Archive for the ‘animals’ category

Nissan Pathfinder Commercial, “The Ark”

July 25, 2014

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A countryside drive in the rain becomes an animal rescue mission of sorts for a father and daughter in a recent Nissan commercial for their Pathfinder model. In this relatively simple but cute entry, it’s not a fit day for man nor beast out…and the animals, both domestic and wild, appear forlornly along the roadside, apparently in need of rescue, or at least a place out of the rain. Fortunately, the Pathfinder has lots of room, and the father obligingly pulls up to allow his daughter to collect the sodden animals, appearing in biblical groups of two.

They certainly are a diverse lot, with even kangaroos and penguins among their number! I’m happy to report that a fox may be seen in the back seat as well. At the end of the ad, the storm is over, the skies are clearing, and the animals are departing the Nissan; the world is made anew! Now if only Russell Crowe had been hired to drive the Pathfinder, clad in his Noah costume…but the producers probably didn’t have that kind of budget.

Bloodless Howler of Harrison County!

July 19, 2014

 

 

wpid-wp-1405813063343.jpeg – -You’ve gotta admit that “Bloodless Howler” is a far better name for a supposed monster than “Hogzilla” or “Sheepsquatch,” and in S2/Ep13 of Mountain Monsters the AIMS team is hot on the trail of this feline/canine hybrid, reputed to weigh 350 lbs. or more, and to have a feline head with a canine-type body.  Interestingly enough, the creature is a “blood sucker,” draining its prey of blood but not consuming their flesh.  Yet another “monster” indigenous to West Virginia, the Howler was first sighted by coal miners who heard its howl, and found prey drained of blood.  One more thing: the creature is reported to be bulletproof, with bullets passing harmlessly through it…

First interviewed was “Cornbread” (not to be confused with Cornfed, the pig-detective on Duckman), who heard a howling noise and saw something with red eyes that was half coyote and half mountain lion.  He fled from it but fell, firing four rounds into it from the ground that didn’t seem to have any effect but thereafter able to regain his footing and flee.  During their first night’s investigation, the team found a “piss post” marked with the creature’s urine, and thought that they saw a large, white creature.  They heard howling and decided to retreat, in that process seeing a dead deer drained of blood with its throat torn out.  

Team members Willy and “Wild Bill” then built a tiger drop box trap, with low comedy provided by “Wild Bill” sliding about by intention on the snowy frozen terrain and at one point making multiple attempts to drive a nail, in the process of which one nail struck him in the face and drew blood.  “Tom,” a mechanic, was interviewed who reported seeing a creature with the body of a dog and a lion-like head.  He also presented a video which showed something going between two vehicles in his junkyard.  Last interviewed was “Charlie,” a farmer, who returned to hogs he was butchering to find a bucket of blood drained.  The bucket was presented to the team, who found the bucket pierced with bite marks.

Well, the trap was set up on Tom’s property, baited with deer and hog blood.  In light of the beast’s reputation for being bulletproof, “Wild Bill” prepared a pointed stick to go after it with.  The team split into two, seeking to drive the creature from opposite directions towards their trap.  “Buck’s” team found a scent post and an apparent den, calling then upon “Trapper’s” group but losing radio contact.  The two factions reunited, however, seeing a thermal image in the junkyard.  These guys are anything but stealthy, making enough noise and commotion to wake the dead.  Converging on their trap, “Wild Bill” saw something in it, but whatever it was managed to escape by digging through a weak point in the back of the trap with the ground having been softened by thawing weather conditions.  

Once again, no catch…but team member “Huckleberry” seemed happy to claim “Wild Bill’s” pointed hunting stick for future use as a back scratcher…and oh yes, next week is the season finale!  I’m sure we can hardly wait…  

 

Snickers “Godzilla” Commercial…

July 16, 2014

 

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Godzilla, as we learn in a Snickers commercial, is an alright dude!  We are shown footage of the big guy in just slightly larger than human form, hanging at the beach, riding four wheelers, playing ping-pong, and making the scene at a party.- – What a party animal!

Godzilla’s actually pretty cool!,” comments one male party-goer to his friend.  “Except when he’s hungry,” corrects the buddy.  Then the footage cuts to Godzilla in full rampage, hundreds of feet tall and blasting cars airborne with his breath.  Fortunately, someone in the crowd knows the remedy for this situation, and lobs Godzilla a Snickers bar. – – He eats the morsel, gets a blissful expression on his massive face, and then suddenly…Party Godzilla is back, water skiing and blending happily into human society again!  

