In his latest commercial, the Chantix Turkey, who dresses as if equipped from the Eddie Bauer catalogue, heads downtown and enjoys a variety of colder-weather activities. He ice skates but isn’t overly good at it, falling onto his feathered behind. Who can then blame him for warming his tail feathers by a convenient fire? In the city, the turkey also is seen emerging from a store, buying a soft pretzel to which he liberally applies mustard, and going to a newsstand. After such a full day, the turkey rides a bus home, clicking his heels upon entering it in jubilation that he has finally kicked his smoking habit “slow turkey.”
This commercial is notable in that we are shown other living creatures in the world which the turkey inhabits, and they both at the pretzel vendor and newsstand also appear to be turkeys! This doesn’t appear to be a Zootopia type scenario with a variety of different animal species, but rather just other anthropomorphic turkeys. Evolution has then followed a strange path here, although human vices like smoking still exist. There’s gotta be a comic Twilight Zone episode here…
That’s right…it’s a fowl world! But then again, you already knew that. Just someone tell me how the turkey’s feet fit in those clunky hiking boots he seems to favor wearing. And I think that I could kill for a good hot soft pretzel right about now, wouldn’t you? Soft pretzels…Mmmm!
Are you ready for the insurance-themed experiences of a lifetime? – -Well, you’re in luck, because you can visit Progressive Park, or thrill to Progressive On Ice! There should be no trouble getting into either location, and parking is abundant…
It’s fun for the whole family in the commercials at Progressive Park, where you can experience the no-bump bumper cars or the traffic jam roller coaster! For a more dazzling spectacle, take in Progressive On Ice, where Flo and Jamie look-alikes skate gracefully past scenarios like flimsy accident simulations. and have the whole seating aisle to yourself!
It’s all incredibly silly, but you gotta love the exuberant Progressive fursuited mascot dog who seems to be having a great time in spite of it all. Just be good, or you may find an iconic Progressive rate comparison tool under your Xmas tree…
He just might be the perfect antidote for too much enforced Christmas sweetness…Krampus, that is, the nightmarish figure with goatish and demonic features out of European folklore. He’d be right at home pursued by paranormal or cryptic investigators as he’s usually portrayed with hooves, claw-like fingers, long spiraled horns, and covered with dark hair. His tongue is long and protrusive, and his specialty is dealing with naughty children, beating them with birch switches and stuffing them in his sack for transport back to his lair, perhaps to become dinner…
The worst that Santa would do to you is put you on his “Naughty List,” or perhaps leave you a lump of coal. Santa’s a milquetoast compared to Krampus, who would terrorize you as kind of an anti-Santa. In “Old World” Europe, fairy tales weren’t always for entertainment…they could be morality plays intended to scare children into good or at least compliant behavior. Grimm’s fairy tales in the original could actually be pretty grim.
In Slovenia, Austria, Germany, Hungary, and the Czech Republic, adults get involved in a chaotic Krampus tribute involving public drunkenness and men running through the streets dressed as devils, with Krampus Night traditionally December 5th. In recent years, some people in the U.S. have begun throwing Krampus parties as a sort of twisted, anti-Christmas celebration. Krampus has enjoyed kind of a renaissance lately, and been featured in horror movies. So be good, for goodness sake! – -Ahh, I do so like Old World traditions… 🐺
Many of us have had the experience of driving with a distracting or troublesome passenger, some so irritating that you can barely drive for wanting to choke the life out of them. Well, Dean Winters and Tina Fey have another Allstate commercial gem that probes the potentially vexing relationship between a mother/daughter-in-law, with “Mom” judgemental and dispensing lots of unwanted advice…
Winters, who can play anything from a car thief to a raccoon to a cat, morphs easily into the mother-in-law role, wearing earrings, applying blush and lipstick, and mercilessly needling the driving Tina Fey with caustic and critical barbs about her driving and other things. “I’m your mother-in-law,” Winters advises viewers at the onset, “and I have to question your every move!”
Question this mother-in-law certainly does, such as “Do you have to drive this slow?” Turns out that Tina Fey is observing driving safely in conjunction with the Allstate Drivewise app to get insurance discounts. “How did you make someone I love?!,” questions Tina Fey. The nastiness continues…“My son always did say that you were the ‘safe choice,’ ” carps Mother Mayhem. “And that’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me!,” replies the long-suffering daughter-in-law.
After admonishing Tina Fey to try her lipstick as it was her son’s favorite color, Mayhem can’t resist asking her daughter-in-law why she drives like an old lady. “You’re an old lady!,” Tina Fey reminds her meddlesome passenger.- – Ahh, family! Blessed be the ties that bind…and gag!
