Archive for the ‘strange’ category

Amazing Sea Monkeys!

July 26, 2011

– -If you grew up on comic books as I did, you may remember reading cheesy ads on the back pages and cover for things like, well, X-ray eyeglasses and Sea Monkeys!  The ad presented the sea monkeys as being intelligent mer-people who would serve you as their king, “clown around,” and even “learn tricks for your amusement!”- – What child doesn’t nurture a God-fantasy where a kingdom of adoring and obedient subjects would shout “Hail!,” and appeal for attention and approval whenever they enter their bedroom?  Twilight Zone episodes have been built around this kind of thing, and a locker full of a tiny kingdom was also glimpsed in one of the Men In Black movies.- -Works for me!

This would have been a neat trick indeed, because the “sea monkeys” were in reality not primates but… brine shrimp!  Gullible and naive fool that I was, I actually ordered sea monkeys…twice!  The first time, the tiny crustaceans failed to even hatchThe second time they did hatch, but had an extremely short life span, never living up to my expectations, showing personalities, or considering me royalty…caveat emptor!

Caddy, the Alaskan Nessie?

July 22, 2011

 – – There’s a monster in Alaska…and no, I do not speak of Sarah Palin!  I even dislike the term, “monster,” for its negative connotations.  But in the North Pacific a 2009 video captures a 20- to 30-foot long unknown creature.  The footage, black and white video, was taken by fishermen on a rainy day with (- -what else?) a shaky camera.  


One eyewitness, none less than Andy Hillstrand of the Deadliest Catch reality tv show, describes the creature as a “big, long white thing moving in the water.”  Spray came out of the creature’s head, and the fishermen chased it for twenty minutes.  Described as “definitely not a shark,” the cryptid was unlike anything that the men had seen before.  

This Nessie-like aquatic animal hails from the Cadboro Bay in British Columbia, and is accordingly called “Caddy” for short.  It is further described as having a long neck, a horse-like head, large eyes, and back bumps that stick out of the water.   No newcomer, reports of such a creature have circulated for 200 years.  In 1937, scientists thought that they might have uncovered physical evidence of  Caddy when what was thought to be a sea serpent was found inside the stomach of a whale. 


Alternative identities of the sightings have made mention of the Beluga whale, an oarfish, or a ribbon fish.  In any case, be wary of large, blurry monsters running rampant on the land and seas!  And would someone with a high-definition camera please get out there?!

A Public Service Announcement!

July 18, 2011

 – -Here at Foxsylvania, we value each and every one of our readers.  So if you go to the beach this season, we urge you to be careful!  If invited to a crab bake, first make sure that you are not on the menu.  And as always, the admonition to never attempt to eat anything larger than your refrigerator remains sound advice…

Strange Bedfellows?

July 14, 2011

 – – Foxes and Donald Trump make strange bedfellows, but vulpine Americans were again dragged into the commentary at a White House Correspondents’ Dinner.  In what amounted to a roast of the Donald, Seth Meyers commented that “Donald Trump often appears on Fox, which is ironic because a fox often appears on Donald Trump’s head,” a reference to Mr. Trump’s signature hair style.  It’s certainly no one that I know, and I would not volunteer for the assignment myself unless I were paid most handsomely…

Mr. Trump did not appear amused during the proceedings,  and later referred to the jokes about himself as “inappropriate in certain respects…”

“Legend Quest” Coming on Syfy…

July 12, 2011

 – – For those of you interested in the kind of drek that I am, heaven help you…and you may want to give the upcoming Legend Quest series a look as it begins on the Syfy channel this July 13th at 10 P.M.  Billed as an action-adventure series, this Quest will follow Ashley Cowie, an archaeological explorer and expert in ancient symbols as he and his team travel the world in search of some of history’s greatest and most mysterious artifacts.  All of the elusive items are believed to hold hidden powers and mystical significance for ancient and modern cultures, and will include such items as King Arthur’s sword Excaliber and the Holy Grail.