You’re not yourself when you’re hungry, we are told. Studies have shown that hunger and anger can be linked. Maybe then the answer to unrest in the Middle East and elsewhere is simply to bombard the combatants with Snickers bars…heck, diplomacy doesn’t seem to be doing much, so make chocolate, not war!

Hogzilla!

July 12, 2014

 

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The topic of really large feral pigs has come up before on some shows like Monster Quest, and doctored photos of hunters with gigantic hog kills may readily be found on the Internet. It was probably just a matter of time before the Mountain Monsters crew went hog wild themselves, finally venturing out of West Virginia into Hocking Hills, Ohio for a crack at the big pig. You do know as well that the bottom of the barrel is being scraped when a wild boar is being considered a “monster.”

Well, the Hogzilla in question was reputed to weigh 1,200 lbs., be 8′ to 9′ long, and stand about 4-1/2′ tall at the shoulders. Most interestingly, the hog is reputed to have small, crude, usable paws. It was first sighted in the 1790’s, and terrorizes local farmers.

A local eyewitness called “Wild Man” was first interviewed, a backwoods archaeologist who reported seeing a fanged creature who got up on two legs. In the area, the team found a log broken open for grubs. On their first night’s investigation, the team found a trail with leaves torn up, saw a thermal image, heard the beast roar, and found his nest; team member Buck claimed to have caught a glimpse of the beast.

A tunnel trap was built of steel while expert tracker “Wild Bill” provided low comedy grossness by chewing on pork ribs, contending that he was “eating his enemy.” A farmer called Beau was interviewed who contended that the creature tore up his feed bags, and that he saw it stand on its back legs. Beau also shared a shadowy cell phone video of the beast. Also interviewed were hobbyists Tom and Elaine, who had a trail camera image clearer than most that showed the front half of a boar.

The trap was baited with corn and covered with brush, and the final night’s hunt was conducted by Beau’s barn. Urine and mangled underbrush were seen, and “Buck” made hog calls. The hog was tracked to a barn where he could be heard but not seen; the wily devil had slipped out! They pursued him to a feed trailer, where the hog burst out the back. Hooting and hollering, the team pursued their quarry to the trap, where…miracle of miracles…they had actually caught something, a Russian wild boar about 8′ long. It did not have long razor tusks or paws, but as Wild Bill sagely proclaimed, “That is one big pig!”

Seemingly ecstatic that they had actually caught something for once, the team called animal control. Hail to thee, oh mighty hunters! – – Are you not entertained?!

Dish Kangaroo Hopper “Mommy Mind” Commercial

July 10, 2014

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Other than the occasional “Aussie” hair products commercial, you don’t see a lot of kangaroos in advertising, and it’s hard not to like this little guy, who appreciates a good nap yet is there when you need him. The ‘roo is of the size and general appearance of a stuffed animal, and is sensibly belted into his seat. Riding shotgun in the family car with Momma at the wheel and two boys beginning to fuss in the back seat, the Dish kangaroo awakens from a sound sleep, proclaiming that naps are awesome!  He quickly takes the measure of the feuding kids in the back seat, telling the driving Mom, “Chill out, Momma Bear…I got this!” as he hands the warring brats a tablet with their favorite shows on it. – – Why, it’s a miracle! The brats shut up, and blessed silence again reigns, their little minds engaged by the shows that have been downloaded to the tablet by the Dish Hopper feature. It’s so much better than throwing the kids from the moving vehicle, and with far less legal complications!

“How did you do that?,” asks the grateful and incredulous Mom. The kangaroo then explains how with the Hopper he put all of the kids’ fave recorded shows on the tablet, “So you wouldn’t lose your Mommy mind in the car.”

“Mommy likes Dish!,” responds the long-suffering Mother, who has been driven half out of her nut by her kids.  I’m sure that lots of parents can identify with that on a car trip of any duration.

“OK!,” responds the kangaroo, with a tone and expression indicating that he is slightly weirded out by Mommy’s reaction…and wouldn’t “The Kangaroo in the Car” or “Road ‘Roo” be a great title for a kid’s book?!

Cave Creature of Greenbrier County…

June 29, 2014

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If you like things that go bump in the dark, the Cave Creature installment of Mountain Monsters was a hoot!  In this episode, the AIMS team went in quest of an elusive cave creature in Greenbrier County, West Virginia. –What is it about West Virginia, anyways, that apparently generates these supposed “monsters” like fruit flies?! Anyways, the Cave Creature in question weighs in at about 600 pounds, stands six to seven feet tall, and is human-like but has long arms and big hands.  Essentially hairless, the creature has great leaping and climbing abilities and lives within the twenty mile Bloodrun cave system, coming out in search of prey.  Early sightings go back to the 1850’s and the Shawnee Indians.

