NJM Insurance had earlier in a commercial shown us a tourist tram pulled aside in a backlot to observe a mascot commercial being filmed that involved costumed shark mascots, and now we are shown the same busy backlot where a number of mascot commercials are being filmed, necessitating a kind of traffic control function to stop pedestrians in order to allow mascots to pass…
…and a glorious and diversified mascot parade it is, too! There’s some kind of roller skating flamingo, what appears to be a catfish, my favorite, a fox, and a number of others. Themascot handler shouts corrections and admonishments to the mascots as they pass, such as “missing a fin,” and “get to it, fox!” Normally, we foxes would consider such comments rude, but work is hard to find…
The NJM commercial of course is to proclaim the fact that their company does not have mascots or jingles, but just great insurance…
Rabbits sure can multiply; employ algebra and calculus, not so much. And so when Papa Rabbit enters his home, he finds it jam-packed with his progeny, all moving about and enjoying internet-dependent activities like gaming, streaming, and on-line learning. Papa Rabbit desperately needs to run an internet search on “birth control…”
When Papa Rabbit manages to weave his way around the legion of offspring and trudge upstairs to see his missus, she is knitting tiny infant outfits, a universally-understood sign that she has a “bun (pun intended) in the oven,” three actually…but then, Momma Rabbit flips the top row to show that she has prepared six tiny outfits!
Papa Rabbitis devastated, his eyes big as saucers and his jaw dropping! Guess it’s too late for a vasectomy now. Good thing that Xfinity will lock in his internet price for five years, because he’ll need every bit of money he can muster to maintain his growing brood…
The commercial is rendered in the stop-motion style of Fantastic Mr. Fox, which lends a certain charm.Otherads in the Imagine That series have featured the Frankenstein monster and Jeff Goldblum.Thesong playing is The Green Grass Grows All Around, performed here by Louis Jordan…
I find screaming goats, at the very least, disconcerting. Although such goats are not actually screaming but bleating or calling, their vocalizations are loud, and can sound eerily like a human in extreme duress, say being tortured.– -Why, you might ask, do some goats make these verbalizations? It could be a sign of hunger, distress, or simply an attention-getting device. It sure would get my attention and displeasure, pronto.You could build a low-budget horror movie around these goats!
In a recent Allstate commercial Check First Neighbors, a couple is celebrating their first night in a new house. They hear a muffled shriek in the background. Looking out the window, they find goats clamoring all over their neighbor’s yard! Then the goats become invasive…one even loudly screams at the new occupants from within their house! Why is the goat shrieking?- -Possibly he wants fed, or more grain in his diet; the scream is certainly an attention-getting device. Goat farmers have noted that the goatssometimes will keep up this behavior for half to three-quarters of an hour before giving up…
You see, our new homeowners had neglected to check out the neighbors before buying the property, and you really should do that. Allstate can then save you hundreds on your homeowners insurance…
About the only thing I can think of that might be worse than living next door to a herd of screaming goats would be residing next to a family of howler monkeys…
A mini-dinosaur might make an interesting if cumbersome pet, and of course they’d have to be well-behaved! With a name like Walter, this diminutive T-rex sounds rather domesticated, but he’s still awfully big for human environments, and so can barely fit into things like elevators and taxicabs…
Asthma medications haven’t changed much in fifty years, you see, so the albuterol inhaler is really a dinosaur of sorts. Walter is then a metaphor representing older, outdated “rescue” albuterol-only inhalers for asthmathat primarily treat symptoms of asthma without addressing underlying inflammation. Airsupra is a “dual-action” inhaler that treats both symptoms and underlying inflammation of asthma…
So Walter is awkward and outdated on tandem bikes, being, after all, a dinosaur. We’re unlikely to see him in any of the Jurassic Park movies either, which is a pity because he does appear genial and is cute…
If you’ve noticed, we now see Earl the Cat from the Smalls cat food commercials mostly as a simplistic two-dimensional line drawing these days. Rarely do we see the wonderful Earl as the guy in the fursuit anymore…
This is a shame, because fursuit Earl is far more captivating than line drawing Earl. He was so good and compelling that his presence probably distracted from the cat food product itself.There are other examples where a commercial character was so magnetic that they apparently distracted from the product being advertised, and so were sadly phased out. I just think that we had yet to see the best of fursuit Earl…
ConsiderLactose Cow in the Lactaid commercials, aka “the Milk that Messes With You.” Mess with us she did, but was incredibly comic and memorable in doing so, far outshining the demure blue-and-white Lactaid Cow. I for one deeply miss seeing these commercial stars, and since I am powerless to return them, will leave you with a few memories of the best of The Milk That Messes With You. Characters gone but not forgotten…*sighs*
In this IKEA TV spot, a family is called by “Uncle Ricky” to be reminded that they had offered to host a barbecue next weekend, a fact that they had obviously forgotten. Looking out at their backyard to check the status of their yard, they find that nature has quite taken it over, for there are raccoons, opossums, rabbits, and even a background deer cavorting around!
