Peter Pan: Neverland Nightmare

Posted December 12, 2022 by vulpesffb
Categories: Brilliant but twisted, fantasy, furry, horror, movies
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I’ve always felt that there’s been something a bit “off” about the character of Peter Pan. I mean, an ageless boy with elvish ears who can fly without wings, hangs out with “The Lost Boys” on an island called Neverland, and consorts with a fairy called Tinker Bell? Should we call the authorities now, or later?!

Well, the venerable 1911 children’s story by J.M. Barrie has now fallen into the public domain, and is going to get the same creative, horror-styled remake that Winnie the Pooh and Bambi have or will have coming to them. Peter Pan was always somewhat dark and sketchy, even in the original story. I mean, he practically kidnapped Wendy, and had broken into her house on a previous occasion in search of his shadow! Is that trippy, or what?! He almost killed the Darling children by forgetting to give them the pixie dust that conferred the powers of flight…

And don’t get me started on Tinker Bell! Sure, she looks innocent and cherubic, but she got jealous of the attention that Peter Pan was giving to Wendy, so much so that she might have done something. I think that Tink could be a real Prima Donna…

The Lost Boys are kinda interesting too, and very arguably furry. I mean, they are often depicted as in the image below, wearing fursuits, animal costumes to the uninitiated. Not great ones, to be sure, but fursuits nonetheless. According to the source material, the Lost Boys fell out of their prams while their Nannies were looking the other way in English places like Kensington Gardens. If unclaimed for a week, they were spirited off to Neverland to be with Peter Pan. There, they would fight with Peter Pan against pirates like Captain Hook. It was a good life, really, and you got to wear a fursuit. Pirates and a fursuit would have worked for me. Color me envious… *sighs* 🦊

So what can we expect out of the Neverland Nightmare as directed by Rhys Frake-Waterfield? It will be a very dark tale, like the Winnie the Pooh and upcoming Bambi adaptations. You know good ole Captain Hook, who supposedly lost a hand to a crocodile? Well, perhaps Peter Pan just might have cut that appendage off! I do so love “bedtime stories for children you hate… “ 🙀

So while this Neverland Nightmare might give us Peter Pan as a mini-psychopath, things could get really interesting in 2024, when the character of Mickey Mouse will supposedly fall into the public domain. We do live in interesting times, ‘ya know…. and now, I’m wondering if Peter Pan Peanut Butter contains pixie dust. Should we call the FDA? Eating peanut butter has always been a natural high for me, as well as a guilty pleasure. Perhaps unintentionally consuming pixie dust is why I write this blog. And does pixie dust contain actual pixies?- – Urg, gagg! 🦊

Comments: 7 Comments

“Bambi: The Reckoning“ Is Coming!

Posted December 7, 2022 by vulpesffb
Categories: alternative realities, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, fantasy, furry, furry movies, movies
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I have to admit that I am not a great fan of hunting. Perhaps that’s because hunters consider those of my kind varmints, and perhaps it’s because I abhor seeing the spectacle of lifeless deer strapped to cars during hunting season in my state. We all know what hunters did to Bambi’s mother. And I say that payback time is hell…

I have a personal history with the Disney movie, Bambi. It was the first movie that my mother took me to. Think of it, I was five years old, and my own mother takes me to see a stag flick! Is it any wonder that I would grow up to be a furry? But enough of my childhood trauma. With a number of beloved childhood classics now falling into the public domain, they are now subject to revisionist treatment, and what’s coming out is either darkly hilarious or simply horrific, depending on your perspectives.

And so from the folks who brought you Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey, we have upcoming Bambi: The Reckoning! Let the hooves fall where they may, I guess…

Forget the 1942 Disney film with its tale of loss, life, and love..this is an extremely dark retelling of the original 1928 story, with Bambi retooled as a vicious killing machine on rabies. Yes, I…CAN…DIG IT!!!

