Archive for January 2023

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The NJM Narwhal and Nemesis “Carl…”

January 26, 2023

For a company that boasts of “no talking animals or irritating jingles,” the NJM insurance company has given us some great ones. And what’s wrong with talking animals, I want to know? Sirs, I am one! 🦊

One of the first great talking animals that NJM has given us was this full-suited narwhal. Now it’s not everyday that you run across someone in a narwhal fursuit, and this fellow has the best intentions…he just wants to audition to be the NJM mascot, and gets zero tolerance. The poor fellow seems to have a flaccid horn…don’t they have a drug now that you can take for that? No wait, that’s the infamous “bent carrot” commercials for Peyronie’s Disease, thanks to which we’ll never see misshaped carrots the same way again…aargh! 😾

Anyways, the NJM receptionist sics laid-back security guard Carl on the poor would-be narwhal mascot to usher him from the building. Wearing a full-body narwhal costume isn’t all peaches and crèam; it’s easy to fall on stairs, for example…

Now Carl the Security Guard played by Scott Watson ordinarily has a boring and uneventful job, except when blue narwhals show up. He is unflappable, and plays the role to deadpan perfection, even in this surreal circumstance. He is the perfect foil to the irrepressible narwhal, ebulliently played by Jared M. Smith.

The narwhal is not easily discouraged or defeated, and in subsequent commercials tries to re-enter the premises, including by vehicle again to be thwarted by Carl. “I’m outta here!,” blusters the narwhal, only to find that his flippers make poor appendages for operating a car…

So catch the delightful rivalry of Narwhal vs. Carl, which to me is vaguely reminiscent of Charlie the Tuna trying to get Starkist to take him in those old commercials. This might be a great live action cartoon…

And now for the first time ever, we bring you the fox-narwhal hybrid. Yes, I think I could get into that character! Please note that my horn isn’t floppy or bent. Everyone sing now: “Fox-narwhals, fox-narwhals, swimming in the ocean, and causing a commotion, because they are so awesome…“

Categories: absurdities, advertising, alternative realities, animal spokepersons, anthropomorphic, aquatic, Brilliant but twisted, commercials, furry, furry commercials, humor, television
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Liberty Mutual’s “Catchy Tune…Squirrel Squad”

January 24, 2023

If you’ve ever been to a Chuck E. Cheese place or visited the Orlando, Florida area in times past, you’ve probably had contact with those animatronic animal robot bands that may have been high tech at one time, but now are more cornball and laughable than anything else. Liberty Mutual recreates the look and feel of those vintage robot animal bands in their recent commercial, “Catchy Tune.” You see, if a catchy tune can be implanted as an ear worm in your head, perhaps you’ll be more likely to think of the company or product it promotes should you want to buy something as mundane and unexciting as insurance.

What’s more, it appears that this animatronic Squirrel Squad band exists on a miniature stage neatly squirreled away (pun intended) right inside a wall of your very own house, ready to be summoned forth at any time! That would get old in what…a minute or two? You might even say that this Squirrel Squad would drive you nuts! What would be more appropriate, actually? But I kinda like the drummer…and hey, these guys work for peanuts! I demand pizza or some Chinese noms…. 🦊



(What?…I’ve played a few gigs…)

Categories: absurdities, advertising, alternative realities, anthropomorphic, commercials, furry, furry commercials, television
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“Catering by Linda” Progressive Commercial…

January 20, 2023

The world of anthropomorphic singing fruits and vegetables is one that I usually don’t visit, being that it’s too “trippy” for me if not outright nightmare fuel. One wonders exactly what spices small business owner “Linda” is adding to her stewpot, but I’ll leave that to the authorities to determine…

Anyways, as singing carrots, onions, and other ingredients tunefully offer themselves and others of their kind to Linda’s blade for slicing and dicing, we are wondering if we’re witnessing renegade Muppets, a rejected episode of Pee-Wee’s Playhouse, or perhaps some kind of off-beat horror movie. An assistant then advises Linda that their delivery van has been sideswiped, and she must inspect the loss of mirror there suffered, and then call Progressive, through which she has small business insurance…

It’s not long thereafter that Linda can return to “living the dream,” unless you are one of her ingredients, I suppose, who must then be living a nightmare… 🦊

Categories: absurdities, advertising, alternative realities, Brilliant but twisted, commercials, television
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NJM’s “The Breakup” Walrus…

January 16, 2023

I find anthropomorphic walruses rather unsettling, although I’ve seen some portly balding dudes with brushy mustaches who rather resembled walruses; think Wilford Brimley! NJM has brought us some rather outstanding anthropomorphic animals in the past, including a standout ferret. He was a winner, whereas this guy is just disturbing…

In the commercial, the lady announces to her walrus dinner-date who symbolizes her former insurance company that she is breaking up with him, and going with NJM, a company that the walrus notes does not even have a mascot. The walrus is disturbed, and leaves in a huff, announcing that he is not then paying for dinner! The lady says that this is fine, as she’s saving money with NJM. The walrus waddles off in a huff, leaving us to notice the amazing details in his costume, flippers and all. I just think that the commercial could have gotten more into some walrus behaviors, like having him throw down an entire raw fish for dinner.

It’s important to remember that no actual walruses feelings were hurt in the making of this commercial.- – Goo goo goo joob!

Categories: absurdities, advertising, alternative realities, animal spokepersons, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, commercials, furry, furry commercials, television
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Shape-shifting in ‘Toons, Circa 1930…

January 4, 2023

It’s easy to think that the notion of shape-shifting from human to animal or animal to human form is a relatively modern notion, whereas references to it can be found dating across cultures from hundreds to thousands of years ago. To limit our discussion of shape-shifting, we’re just going to consider one early example of it occurring in the cartoon world…

Now the character of Betty Boop began as kind of an anthropomorphic French poodle who first appeared in Dizzy Dishes crafted by animation pioneer Max Fleisher. She was the girlfriend of Bimbo, a mischievous, trouble-making dog (below)…

Yes, I still like this guy, echoes of whom reverberated in 1960’s counter-culture cartoon art such as that created by Robert Crumb and others. Yet it was Betty who the viewing public latched onto, and within a year, her long dog ears had morphed into earrings, and her black dog nose had become tiny and human. Moreover, the evolved Betty was hawt, a caricature of a 1920’s flapper girl, and…gasp…a sexual woman!

Consider how female cartoon characters were commonly portrayed at the time, for example, Disney’s Minnie Mouse. It’s hard to imagine anyone being turned on by Minnie, including Mickey. But Betty had it all going on, although her features were described as neotenous, with the enlarged head, big eyes, and small limbs reminiscent of those of an infant or young child. Betty’s catch phrase of Boop-oop-a-doop was also evocative of infantile “baby talk.” So hot was Betty that she had to be toned down a bit for the general viewing audience that included children…

It must last be considered who was the real life model in styling for the cartoon character of Betty Boop. While several people have claimed credit for that honor and even litigated for the recognition, credit should actually be given to an African-American woman by the name of “Baby” Esther Jones, who died in 1984, and was an accomplished singer and dancer in Harlem…

So to paraphrase an old ditty, “Don’t worry if you work hard, and your rewards are few. Remember that Betty Boop was once a dog like you!”

Categories: alternative realities, anthropomorphic, cartoons, furry, furry art, retro cool
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