Don’t worry; Foxsylvania hasn’t gotten into some kind of kinky sexual thing here. It’s just Dean Winters as Mayhem impersonating a 70-pound St. Bernard dog as he tries to distract driver Tina Fey as she resolutely pilots her vehicle. All of the uncontrolled puppy behaviors are depicted; affectionately licking his owner (after eating his own poop, fortunately not shown), thrashing materials around with his mouth, and barking out the window at other (real) dogs in cars…
…and why does Tina Fey have nerves of steel? She’s using Allstate’s “Drivewise” app to qualify for a discount as a safe driver, and Mayhem’s “tongue on cheek” performance isn’t going to deter her. He is, after all, just a baby…and Mayhem may have met his match, although he certainly seems to be enjoying himself…
I’ve always considered the Sparkle Fairy to be in that rarified class of people (entities?) who are cool yet disquieting at the same time. Progressive insurance’s Flo I would include in this grouping, although she lacks supernatural powers. I’m not sure that I’d like to encounter the Sparkle Fairy in my supermarket or elsewhere, although she seems mostly harmless. To give proper credit, however, she wears blue really well, and some people even consider her hawt. I also appreciate her general vibe and “fish-out-of-water” characteristics.
In a recent commercial, a guy is pigging out on ribs, a messy meal, and wishes for more paper towels to assist in this.–Presto! The Sparkle Fairyappears, and announces that her product now offers 200 more sheets than a leading competitor’s brand. “I wish I had 200 more ribs!,” pines the hungry guy. Obligingly, the Sparkle Fairy makes those ribs appear on his table. Smitten, the guy proposes marriage on the spot. “I’m into Giants,” advises the fairy matter-of-factly. To each their own, I suppose, and who am I to judge?
In my twisted mind, I can envision a paranormal investigation show going in search of the Sparkle Fairy and perhaps baiting a trap with paper towels. When thus captured, the fairy’s anger is unleashed and serious dark enchantments ensue, with many turned into newts. Hilarity ensues…
Delayed and bumped by baseball, The Masked Singer finally aired a compensatory double episode this past week subtitled Mask Us Anything/Maskish. Eliminated were the Penguin (Sherri Shepherd} and the Black Widow (Raven Symone). I rather figured that Penguin would soon depart, but was rather sad to see Black Widow go as she looked like something Ellen Ripley might fight in an Aliens movie. Spidery squatting postures and on-stage effects like giant webs added to Black Widow’s allure…
Surviving performers included Rottweiler, Ladybug, Flower, Thingamajig, Butterfly, Tree, Leopard, Flamingo, and my personal fave, the Fox, who performed “Look Ma, I Made It” accompanied by back-up dancers absurdly attired in hats that sported ears and fox tails. The performance included a synchronized dance break in which the Fox demonstrated that he can move superbly even encumbered by a full body costume…he really got his groove on!
Whether you’re furry, love offbeat stuff, or just don’t want to let go of Halloween, this show is worth a look…
d-CON is in the strange position of making a product that most people hope not to need, but want to buy if they need it, and in advertising for their rat and mice control products have now as in the past taken a whimsical approach. In the past they have shown a clearly human actor clad in an obvious mouse costume, in one ad being told by a woman that he “disgusts (her),” to which the mouse responds, “Prove it!”
In a recent commercial, we’re shown instead some almost cute puppet mice at a social gathering, most likely set in a kitchen. The hostess mouse remarks to a guest that she sees her guest has found the snacks, that mouse responding that “she must have the recipe!” The hostess replies that everyone thinks she made the treats, but really they were made by d-CON. There is then a thunking sound as the guest falls to the floor, leaving the clueless hostess calling for her friend, “Judy?”
Mice love d-CON to death, you see…and isn’t it curious how people love cartoon mice, but not the genuine article in their homes?
Attics may be disquieting places in which the stored past lives on, even intruding on the present. Mannequins can be creepy because they imitate a life that they lack, a horrific potential that has been explored in Twilight Zone stories among others. As part of their GEICOween series, the Gecko takes a new homeowner into the attic of his recent house acquisition, convinced that doing so can reveal the home’s charm in what has been left behind. While the Gecko discovers a music box complete with a tiny ballerina, the focal point of this attic is a table around which are seated a number of broken mannequins, their faces frozen in a variety of peculiar and even disturbing expressions as they partake of a tea party of the damned…
Observing these house haunts is a bit too much for the new owner of the abode, who beats a hasty retreat from further exploration of his discovery. Perhaps in the Rod Serling tradition, these mannequins each have stories to tell, and lives that they live when not under observation. I’d join their little attic party for tea and tales, wouldn’t you?
The inference is that while Geico may not be able to help you with malevolent spirits in your home, they can assist you with homeowners and renters insurance. Just keep an eye on those mannequins, OK?- –Boo!
In a series of Halloween-themed commercials, Geico insurance introduces us to Griselda the witch, a witchy but wonderfully hip witch who builds on traditional stereotypes to in one commercial host a karaoke cooking show, complete with bubbling cauldron in which angel sneezes and a thumb drive are added to the brew!
But I digress…in one wonderful, furry-themed commercial, two female college students have taken in Griselda as a compromise roommate, one seeking someone who can help with the cooking, and the other wanting someone who likes cats. Griselda fits the bill nicely, spoon-feeding one of the students soup that transforms her into an anthropomorphic cat complete with cat ears, facial features, and furry forearms… I’d drink of that brew anytime! While her cooking may be questionable, Geico can really help these students with renters insurance, we’re told.
Anyways, Griselda is a real hoot as is her furry creation, and deserves to be a breakout character. We Halloween lovers thank you, Geico…watch for yourself, and meow!
(tip o’ the pen to Carycomic for the idea for this post!)
FOXSYLVANIA 
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