Posted tagged ‘Sir Can-A-Lot’

Things in the Refrigerator…

June 15, 2015

I,
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I, for one, find the notion of articulate beings addressing me from within the confines of an egg crate disquieting.  As someone who has taken a college-level embryology course, it’s hard enough for me to eat an egg, and I certainly don’t want to converse with one, much less some kind of medieval tiny humanoid thing clad in armor emerging from the crate.  This is clearly abnormal and wrong on so many different levels…

Introduced in 2012, Sir Can-A-Lot is on a crusade to “rescue the world from routine meals.” This Is far preferable, I suppose, to joining ISIS, and the diminutive knight is polite if annoyingly enthusiastic about the SPAM product that he endorses as “glorious SPAM!”  And I thought that needed a life!

Now in my dark little mind, I would like to see this scene rewritten to resemble a memorable one in the Gremlins films where a housewife becomes a kitchen samurai when confronted by invading gremlins, using household appliances against the invaders to deadly effect .– Let’s have the lady of the house grab the little knight, throw him in the microwave, and see if he sparks! Consider also throwing him in the sink garbage disposal to see how protective that tiny suit of armor really is! With a kitchen array of food processors, blenders, and cutting knives the possibilities for home defense are both varied and entertaining.

My mind is a strange and frightening place to be, really…

Sir Can-A-Lot…

April 16, 2012

– – I, for one, don’t like to discover foreign materials when I open an egg carton, and so I find it vaguely disquieting to ponder the notion of discovering a small armored knight occupying an egg compartment when one such container is opened in a Spam commercial.- -Does his rather surreal presence represent a new stage in chicken evolution?- -Do the other uncracked eggs also contain tiny armor-clad warriors, representing some kind of miniscule medieval army? –And if so, do they intend to take over and occupy my kitchen, perhaps as a prelude to an assault on my neighborhood?  One must worry about such things in this age of terrorism.–Should I seize this anachronistic warrior, and test his mettle by attempting to squeeze him to death?  Or do I hurl him down the sink garbage disposal, and hit the “on” switch?  Perhaps I should cast him into the microwave, and see if he sparks!  The legendary kitchen battle of the housewife against the title characters in the movie Gremlins comes to mind…

Actually, the character is Sir Can-A-Lot, and he has been created as a mascot for Spam in celebration of the 75th anniversary of the Hormel product.  He is here to “…rescue the world from routine meals,” and help rid you not from tiny dragons, but mealtime boredom.  Just don’t look to see him competing in Full Metal Jousting anytime soon…


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