Archive for the ‘animals’ category

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Allstate’s “Raccoon Mayhem” Rocks!

August 19, 2011

 – – The Allstate “Mayhem” guy (Dean Winters) in this commercial is representing a raccoon, and every expense has been spared in his raccoon impersonation;  he’s clearly human, he’s wearing a suit, and the only nod to his status as a raccoon are dark circles around his eyes!  You could make yourself look more like a raccoon with a little construction paper…

The acting, however, is another matter; the Mayhem man says, “I’m a raccoon, and this time in your attic has been the best week of my raccoon life!”  He then proceeds to jubilantly demonstrate the things that raccoons can do in an attic, like playing havoc with the electrical wiring, throwing around the insulation, scratching the rafters,  and chewing a hole in the roof, through which we are shown Winters as ‘coon protruding.  “I’m the smartest raccoon I know!,” brags Winters in character, adding that he’s already had “like four babies.”  When Winters walks away from the house at the end of the commercial, he looks like Heath Ledger’s Joker in The Dark Knight walking away from the hospital before it blows…this should further solidify the raccoon rep as bad boys of the furry community!

The dark humor of Raccoon Mayhem is little less than brilliant!

Categories: animals, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, furry, television
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Comments: 3 Comments

Fugitive Cow…

August 17, 2011

 – – I’ve always felt empathy for fugitive cows, those bovines that feel the bloodline of the aurochs stir in them, and so do not go quietly to the slaughter… 

…and so to Yvonne, the six-year-old German cow, I say, You go, girl!  No milk dud, Yvonne escaped in May from a farm in Muehldorf, Germany where she was being prepared for the slaughter.  She made a new home for herself in the Bavarian woods, gaining the notice of authorities when Yvonne jumped in front of German police cars.  Deemed a traffic threat, hunters were then authorized to shoot the cow, which outraged animal rights activists.  An Austrian animal protection group then either offered or has already bought Yvonne from her original farm for 700 euros. 

While receiving much attention, Yvonne remained on the lam, prompting efforts to lure her in by sending bovine family members and friends into the wild.  A bull was even brought in by animal rights activists in an effort to romance the cow, but the bull turned out to be castrated, and Yvonne wasn’t fooled by this flimsy deception.  Things got weirder still when an animal psychic was consulted by the animal rights activists.  The psychic reported having contacted the cow by telepathy, saying that Yvonne was fine but didn’t feel ready to come out of hiding, fearing that the humans would lock her up and that she’d lose her freedom!

Meanwhile, the Hindu community recently issued a statement calling for German authorities to withdraw permission for hunters to shoot Yvonne, saying that the decision was ill-advised.  A German newspaper has also created a Facebook page, and offered a reward of over $14,000 to anyone who can capture Yvonne…

…my sympathies are on the side of the cow on the run, who has probably connected with the underground and awaits the furry revolution…long life and good fortune to you, counter-culture bovine!- -Fight the power, Yvonne!

Categories: animal rights, animals, furry, furry causes, furry heroes, strange happenings
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Real Roadrunners…

August 14, 2011

 – – I love the Warner Bros. Roadrunner cartoons as much as anyone, although I venerate the coyote and like the roadrunner, and if involved would probably negotiate, and try to find Wile E. something else to eat that he might be happy with, maybe order him up a pizza and share a slice with him, canine-to-canine.   In reality, however, roadrunners are not tall, skinny birds that can travel in a blur of motion, make “meep-meep” sounds, and defeat Acme-supplied coyote geniuses. 

They are, however, tough and resourceful birds who are more likely to be doing the murdering than running from would-be murderers.  They are almost exclusively carnivorous, and will eat rattlesnakes, sinking their beaks into the snake and repeatedly smashing it into the ground until the snake is both dead and tenderized in a technique aptly named, the Centrifugal Slam; the snake is then swallowed whole, bit by bit!   Roadrunners will also eat tarantula hawks (an insect), horned lizards, and other birds…all in all, a bird who would rather fight than flee!

Just a reminder that cartoons are rarely accurate sources for aspiring ornithologists or zoologists, and an animal’s lethality should not be judged by its appearance!

Categories: animal behavior, animals, feathered friends
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Liberating Lobsters…

August 10, 2011

 – – In Gloucester, Mass. on August 3rd (Wheel Turning Day),  a group of thirty Tibetan Buddhists bought 534 live lobsters from a seafood wholesaler, clipped the bands binding their claws, and then released them back into the Atlantic from a whale-watching vessel, saving them at least temporarily from the boiling pot.   Among those setting the lobsters free was a chef who no longer cooks live shellfish.  The Buddhists typically liberate masses of the expensive seafood a couple of times each year.

While the Buddhists recognize that the lobsters may be re-captured, it is felt that by the action, the lobsters have had a longer life, even if only by an hour.  Lobsters to the Buddhist are viewed equally with other life forms, with their happiness and suffering  just as important to them as it would be to higher life forms. 

And for the fishermen paid for their labors, it’s a win-win proposition…I dunno what the lobsters think about being captured and then released, but they may perceive it as a near-death experience…

Categories: animal rights, animals, aquatic, philosophy
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Wash and Wear Kitty…

August 4, 2011

 – – Sometimes even being cute isn’t enough to save you from being put through the ringer, or at least the washer.  Maybe it was one royal wedding too many, but something drove Princess, an eight-week-old kitten in the UK city of Aberdeen, into a washing machine where undetected, she survived a one hour washing cycle. 