Now the source material of the Bambi character is a 1928 novel by Felix Salten innocently named Bambi, A Life in the Woods. The original story passed into the public domain in 2022, and so is fair game for a horror movie treatment. The 1942 Disney version is not. Film maker Scott Jeffrey will not be allowed to use any of Disney’s character design for Bambi, but is rather drawing inspiration from a Netflix production called, The Ritual. In it, we will see Bambi’s transformation into a revenge-driven nightmare following the slaughter of his mother by hunters. One can hardly blame the guy…

Production begins in January of 2023, so no trailers are currently available, and all we have is a hint of the new character design. I, for one, will cheer on the exploits of this Rambuck. So bust ‘em up, Bambi! Let the games begin… 🦊

One can hardly do better, however, than this SNL visitation of the same theme. Enjoy!

Comments: 8 Comments

“The Mean One” Grinch Horror Parody…

Posted December 2, 2022 by vulpesffb
Categories: absurdities, anomalies, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, furry, furry horror, holidays, horror, movies
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If you’re tired of annually getting Xmas drummed into you from late October through New Year’s, you just might be in the right mood to appreciate The Mean One, a parody of Dr. Seuss’ How The Grinch Stole Xmas. Tag line: “First he stole Xmas…now he’s back for BLOOD!”

Forget the Grinch being redeemed, this is the Dark Grinch, or as Stephen King might say it, “Full dark, no stars.” This is Krampus as opposed to St. Nicholas, the Grinch as horror movie Xmas slasher.

Forget Scrooge, who got all soft and wimped out on us. This Grinch means business. It seems that he killed little Cindy Lou-Hoo’s mother during the daughter’s encounter with him, and now twenty years later, she’s back like Sarah Conner after the Terminator with an accompanying skill set..

The Grinch always did seem to have horror star potential, but hey, as Kermit the Frog famously noted, “It isn’t easy being green.” There are leavening notes of dark humor in the premise and available trailer footage, because after all this is a parody and satirical in nature. Memorable lines by Cindy Lou-Hoo; “It’s time to roast this beast!,” and “You’re a dead one, Mr. Grinch!”

Just color me green with envy for this dark Grinch, with battle scenes against Santa figures reminiscent of Shapeshifters Anonymous! Cindy’s weaponry includes an illuminated Walking Dead “Negan-esque” bat, and some kind of wonderful candy cane shotgun. So let’s all go on a slay-ride, everyone! 🦊

Comments: 5 Comments

“Break Free” VW Tiguan Commercial…

Posted November 22, 2022 by vulpesffb
Categories: absurdities, advertising, alternative realities, animals, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, commercials, furry, furry commercials, television
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As the movie Lamb showed us, sheep have been, well, shorn of proper respect and attention in the animal kingdom. They have untapped potential as pets and child-surrogates. This is brought to our attention in a recent commercial for Volkswagen’s Tiguan.

So what happens when you allow a wayward sheep into your VW Tiguan, and take him home with you? Well, he or she becomes much like a dog, hanging out the vehicle’s window, and making themselves at home in your home, demanding walks, drinking from the toilet, making a mess when you’re away, and adorably taking a bath while bleating.—Ahh, the many joys of pet-parenting!

Life gets bigger, you see, when you break from the herd. So “make your own kind of music.” Who am I to judge? Just don’t call your new ovine pet Lambchop. They might get the wrong idea…🐑

And a Happy Thanksgiving, y’all! 🦊





Comments: 5 Comments

“The Great Wolves Have Arrived” Commercial…

Posted November 18, 2022 by vulpesffb
Categories: advertising, alternative realities, commercials, fantasy, furry, furry commercials, television
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The Great Wolf Lodge commercials can be somewhat disconcerting. They are enormous wolves, you see, of a size that makes even dire wolves look wimpy. Fortunately they are friendly, and you ride them like oversized horses to the Great Wolves Lodge resorts…

