Archive for February 2012

Dueling Porkers…

February 29, 2012

– – Riding on the coattails of the popularity of Geico’s Maxwell the pig, Cici’s Pizza has unleashed near look-alike pigs seen speeding around in a blue van…and the kicker is, these pigs are advertising not insurance, but  (-gasp!) a Hog Fest promotion, which means a pizza with bacon, sausage, ham, and pepperoni!- –Oh the horror, the horror!

Things may get ugly in the Pig Wars from this point on, but you may count on Foxsylvania to give you an unflinching look at the atrocities  and keep you fully informed, for you deserve nothing less!

“Diving Horse” Revival Scrapped…

February 27, 2012

– – In times gone by, New Jersey’s fabled Atlantic City featured at their Steel Pier a so-called “diving horse” act which began in the 1920’s, and was shut down five decades later.   In the stunt, a horse ascended to the top of a 40-foot platform, and didn’t as much dive as was tipped off it, plunging the animal and its rider into a 12-foot deep water tank below.   Animal rights advocates maintained that the act at the very least scared horses, and carried the potential for them to be injured or even killed.

A brief return of the act happened in 1993 with riderless mules substituted for the horses, but protests ended that revival.  Nostalgia for Atlantic City’s edgy past prompted recent plans for another diving horse comeback, but successful online petitions against the plan caused the revival rather than the horses to be tanked…

The Island of Unconventionally Proportioned Animals…

February 25, 2012

– – If you’re up to seeing Michael Caine riding a giant wasp in a movie that includes  former wrestler Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson as well as wildlife such as really small elephants, you just might like to view the sequel to 2008’s Journey to the Centre of the Earth 3D, awkwardly called,  Journey 2:  The Mysterious Island.  

Advance reviews of the movie appear marvelous in their negativity, with professional film critics noting day-glo vegetation, giant rocks clearly made of styrofoam, and terming the flick, “…everything a twelve-year-old boy could want.”  Jules Verne is probably spinning in his grave over this one…

Permian Pompeii?

February 23, 2012

– – Roughly 298 million years ago, a volcano erupted in the Inner Mongolian district near the modern-day city of Wuda, China raining down volcanic ash with such intensity that a forest was quickly buried and essentially preserved in remarkable detail down to branch and leaf structure. American and Chinese  scientists have recently excavated this lost forest, ironically through coal mining activities in the region. 

The preserved forest of about 11,000 square feet gives researchers the unique opportunity to examine an ecosystem essentially frozen in time by a natural disaster dating back to when the earth had only one giant landmass known as Pangaea.  Scientists have worked with artist Ren Yugao to capture how the sites may have looked at the time…

DirecTV’s “Grandson With A Dog Collar”

February 21, 2012

– – Some people regard this commercial as hilarious while others regard it as an ad full of stereotypes and prejudice.  It’s DirecTV’s “Don’t Have A Grandson With A Dog Collar” ad which like  others for the same company takes us through a chain of events sequence illustrating the consequences of making a bad or wrong decision.  In this one, it seems that if your cable is on the fritz, you get frustrated.  When you get frustrated, your daughter imitates.  When your daughter imitates, she gets thrown out of school.  When your daughter gets thrown out of school, she meets “undesirables” (-shown hanging out in a video game room, gasp!).  When she meets undesirables, your daughter ties the knot with undesirables.  And when your daughter ties the knot with undesirables, you get a grandson with a dog collar!  Don’t have a grandson with a dog collar, we are admonished…get rid of cable, and upgrade to DirecTV!

Now dog collars themselves are worn by a variety of different types, including actual canines as well as some goths, heavy metal fans, sado-masochists, and furries.  It’s a personal decision and a personal statement that doesn’t mean that the wearer is bound for a life of crime, or that social deviance is inherently bad.- – No, I don’t wear one, but I’m I’m fine with it if you do…and I can see how some people of alternative life styles might be offended by this commercial.

On the other hand, the expression on the face of the painfully straight grandfather as he sits at the end of the commercial  holding his dog-collar wearing grandson is priceless!  It’s a fish out of water scene that might be a scenario for a sitcom…

DirecTV’s “Stop Taking In Stray Animals!”

