Archive for the ‘furry’ category

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The Dogs of War…

June 10, 2011

 – – I think it was Shakespeare who in one of his history plays (possibly Julius Caesar) had a main character utter a line about “…cry havoc, and let slip the dogs of war.“–Well, the dogs of war are with us, they are valuable supports for our troops, and are doing really cool things, all the while looking great while doing it!  They do furry proud!

Consider that a canine commando came with the Navy SEALs team that nailed Osama bin Laden, arriving strapped onto one of the assault team members.  While the composition of that team is understandably kept secret, most likely the canine  involved was a German shepherd or a Belgian Malinois, although Labrador retrievers are also becoming popular.

There are over 2,700 canines in the military dog program who may function as specialized search dogs or combat trackers, moving ahead of the humans to find explosives or people that are hidden.  Dogs have seen military service for more than 100 years, seeing combat in the Civil War and World War I.  It was only beginning in 1942 that canines were officially inducted into the U.S. army, and today they are a central part of U.S. efforts in Iraq and Afghanistan…

Categories: animals, cool things, furry, furry stories, historical perspectives
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Comments: 3 Comments

It Don’t Smell Like Roses!

June 6, 2011

 – – A Minnesota man recently deployed a fox product against pranksters who had been toilet papering his property; he hit them with fox urine!–Hey, we didn’t ask to be a biological weapon!

After discovering 15 to 20 people on his soybean field armed with, err, toilet paper, the property owner ordered the teenagers to leave, swore at them, and finally unleashed a Supersoaker squirt gun filled with fox urine upon the group!

…now fox urine has a rather distinctive and putrid smell, so much so that it is used to discourage rodents and other pests from trespassing.  It may therefore be judged equally unpleasant as an aftershave or body spray for young people.  The fox pee gunslinger now faces charges of fifth degree assault and disorderly conduct related to the incident.

Fox urine, by the way, is also a good repellent for rabbits, skunks, squirrels, possums, and woodchucks, and is also available as a less messy shake away powder which works longer, smells stronger, and won’t evaporate, freeze, or soak into the ground the way regular fox urine does…better living through chemistry, right?


Categories: animals, furry, strange happenings, weird
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Comments: 4 Comments

Doritos “Mouse Attack” Commercial!

May 29, 2011

 – – This commercial was actually crafted for initial display at the Super Bowl, and has been around a while but seems to be enjoying a renaissance, so we can benefit, too!  An apparently wealthy man enters his mansion-like home, wearing an immaculate suit and slicked-down hair.  As the opera “Carmen” plays in the background, this man of means baits a mousetrap with Doritos, places it before a classic mouse-hole, and then positions himself in a chair before the baited trap, presumably to enjoy the gruesome spectacle to follow.

The joke’s on Richie Rich, however.  As he stuffs his face with Doritos,  a human-sized mouse in a cheesy fursuit erupts from the wall and is briefly glimpsed bowling into the man, and knocking him and his chair completely over!  We then see the gargantuan mouse astride the prone man, pummeling him with both paws and landing some solid punches!- -Well done, oh mouse that roars!- –Furry Pride! 

 

Categories: absurdities, animals, Brilliant but twisted, cool things, furry, furry commercials, television
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Netflix Tiger and Bunny Commercial

May 25, 2011

 – – In a Netflix commercial spot, a grouchy live-action grandpa intrudes into an animated world where a tiger and a bunny are cutely curled up together asleep.  “I’m not going to cry, am I?,” asks grandpa of the ‘toon characters.  “Only if you don’t believe in the power of friendship!,” responds the doe-eyed bunny sprightly.  “Really?,” counters the jaded and sarcastic tiger.  “You guys are good!,” the curmudgeonly grandpa says in parting from the cartoon duo, a ‘toon critter hanging on his back.