The rough-hewn Mountain Monsters crew first interviewed cave explorer, “Ed,” who reported hearing noises and saw something within the cave that blended in to the rock surfaces.  During their first night’s investigation, the team ventured into the vast cavern system, found a pile of bones within, and saw scratch marks on a rock face.   As the confines of the cave made large, conventional traps impossible, trap-maker Willy and sidekick “Wild Bill” made multiple leg-hold snares.  These snares, over forty in number, were positioned inside the north entrance of the cave system.

 An outdoorsman and hunter, “Junior” was interviewed who reported hearing the sound of the creature, and had caught on a trail cam an image of what appeared to be the hunched back of something unknown.  “Foley,” a deer hunter, was also interviewed who also had heard sounds and recorded on his cell phone a low, grumbling sound like a growl or roar.  On the final night of the hunt, most of the team went into the south entrance of the caverns to flush the beastie north to where the snares awaited.  For good measure, “Buck” was positioned outside of the north entrance with a rifle should the creature avoid the snares and escape there.  The team had fashioned old-school torches that they carried in an attempt to scare the creature with fire, and had they carried pitchforks as well, the group would have resembled the ragtag type mob of villagers that pursued the Frankenstein monster and similar creatures in old horror movies.  While the flaring torches provided great dramatic effect, they soon burned out, and the team had to switch to battery-powered lights.  

Things started to get interesting when the team found a severed and largely denuded wolf head presumably left as a warning to the team, kind of a “how do you do…this could be you!” thing.  The rock with Willy’s furthest snare was found broken with the attaching nail and snare itself missing; other snares had been left untouched.  As the team wandered further into the dark, winding caverns, fleeting thermal images of something were seen. Investigating a crevice by crawling into it, Willy was grabbed by the foot and dragged briefly backwards!  Yelling, bouncing light beams, and waving guns dominated the scene at this point.  (Memorable line:  “I’m as scared as a prostitute in church!”)  Going further towards the north cave entrance, multiple snares in the pathways had been missed, as if the creature had seen and avoided them, or perhaps climbed along the rock faces.  A hand print was seen, and there was also a brief, partial glimpse of something at a crest.   At that point, the extensive cavern system diverged into multiple passageways, which made further tracking and pursuit of the Cave Creature impossible.  This game went to the Cave Creature.  “He can have the cave!,” concluded “Wild Bill.”  All’s well that ends, I guess…

Snallygaster of Preston County…

June 22, 2014

wpid-1403393359636.jpgWest Virginia continues to be a hotbed of unknown species with the Snallygaster   (S2/Ep11, 2014), said to be a huge, flying reptile with a twenty-foot wingspan that weighs in at about 800 pounds.  First seen in the mid-1700’s, the Snallygaster was known to German immigrants. Multiple sightings occurred in more recent times in the 1990’s.

 The Mountain Monsters team first interviewed an eyewitness, “Bub,” a trapper whose coyote traps were being robbed of their catch and ripped from the ground.  “Bub” reported hearing a loud screech and beholding something about 7′ tall with a beak.  Their first night’s investigation followed, with area coyotes appearing stirred up and parts of “Bub’s” traps found.  Noises were heard up high, and fearing aerial attack the team took refuge under logs, vacating the scene thereafter.  

A second eyewitness, “Ty,” was interviewed the following day.  This squirrel hunter reported that one of his dogs was slain by something unknown, finding the animal dead with a puncture wound.  He had set up a trail camera, sharing two images which seemed to show something on the ground with wings.  A third eyewitness, “Mark,” a farmer, reported hearing coyotes fighting with the creature near his farm.  Remarkably, “Mark” also presented a large fractured egg, said to be one of the Snallygaster’s.  Speculated then was a scenario where the coyotes had stolen the eggs of the Snallygaster, causing it to essentially go to war with coyote-kind.  The coyotes needed a champion, and Wile E. Coyote was nowhere to be seen.  

