Archive for the ‘furry’ category

“America’s Wolfman” on MonsterQuest

March 25, 2010

– – The America’s Wolfman episode of MonsterQuest promised much but delivered little.   It was, at any rate, not another feral dogs or killer bees episode. Described as being a husky 7-7-1/2 feet tall with a large head, dark hair, and pointed ears, the American Wolfman seen in the midwest walks on his hind legs, has a foul odor, and uses his forepaws like hands.

Also known as the Michigan Dogman (similar but not to be confused with the Wisconsin Dogman),  the creature was supposedly revealed on the Gable Film acquired in 2006 with the backstory of having been originally made in the 1970’s and acquired at an estate sale.   The Gable Film was later revealed to be a hoax staged by a family.  A sequel, Gable 2, followed in 2008 and detailed a police investigation of the first film.

In its usual dutiful manner, MonsterQuest in this episode sent its team to the Manistee Forest area in Michigan where sightings have occurred, and camera traps were set revealing footage of deer and other animals suitable as a food source for a wolf and coyote population. Footprints were also found which were judged to be a member of the dog family, specifically a wolf.   Some experts regard the creature to be a misidentified timber wolf, or just an unusually big wolf…right!

Eyewitness accounts related included a fall of 1979 hunting encounter when a hunter discerned a large creature who moved when he did.  In another incident in 1987 in Michigan, claw and puncture marks as well as blood and slobber were found on a cabin with canine footprints in the area.  Other accounts are numerous, and date back to Native American folklore.

Does the Michigan Dogman exist?- -As the episode concluded, “Who’s to say?  It doesn’t want to be seen.” We’ve heard this all repeatedly before…

…but I still like the big guy!

Monkey Business…

March 24, 2010

– – In another safety drill at Tama Zoo in Tokyo, an employee dressed in an orangutan suit acted out the scenario of a primate escaping the perimeter fence in the orangutan enclosure.

A member of the staff was seized by the beast before he met his match in a keeper armed with a tranquilizer gun…

A Far Side cartoon is begging to be drawn with zoo visitors viewing obvious “animals” in fursuits, perhaps the result of budgetary cuts…and even the old Planet of the Apes series had far better orangutan costumes!

Japanese Zoo Captures Furry!

March 22, 2010

– – As if furries didn’t get enough disrespect, a Japanese zoo in February practiced response to a tiger escape using…and I swear I am not making this up…a guy in a tiger suit!

A Tokyo animal park conducted the drill to train the zookeepers in emergencies such as a tiger escaping.  About 100 firefighters took part in the drill, together with police and one person in a tiger fursuit.    To his credit, the cute stunt tiger evaded authorities for minutes while zookeepers practiced taking shots with a tranquilizer gun and eventually capturing the ferocious furry.   He did knock one of them down, and they will probably remember him…this is, after all, the Year of the Tiger!

Billy the Exterminator!

March 13, 2010

– – You may not want to watch this show while eating, especially when he’s grappling with cockroaches, but otherwise Billy the Exterminator on the A & E network is a hoot!

Now Louisiana has lots of critters needing removal, and Billy together with his brother, Ricky, and other members of his family run a small but effective operation that’s shared with you.   Billy himself looks like an over-aged punk rocker or goth, complete with spiked hair, black clothes,  spiked armband, and  an aura of cheerful insanity; such apparently helps in that business.   He seems like a really nice guy and knows his stuff, even if you wouldn’t want him to marry your sister…anyhow, ladies, he’s taken!   As far as exterminators go, Billy’s also refreshingly humane, and tends to be into relocation of most of the life forms he removes, except for the insects.- –Catch and Release, three words to live by!

Watch a few episodes, and you’ll see Billy remove poisonous snakes, raccoons, bats, beavers, and a variety of other mammals and invertebrates from sites where they’re not wanted.  In a recent surreal episode, the intrepid exterminator was called upon to remove a nasty, p.o.’d rattlesnake from the cremation area of a funeral parlor.  It’s not all the glory stuff, however…in an another episode, you crawl along with Billy as he goes underneath a building to remove the festering and rancid corpse of a bloated, decomposing cat that’s stinking to high heaven.–“Fluffy’s not so fluffy anymore,” jokes Billy, noting that bugs are crawling in and out of the late cat’s head.- -Sure am glad that I wasn’t snacking during that one!

So give Billy the Exterminator a look…he’s got an interesting if offbeat life, and you might find a new role model!


Animal Lawyer!

March 9, 2010

– – You have, of course, heard of Ace Ventura, Pet Detective. But did you know that Switzerland boasts an animal lawyer?