In the next scene, grandpa is back in the living room, begrudgingly watching the classically-styled animated cartoon movie with his wife and granddaughter.  “That’s so cute, it’s stupid!,” comments grandpa of the Disneyesque movie.  As we  well know, cute and stupid sells, and so does this clever Netflix ad that works on a variety of levels…

Categories: animals, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, cartoons, furry, furry art, furry commercials, television
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Coyote Attacks and Fear of Foxes

May 23, 2011

 – – Red foxes at times have an image problem; you know, that whole “crazy as a fox” thing and the business about leaving a fox to guard the henhouse.  In the minds of some people, foxes have also been tainted because of being incorrectly associated with coyotes, our larger canine cousins who can do some nasty things.  There were some coyote attacks in the state of New York last year.  Outweighing us handily, coyotes will also prey on foxes, and push us further into suburban subdivisions; they’re well supplied by Acme.

For the record, foxes don’t want to eat the  kids or pets of suburbanites; we do have our standards, after all!  Fox kits are born in late winter to early spring, when they come out of their dens to frolic ( lurking doesn’t come until much later with advanced training).  Because of the unpleasantness with coyotes, some people wig out when they discover fox families non grata in their yards.  Foxes adapt to suburbia quite well, and can find cover in hedges, under sheds, and in old woodchuck holes; we’ll even use more than one den.  Small rodents are a food source, although we’ll eat lots of other stuff as well. 

People needn’t panic, however; we’ll disperse if given a grace period or made uncomfortable; putting a chair or wheelbarrow near the current home might do the trick.  A State Department of Wildlife Conservation biologist suggests placing a radio near a fox den if you don’t want them about. 

Elevator music would send me packing in short order!

Categories: animal behavior, animals, environmental, furry
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Wrath of the Feline…

May 21, 2011

 – – Within even your common domestic house cat there continues to reside something  feral, something so awesome that we trifle with it at our own risk…and at least one man taken to the hospital might now tend to agree with me…

…while the details of the case are not well presented, it would appear that a man in Cleveland, Texas got into an altercation with a 20-pound feral cat that he found sitting in the living room of his house upon returning to it.   Scared, police said, the man grabbed a knife to try and protect himself from the cat, who seconds later is reported to have attacked the man in the bathroom.  Things got nasty then, with the 40-year-old man admitting that he stabbed the cat multiple times and the cat apparently giving back as good as she got, perhaps exploiting the man’s ineptitude with the knife and reportedly getting his pinkie really well; a claw and chaw operation!  When medics arrived, the man was bleeding profusely, and was rushed to the hospital in critical condition.  The cat was also in bad shape, but undaunted (“–Gonna mess you up bad!,” said the cat, “Bring it on,  pinkie!- -You blink, you bleed!- -Is that the best you got, suckah?- -You ain’t worth my time!”).

The feral cat was taken by animal control officers, tested for rabies, and was then euthanized…some say that as the lethal chemicals dripped into her veins, the cat seemed to be enjoying herself…she died a warrior, having fought bravely and well against another life form armed with a weapon who was about ten times her size!

“It is a far better thing that I do than I have ever done,” thought the cat as sleep took her, “it is a far better rest that I go to than I have ever known!”

“Welcome to paradise!,” roared Tatiana the tiger in greeting…

Categories: animal behavior, animal occurrences, animals, furry
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– -The Fiendish Plot of Chuck E. Cheese?

May 19, 2011

 – – from our ridiculous furry lawsuits dept:   I’ve always found there to be something vaguely disquieting about Chuck E. Cheese; maybe it’s in the eyes or the teeth, or maybe it’s just the idea of a giant rodent…is he allowed in the food preparation areas?  I’m not sure I’m comfortable with that… anyways, according to one mother suing the restaurant chain for a cool five million, Chuck E. has a darker agenda; promoting gambling addiction!

