Talking Beasts of Burden…

Posted May 27, 2025 by vulpesffb
Categories: anthropomorphic, furry, furry films, furry literature, furry sidekicks, furry stories, twisted reality

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While Mr. Ed gets most of the attention, he was preceded by Francis the Talking Mule. The original Francis movie was released in 1950, and would go on to appear in a total of seven, yes seven movies! Elvis had not yet hit the scene, and people in the 50’s needed something to do, so they translated to film from three short stories written by David Stern for Esquire magazine about a talking army mule who would only talk to a dimwitted lieutenant, helping him in his military and other ventures…

Now Francis was actually a female donkey named Molly, selected because she was easy to handle. She supposedly cost $350 to buy, but made millions from the film series. To create the illusion that the mule was actually talking, thread would be fed into the animal’s mouth which would cause the mule-actress to try and remove it by moving her lips. The same technique would later be used for Mister Ed! Francis would also appear in a 1952-53 comic strip, Francis, the Famous Talking Mule.

A talking donkey, however, preceded Francis in The Bible! In the Biblical Book of Numbers, Chapter 22, verses 21 – 39 we are given an extraordinary account of an Old Testament furry, a female donkey who had her mouth opened by the Lord to the extent that she was able at least temporarily to talk to her abusive master and engage in a dialogue with him!

It would seem that Balaam was a pagan non-Israelite prophet and diviner who was commissioned by Balak, King of the Moabites, to lay a curse on the Israelites. After divining and seeing that the Lord was really with the Israelites and that they could not be cursed, Balaam relayed his message to Moabite king, who would not take no for an answer. Yahweh then instructed Balaam to to follow the Moabite delegation to the hill upon which Balak thinks Isreal would be cursed…

On route, Balaam rode his donkey, who alone perceived an angel standing in the road with a drawn sword in his hand, and turned off the road into a field. Balaam beat the donkey to get it back on the road. Then the angel stood in a narrow path through vineyards with walls on both sides. The donkey pressed close to the wall, crushing Balaam’s foot against it. The louse beat the poor donkey again…

So the donkey moved ahead, and this time the angel appeared in a narrow place where there was no room to turn either to the right or the left. The donkey simply lay down at that point under Balaam, and the crud became angry and beat the poor animal a third time!

Then the transformation happened. The Almighty opened the donkey’s mouth, and it said to Balaam, “What have I done to you to make you beat me these three times?” Balaam answered his pack animal, telling her that she had made a fool out of him, and that had he a sword in his hand, he’d kill the poor thing right then! The donkey’s words revealed that it had been trying to warn Balaam about the angel, to which Balaam finally bowed and admitted his sin. Sadly, the donkey kinda drops from the Biblical narrative at that point, but is an early example of an anthropomorphic being, as well as an early animal rights advocate. One can imagine them being voiced by Eddie Murphy as in Shrek…

So guys, if you come across a talking mule or donkey, give them a listen…you just might become a believer!

IKEA’s “Next Weekend” Spot…

Posted April 26, 2025 by vulpesffb
Categories: advertising, animal presence, commercials, events involving animals, furry, furry commercials, television

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In this IKEA TV spot, a family is called by “Uncle Ricky” to be reminded that they had offered to host a barbecue next weekend, a fact that they had obviously forgotten. Looking out at their backyard to check the status of their yard, they find that nature has quite taken it over, for there are raccoons, opossums, rabbits, and even a background deer cavorting around!

“What are those rabbits doing,” questions the son. While we are not shown the act, one suspects from their positioning that the rabbits are “doing what comes naturally,” and giving junior a free lesson on reproduction. Mom and Dad look at one another, and converse, “IKEA?- –IKEA!”

So when Uncle Ricky arrives, the family’s backyard has been transformed by the purchase of a large table and chair set from IKEA for a proper barbecue, and even the animals appear happy…

X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X

(…and hooray for backyard barbecue season!)

The Repatha Heart Commercial…

Posted April 18, 2025 by vulpesffb
Categories: absurdities, advertising, alternative realities, anthropomorphic, commercials, humor, strange, television

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I rather like the notion of having anthropomorphic internal organs that can function outside of our bodies without killing us by their absence, and come complete with their own sets of organs, such as limbs, eyes, mouths, and apparently brains, as such ambulatory organs can talk. We’ve earlier seen commercials for stand-alone organs such as the bladder (Myrbetriq), who (below) kind of resembles a large red apple with very soulful eyes…

Now wouldn’t it be cool if you also could at will detach various of your internal organs, and take the whole family out for, say, a walk in the park? Or perhaps send them on missions to do your bidding, even to freak out or scare people? There’s got to be a good horror movie in that scenario, with you having a perfect alibi for the police while your organs went out to terrorize the neighborhood!– –This could give a whole new meaning to venting your spleen! Why, with autonomous, detachable organs, you could even bring new meaning to the old song, “I Left My Heart In San Francisco! I’ll bet that the heart could really belt out the old standards, I tell ‘ya!