Up first is a twin billing with the Ark of the Covenant and a Mayan Talking Cross featured…

The State Farm Falcon Commercial…

July 6, 2011

– – Insurance companies seem to be competing these days over who can produce the most off-the-wall commercials, and State Farm is in the running with an ad featuring a couple walking down a surreal street populated by a number of people, many of whom are carrying strange objects such as a gumball machine or a stuffed moose head.- -Well, it seems our man on the street has been saved sufficient money that he’s invested it in a falcon, which we see perched on his gloved arm.  Others beholding the falcon are envious, and make comments to the effect, “Aww, I could have got a falcon!”  The couple call their State Farm agent and thank him for buying them a falcon, but he denies having done that, maintaining that he simply saves people money, and that what they do with it is their concern.

Despite the fact that the peregrine falcon is magnificent, it should be pointed out that they are classified as raptors, the possession of which generally requires state and federal permits that can take years to acquire as well as specialized knowledge about their care and handling.  You can’t just go out and buy one at Walmart, no matter how much money you’ve saved! 

“Pudding Face” Jello Commercial…

June 23, 2011

 – – If ever human beings were in screaming need of plastic surgery, it is the “pudding face” people pictured in Jell-O commercials.  The facial images presented are disturbingly creepy, reminding me somewhat of Jack Nicholson’s portrayal of The Joker; the commercials don’t inspire me to go out and buy Jello (“Gee!– -I wanna look like that!”), but rather to collect money to buy the poor afflicted souls with the condition prompt surgical correction (“Give generously, or “Pudding Face” is forever!”).  An army of zombies with “Pudding Face” would be too horrible to imagine.   It’s one of those things so weird and repugnant that you wish you could look away, but you somehow can’t help but stare at the image, as if it were a decayed mummy…

Strange Corpse Identified

June 4, 2011

 – – Something weird and disgusting that washed ashore near New York’s famous Brooklyn Bridge on May 21st has at last been identified…

…”What?,” you’re probably saying, “Did Fat Tony forget to weigh down a body again?!”

Not at all!  The over six-foot long body that was pulled from the East River in New York City has been identified by experts from the Riverhead Foundation for Marine Research and Preservation as a bony-plated Atlantic sturgeon...

…informers and other rats, however, will continue to sleep with the fishes!

– -The Fiendish Plot of Chuck E. Cheese?

May 19, 2011

 – – from our ridiculous furry lawsuits dept:   I’ve always found there to be something vaguely disquieting about Chuck E. Cheese; maybe it’s in the eyes or the teeth, or maybe it’s just the idea of a giant rodent…is he allowed in the food preparation areas?  I’m not sure I’m comfortable with that… anyways, according to one mother suing the restaurant chain for a cool five million, Chuck E. has a darker agenda; promoting gambling addiction!

Yes, according to a San Diego mother of two, many of the games at Chuck E. Cheese locations are actually illegal gambling devices because they take 25 cent tokens which dependent on the score dispense tickets that can be redeemed for prizes.  The higher the score, the greater the number of tickets dispensed, and the better the prize.  The games often take only a few seconds to play, and some of them feature a roulette-type wheel.   Pretty soon, you’ve got a serious habit, and are betting away the lunch money…it’s a slippery slope, right?

Chuck E. Cheese attorneys are moving for a dismissal of the lawsuit on the basis that the games are legal and that the California legislature never intended to make operating a children’s arcade game a criminal act…and at least one gambling expert sees a difference between a game that awards tickets and one that pays out in cold hard cash.  

Hail the Mighty Thor!

May 10, 2011

 – – There’s something strangely cool about dressing up in Viking gear and then going to dine in a fine restaurant or attending the opening of Thor so attired;  besides, who am I to judge, since I am, after all, a furry…whatever floats your boat!

Anyways, the Norse Hollywood Dining Vikings did exactly that, attending a screening of the movie in Glendale, California in a variety of chain mail and horned helmet regalia.  They usually do a restaurant gig, but a little change kinda keeps things fresh, and besides, what could be more appropriate?  Tony Swatton, de facto leader of the Dining Vikings, is a master blacksmith who designs custom-made weapons, armor, and props for television and film, including Thor.

So what if they look like they just made a Capital One credit card commercial?–I say may their cup of mead be always full!