A reverse catapult trap to catch the flying reptile had originally been designed, but the box component of it proved too heavy to support aloft, resulting in the team resorting to a simpler box trap.  On their final night’s hunt, the team as was their usual practice split into two groups to flush the beastie towards their trap.  They saw two sets of eyes in the darkness, suggesting that there were at least two of the creatures.  One of the team groups found a ground nest with a deer leg in it; they radioed the other team members, and fearing attack took refuge jointly in an old cabin. In a scene reminiscent of the original Night of the Living Dead movie, the united AIMS team was put under attack (or so it was presented) in their cabin refuge, with impact thumps heard to the roof and walls.  Feeling themselves to be sitting ducks in the cabin, the team members fled the location, taking off down the mountain in their all-terrain vehicles while apparently under pursuit for part of the distance by presumably the Snallygasters.  The dragon-like beasts abandoned their pursuit of the humans when they were partway down the mountain, possibly feeling that they weren’t worth their time…

 

Shadow Creature of Braxton County…

June 19, 2014

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Sometimes, perceived “monsters” may be non- indigenous species; a mountain lion outside of its normal habitat, for example.  That hardly seems to be the case with the Shadow Creature of Grafton County, however, as presented on S2/Ep07 (2014) of the Mountain Monsters series.  The Shadow Creature is reported to stand 6′ to 8′ tall, to weigh 350 to 500 pounds, and to have long teeth and most surprisingly, an exoskeleton!  It travels at night, lives in the shadows, and moves in stealth…quite a formidable creature!  Sightings of the beast date back to the mid-1800’s in West Virginia, at which time five Union soldiers were reportedly attacked and mutilated by the creature.

The first reported eyewitness interviewed was a hunter called “Benji,” who walked out of his shooting location to see something about 7′ tall, dark black in color, that had an exoskeleton, blended in with trees, and moved quickly on steep ground.  During their first night’s investigation, the AIMS team failed to find tracks in the snow but found deer blood, inferring that the creature had leaping ability.  They also had thermal images of something, and heard screeching sounds..

The next day, a snare trap was constructed and baited with deer. During trap construction, the woods became silent and a cry was heard.  A tree segment appeared to be thrown at Willy and “Wild Bill” while they were checking out a cave.  “Kim,” an eyewitness who held a rifle during the entire interview, related that the creature was killing deer, leaving their heads strewn about.  The hunter shared a blurred trail cam image of something large and dark with an apparent exoskeleton. 

During their final night’s hunt, the steep terrain made it difficult to flush the creature out, and Willy fell some distance.  Fleeting thermal images were seen, and it was felt that a visual sighting was also made.  Ice 1″ thick was seen to have been broken.  When they reached their trap, the deer bait had been taken although the trap was unsprung, with the deer apparently accessed through a hole made in the side of the trap.  Shadowy images were captured by a trail camera left in the trap vicinity, and team leader “Trapper” noted that the creature hadn’t turned on them, so they had put the fear of men into him…believe it, or not!

Death Cat of Cherokee County…

June 9, 2014

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It was another case of a ferocious feline on a recent episode of Mountain Monsters (S2/Ep10, 2014).  The Death Cat in question weighs in at 500 pounds, measures 6′ long without his tail, and has a shaggy coat.  He was first spotted in the early 1800’s in Cherokee County, North Carolina so that was the location to which the AIMS team made haste.  An interesting wrinkle was the fact that this cat was not your ordinary Death Cat, having mythical qualities.  His initial appearances clocked in at about the time of the infamous “Trail of Tears” death march on which Native Americans were sent in the early 19th century, and this feline is supposedly kind of a payback for that injustice.  Supposedly, if you see the Death Cat, you will die…this is the kinda cat that not only gets your tongue, but the rest of you as well!

First interviewed was a beef cattle farmer by the name of “Herbal,” whose cattle were being killed in the classic big cat style, namely bitten by the throat and suffocated.  A 10″ paw print was found in the area.  During their first night’s investigation, the team found claw marks on a downed tree, and saw a thermal image in the brush.  Team rookie “Buck” got a bit carried away at that point, rushing ahead to pursue the beast but only catching a glimpse.  

The next day, a trip-string drop trap was constructed out of locust wood.  Interviewed was “Boone,” a farmer whose horse had been attacked, mutilated, and partially eaten.  He had a trail camera image supposedly showing part of the beast as seen from the side.  “David,” another farmer interviewed, had lost sheep killed in his barn, and also had a trail camera image taken in his tool shed.  This suggested that the creature had lost its fear of man, and was becoming bolder in invading human habitations.  

