– – It’s cheesy, and proud of it…Wolfman Mac’s Chiller Drive-In, that is! Many of us when young grew up with regional variations of the “Chiller Theater” concept, a show usually on Saturday night which presented horror or science fiction films from the 1950’s or 1960’s, such “The Crawling Eye” or “Attack of the 50-Foot Woman.” Armed with a freshly-made batch of Jiffy Pop popcorn, I’d settle down before the tube for two hours of kiddie bliss. Horror and sci fi films of that era weren’t terribly graphic and the special effects were laughable by today’s standards, but they were great stuff to a ten-year-old! Some of those shows included hosts, such as Elvira, Mistress of the Dark.
Wolfman Mac is cut from the same cloth as such hosts, but he’s lower budget still. He’s a werewolf who runs a dilapidated drive-in located in the fictional town of Hauntington Heights that shows B-grade horror movies you’ll marvel were ever made. The Wolfman’s sidekick is an wisecracking, extremely fake-looking plastic skeleton called Boney Bob. There are over a dozen cast members that include TORG the robot, a guy in a cardboard box costume; and the nutty Professor M. Balmer. During breaks from the movie, they perform skits that mirror or parody the action from the flick. It’s not Shakespeare, but is great late-night fun!
Wolfman Mac is in real life Mac Kelly, who as a kid loved old horror films, werewolves, and all things Halloween. Originally a local show, it’s now carried nationally by the Retro Television Network, but has retained all of its high camp charm…
– – Litter Genie is a cat litter disposal system, not to be confused with Little Genie, the Elton John song. Anyways, Litter Genie features a spokes-cat named Walter, who is a bit of a singing sensation himself. Walter has actually cut some music videos, one of which is called I Haz a Pie Row Tek Nik, performing as Walter and the Awful Pawfuls. My favorite Walter video, however, is a flashback to the psychedelic sixties, with the fab feline performing I Haz a Catnip in Mah Head with Walter and the Wizards. This is from an album called, Litter Trippin’.
– – To me, they looked more demonic than simian, but that was perhaps the point. The Flying Monkeys on the Syfy movie of the same name which aired on March 9th were evil, shape-shifting monsters, pets by day and killers by night. Unrelated but with a number of shameless nods to the Oz saga (the movie’s even set in Gale, Kansas), these are nasty, flying beasties that swoop down to shred and tear…something to “get you, my pretty, and your little dog, too!” – -Shameless but captivating low-budget entertainment, and as much fun as a barrel of flying monkeys! Just click your heels together while repeating, “There’s no place like the Syfy Channel!
– – ‘Toon bears are less common and often forgettable, so I’m glad to find something different. Both Brickleberry and Yogi Bear are set in fictitious national parks, and include the relationships between bears and park rangers, but the resemblance ends there! The Comedy Channel show Brickleberry is anything but clean and wholesome, and the center of focus for me is an anthropomorphic grizzly bear cub named Malloy who is crude, politically incorrect, narcissistic, has a superiority complex, and delights in putting down and messing with the park rangers, none of whom are normal individuals! His parents unintentionally slain, Malloy has been raised by humans, and excessive indulgence in video games and junk food have turned him into something dark and sardonic that nature never intended; this is Baby Stewie from Family Guy in a fursuit! Yogi Bear and Boo-Boo wouldn’t last five minutes with him, and Brickleberry is anything but Jellystone Park!
– – We’ve all heard of pulled pork, but Geico takes Maxwell the pig to a different level of meaning with this when a police officer pulls his blue convertible over in a recent commercial. Maxwell hands the officer his license and registration as well as his Geico digital insurance card. Now it turns out that the cop doesn’t have a problem with the fact that a pig is driving, but rather the fact that Maxwell’s tail light is out. “Fix it!,” orders the cop before walking away.
– – If Skynet designed greyhounds, they would probably look something like these beauties; starkly striking robotic greyhound creatures who are racing for their lives in a Mad Max styled desert wasteland. Both a music video and a commercial, the video features the music of electronic dance trio Swedish House Mafia, who appropriately perform their track, Greyhound, while electronically transformed in the video to robotic dogs who chase a floating orb. Bizarrely costumed guests watch the greyhounds go through their paces while drinking Absolut cocktails served by a waiter in a mask with animal styling.
– – Thanks to the Super Bowl commercial for Wheat Thins, we now know what the Big Foot secret agenda is; they want to steal into our kitchens under cover of darkness, and abscond with our snack crackers! The only defense against this tactic is to sit in the blackness ourselves with night vision goggles, and be prepared to grapple with them! It’s the manly and right thing to do…
– – Goats tend to be slighted, and really don’t get the attention that they deserve. One crosses a goat at their own peril…or some might infer from the “Goat 4 Sale” commercial by Doritos featured on the Super Bowl.
– – It’s been said that were videos about cats and pornography eliminated from the internet, there would be little left! While appealing and loved by many, cats can at times also show a darker side. Here we see the lap cat of Bond arch-villain Blofeld. Cats have demonstrated abilities to be efficient predators, as has been recently noted by research conducted by the Smithsonian Conservation Biology Institute and the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service published on Tuesday in the journal Nature Communications.
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