(A heart in a piano bar, performing a medley of Tony Bennett songs…)

But I weirdly digress…the heart in this Repatha commercial is a sweet if wounded soul, wearing a bandage on her head to denote having suffered a heart attack. I’m assuming here that the heart has the same gender as its possessor, as it does have rather feminine eyes, eyelashes, and lips…but we’ll leave the matter of secondary sexual characteristics in organs to wiser heads than mine, such wasn’t covered in my biology courses…

Repatha is used to control LDL cholesterol when statins alone don’t do the job, and both the lady and her detached organ don’t want another heart attack. Appropriately enough, the sound track to the commercial is the song, “Listen To Your Heart…”

So a Happy Easter to all, and please leave your organs within your body, or at least keep them on a leash…don’t leave your muscles in Brussels! And if you leave your heart in San Francisco, maybe high on a hill, it will call to you…

Little Caesars Pretzel Crust Commercial…

Posted April 14, 2025 by vulpesffb
Categories: absurdities, advertising, alternative realities, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, commercials, furry commercials, furry television, humor, television

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Little Caesars has brought back it’s Pretzel Crust pizza touted in this commercial, and it’s all that office anthropomorphic sheep worker Brian can think about…so much so, in fact, that he keeps bleating that “It’s BAAAAACK,” at one point pounding his hooves on his computer keyboard to bring up the BAAAAACK legend on his computer screen…

While bosses would like to have sheepish, compliant workers, I doubt that those hooves of worker Brian would be capable of hitting individual keys on the keyboard. Brian does, however, sport good office attire, so we can perhaps forgive him if he acts a bit sheepish…

Flonase “Save Your Relationship With Nature” Commercial…

Posted April 1, 2025 by vulpesffb
Categories: absurdities, advertising, commercials, strange, the plant kingdom

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I’ve always found anthropomorphic plants a bit creepy, even if they are sunflowers…and this 2025 Flonase commercial is no exception! With a monstrous specimen of this size sitting on the couch right next to her, flowering vines and all, it’s no wonder that this lady has allergy problems…

Now anthropomorphic flowers are rare in both horror and commercials, and this one appears to have eyes, a nose, and most disturbingly, teeth! One is hard pressed to think of ambulatory and even sentient plants, although The Day of the Triffids movies (1962 and 2018) come to mind. Audrey II from Little Shop of Horrors (1986) was also a classic that even generated a musical. Even more recently, we have the heroic and self-sacrificing Groot from Guardians of the Galaxy, so perhaps plants are starting to come into their own…

In the 2025 Flonase commercial, the lady complains to her floral companion that “He makes her feel so miserable!” The sunflower appears to feel badly about this, extending some vines in her direction but only causing a sneeze…

Fortunately, Flonase is taken, and we last see the lady and flower in the great outdoors, both untroubled to enjoy the experience!- – I just love happy endings, don’t you?

“Secrets Declassified” With David Duchovny Is Coming!

Posted March 15, 2025 by vulpesffb
Categories: anomalies, cool things, mysteries, noteworthy, paranormal, speculation, strange happenings, television, unexplained

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It’s hard to believe that The X-Files aired thirty years ago, and equally hard to fathom that David Duchovny is now 64 years old. Rejoice at least that the guy who brought Fox Mulder of the FBI to life is hosting and producing a new 10-part documentary show on the History Channel called, “Secrets Declassified” that may at least have something of an X-Files vibe to it…

David Duchovny and mysterious secrets seem to go together, and the series promises to “profile the government’s most secretive, strange and mind-blowing activities that have been declassified throughout history.” Topics will, of course, include Area 51...

Secrets Declassified will premiere on The History Channel April 4th, and I’m on board for it!

The truth is out there” – –Fox Mulder

Classic Looney Tunes, With A Fox!

Posted March 8, 2025 by vulpesffb
Categories: anthropomorphic, cartoons, furry, obscure fox characters, Vintage

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A classic Looney Tunes feature from 1948 is brought to your attention here as it includes a fox! In What Makes Daffy Duck?, you’ll note that the characters are drawn somewhat differently from this time period, especially Daffy. The inclusion of a fox is wonderful, and it makes me wish that Warner Bros. had perhaps included an on-going fox character, perhaps as a foil to Bugs and Daffy, even if they couldn’t render fox hind legs properly. The ‘toon was still remarkably ahead of its time for 1948, and what a wonderful closing line for Daffy…”Obviously, I’m dealing with inferior mentalities!”

