintaining that humans originally stole fire from the beast.

The team first interviewed Jerry, a landowner and eyewitness who set off fireworks.  Following that, his dog took off after something, and the man spotted a reddish thing that was apparently the cause of the dog’s attention.  On their first night’s investigation, the team observed a mashed down “ambush spot” in the weeds, and heard something on the river bank which they pursued, resulting only in Buck falling into the creek.  

The reported events of the following day commenced with observations of Wild Bill’s self-training activities, which included running madly around cones.  “I don’t know if he’s training, or going insane,” commented another team member.  A catapult snare trap was then constructed by Willie and Wild Bill while the rest of the team returned in the daylight to the creek, seeing wild daisies move and hearing grunts.  They interviewed Mark, an outdoorsman who reported having lit a fire by his cabin, thereafter hearing a commotion and supposedly seeing the creature entranced by the flames in his fire ring.  He later found an 18″ footprint of which he had a picture.  Reuniting, the team then tested their trap using Archie, a burlap Bigfoot they had made.

On their final night’s hunt, the team then lit torches to draw the Fire Ape, and set up a fireworks station to further lure him.  They found crossed trees, a usual Bigfoot sign, and were knocking on trees to draw a response.  It was then that the episode’s producer appeared, all in a dither, to report that the sound man, Pablo, had vanished! Investigating, the team found the sound guy’s mic cover and sound boom, but where in the world was Pablo?  They decided to light up their fireworks to distract the Fire Ape, thereby allowing the presumed apprehended Pablo to escape.  Team members thought that they heard Pablo yelling in the distance, after which time they also felt they had heard the Bigfoot yell.  

Eventually Pablo came stumbling out of the woods, muddied and shook up.  His contention was that he had been blindsided and knocked down by the Bigfoot while following the group in the rear and wearing headphones that apparently muffled the sound of the creature’s approach.  Needless to say, the Fire Ape escaped without even a photographic image being recorded.  Pablo, apparently, was none the worse for the wear, but wished that he was back in South America…

“Scariest Moments” on Mountain Monsters

February 24, 2016

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I, for one, am generally not keen on “Greatest Hits” episodes of any series as they are usually thinly veiled efforts to repackage old material and stretch out a season.  The “Scariest Moments” installment of Mountain Monsters (S4/Ep05) was no different, being essentially a brief synopsis of six different and unrelated previous episodes.  I’m not going to comment on the episodes as I have previously posted on many of them.  For the sake of reference, however, the episodes covered were on the Hellhound, the Cherokee Death Cat, the Cave Creature, the Bear Beast, the Shadow Creature, and Hogzilla.

The summaries provided by these episodes may be helpful to viewers trying to get a brief feeling for the creature involved, or a general sense of what the show itself is about.  It can be striking how similar the episodes really are, both in terms of the methods involved, the flow of the action, and the outcomes.  In only one of the six episodes profiled was the creature being pursued actually captured, that one, Hogzilla, turning out to be a rather large but perfectly ordinary pig.  

The scariest incident I can remember in the time period covered involved team leader Trapper using self-dentistry to extract an aching tooth using pliers!  The series will return to new episodes this upcoming weekend with one called, the Great Fire Ape.  It will probably be at best a mediocre ape, but one that makes a monkey of them all…

…and by the way, the theme song for this show is called Mountain Man Town  by the Last American Cowboys…  

Puppy Monkey Baby…

February 21, 2016

Some things nature never intended, and even the mad Dr. Moreau created by H.G. Wells would have shied away from.  The PuppyMonkeyBaby created by Mountain Dew and first airing on Super Bowl 50 is one such thing…

…a CGI mishmash creation, the bizarre/disturbing/hilarious creature melds the head of a pug dog with the body and tail of a monkey and the lower extremities of a human infant.  In the commercial, it enters with the advertised product, dances into the presence of three guys watching television, licks the face of one of them, and dances off again, all the while repeating its own name.  This is to promote Mountain Dew’s Jumpstart, a mix of the drink, juice, and caffeine.

