Archive for the ‘animals’ category

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Scorpion on a Plane!

July 4, 2011

 – – It sounds like a sequel to the forgettable action flick Snakes on a Plane, but the scorpion on a plane was all too real, and it stung a Portland-area man flying from Seattle to Anchorage during a June 17th Alaska Airlines flight.

The male victim felt something crawling inside one of his sleeves while trying to sleep on the flight, and thought it was a small bug.  When it turned out to be a scorpion, the man at least had some fun out of the experience by gathering the arachnid up in a napkin, and showing it to his girlfriend!  Predictably, she freaked.   By this time, the man’s elbow was burning from the sting, and two doctors on board checked the guy out while the flight crew called for medics to meet the plane at the airport in Anchorage.  The girlfriend kept her feet on the seat for the rest of the flight, refusing to put them on the floor.

The arachnid is felt to have been a striped bark scorpion common to Texas where the flight originated.  An Alaska Airlines spokesperson said the airline has never had a poisonous creature like the scorpion on one of their flights before.

Politicians, lawyers, and my ex-supervisors apparently have never flown Alaska Airlines…

Categories: animal behavior, animal occurrences, animals, Invertebrates, strange happenings
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Comments: 1 Comment

“Gladiator” Fights Lion; Not Worth Lion’s Time…

July 1, 2011

 – – With the World Animal Bothering Belt on the line, a self-proclaimed Egyptian “gladiator” stepped into a steel cage set in a wheat field in Mansoura, Egypt with a reportedly 660-lb. (?) lion in order to attract foreign visitors to Egypt and lift his country out of its post-revolution downturn. 

As the “gladiator” glared and bared his teeth, the lion, which had been fed an entire donkey before the event, is reported to have looked bored.   The event lasted 17 minutes, with spectators said to have been disappointed and to have regarded the feat as a publicity stunt.

One can only imagine what thoughts were running through the lion’s head about the human warrior, who carried a “shield” made of an old satellite dish (“You are so lame, pink skin!”).  The Egyptian Tourism Minister commendably blasted the spectacle as an inhumane act against animals…

For his next exhibition, perhaps the warrior will take on a narcoleptic camel, an agoraphobic scorpion, or even a rather large jellyfish in a bucket of water!–Hey, reality TV should be this good!

Categories: absurdities, animals, deplorable practices, just plain stupid, strange happenings, weird
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The Chicken or The Egg?

June 29, 2011

– – Worldly philosophers have debated this one for eons:  Which came first, the chicken, or the egg?   In this short commercial for DirecTV, we see a chicken voiced by John Goodman answer his door to behold…an egg distinguishable only by eyeglassses!   Well, the egg (voiced by Steve Buscemi) winds up on the chicken’s couch in a homey-looking room where they debate the chicken vs. egg issue while promoting DirecTV.  The chicken gets the last word in…

Categories: absurdities, animals, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, furry commercials, television
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The Keyboard Cat!

June 19, 2011

 – – Cats on keyboards are nothing new with the original video coming from the early 1980’s, but this incarnation of Keyboard Cat, also known as Pistachio Cat, is awfully cute!  Wearing an oversized lime green T-shirt and playing a bouncy little number on the keyboard while promoting pistachio consumption, this cat is likely to win your heart.- -So what if the cat appears mad at times and is being controlled by human hands hidden under the baggy shirt?- -It’s no wonder that as it was sung in The Aristocats, “everybody wants to be a cat!”


By the way, the current Keyboard Cat’s name is Bento, and he is the creation of Charlie Schmidt…

Categories: animals, Brilliant but twisted, furry, furry commercials, humor, television
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– -These Rats ROCK!!!

June 15, 2011

 – – Remember the giant talking ants in earlier Orkin commercials?- -Well, no rat finks these, the latest Orkin commercial features a duo of really rad anthropoid rats playing hot licks on guitars in the living room of a nice suburban home that the family of four in residence comes home to unexpectedly.–Alright, the rats are a bit on the scruffy side and they’ve made a little mess on the floor, but damn, these rodents ROCK!!!- -Think Stephen King meets Jimi Henrix!

The one rat looks positively evil when he chides the family for coming home early, but hey, did you want Justin Bieber?- -These rats have got what it takes, and they know how to use it!  They even offer the boy in the family a gig playing drums for them!- –Take it, you fools, don’t you know a gift when you see it?! – –I’ll play drums for them if the kid doesn’t want it, we’d RULE!!!  (I can see it now…Foxy and the Vermin, Live In Concert!)

When the rats are driven out by the Orkin man (imagines voice of Stewie from Family Guy, “Damn you, Orkin man!”), they even split in a totally cool rat rod!  Don’t drive these rats out, suburban white bread family!- – Sign them to a contract…FAST!!!- –These boys have a future! 


Categories: absurdities, animals, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, furry, television
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Comments: 3 Comments

Mountain Lions in Connecticut!

June 14, 2011

 – – Mountain lions are said not to exist in Connecticut.  The problem is, however, mountain lions don’t read, and nobody thought to tell them; they just don’t appreciate that the nearest confirmed population of their kind is in Missouri.  As if to reinforce to one mountain lion that he was extinct, an SUV plowed into one on the Wilbur Cross Parkway earlier this month.