Now animal rights are no joke in tiny Switzerland, which revised and tightened its regulations two years ago.  Their animal protection laws are 160 pages long, stating among other things that pigs, budgies, goldfish, and other social animals can’t be kept alone.  Horses and cows must have regular exercise outside their stalls, and dog owners must take a training course to learn how to look after their pets.   As in other countries, the law forbids killing animals in a cruel fashion or for fun.    Swiss voters, however, recently rejected by a margin of about 70% a proposal which would have required special lawyers to be appointed to act on behalf of animals.

Switzerland’s single animal defense lawyer, Antoine F. Goetschel, represents about 150-200 animals annually, although only a handful of cases go to court each year.  Most of his clients are dogs, cows, and cats.  Cases often involve the serious abuse of animals, such as deliberate wounding, neglect, and yes, rape.  Such cases can get a bit ridiculous, as in one handled last month where the attorney represented a dead pike after an animal protection group accused the angler who caught it of cruelty for taking ten minutes to haul the fish in…

Early Conditioning…

March 6, 2010

– – I was programmed to be furry from an early age; just my karma, I guess…anyways, when just a wee one I was enrolled in the Cub Scouts (although I would have preferred to have been called a fox kit), and attended weekly meetings in a den led by a den mother.– -Are you sensing a pattern here?!

Then I was made to swear an oath, and they’re serious stuff, by the way…swearing an oath is not to be confused with just plain swearing, which I learned early on can get you into a heap o’ trouble!  Part of the oath was, “…to obey the laws of the pack.” (silent pause for dramatic effect)

Now, many years later, I’m still bound by that oath, waiting for the pack leader to appear.- – Someone’s gotta tell me what I’m supposed to do;  I need my orders, right?   Until then and the coming revolution,  I suppose that as Churchill said,  “they also serve who only stand and wait.” I’m good at waiting as it’s not labor-intensive. – – Someday, the Alpha male will come and give me my marching orders…I have faith!

…another part of the Cub Scout oath was, “to be square”…and that, I’m afraid, has come all too true…

(…although I am a bit twisted, ahahahahaha!)    😉


Oh Deer!

March 1, 2010

– – A statue of two deer making whoopie in the missionary position caused quite a stir when it graced the Herron School of Art’s campus in Indianapolis in the summer of 2005.– -How deer they! Although the statue left the premises in late 2006, it continues to evoke memories and controversy.

Entitled “Trophy,” the sculpture was crafted by Wim Delvoye, a Belgian artist.  According to him, the statue was never supposed to evoke a sense of shock.  “These animals love each other very much,” he explained.   “Only in the United States was this sculpture regarded as shocking.”

“It is funny, but I see a lot of tenderness in the way they kiss,” noted the artists.  “I tried it with dogs and cats, but it looked like they were fighting.”

(We sophisticates, of course, know that they were wrestling!)

The buck naked statue which you see incompletely here is currently back in Belgium with its creator…

Fur Flies Over Skater’s “Fashion”

February 16, 2010

– – It is hard for a vulpine American such as myself to remain dispassionate about the topic of any individual wearing real animal fur, which I strongly feel should be worn only by its original owner.  The decision of U.S. men’s figure skater Johnny Weir to wear a costume trimmed with genuine white fox fur at US Nationals did not sit well with me, and accordingly his decision to dispense with such costumes at Vancouver for the Olympics is welcomed.

Anti-fur activists and animal advocacy groups such as Friends of Animals and PETA had posted open letters to Weir decrying his fashion choices, but deny having sent hate mail and death threats to the skater as he has alleged.  Weir contends that threats caused him to scrub plans to stay at a hotel rather than the Olympic Village.

A spokesman for Friends of Animals has pointed out that the pelts of foxes are obtained from their original owners by the foxes being beaten or electrocuted and then skinned alive…hardly a practice we want a potential role model to underwrite.

Red Fox vs. Vulture!

February 11, 2010

– – True Story: In Bulgaria, a red fox took on a vulture that was two times his size!  Despite the size advantage, the fox was much stronger, and the vulture beat a hasty retreat!

So the fox prevailed…all the while looking good while doing it!     😉

“Gothic Kitties” Merchant Faces Trial

February 3, 2010

– – A Wilkes-Barre  dog groomer who pierced the ears and necks of kittens to market them on eBay as “Gothic kittens” for hundreds of dollars will soon be facing trial on animal cruelty charges…

Prosecutors say she inflicted pain on the felines to make money, while attorneys for the woman said she didn’t act maliciously. The woman contends that she used sterilized needles, made sure the kittens were healing properly, and didn’t intend to hurt them…

…I hope they throw the book at her!