Yes, according to a San Diego mother of two, many of the games at Chuck E. Cheese locations are actually illegal gambling devices because they take 25 cent tokens which dependent on the score dispense tickets that can be redeemed for prizes.  The higher the score, the greater the number of tickets dispensed, and the better the prize.  The games often take only a few seconds to play, and some of them feature a roulette-type wheel.   Pretty soon, you’ve got a serious habit, and are betting away the lunch money…it’s a slippery slope, right?

Chuck E. Cheese attorneys are moving for a dismissal of the lawsuit on the basis that the games are legal and that the California legislature never intended to make operating a children’s arcade game a criminal act…and at least one gambling expert sees a difference between a game that awards tickets and one that pays out in cold hard cash.  

Categories: absurdities, furry, strange
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Animal Smuggling…

May 14, 2011

 – -We’ve posted previously here on Foxsylvania about the illegal trade in wild and exotic animals, including animal smuggling.  While it’s fairly common for one type of animal to be smuggled (snakes, spiders, etc.), some smugglers diversify and try to take a variety of different species out.

Take for example the case of a man arrested at Thailand’s international  airport May 13th after he was caught trying to smuggle wild animals out of the country.  The man, identified as a citizen of the United Arab Emirates, was trying to board a flight to Dubai when investigators found a baby bear, two leopards, two panthers, and at least two monkeys stuffed into his luggage!  Don’t ask me how…must have been some pretty big luggage!

The anti-animal trafficking group FREELAND said the man is believed to be part of a far-reaching animal trafficking network…

Categories: animal abuse, animal rights, animals, deplorable practices, endangered species, furry
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Advance Auto Parts Speed Training…

May 6, 2011

 – – Failure is not an option for those participating in Advance Auto Parts Speed Training, at least not if you value your backside!  Imagine sprinting briskly across the African plain while hoisting a muffler to your shoulder…no picnic that, but it gets worse when you’re wearing a meat suit of raw steaks around your waist, and being pursued by a pack of at least five lions very interested in a luncheon!  That ought to get the employees to beat feet!  The performance of the guy first depicted is apparently at least adequate; he lives to draw salary another day, and earns a “not bad” comment from his boss waiting to pick him up in a jeep.  We are not shown the fate of the girl who follows next, a garland of meat around her neck…hope she ran track and field!

In a related commercial, we are shown battery installations practiced while free-falling from a plane; it’s almost as brutal as the performance reviews I used to undergo.   One suspects that Advance has a really interesting retirement plan…


Categories: absurdities, animals, Brilliant but twisted, furry, furry commercials, television
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Comments: 4 Comments

Cartoon Cryptids

May 2, 2011

 – – Gossamer is a hulking, hairy reddish monster somewhat reminiscent of Bigfoot who is part of the Looney Tunes/Merrie Melodies universe.  He wears enormous tennis shoes,  and has a heart-shaped face in which may be seen oval eyes and a wide mouth.  Beyond these features and dirty clawed fingers, little else may be discerned about Gossamer, whose primary characteristic is the trademark hair; indeed, Gossamer may be made entirely of hair!   He is anything but gossamer, a name referring to a delicate type of spider silk.

First appearing in the 1946 film Hair-Raising Hare, Gossamer was the henchman of a mad scientist who bears a strong resemblance to Peter Lorre; if you don’t know who that is, you don’t watch enough old classic films !  Anyways,  Bugs Bunny is lured by a mechanical female rabbit to the lair of the mad scientist to be a meal for Gossamer, but makes merry sport of the monster instead (“I’m always interested in meeting interesting people!,” Bugs tells the creature while working on his nails).  Gossamer is revealed to be frightened of people, who it must be admitted can be pretty frightening. 

Originally nameless, Gossamer was referred to as Rudolph in a 1952 short, and didn’t land the name Gossamer until such was bestowed on him by none less than Marvin the Martian in the 1980 Duck Dodgers feature.  Gossamer has enjoyed small roles in a number of Warner Bros. productions since…

Categories: animal oddities, anomalies, cartoons, furry, imaginary animals, weird
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