The trap was baited with a mixture of goat, pork, and urine provided by team member “Buck.”  Team leader “Trapper” was not informed of the urine component nor its origin, and low comedy hilarity ensued as Trapper put out the bait bare-handed and then stroked his beard as he was prone to do.  On their final night’s hunt, the team sought to flush the Death Cat from high country to farm country in a pincher movement executed by the split team moving towards their trap.  They found another large print, and entered an old barn where a goat leg was found.  Thinking that they had interrupted the cat in his meal, the team advanced closer to the barn loft where it was assumed that the beast had fled.  Blood dripped from above onto “Buck” at that point, soon to be followed by a goat carcass crashing to the floor.  The creature was fleetingly seen by team members running out of the barn door, and was pursued to another farm building from which he again escaped, returning to the previous building to claim his goat and make off with it…

This cat was slick!- – Although flushed towards the trap pursued by multiple armed men, he knew better than to enter the trap, avoiding it and making good his getaway.  The team did capture a number of images from a trail camera that they had posted near the site, one of which showed what appeared to be a large predacious-type feline captured in side view.  The Mountain Monsters team seemed to be awfully pleased with themselves for getting that, and considered their work well-done…and long may the Death Cat continue to confound its pursuers!

The Russian Yeti…

June 7, 2014

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The Discovery Channel recently presented a two hour investigation on the mysterious deaths of nine Russian students who perished horribly while hiking in the Ural Mountains in January of 1959…the Dyatlov Pass Incident. The deaths were horrendous, involving injuries so severe that Russian investigators later ruled that they could only have been inflicted by something more powerful than a human; there were skull fractures, ribs broken, and damages to internal organs.  Injuries were compared to those which might be suffered in automobile accidents. Bodily mutilations  were also seen; one victim had their eyes gouged out, and their tongue and lips missing. The show inferred that the students were viciously slaughtered by a Yeti, investigating the history and other reported sightings of the creature in that area, and speculating on the last days of the ill-fated hiking party.  It made for compelling if disturbing viewing…

Now reports of the Yeti are numerous in the Northern Ural Mountains of Siberia, with over 5,000 eyewitness testimonies on record.  Yeti/Bigfoot creatures go by many different names dependent on the area, with those in the area of the incident often calling the cryptid the Menk or more simply, the Russian Yeti.  The creature is described as being about 8-1/2 feet high, to have little in the way of a neck, to be hairy, and walk in a bipedal fashion with somewhat of a hunched posture.  They are also reported to make whistling-type sounds that carry and reverberate.  Yeti attacks while rare are alleged to have occurred in 1925, 1945, and 1953, possibly when the Yeti feel cornered or threatened.

Anyways, none of the students returned from what was supposed to have been a two-week hiking trip. Perceiving themselves to being followed several days into the journey, tensions and concerns heightened until on their final night alive, something so frightened the hikers that they abandoned their tent, fleeing only partly dressed into the frigid night to a point almost a mile away where they split into smaller groups, all the individuals in which met with violent ends; some may have been trying to climb a tree to escape, others were found lying face down as if fleeing a pursuit from behind, and still others were found in a group intertwined together as if in hiding.  Their frozen bodies were discovered some time later, and in their abandoned and ruined camp a short note was found bearing the haunting message, “Now we know the snowman exists.”  

Film was also recovered from the doomed expedition, one image of which showed a blurry image of a large, hulking creature (see picture) that was perhaps taken on the run.  The last photo showed distorted bright lights in the sky, which it was speculated may have been some kind of secret Soviet munitions test; this was a remote location in Siberia, after all.  Thinking that this may have scared the Yeti into an attack, the investigative duo and their camera team fired off flares seeking to provoke any Yeti in the area; only one armed hunter had accompanied the group for protection.  An eerie sound was heard from the forest, with the solitary armed man suggesting that they needed to leave at that point, and wisely they did.  The team left with no hard evidence of the Yeti, but a general belief that something unknown was out there, and may well have decimated the Russian hikers in 1959.

The Soviets had closed their investigation of the incident after only several weeks, officially maintaining that overwhelming natural forces such as an avalanche had killed the hikers or caused them to freeze to death.  A surviving member of the Russian investigative team was interviewed, however, saying that a military boot cover was found at the site of the abandoned camp, suggesting that the Soviet military had been there prior to their arrival and orchestrated a cover-up.  UFO theorists also offer the explanation that perhaps the hikers were offed by aliens, with the lights in the skies that fateful evening coming from extraterrestrial craft.  High levels of radioactivity were reported to have been detected in the area, with the skin of the victims reported by one who attended their funerals to have been deeply tanned, perhaps radiation burned.  

Whatever we may choose to believe, the Dyatlov Pass Incident continues to horrify and fascinate over half a century since the event, with many unanswered questions posed that may never find resolution…