Posted tagged ‘Asian carp’

Asian Carp Invasion!

November 4, 2010

– – Hah!- -Just when you thought that Halloween was over, the Asian carp are knocking at your door! They may already be in waterways near Lake Michigan, and five states are embroiled in a lawsuit against the City of Chicago, barge companies, and others to close Chicago area shipping locks in order to stop the spread of the ravenous fish!  The invasive carp, you see, may decimate a $7 billion a year fishing industry.  Biologists fear that the fish, which can weigh up to 100 pounds, would gobble plankton and starve out prized species such as salmon and walleye should they get into the lakes.

Opponents counter that closing the locks would undermine critical flood control measures in the Chicago area, and cost barge and tour-boat owners as well as others billions of dollars in lost business.  A U.S. District Judge is expected to rule on the matter within several week.

(I for one do not fear the Asian carp; they only want our computers for their young, and should be able to help me with my math…)

–Fear the Asian Carp!

November 22, 2009

– – The man is the picture loves fishing…I mean, really loves it!  I will not speculate about what a human-Asian carp hybrid would look like.  I’m afraid enough  of the Asian carp

These fish can exceed four feet in length, and 100 pounds in weight.  They can eat 40% of their body weight each day. And of course being Asian, they excel at math…

…just kidding about that last attribute, of course!   But these carp are crafty…they may have already penetrated an electronic barrier meant to keep them out of the Great Lakes, a barrier which cost nine million!

“We’re going to keep throwing everything we can at them to keep them out,” said the senior Great Lakes advisor to the EPA.   This reminds me of a Godzilla-vintage Japanese horror movie…

“We must stop Mega-carp!–We will throw everything that we have at it!” (footage shown of tanks shelling an enormous fish, all to no avail.)  “Quickly!–Deploy the Super-X!

…’scuse me, I lost my mind for a minute.–Anyhow, Asian carp escaped from southern fish farms into the Mississippi River during 1990’s flooding, and have been migrating northward since.  They decimate species prized by anglers and commercial fishers, and are known to leap from the water at the sound of passing motors and sometimes collide with boaters!   A worst-case scenario envisions them spreading “like a cancer cell.”

I dunno about you, but I’m sleeping with a light on, and an image of Mrs. Paul or maybe the Gordon fish guy in the room to protect me!

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