Archive for the ‘furry’ category

Fraudulent Cryptids

August 26, 2008

–Hoaxes regarding hidden or cryptic animals did not start with Bigfoot. Master showman P.T. Barnum in the 19th century as well as Robert Ripley in the 20th were well known for exhibiting sewn-together specimens such as the Fiji Mermaid (depicted), the mummified upper body of a monkey sewn onto the bottom half of a fish!  To some of the more naive and gullible people of earlier generations, such creations of a taxidermist were proof enough of a fantastic or mythological creature.

This isn’t exactly the kind of mermaid likely to arouse anyone’s romantic fantasy, however, unless you’re into very dead things and have a stronger stomach than I do…

Changes…

August 25, 2008

–Many thanks to my awesome readers for enabling this blog to exceed 10,000 hits! In order to encourage posting of comments, readers will no longer be required to leave a username and e-mail address in case you wish to remain anonymous.  “Nasties,” however, will not be tolerated, and the posting of vulgar or defamatory comments will get you blocked.  Additionally, you would be hunted down and slapped with a fish about the head and face.  Severe, I realize, but we must police our ranks.  If this doesn’t work out, I’ll revert back to requiring a name and e-mail address (unpublished) with posts.

I am also considering an occasional private posting in order that topics may occasionally leave the “PG” realm, and to better facilitate communication between my furry self and readers. –What do y’all think?

Furry Spirituality?

August 25, 2008

–Since this is Sunday, we bring you a little furry spirituality from a most ancient source.  We are not going churchy on you, but a love offering will be taken after the message.–Ahem!

“Who sees his Lord

Within every creature,

Deathless dwelling

Amidst the mortal:

That man sees truly.”

— The Bhagavad Gita

This concludes our service.  You are all cordially invited to the Furlowship Hall for mud wrasslin’ and some down-home country cookin’, served up furry family-style…     😉

Animal Personalities

August 23, 2008

–Those who do not share their lives with animals are frequently surprised by those of us who do so with more than one of a single species; why should anyone choose to have, for example, more than one cat?  The answer is that no two animals are alike, and each has a distinctive and discernible personality; they are not interchangeable, cookie-cutter life forms. Animal behavior also reflects the individual’s unique personality.  Multiple animals additionally interact with one another in ways that are frequently entertaining.  I live with three very different cats and one dog, each of which has distinctive traits and attributes.  Four is my personal limit, while for others it might be even more; this does not, however, justify acquisition of dozens of pets, at which point the person might be termed a “collector.”

I don’t really like to think of myself as a pet “owner,” but rather a caretaker or steward of them.  One does not or should not “own” another living creature, but rather share life and space with our fellow life forms, benefitting from the mutual association.

Boneless Horror!

August 22, 2008

Extremely large invertebrates seldom seem to get big press, but the giant squid and giant octopus are both out there, and the latter was recently featured on a MonsterQuest episode.  Mythological and undocumented reports exist of such creatures, with giant squids and octopuses hopelessly intermingled and jointly referred to as kraken. Such giant creatures are in some legends regarded as forms taken by shape shifting vengeful sea gods.

In 1896 remains of an extremely large specimen were washed up off St. Augustine, Florida (see picture).  It didn’t have much of a head left and only the stumps of tentacles, but the science of the day estimated that the arm span of the creature may have reached 100 feet.  The largest octopus documented is the North Pacific giant octopus, with a 14 foot arm span.  Off the Bahamas Islands, however, is reputed to exist an octopus variant called the lusca, with a 75 to 200 foot span.

The octopus is a rather intelligent invertebrate, and can figure out how to open jars to get food within them.  Having a boneless body makes the octopus able to squeeze through remarkably small openings to hide or prey.  The fact that the body of an invertebrate such as the squid or octopus decays rapidly and can stretch after death makes post-mortem estimates of their size extremely difficult.

Bigfoot Busted!

August 20, 2008

–Sigh…just days after a much ballyhooed news conference was held in California to proclaim that the remains of a creature found in the North Georgia mountains was the legendary man-ape, the “carcass” when thawed out was discovered to be a rubber gorilla outfit! The two individuals aiming to prove the existence of Bigfoot paid an undisclosed sum of money for the ice-enclosed rubber suit.

While this fraud fell apart faster than I thought it would, we who believe know only one thing:  The truth is out there! Perhaps we someday will have a real cryptid discovery to celebrate…it’s happened before!

Whale Mistakes Boat for Mother!

August 18, 2008

–A baby humpback whale estimated to be about one to two months old evidently mistook a 36-foot yacht for its mother!  The young whale swam around the sailboat several times off Australia, nuzzling it and attempting to suckle.  The boat eventually lured the baby whale back to open water…poor confused kid!

Aquaman?

August 16, 2008

–Olympian swimmer Michael Phelps has so far won seven gold medals, tying the record of Mark Spitz and being referred to in some circles as Aquaman…

…well, can Michael Phelps summon whales or communicate telepathetically with fish like Aquaman could?–Can he throw balls of water that impact with powerful concussive force?–Does he have a pet octopus or did he lose his hand?–I think NOT!Hail  Atlantis! 😉

The Georgia Ape

August 16, 2008

–Well, the Montauk Monster’s missing, but we’ve got the Chupacabra video, and supposedly a dead Bigfoot.–Not bad times for cryptozoology or hucksterism, depending on what you believe!

Reporters were not impressed by the Bigfoot presentation of the two men claiming that it was the genuine article, as they did not produce a body nor disclose its location.  One of the two was also involved in a previous Bigfoot hoax in 2005, when he was going to do a “Pay-Per-View” thing.  They did produce a picture, which looked like a Chewbacca costume with a few guts sprinkled on for good measure.  Of three DNA samples produced, one was human, the second possum, and the third untestable.   Without rigorous and independent scientific investigation, conclusions will be tainted at best.

This will take months to spin out, but I would look for the claims to start to unravel.  I’d be thrilled, however, if this was the real deal…but DNA samples may prove that this was the offspring of John Edwards...

Bigfoot Found?

August 14, 2008

–This could be major, or just another hoax.  Two Georgia residents who lead bigfoot-tracking expeditions are claiming to have found the body of a bigfoot in the woods of northern Georgia.  The men, one a police officer and the other a former correctional officer, claim they have a body, photos, and DNA evidence of the 7-feet tall, 500 lb. mammal.  On August 15th, the men will reveal their findings at a news conference in Palo Alto, where they intend to present DNA evidence that will prove that the carcass is that of a bigfoot. The creature has a 16-3/4 inch footprint and a palm to fingertip span of 11-1/2 inches. The presenters are not stating where the body was found or where it is now.

Will this be the find of a lifetime, or just another disappointment?–I want to believe!