A mother leaves work to find a Great Wolf waiting for her, and so rides him to pick up her son at school, even though the son would be barely a morsel for the wolf should he turn predacious. But not to worry! These wolves are just the iconic mascots for the family indoor water parks, which started in Wisconsin in 1997, and now have 19 locations…

Nothing brings the pack together like a trip to one of their indoor water resorts, so the commercial’s tagline is to “strengthen the pack!” We may all be grateful that these fantasy wolves are both imaginary and quite docile… 🦊

https://fb.watch/gT8kNjTyYx/


Comments: 3 Comments

RIP, Gallagher…

Posted November 15, 2022 by vulpesffb
Categories: absurdities, alternative realities, comedy
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There’s something in the American character that delights in smashing things for fun, which is why I suppose we have demolition derbies. Tapping into the lust for therapeutic wanton destruction was the late iconoclastic comedian Gallagher, whose brilliant if unconventional performance art wrapped observational and prop comedy in a keen sense of the absurd, delivered by a large wooden mallet, the Sledge-O-Matic…

As Steve Martin aptly observed, “Comedy isn’t pretty,” so it was prudent to attend a Gallagher performance wrapped in a plastic rain poncho or at least covered by plastic sheeting if you were sitting in the first several rows of the audience to protect you from the side spray of the mallet mayhem. All kinds of fluid-containing smashable foods (but especially fruit) came under the hammer…

Now what is it about watermelon, anyways, that makes people want to be mean to them? Well, fruit in general tends to be funny, as we can tell from the frequency of banana jokes and the supposed hilarity of slipping on banana peels. Watermelon is just a really big fruit, and it almost begs to be abused, being green and striped and all. Gallagher aside, you can find videos of people seeing how many rubber bands it takes to stretch over a watermelon before it simply explodes. Watermelon rights activists, of course, might take issue with this…

Gallagher showed us how to deal with annoying fruit and other such nuisances. His last performance was in 2014, and he took a lot of fruit with him. His shows could be oddly purgative and therapeutic, kinda like primal scream therapy for comedy. He will forever be memorable, and may he rest In peace… 🍉.

Comments: 3 Comments

The Curse of the Collector…

Posted November 10, 2022 by vulpesffb
Categories: furry, things humans do
Tags: , , , ,

Many people collect stuff, certain stuff, that is. It can be as common as baseball cards, a bit further out like comic books (just of a certain type, of course!), or highly specialized, like those collectors of figurines of pigs, cows, frogs, unicorns, clowns, Santa, or whatever. Some people collect pens, paperweights, matchbook covers, post cards, even electrical insulators. My mother collected antique bottles, much like those pictured above. The bottles in turn collected dust, although they did look pretty on window shelves with light passing through them.

Now collecting things can be considered a hobby, but if it gets out of hand can become an obsession, an addiction, or a form of obsessive-compulsive behavior. At the very least, you can soon wind up with storage problems for your “collection.” If uncontrolled, some collections can take over rooms, or even entire houses…

Now collections represent pet interests that largely are not shared with the general population. Others may regard your collection as “over-the-top” or weird. A collection is more a labor of love than a real financial investment, and their value is a niche market restricted to other collectors of the same thing. Few are those who have financed a college education with their “Beanie Baby” collection…

So if your plushie collection is getting out of hand, it may be time for your “higher self” to ask the collector in you, “Why are you doing this?!,” and break out of the collection cycle. But I’m keeping my foxes, anyways. Maybe I’m just trying to reproduce, I dunno… 🦊

Comments: 7 Comments

“The Warriors;” “Can…You…Dig It?!”

Posted November 2, 2022 by vulpesffb
Categories: Brilliant but twisted, movies, Vintage
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In my twisted little mind, I got Halloween, current sporting events, and the 1979 cult movie “The Warriors” all mixed up, and began thinking, “wouldn’t it be interesting if The World Series was played by teams like the film’s The Baseball Furies? The game would never go nine innings, however, as the teams would just pound each other senseless with baseball bats. It wouldn’t last long, but you’d get your afternoon or evening back…

Now why, you might ask, are we posting about a movie that’s over 40 years old? Simply because the movie remains a kick after all those years, and there’s nothing else quite like it. Besides, it’s fun, and the characters depicted in the movie are too cartoonish to be menacing. Even Ronald Reagan was reputed to have enjoyed this film!