It would seem that poor Daffy can’t even take a shower in the outdoors without drawing the attention of Elmer, but also of a rather lean and determined fox, who is easily as bright as Elmer, and manages to hold his own against him in spite of not having a firearm. The fox does speak, in addition, and manages to make off with Daffy at one point, although Daffy never appears terribly concerned about either Elmer or the fox…

It’s interesting to see Daffy featured in a type of role that in the future would be largely relegated to Bugs, who generally is more sarcastic and cerebral than Daffy, who is more manic. At any rate, I’ve attached a shortened version of the cartoon for you to enjoy that is basically the beginning and ending. Longer full versions are available on line, but those on YouTube have review voice-overs on them, which I find annoying…

And just a reminder that the new feature-length cartoon, The Day the Earth Blew Up, is opening on March 14th, 2025, featuring Daffy, Porky, and Petunia…

“Flow;” Courageous Cat in An Aquatic Apocalypse…

Posted February 16, 2025 by vulpesffb
Categories: alternative realities, animal presence, animals, fantasy, furry, furry movies

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Flow is a 2024 animated movie that features a young black cat with large, expressive eyes who is trying with other diverse creatures to survive a flood of almost Biblical proportions. His companions include a lemur, a secretary bird, several dogs, and surprisingly, a capybara…

Victims of circumstance, the unlikely menagerie are swept up in extensive flooding of their homelands, places that are never precisely specified or illustrated, and wind up clambering onto a small, well-worn sailboat that serves as their life raft and conveyance through a watery wasteland. This is a “journey”type of movie…

These animals are not anthropomorphic, and do not speak but make animal sounds appropriate for their species. For the most part, their movements are completely believable for the animals depicted. While essentially realistic, the animal companions are not finely detailed or photorealistic, nor are the habitats that they pass through on their survival journey. At one point, a fantastic whale-type creature unlike anything I’m familiar with vaults over the small craft. There’s nary a human in sight, although we are shown abandoned if nondescript settlements. While there is no dialogue, there’s a soothing musical background soundtrack, and the combined effect is somewhat magical or mystical. This is neither Disney nor Wild Kingdom…

The nameless black cat is kind of the cast protagonist, plucky and adaptable, rolling with the punches and reversals of their journey while retaining feline curiosity and wonder. He is endearing, resourceful, resilient, and at times comical, and you want to root for him and his survival. This cat grows on you, and he’ll endure…

There’s no violence or death in Flow, unless you count the fish that the cat catches and shares with his fellow travelers. Flow would likely be captivating viewing for any child, and can be a hypnotic, rather zen-like experience for adults as well. There’s no profound or transformative lesson conveyed here, although the values of co-existence, toleration, and cooperation emerge. We could all benefit from more of that in 2025. Recommended for all fans of animation, Flow was formerly shown in theaters, may now be seen on HBO, and it’s good stuff…

NJM’s “Salon” Commercial…

Posted January 22, 2025 by vulpesffb
Categories: advertising, alternative realities, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, commercials, furry, furry commercials, humor, television

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People or furries who go to salons or beauticians seeking a “whole new look” are brave souls. I have worn the same hairstyle for decades, knowing what helps me blend in so I can almost pass for human…

Alpacas are adorable animals; who doesn’t like them? And so it’s easy to relate to this courageous little alpaca in the NJM Insurance commercial who goes to their salon seeking that total makeover. Her hairstylist is up for the challenge,and so demonstrates a variety of different styles on the client…

One hairstyle looks rather EMO; another is a Mohawk. Still a third may be a Mullet. But our customer Alpaca isn’t quite satisfied with any of these possibilities…

So the alpaca’s stylist summons the salon’s master stylist, Gloria. That woman appears in a portal, and in greeting says, “Come to Momma!” The alpaca makes a sound that may be a mixture of fear and excitement. Be careful what you wish for, I guess!

NJM “Target Audience” 2025 Commercial…

Posted January 20, 2025 by vulpesffb
Categories: advertising, alternative realities, animal presence, animal spokepersons, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, commercials, fantasy, furry, furry commercials, television

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A bear is repeatedly ringing the doorbell…a rabbit is knocking on the window…the phone is ringing insistently…windows are popping up on the computer…and a pair of bird legs is struggling to emerge from the fireplace!

We should have known!,” despairs hubby as he grabs an umbrella to jab at the bird legs, and repel the invader!

Now I, for one, have always wanted to seek out the furry mascot army, and join their hellish crusade, so I would embrace the invaders, and go off with them! Just let me grab my fox fursuit. – -My time would have finally arrived, Ahahahaha! 🦊

(What?! – –You think I’d rather watch the Trump coronation?! Not in this life! 😼 )