“What are those rabbits doing,” questions the son. While we are not shown the act, one suspects from their positioning that the rabbits are “doing what comes naturally,” and giving junior a free lesson on reproduction. Mom and Dad look at one another, and converse, “IKEA?- –IKEA!”
So when Uncle Ricky arrives, the family’s backyard has been transformed by the purchase of a large table and chair set from IKEA for a proper barbecue, and even the animals appear happy…
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Little Caesars has brought back it’s Pretzel Crust pizza touted in this commercial, and it’s all that office anthropomorphic sheep worker Brian can think about…so much so, in fact, that he keeps bleating that “It’s BAAAAACK,” at one point pounding his hooves on his computer keyboard to bring up the BAAAAACK legend on his computer screen…
While bosses would like to have sheepish, compliant workers, I doubt that those hooves of worker Brian would be capable of hitting individual keys on the keyboard.Brian does, however, sport good office attire, so we can perhaps forgive him if he acts a bit sheepish…
People or furries who go to salons or beauticians seeking a “whole new look” are brave souls. I have worn the same hairstyle for decades, knowing what helps me blend in so I can almost pass for human…
Alpacas are adorable animals; who doesn’t like them? And so it’s easy to relate to this courageous little alpaca in the NJM Insurance commercial who goes to their salon seeking that total makeover. Her hairstylist is up for the challenge,and so demonstrates a variety of different styles on the client…
One hairstyle looks rather EMO; another is a Mohawk. Still a third may be a Mullet. But our customer Alpaca isn’t quite satisfied with any of these possibilities…
Sothe alpaca’s stylist summons the salon’s master stylist, Gloria. That woman appears in a portal, and in greeting says, “Come to Momma!” The alpaca makes a sound that may be a mixture of fear and excitement. Be careful what you wish for, I guess!
“Whatcha doin’,” inquires hubby of his wife in this recent NJM Insurance commercial. “Just shopping for new car insurance,” she chirps while on the internet. That’s all it takes, apparently, because then the Mascots come!
A bear is repeatedly ringing the doorbell…a rabbit is knocking on the window…the phone is ringing insistently…windows are popping up on the computer…and a pair of bird legs is struggling to emerge from the fireplace!
“We should have known!,” despairs hubby as he grabs an umbrella to jab at the bird legs, and repel the invader!
Now I, for one, have always wanted to seek out the furry mascot army, and join their hellish crusade, so I would embrace the invaders, and go off with them! Just let me grab my fox fursuit. – -My time would have finally arrived, Ahahahaha! 🦊
(What?! – –You think I’d rather watch the Trump coronation?! Not in this life! 😼 )
In a government public service promo, we are taken to a taxidermy shop where I suspect that the proprietor has not quite mastered his art, because the taxidermied animals there look creepy, more like road kill than a recreation of life…
These poor specimens present that vape smoke can contain formaldehyde, the same chemical used to preserve dead animals like themselves…badly! The talking animals banter among themselves, struggling to pronounce the word formaldehyde…
The promo is darkly comic and even disturbing, but conveys a serious message that vaping fumes are not simply harmless water vapor, but can contain toxic and damaging chemicals that will be conveyed to the lungs…and that’s a thought even more unnatural than these badly-preserved animals!
Now this is toxic taxidermy, and I feel sorry for my poor cousins for whom death was not the final insult!
FOXSYLVANIA 
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