Archive for November 2014

When Turkeys Attack!

November 27, 2014

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The Destination America channel treated us to some strange, tongue-in-cheek fare the evening before Thanksgiving with a special styled somewhat like numerous others airing on that network, and called “When Turkeys Attack!”  The show used home video footage depicting wild turkeys chasing children, grandmothers, and grown men; one chased and kept up with a bicyclist for a short distance, while others attacked mail delivery vehicles in a territorial frenzy.

Now wild turkeys should be distinguished from domesticated turkeys genetically engineered to be walking hunks of meat; these are the descendants of theropods, a carnivorous dinosaur.  A wild tom turkey can stand about waist high on a human, and can drop kick you in the head.  This could be a bad encounter as the males have razor sharp spurs on the back of their legs that are 1-1/2″ – 2″ long.  They can flog you with their wings.  Turkeys will try to strike at your head, have acute hearing, and can read subtle behavior rather well.

How then does one defend against a wild turkey attack?  It was suggested that you don’t run and flee from them, but rather try to put a physical object between yourself and the offending turkey.  Don’t try to fend one off with a flipped jacket, which they may interpret as an invitation to attack. Cover your head, and try to kick at them.  In the words of one expert, “Some turkeys are territorial, some defend their women, some are just crazy!”  

Giants, or Big Hoax?

November 23, 2014

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There’s always been interest in giants, and we’re not referring to sports teams here! A History Channel series, Search for the Lost Giants: Unraveling the Mystery (S1/Ep01) investigates the myths and legends about giants that exist in every culture.

Leading the search are an unlikely duo, Jim and Bill Vieira, two brothers and stone masons from a Massachusetts town. The scrapbook of George Sheldon, a local historian, had clippings about the findings of “giant” remains, with about 1,400 – 1,500 reports supposedly in existence. One 1895 report spurring their investigation detailed the discovery of a skeleton supposedly 8′ tall that boasted a double row of teeth. Their investigation then went to the town of Deerfield, Massachusetts where the use of ground penetrating radar found impressions of a flat rectangle 12′ long that they felt might have been a burial site. As the site was protected, excavation of it was not possible.

In the nearby town of Goshen, Massachusetts there was, however, an underground tunnel 15′ deep that had received some prior study in 1980 with speculation made that it might have been a burial chamber for the ruler of a race of giants. The tunnel was covered by a 6,000 lb. rock sitting atop a 6″ thick rock slab, and nearby was an inscription in stone later determined to be in Latin. Removing the obstructing stone and rock slab, the team penetrated the tunnel to a distance of sixty feet beyond which further penetration was impossible due to a cave-in at that juncture.

Feeling that a concealed burial chamber resided beyond that point, the investigators brought in a core drill to penetrate beyond a “zipper” in the stone wall which suggested that such a secret chamber might exist beyond that point. The drill penetrated to a depth of 11′, bringing up sand from that depth which might have been conducive to the preservation of a burial. Beyond this, there was no hard evidence and no remains were produced.

At one point in the hour-long show, the amateur investigators consulted with a paleoanthropologist who termed it unlikely that giants existed in the absence of physical evidence. If a race of giants did exist, the question abides, where are the bones? Rather far-fetched explanations presented as possibilities included the thoughts that such remains were either deliberately concealed by scientists, or quietly repatriated in North America to native Americans. There are more unanswered than answered questions here, but it will be interesting to see in what additional directions this show goes…

 

 

Gumby & Pokey “Honda Days” Commercial…

November 18, 2014

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Gumby and his equine sidekick, Pokey, are again going through a renaissance of sorts, with revivals planned in some child television venues by the end of the year, and a Honda commercial currently airing the duo, who are shown rappeling down the dashboard of a Civic and marveling at its features.  The little green clay guy has held up well over the years, and is as agile and chipper as always. Despite having hooves, Pokey can descend a rope surprisingly well.

Other “Honda Days” spots feature additional classic characters from days gone by, including “Skeletor” from the “Masters of the Universe” series, complete with attitude…

Gecko’ s “Really Literal” Genie…

November 9, 2014

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Two women begin this Geico commercial eating outside with the usual conversation about how spending 15 minutes with Geico can save you 15% on your car insurance.  “Everyone knows that!,” dismisses one woman.  “Well, did you know that some genies can be really literal?,” retorts the other.

Cut to a mock-sitcom called, “Genie and Me,” complete with laugh track.  A man is unpacking boxes, and comes upon a brass lamp, which he polishes. — Poof!  A genie appears, who has a wonderfully disaffected, almost bored expression.  His master is granted a wish, and greedily if predictably wishes for a million bucks.  The genie gestures, and the house and grounds are suddenly populated with a million bucks…the four-legged, antlered variety!  Be careful what you wish for, as it is said…

…there are other “Genie and Me” episodes available for viewing, all in the style of a 1950’s – 1960’s sitcom, complete with hokey humor.  In one, the mother of the genie’ s master mistakes the magical lamp for a gravy boat.  “Good gravy!,” comments the genie, who is wonderful to watch.  It’s fake television, but still better tongue-in-cheek viewing than much of the drek actually airing on the tube…Ray, Genie! 

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Searching for Bigfoot…

November 5, 2014

 

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It’s hard not to like Georgio Tsoukalos, he of the wild hair who investigates the paranormal.  While Georgio is most interested in aliens, in S1/Ep05 of In Search of Aliens, Georgio goes Searching for Bigfoot, but of course manages to work in possible connections with extraterrestrials.  Unlike too many similar shows, Georgio actually meets with researchers and scientists, but puts his own unique spin on what he learns.  Going out with the Olympic Project Team into Washington’s Olympic Peninsula, Georgio learns of how the team has recorded vocalizations that cannot be matched with any identifiable species, heard “wood knockings,” and made molds of 16″ footprints.  He quickly goes off into wild speculations, however, on possible linkage between UFO sightings and Bigfoot appearances, further seeking to tie both in with animal mutilations in the area.  This in turn is seen to tie in with genetic manipulations by aliens, a favored theme.

After touching on Bigfoot sightings and additional speculations on whether sasquatch is possibly some kind of skinwalker or shape-shifter, Georgio wound up consulting with a biological anthropologist in San Diego, who deemed that undetected subspecies were indeed possible.  Bigfoot after all might be a surviving strain of Gigantopithecus.  Georgio would like to think that aliens manipulated primate genes to create humanity, and since Georgio seems to have tamed his hair a bit since hosting this series, I suppose all things are possible…