February 19, 2012

– – A series of DirecTV commercials shows us the consequences of making bad decisions in a chain of events fashion reminiscent of Laura Numeroff’s 1985 children’s classic,  If You Give A Mouse A Cookie.  It seems that if you pay too much for cable, you throw things.  If you throw things, people think that you have anger issues.  When people think that you have anger issues, your schedule clears up.  When your schedule clears up, you grow a scraggly beard.  When you grow a scraggly beard, you start taking in stray animals; and when you take in stray animals, you can’t stop taking in stray animals!  

In this half a minute gem, we are shown each step in this downwards spiral, winding up with our unfortunate man at home looking cheerfully demented with unkempt hair and beard, clad in his robe and slippers and surrounded by numerous stray dogs and cats and even a raccoon and opossum!   We are told that one may break out of this bleak cycle and stop taking in stray animals by getting rid of cable, and subscribing to DirecTV…

Aspects of this commercial are funny and I take it in the spirit in which it was intended, but the problems of animal collecting and hoarding are real as are the problems of homeless, neglected, and abused pets.  The commercial might also be criticized for potentially ridiculing those who have taken in stray animals, a practice which is far from objectionable if done responsibly and in full awareness and acceptance of the commitment involved…  

Geico’s Black Panther…

February 18, 2012

Geico continues to produce noteworthy commercials with a furry twist, one of their latest featuring a magnificent black panther doing duty as a money-saving home security system!   I certainly wouldn’t mess with him…trouble is, the couple employing the big feline’s services aren’t getting much sleep out of the deal, especially since the panther appears to be sizing the duo up, staring as cats do so uncannily well and licking his lips- -heck, they can’t even talk as the fearful woman “shushes” the guy! 

The point of the commercial is that Geico offers security that will save you money and doesn’t involve adopting a rescue panther, but cat people will enjoy seeing this black beauty, who as David Bowie sang so memorably, “…can stare for a thousand years.”

Icelandic River Monster?

February 15, 2012

  – – A video reportedly showing an apparent subarctic anaconda snaking its way upstream through Iceland’s Jokulsa River as shot by a 67-year-old farmer has been subjected to an analysis in which the position of the monster’s head were matched up with relation to static reference points.  It was concluded that the “monster” was actually stuck in one place on the river, with moving water creating the illusion of a swimming snake.

The object is thought to be a fishing net or long piece of cloth caught on a branch or a rock lying beneath the surface of the water.  The serpentine shape is caused by chunks of ice hanging onto the net.

Iceland does have a legendary Lagafljot Worm, the Icelandic equivalent of the Loch Ness monster…but this was no Nessie cousin.

Street Luge Maxwell!

February 13, 2012

 – – Maxwell the Pig seems to be getting into extreme sports, and continues to be hamming it up and having the time of his life!  Geico’s original 2010 commercial turned the porker into a web sensation, and the last time we saw him he was flying down a zip-wire.  Now Maxwell’s trying out a street luge, and making it all look easy;  he catches up to a street-luging human, gives him a memorable “bro-nod,” warns him “Ahh…heads up!,” and then becomes airborne!   At no time does Maxwell lose his blue and white pinwheels or express anything but giddy delight as he “Weee’s” his way along in his quest for the ultimate thrill!

Yeti in Stride Gum Whitemint Commercial…

February 11, 2012

 – – With Stride gum packing long-lasting flavor, management has to take strong measures to get consumers to spit out their gum wad, take a new chew, and so grease the economic wheels.  They have devised ingenious ways of doing just that; past commercials have depicted rams butting customers, wrestlers squeezing the gum out of them, and German folk dancers slapping them chew-free.  Now, an even heavier hitter has been recruited; the legendary Yeti!

This isn’t your father’s abominable snowman, mind you, although he certainly is cool!  This Yeti enters a marketing meeting wearing a headband and earphones, and delivers a gut punch to one manager, physically forcing him to expel his gum.  A voiceover warns, “Spit it out.  Or Yeti will find you.”

Stride Whitemint gum is licensed by gold medalist snowboarder Shaun White, although I’d much rather meet the Yeti