Now where do non-indigenous species come from?  Most likely, a rather lively trade in wild animals that is fueled by the internet.  While some states have laws prohibiting private ownership of non-native animals such as big cats, bears, wolves, and chimpanzees other states do not…and this patchwork quilt of different laws from state to state allows the irresponsible to travel to nearby states to make exotic animal purchases.  Sadly, illegal trafficking in exotic animals is a global business worth up to $20 billion annually.   A lot of the local exotic animal trade is fed by zoo or circus surplus,  the descendents of those animals, or from breeders. 

The eastern mountain lion slain may have been held in captivity, and either escaped or was released.  Irresponsible human behaviors continue to claim animal victims in this manner…

(…tip o’ the pen to carycomic!)

Categories: animal abuse, animals, anomalies, environmental, furry, unexplained
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The Dogs of War…

June 10, 2011

 – – I think it was Shakespeare who in one of his history plays (possibly Julius Caesar) had a main character utter a line about “…cry havoc, and let slip the dogs of war.“–Well, the dogs of war are with us, they are valuable supports for our troops, and are doing really cool things, all the while looking great while doing it!  They do furry proud!

Consider that a canine commando came with the Navy SEALs team that nailed Osama bin Laden, arriving strapped onto one of the assault team members.  While the composition of that team is understandably kept secret, most likely the canine  involved was a German shepherd or a Belgian Malinois, although Labrador retrievers are also becoming popular.

There are over 2,700 canines in the military dog program who may function as specialized search dogs or combat trackers, moving ahead of the humans to find explosives or people that are hidden.  Dogs have seen military service for more than 100 years, seeing combat in the Civil War and World War I.  It was only beginning in 1942 that canines were officially inducted into the U.S. army, and today they are a central part of U.S. efforts in Iraq and Afghanistan…

Categories: animals, cool things, furry, furry stories, historical perspectives
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It Don’t Smell Like Roses!

June 6, 2011

 – – A Minnesota man recently deployed a fox product against pranksters who had been toilet papering his property; he hit them with fox urine!–Hey, we didn’t ask to be a biological weapon!

After discovering 15 to 20 people on his soybean field armed with, err, toilet paper, the property owner ordered the teenagers to leave, swore at them, and finally unleashed a Supersoaker squirt gun filled with fox urine upon the group!

…now fox urine has a rather distinctive and putrid smell, so much so that it is used to discourage rodents and other pests from trespassing.  It may therefore be judged equally unpleasant as an aftershave or body spray for young people.  The fox pee gunslinger now faces charges of fifth degree assault and disorderly conduct related to the incident.

Fox urine, by the way, is also a good repellent for rabbits, skunks, squirrels, possums, and woodchucks, and is also available as a less messy shake away powder which works longer, smells stronger, and won’t evaporate, freeze, or soak into the ground the way regular fox urine does…better living through chemistry, right?


Categories: animals, furry, strange happenings, weird
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Comments: 4 Comments

Doritos “Mouse Attack” Commercial!

May 29, 2011

 – – This commercial was actually crafted for initial display at the Super Bowl, and has been around a while but seems to be enjoying a renaissance, so we can benefit, too!  An apparently wealthy man enters his mansion-like home, wearing an immaculate suit and slicked-down hair.  As the opera “Carmen” plays in the background, this man of means baits a mousetrap with Doritos, places it before a classic mouse-hole, and then positions himself in a chair before the baited trap, presumably to enjoy the gruesome spectacle to follow.

The joke’s on Richie Rich, however.  As he stuffs his face with Doritos,  a human-sized mouse in a cheesy fursuit erupts from the wall and is briefly glimpsed bowling into the man, and knocking him and his chair completely over!  We then see the gargantuan mouse astride the prone man, pummeling him with both paws and landing some solid punches!- -Well done, oh mouse that roars!- –Furry Pride! 

 

Categories: absurdities, animals, Brilliant but twisted, cool things, furry, furry commercials, television
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Howl Hitler?

May 27, 2011

 – – The Nazis weren’t much on human rights, but apparently were fond of animals and liked the idea that dogs were intelligent and could communicate with people.   According to a new book “Amazing Dogs:  A Cabinet of Canine Curiosities,”  Nazi specialists attempted to train an elite group of dogs regarded as intelligent to read, write, and speak!

Research from Cardiff University associate professor Dr. Jan Bondeson found that the Nazis collected pups from across Germany and put them through intensive training in the 1930’s at the Tier-Sprechschule ASRA (School for Dog-Human Communication) in the town of Leutenberg.  According to Dr. Bondeson, the hope was that the superior dogs would eventually communicate with their SS masters and act as the ultimate guard dogs. Where it gets really strange is in the contention that an institute-trained dog such as one named Rolf the Airedale could communicate with humans on such topics as  religion and mathematics by tapping out an elaborate code with his paw!  Another dog, Kurwenal, supposedly could crack jokes.

Hitler himself was widely recognized as a dog lover, and had two German Shepherds named Blondi and Bella.  Where talking dogs are concerned, we of course will always have Scooby-Doo…


Categories: animal oddities, animals, historical perspectives, strange happenings, weird
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Comments: 2 Comments

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