People tend to either love or hate PuppyMonkeyBaby, which may cross the line between cute and horrifying. Perhaps it could be worked into an episode of the X-Files or Mountain Monsters (they probably couldn’t catch it). In the current American presidential election year, the strange and the outrageous have become rather commonplace,however…

Bigfoot of Central Kentucky: Squalling Savage

February 3, 2016

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At the end of the previous episode of Mountain Monsters, the youngest member of the AIMS team, Buck, had relayed during the credits that something was wrong with team leader Trapper, who had been taken to the hospital for an unspecified but serious ailment.  At the beginning of this episode, the five remaining team members visited Trapper at home, where it was disclosed that he had suffered a blood clot in his leg, and underwent emergency surgery.  We actually got to see Trapper for the first time without his hat, revealing his balding head.  Trapper also revealed that at their previous Kentucky encampment in pursuit of the Midnight Whistler (not to be confused with the Midnight Rambler, a great Rolling Stones song) , he had taken a sample of reddish hair and procured a large footprint impression too large to have belonged to that smaller Bigfoot type.  

The Bigfoot variant who was the subject of S4/Ep02 was called the Squalling Savage (- -poetry, eh?), and was felt to stand about 8-1/2 feet tall, weigh 600 – 800 lbs., and be capable of climbing trees.  His type was first sighted in the 1600’s by Native Americans.  The Midnight Whistler and Squalling Savage Bigfoot subtypes were essentially felt to occupy the same environment of central Kentucky, competing for dominance there.  While in pursuit of the Midnight Whistler in an earlier episode, team members had heard the growling of the Savage, which was atypical for the Whistler.  

Prior to their first night’s hunt, the five team members met with Steve, a trail guide contracted by Trapper to guide the men close to the site of their previous encounter.  While the guide was reluctant to go fully to the exact location, by his directions the team was able to proceed, and found that first night a previously-seen nest of the Midnight Whister in addition to hearing the growls of the newly sought Squalling Savage.  The next day, team members Willy and “Wild Bill” built an elevated tree trap into which they planned to lure the Savage by mimicking the sounds of his rival, the Whistler.  A second meeting with their somewhat reluctant trail guide Steve brought his admission that he and a friend had a previous encounter with the Savage while hunting, and a cell phone video was produced revealing an intrusion by some kind of large growling thing, with a whistle having been used to lure it that proved unexpectedly effective.

On their final night’s hunt, Buck in an off-road vehicle was to initially flush the Squalling Savage out, passing him then into a relay where other members further along the route would further lure the Bigfoot with whistles, finding sanctuary in “spider hole” covered excavations while the Bigfoot passed safely by them. – – Well, the best laid plans of mice and men, as Bobby Burns would say, can come to naught.  A tree was thrown at Buck’s vehicle, a second tree later blocked his path, and Huckleberry’s spider hole cover was rudely torn off by the crafty cryptid, causing said monster hunter to beat a hasty retreat.  Willy abandoned his post at the trap to support his companion, and it was pretty much of a route by then.  As usual, no Bigfoot was trapped…but Huckleberry did relate that the Bigfoot he briefly sighted was of yet a third type from either the Whistler or Savage varieties.  

That’s right, three apparent Bigfoot species for the price of one, all in central Kentucky!  The five AIMS members who had worked this outing conceded that they had been a little rusty without their leader, but resolved to get back on the case, and hunt another one…hunting and actually catching one being entirely different things!

Mulder Returns!

January 25, 2016

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I was a big X-Files fan in the 1990’s, and somewhere I still have an action figurine of David Duchovny as Fox Mulder, one of my few heroes…and so almost nothing could be better for me than when I learned that half a dozen new episodes of the show were being made, complete with many members of the original cast!  The previews looked promising and true to the spirit of the original show.  I was more than ready for this; it was the Holy Grail of paranormal television.

So primed and ready, I tuned to FOX at the listed time expecting to see Fox,  and got…a football post-game show!  It was a cruel thing to see jocks celebrating themselves when you’ve gone so many years without a Mulder fix.  No doubt this was some kind of government conspiracy.  Fortunately the DVR and “On Demand” gods were there, and I was able to watch the whole glorious episode later.

