– – Witches could use a good spin doctor to handle their bad PR problem; they’re often portrayed as ugly and evil. Hollywood has also put forth a number of doctored and rehashed variations lately on classic fairy tales, with Red Riding Hood one of the most common. In this vein, Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters will be coming your way soon, conceived as an action fantasy sequel to the tale of two kids who stumble into a candy-covered witch house in the woods where they are taken prisoner and almost wind up consumed.
Well, in the 3D Witch Hunters, it’s now 15 years later, and the grown-up Hansel and Gretel are doing the Van Helsing thing on witches, who they shoot, stab, burn, and behead; at one point, a Gatling gun will be turned on them…there are serious anger issues here! Gretel is limber, and looks good in leather. At least it’s not intended to be taken seriously, and Witch Hunters mixes horror with hilarity. There will be ancient Bavarian milk bottles bearing pictures of missing witch-kidnapped children, for example. There will also be a troll named Edward…
I guess we’ll see what happens during the Feast of the Blood Moon in this Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer film produced by Will Ferrell and associates, and starring Jeremy Renner and Gemma Arterton as the dynamic duo…
– – In the upcoming movie, Rise of the Guardians, furry interests are well represented by the character of E. Aster Bunnymund, the Easter Bunny on steroids and with an attitude. Voiced by none less than Hugh Jackman (“Wolverine“), this bunny is calm and friendly to kids, but features an Australian accent, deploys egg bombs, and throws a mean boomerang! The film is based on William Joyce’s bestselling Guardians of Childhood book series.
– – Described as “visually stunning” and “the next Avatar,” an upcoming November 21st movie Life of Pi is a 3D magical adventure tale based on the best-selling 2001 novel by Yann Martel which centers on Pi Patel, the 16-year-old precocious son of a zoo keeper who has an encyclopedic knowledge of animal psychology and behavior. The Indian teenager is the only human to survive the sinking of a freighter, and finds himself on a lifeboat with several animals that include an orangutan, a hyena, a wounded zebra, and a Bengal tiger. While on the surface a tale of survival, Life of Pi holds spiritual dimensions as well, although there is no preaching going on here, and more questions are raised about faith and belief than answered. Pi himself practices not only his native Hinduism but also Christianity and Islam; paralleling the story of the young man and the tiger, this is a zen-like tale about coexistence, tolerance, and the reconciliation of opposites…something the world could use more of!
– – I’m usually not much for family-friendly movie monsters as they tend to be overly sanitized, but Wayne the Werewolf from the upcoming movie Hotel Transylvania may be a redeeming grace, or at least a focal point for furry aficionados.
– – Imagine your favorite plush childhood companion coming to life and maturing with you into adulthood, and you have the premise for Ted, a live action/CG movie written, directed, and produced by Seth MacFarlane of Family Guy fame. Ted the bear is voiced by MacFarlane himself, and sounds much like his Peter Griffin character would sound like if reincarnated as a teddy bear. Ted, however, is both outrageous and foul-mouthed; this is not a movie for the kiddies! Ted is rated “R” for language and content.
– – Before there was Buffy the Vampire Slayer, there was…Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter! In one of the strangest, genre-blending movies since Cowboys & Aliens, the film to be released June 22nd wil
— It’s not easy being a demigod; everyone expects great things out of you! Pity poor Perseus; as if whipping the Kraken wasn’t enough in 2010’s Clash of the Titans, now he has to beat a whole host of other assorted monsters in Wrath of the Titans. There will be a slew of them to boot in this special effects extravaganza, everything from a thirty-foot high Cyclops to a Minotaur to my personal fave, a Chimera…I just like things with multiple heads and incongruous parts that spew fire, that’s the way I roll! Mighty Kronos himself enters the fray, just dripping with lava…what more could a boy want? Yes, I know, robots, zombies, mummies, aliens, and werewolves are extremely cool too, but you can’t have them all in the same movie and preserve artistic integrity.- -Besides, I’d die of too much happiness!
– – If you’re up to seeing Michael Caine riding a giant wasp in a movie that includes former wrestler Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson as well as wildlife such as really small elephants, you 
FOXSYLVANIA 
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