The kitten was found after the wash cycle concluded, clinging for dear life to a pair of jeans. Rushed to a vet following her ordeal, the kitten was shaken, shivering,  and had  a nose bleed and sore eyes but suffered from no lasting damage.  Cats like to hide in small, dark, and sometimes warm places such as washers and dryers, and such appliances should accordingly be checked by feline owners for occupants prior to use …

Categories: animal behavior, animals, strange happenings
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Hail, Caesar!

July 24, 2011

 – – Caesar’s back, and he’s dark and seriously miffed…Caesar of the Planet of the Apes franchise, that is!  It’s been a long time since the original 1968 Charlton Heston Apes movie introduced us to what was then revolutionary special effects make-up  and the delights of Roddy McDowall as chimpanzee archaeologist Cornelius; he would later play Cornelius’ son, Caesar, in Conquest of the Planet of the Apes, and later in Battle for the Planet of the Apes.  McDowall characteristically spent close to four hours in the make-up chair for each chimpanzee transformation.  Despite wearing heavy ape prosthetic appliances, McDowall was able to effectively emote his character’s personality by exaggerating his facial expressions.

In the new Rise of the Planet of the Apes movie headed your way in August, a scientist is experimenting on a chimpanzee named Caesar to develop a cure for Alzheimer’s Disease.  Caesar’s intelligence is greatly enhanced by the experiments, and well…you know the rest.  The CGI apes have amazingly intelligent-looking eyes, but it remains to be seen whether this new Apes movie will be more fun than a barrel of monkeys or will simply drive you bananas…

Categories: animals, anthropomorphic, furry, furry film classics, furry heroes, movies
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Caddy, the Alaskan Nessie?

July 22, 2011

 – – There’s a monster in Alaska…and no, I do not speak of Sarah Palin!  I even dislike the term, “monster,” for its negative connotations.  But in the North Pacific a 2009 video captures a 20- to 30-foot long unknown creature.  The footage, black and white video, was taken by fishermen on a rainy day with (- -what else?) a shaky camera.  


One eyewitness, none less than Andy Hillstrand of the Deadliest Catch reality tv show, describes the creature as a “big, long white thing moving in the water.”  Spray came out of the creature’s head, and the fishermen chased it for twenty minutes.  Described as “definitely not a shark,” the cryptid was unlike anything that the men had seen before.  

This Nessie-like aquatic animal hails from the Cadboro Bay in British Columbia, and is accordingly called “Caddy” for short.  It is further described as having a long neck, a horse-like head, large eyes, and back bumps that stick out of the water.   No newcomer, reports of such a creature have circulated for 200 years.  In 1937, scientists thought that they might have uncovered physical evidence of  Caddy when what was thought to be a sea serpent was found inside the stomach of a whale. 


Alternative identities of the sightings have made mention of the Beluga whale, an oarfish, or a ribbon fish.  In any case, be wary of large, blurry monsters running rampant on the land and seas!  And would someone with a high-definition camera please get out there?!

Categories: animals, anomalies, cryptozoology, mysteries, strange, unexplained, weird

Comments: 4 Comments

Return of the Slowskys…

July 16, 2011

 – -I have to admit that I’m not a big fan of turtles, and if I want to see something move at glacial speed, I’ll go to Walmart and play “dodge-’em” with the senior shoppers obstructing the aisles there.  The Comcast (now rebranded Xfinity) spokes-turtles, the Slowskys, have been on hiatus for a long time…but would you expect anything else from them?  We last saw the turtle couple, Karolyn and Bill, in 2009.  In the latest Xfinity spot, we learn what the leisurely-pace lovers have been doing in those intervening years…procreating! 

Well, we won’t get into the gritty mechanics of reptilian sex here, as this ain’t that kind of blog…and although he’s been a long time in coming,  offspring Stanley (aka “Bill Jr.”) is at last here, and he’s cute as a button, even boasting toys like a rubber ducky in the comfortable-appearing Slowsky home…

Categories: animals, anthropomorphic, furry commercials, television
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DQ’s “Rock ‘N’ Roll Falcon

July 8, 2011

 – – Falcons seem to be going through a surge in commercial popularity, and Dairy Queen has also come to realize that animal spokesmen sell.  They’ve then given us an all too brief glimpse of one of the most awesome birds yet to be seen on television,  the Rock ‘N’ Roll Falcon!  This is one bird who knows how to do wing gestures, and who also talks the talk; “It’s good to be back in Boston, YEEAAH!”  If used as a front man, this falcon could guarantee that a band’s album would go platinum!

Dairy Queen had earlier given us such things as kittens floating in bubbles as well…

Categories: animals, cool things, feathered friends, furry, furry commercials, television
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The State Farm Falcon Commercial…

July 6, 2011

– – Insurance companies seem to be competing these days over who can produce the most off-the-wall commercials, and State Farm is in the running with an ad featuring a couple walking down a surreal street populated by a number of people, many of whom are carrying strange objects such as a gumball machine or a stuffed moose head.- -Well, it seems our man on the street has been saved sufficient money that he’s invested it in a falcon, which we see perched on his gloved arm.  Others beholding the falcon are envious, and make comments to the effect, “Aww, I could have got a falcon!”  The couple call their State Farm agent and thank him for buying them a falcon, but he denies having done that, maintaining that he simply saves people money, and that what they do with it is their concern.

Despite the fact that the peregrine falcon is magnificent, it should be pointed out that they are classified as raptors, the possession of which generally requires state and federal permits that can take years to acquire as well as specialized knowledge about their care and handling.  You can’t just go out and buy one at Walmart, no matter how much money you’ve saved! 

Categories: absurdities, animals, feathered friends, furry commercials, strange, television
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