Originally criticized as promoting gang violence, the gangs depicted are too cartoonish to be taken seriously, each with a distinctive look that essentially includes a gang uniform. Have you ever seen a roller-skating gang that wears bib overalls? Well, they’re in here, haunting the subways as “The Punks.”

While there was never a sequel to The Warriors, the film did inspire some video games and comics. So the Warriors did come out to “play-yay.”

So many iconic scenes in The Warriors epic battles to traverse the distance between The Bronx and Coney Island! But it’s probably good that a sequel wasn’t made. The original cast in recreating their subway ride had all grown rather long in the tooth, and I thank them for putting on shirts under their vests now. But I also thank them for this “guilty pleasure”movie fave of mine. So yes, “I…can…DIG IT!” And I’m still digging The Warriors… 🦊

Comments: 4 Comments

Hail, Halloween!

Posted October 31, 2022 by vulpesffb
Categories: alternative realities, furry, furry perspectives
Tags: ,

Awash in Halloween here, and even though I haven’t worn a costume other than my partial fursuit in decades, I still as an adult get excited about Halloween. Now there are those who are already putting up Xmas decorations, but I feel that they should be taken out and maimed…we predators can do that!

Ahh, who can forget the giddy delight of slapping on a cheap store-bought Ben Cooper Halloween costume, and staggering half-blind around your neighborhood in the cold and dark to extort candy from the neighbors? The above leopard model was my last true Halloween costume, kind of a gateway to the furry fandom. I think that another kid just about pulled my leopard tail off, too. Are you not terrified of me?- -RAWR! Fear the cheesy leopard!

Nowadays, I have much better options to wear.- – Err, mask?- – WHAT mask?! I kinda look more like a werefox in this photo, but you know how unruly your fur can be when you first get up in the morning, right? Gotta do some grooming, plus drink that all-important cup of coffee before I scare small children by my appearance. But to you, good readers, I show my true self…

So blessed Halloween, come! I’m much more comfortable in your world than in mine, anyways…and everyday can be Halloween, if you truly believe! 🦊

Comments: 3 Comments

Amazon’s “Red Riding Hood” Ad…

Posted October 28, 2022 by vulpesffb
Categories: advertising, Brilliant but twisted, commercials, fantasy, furry, furry commercials, television
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We seem to be posting a lot about wolves lately, but hey, Halloween is coming, and we gotta run with the pack, so to speak. So much has been written about Little Red Riding Hood that it’s practically a cottage industry, which may be appropriate since Grandma kinda lived in a cottage, don’t ‘ya know?

Well, Little Red here might be little, but she’s kinda hawt as well, and she sure ain’t no fool…no Big Bad Wolf is gonna pull one over on her. Going through those creepy old woods to Grandma’s house, this Little Red (Mikayla Roberts) fears no evil. So when she reaches Grandma’s house, she whips out her cell phone and places an Amazon order, which miraculously arrives almost instantaneously in time for deployment.

The Big Bad Wolf arrives, too…a magnificent, snarling version in white. But when Red deploys the dog toy that she has purchased, Wolfie becomes a good boy, jumping and playing with the toy in total delight! We’ve seen a similar transformation in such films as The Bad Guys, when Mr. Wolf just can’t help wagging his tail when called a good boy. There’s no such thing as a bad boy, really, right?

The actress playing Grandma isn’t exactly an elderly, bedridden-cripple either, but looks to be a pretty hip and vital lady. Well-played update on an old timeless classic, Amazon!

(tip o’ the pen to carycomic…)

Comments: 5 Comments

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