The first episode was heavy on exposition and the series mythology, beginning with Mulder’s cerebral, analytical monotone voice and flashing back to the seminal Roswell UFO incident, with the crash gloriously depicted.  Since the series last ended, Mulder has been living a low profile life while his partner, Dana Scully (Gillian Anderson) has been aiding in the surgical creation of ears for earless children.  The duo is reunited by a wealthy arch conservative talk show conspiracy adherent (Tad O’Malley), and Mulder appears to have mastered the scruffy cool look to perfection.  From there, things get twisted and complicated, with alien technologies, genetic manipulations, and unspeakable dark conspiracies thrown into the mix.

Some episodes after the second will focus less on the confusing and mysterious X-Files mythology, with some stand-alone episodes presented that will follow the popular “Monster of the Week” format during which the series was at its most enjoyable.  We will apparently, however, be getting visits from such iconic series figures as the Cigarette Smoking Man and The Lone Gunmen, who had a brief unsuccessful spin-off show of their own once upon a time.

All in all, the limited revival series is worthy, and makes us want to put on suits, grab large flashlights, and follow conspiracies and monsters wherever they may lead, for The Truth is Out There…

Geico “Peter Pan” Commercial…

November 23, 2015

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By almost anyone’s standard, Peter Pan was rather a strange little dude.  His was a case of arrested development in that he was perpetually a fresh-faced boy who never aged beyond later childhood.  He hung out with a fairy called “Tinkerbelle,” was leader of a group of “lost boys,” and even boasted powers of flight.  As if that didn’t appear to violate laws of man and nature, Peter Pan’s mortal enemy was a pirate captain whose one hand had been lost to a crocodile and replaced with a hook.

You can imagine that the appearance of such a sprite at a reunion of the Class of 1965 would be likely to prove interesting, and a study in contrasts.  So it does in a recent Geico commercial where the forever young Peter Pan tells his classmates that they don’t look a day over 70, and hovers above the gathering, providing entertainment by singing the Sinatra standard, “You Make Me Feel So Young.”

What would make the commercial complete would be if the iconic Progressive insurance agent “Flo” appeared in the role of “Wendy,” the young mother-surrogate to Peter and the “Lost Boys.”  That would make the surreal commercial become even stranger fast as she tried to nag Peter to return to “Neverland,” perhaps appearing as “Tinkerbelle” as well…

“Jersey Devil” Sighting!

October 12, 2015

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The Jersey Devil is perhaps one of the strangest cryptic creatures commonly talked about, and one with a rich backstory.  Said to be the unwanted and accursed child of a witch who lived in the 1700’s, Mother Leeds, the creature is described as having hooves, a goat’s or horse’s head, bat wings, and a forked tail.  A Little Egg Harbor Township resident, Dave Black, recently snapped a picture of an unidentified life form while driving on Route 9 in Galloway, New Jersey.

Originally the observer thought that he was seeing a llama until the creature “spread out leathery wings and flew over the golf course.”  The observer took a picture, and describes what he saw as being a “large, flying mammal about the size of a deer.”  The photo appears to show something with dark brown fur, wings on its back, and cloven feet.  A video taken by a woman named Emily at about the same time also reportedly shows a reddish animal with a long neck and horns…delightful fare for this Halloween season!

Geico Water Hazard Monster!

September 3, 2015

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Golf tends not to be especially thrilling as a spectator sport, but it could be enlivened considerably by making the water hazards truly hazardous, say by putting a Kraken into the water!  Golfer Bill in a recent Geico commercial is having a truly bad round when an enormous tentacle whips out of the water and ensnares him, the golfer flailing helplessly against its iron grip.

The sportscasters in the face of this spectacle are unflappable, commenting in whispered tones about how the golfer’s five iron may not be enough club to handle this situation; he’s gonna lose a stroke on this one!  More of the Kraken then becomes  visible for inspection, and it is truly a beast of Lovecraftian proportions; now this is a sporting event!  Still nonplussed, the sportscasters continue to comment in whispered tones; it’s what they do

I’d pull up a chair and pay to see golf matches like this!  With quicksand, scorpions, and rattlesnakes, perhaps we could also lend new meaning to tired old golf course “sand traps.”- – Now that’s entertainment!